Chapter 19

Cody ignored Kid's outstretched hand and greeting. As soon as his horse slowed down, he jumped and rushed inside the main house, shouting Louisa's name.

Jimmy dismounted with considerably less speed and more grace than his friend. His smile of greeting held a hint of apology. "We met up about 5 miles from here. Cody was riding like the devil, mad with worry, I think," he said by way of explanation as he shook hands with Kid and hugged Teaspoon.

"Of course," Kid agreed, his own smile a bit strained. 

His eyes followed Cody's figure, wondering how long it would take for Cody's fear to turn into fury. He had a pretty good idea who the target of his friend's anger would be. Pushing the thought away, he shifted his attention back to Jimmy in time to catch Hickok's searching look before he turned away. He knew his friend noticed the weariness in his face. When they were younger, any show of concern had brought his back up. He had felt like his ability to take care of  himself was being questioned. Ultimately, he had brushed off offers of help. It took him and the other riders a while to realize they were stronger as a unit. And with Lou and their family, Teaspoon and Buck to look after now, Kid was grateful for all the help he could get. "I'm glad you're here, Jimmy."

Hickok heard Kid's words and he knew exactly how difficult it was for his friend to admit he needed help. Jimmy looked around, noting the spooked yet determined faces of the dozen or so ranch hands around him. "Looks like you're holding up just fine to me," he observed. 

"Until the next attack," a quiet voice put in.

Jimmy's head swiveled around to find Buck striding towards the clearing from the barn, a gun in his hand. "There you are," Jimmy called out with a smile. "I felt you sighting me with that rifle when we rode into the ranch."

"Sorry," Buck lips curved in a half-smile that never reached his eyes. "Had to make sure you weren't a raider."

The smile slipped and Jimmy's face hardened at the mention of the gang's name. "So, it's true then," he said. He drew a shaky breath, his right hand unconsciously fingering the year-old wound in his side. The Black Raiders' leader had shot him pointblank during their last confrontation. "I guess I needed to hear that said out loud. I was kinda hoping Kid here made a mistake in his note."

"The only mistake I ever made was failing to shoot that bastard when I had the chance. I won't make the same mistake twice," Kid vowed. With that he signaled the men to return to their watch, then led the way into the main house.

*****

Her heart beat so loudly Louisa thought she could actually hear it in her ears. William is here, she whispered. Joy tangled with apprehension and guilt. She struggled to sit up from her crouched position behind Amanda but found her legs unwilling to support her. And that was the unfortunate position Cody found her in.

"Oh God, sweetheart, are you hurt?" Cody exclaimed as he burst through the door of Kid and Lou's bedroom.

Louisa shook her head. "No, no, I'm fine. I was just--" she tried to say.

But Cody heard none of it as he enveloped her in his arms, showering kisses on her upturned face and murmuring prayers of gratitude. Louisa returned the hug just as tightly, her apprehension melting under the intense display of her husband's worry.

Lou shot Amanda an amused glance as she crossed over to the closet where her babies where safely tucked away. Jamie and Marylou were already out, clinging to her skirts. Lauren stood in one corner of the room, the revolver forgotten in her hands as she watched the couple in tight embrace in the middle of the room with fascination. 

Amanda wordlessly indicated she'll go down to greet Jimmy. The man known as Wild Bill had always been her favorite among the riders, though the past year had brought her closer to Kid, Lou and Buck. Lou nodded and after she had carefully placed her twins in their cribs and sent the two older ones with Lauren to prepare for bed, she approached Cody and Louisa. She was shocked, though, when she placed a hand on Cody's shoulder to get his attention and had it shrugged off. Louisa, too, was surprised by her husband's behavior.

"Don't touch me," Cody snarled at Lou. "Not me. Not my wife."

"What?!" Lou stepped back as if she was slapped. She darted a look at Louisa, whose confused expression mirrored hers.

"William," Louisa protested. She had never seen her husband so rude, his body was trembling with suppressed fury. She tried to go between him and Lou but he pulled her behind him, leaving Lou gaping at them. 

"Which room is yours? We've got to pack your things," Cody said as he strode down the hall, carelessly opening doors and slamming them closed. He was trying to find Louisa's room but his anger made it difficult for him to see beyond the red haze in front of his eyes or hear past the buzzing in his head. He never heard his wife say the room right after Kid and Lou's was hers. Cody reached the end of the hallway and turned around to find Lou blocking the way.

"Get out of my way," he shouted. He saw Lou flinch but he was past caring. All he could think of was that she and Kid and Buck had let his wife get hurt and lose their baby. "I want my wife out of this damned house. God knows what other harm will come to her if she stays a minute longer."

Lou's face fell as she realized the reason behind Cody's anger. She had no defense for she, too, blamed herself for the loss of Louisa's baby. How many times had she thought, "If only I didn't let her and John ride out that day, maybe he would still be alive and she would still have the child in her womb." Her recriminations were cut short with the sound of heavy, rapid footsteps on the stairs. She glanced back and saw Kid followed by Jimmy, Buck and Teaspoon. Their worried faces told her they were alerted by Cody's raised voice.

"What's happening here?" Teaspoon demanded, his eyes shifting from Cody's accusing face to Louisa's tearful one to Lou's shattered demeanor.

"You tell me." Cody let go of Louisa's hand and folded his arms across his chest. So this is how it was going to play out, he thought darkly. Five against two. He moved towards Kid, who stood beside Lou, and said softly, "I asked you to take care of my wife. But you go and get her nearly killed." He jabbed Kid on the chest, "Hell, you got my child killed."

"William, that's not true," Louisa gasped, her fingers pressed to her lips in mortification.

But Cody ignored her and continued addressing Kid, "Do you know what I want to do right now? I want to pound my fists on your face so you will know my pain."

"Why don't you?" Kid responded softly. How could I argue when Cody is merely repeating what I have been telling himself, he thought. He felt he had failed to protect Louisa and the loss of the baby would always be in his hands. 

Cody heard a dare not an apology in Kid's words. He reached out to take Kid's shirtfront but found himself being pushed back none too gently by Buck.

"That's enough," Buck barked at Cody. He, too, felt guilt over what happened to Louisa -- among other things -- but he couldn't allow Cody to disparage Kid. His words were becoming more hurtful than actual blows. "Kid tried his best to protect everybody on this ranch."

"Oh he did, did he?" Cody scoffed. "And what about you? What were you doing while all this was happening? Were you too busy with your menial chores to be bothered? Busy being nothing more than a glorified stable hand? Mucking stables, slapping the--"

"Stop it, William! Just stop it!" The outburst stunned everyone and left them speechless. Cody's face seemed almost comical in its surprise. He had obviously never seen this explosive side of his wife. As they all gaped at her, Louisa realized she had never shouted at anyone in her life and the experience was oddly thrilling. "Kid and Lou are not at fault here. Neither is Buck. If you're going to blame the loss of our child on someone, blame it on me. I was the mother. I was supposed to take care of--" Louisa's voice hitched. "I was supposed to take care of our baby."

Cody shook his head vigorously, not only in objection but also to clear his overwhelmed senses. He had never seen such passion in his wife. She was magnificent with her eyes glittering, her chest heaving in agitation. She had never looked more alive to Cody and he felt a prick of uneasiness that he wasn't responsible for it. "No, Louisa, you're a victim here. Of carelessness."

"Oh yes, William. I'm to blame here. As you are," she said heatedly. Long-buried resentment spewed forth like lava from a volcano. "It wasn't Kid or Buck's job to take care of me or protect me. It was yours. But you didn't see that, did you? Or if you did, you decided to ignore it. You passed me on to your friends like a sack of potatoes and with a tip of your hat you were gone on another dangerous adventure. Didn't you even stop and think, I needed you. My child and I needed you." She shook her head when Kid and the others moved to leave the room. "Don't leave. This isn't just between Cody and me. He included you in this when he started railing at you."

"I-- You said it was all right for me to go with the army," Cody blurted out like a petulant child defending his actions.

"I never said that," she said quietly. "I never asked you to stay either. I figured I didn't need to ask if you really loved me."

"I can't believe this. Where did you get all these ideas? Who have you been talking to? Lou? Amanda? It doesn't matter. I'm getting you out of here," he said, reaching out to take Louisa's hand but the only thing he managed to grasp was air as his wife stepped back. "Louisa, honey, listen to me. We're leaving right now."

"No."

The one word shattered Cody. "What?"

Louisa countered with a question of her own. "Are we going to the army camp?"

"Of course not," Cody replied. "'I'm taking you to your aunt in New York. She'll take better care of you." The last words were said with a sneer.

Louisa shook her head. "You're still passing on your responsibilities to other people."

"I'm making sure you're fine while I'm doing my job," he reasoned in a tone used to instruct children.

"If it's all right with Kid and Lou, I'd rather stay here."

"What? With Kid's murdering father on the loose?" he blurted out incredulously. No sooner had he finished his sentence when he found himself slammed into the wall, with Buck's fist crushing his shirtfront.

"You've said a lot of stupid things tonight, Cody, but that last one really tested my patience. As you can see I failed," Buck hissed as he pressed his fingers down Cody's windpipe. 

"Get off me, you--" Cody struggled to breathe.

"Savage? Red skin? Heathen? Take your pick, Billy." Buck wanted to smash Cody's face and he knew it wasn't entirely because of Cody's earlier taunts. The agony in Louisa's face when she realized she was being abandoned by her husband again had ripped through his heart. Part of him cheered because she stood up against Cody, another part worried about her safety but an even bigger part wondered how his heart would take her continued presence. Buck tensed when he felt her gentle touch on his arm. He suddenly let Cody go and walked away, avoiding Louisa's gaze as he passed by her. 

Cody rubbed his bruised throat and faced his wife. He coldly said, "Stay then. You'll come running to me soon enough."

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