Part Two

The goblin slid closer to Giles trying to stay in the shaded part of the seat. "I hate this... can't this piece of shit car go any faster? Where is this sonny bitchin' lair, halfway hell and gone to bum fuck Egypt?"

Rupert elbowed her away and wrinkled his nose. "Move over. Do you realize how badly you stink? Lord, how long have you been in those clothes?"

"Well, excuuuuse me. Maybe if all my money and clothes and shit hadn't went up in smoke..."

"Tisk-tisk... well, I suppose I could loan you a change."

"Okay numb nuts, what's the deal? First you talk your girl-friend into..."

Again an elbow made contact with Kimmie's ribcage. "She's not my girl-friend... and you can call me Giles, not a proper form of address - but it is preferable to your 'colorful' phrasing. And while we're on that subject - clean up your language."

With a sneer, a shake of the head and in a sarcastic tone, the goblin began her question again. "So first you talk the Slayer's mommy into feeding me; then you drive me to a lair - if you can call this driving, hell, - Oh I mean 'heeeck' - you want me to get out and push? It would..."

"No I want you to try to hold a thought for more than fifteen seconds. Are you capable of that?" Giles snapped.

"Okay Comrade, condensed version: Why the food, shelter and clothes? Is this 'adopt-a-goblin' week?"

Rupert turned onto his street. "It is not charity, you will work for your room and board."

"I'm listening, lay it out."

"You will assist us as an informant or in any other capability we deem necessary. But if I ever get the slightest inkling that you have betrayed us you will wish you had died in that warehouse."

"What's option two?"

"You leave town and never return, for if you do, again I can guarantee your demise."

"How about option three?"

"There is no option three." Kimmie was silent as Giles pulled up in front of his flat and turned off the engine. "Well? Do we go in so you can clean up and change, or do I drop you off at the city limits?"

"Human, you drive a hard bargain. Who trained you, La Cosa Nostra? Heh, heh, heh... That reminds me, here's an oldie but goodie - Question: How many pallbearers do you need for a mob funeral? Answer: Just one guy to slam the trunk. Heh... heh..."

"Humorous..." Giles said without a trace of a smile. "So which is it, are you staying or going?"

"Staying. I took orders from humans for twenty-five years at Sunnydale Graphics, so S.S.D.D. You're no bigger of a pain in the ass than they were."

"S.S.D.D? I'm afraid to ask..."

"Same Shit, Different Day."

Rupert rubbed his brow and let out a sigh before he pointed toward the apartment complex. "Middle door... go."

Upon entering the flat Kimmie immediately began to pick up and examine any item within reach. Giles took hold of her collar and positioned the goblin in the middle of the room. "STAY!" He growled as he pointed to the spot where he had taken her.

"Woof..." It quipped before it launched into a not-half-bad dog impersonation.

Rupert headed for the kitchen, pausing halfway there to glance back at the goblin who was clicking its teeth up and down its arm chasing an imaginary flea. At least he hoped it was imaginary. He paused for a second to consider exactly what kind of parasites might live on a goblin. "I do not want to know..." He muttered and then continued on to the kitchen.

As soon as he turned again Kimmie strolled over to the coffee table and began to poke around in his paperwork. Giles returned less than ten seconds later carrying a paper sack. He snatched his calculator back out of her hand as she shuffled around the bills which he had been working on when Joyce had called.

"You owe VISA almost a grand?" It laughed as it read the statement. "And you're only paying the minimum? Sssshit you'll never.."

"PUT THAT DOWN! My finances are none of your bloody business! Get upstairs." Rupert grabbed the goblin by the shoulder and gave it a not to gentle shove toward the stairway.

"Just trying to help, so what did you charge down at the hoo-doo store? $87.38? That's a lot... hey what's in there?" While passing the weapons chest it flipped it open and stopped to examine the contents. "Hey, crossbow, bitchin' knife, nice sword... and I thought you were just a firebug."

"Yes, it is a splendid sword, and you are very close to finding out how sharp it is." Giles slammed the lid shut on the goblin's fingers and smiled as he watched it do the "ouchie dance" up the stairway. He followed it upstairs and pointed toward the bedroom and bathroom. "I will get you a change of clothes and then I want you to shower. If you are going to fit in you must look somewhat presentable. Cleaned up, and your shoes on the correct feet, for God's sake."

Kimmie quit waving her smashed fingers in the air and gave the human a sour stare. "This isn't turning into some remake of 'My Fair Lady'?" 'Cause if you're planning on making me talk stupid, I'm out'ta here."

"I believe it's more akin to 'Mission Impossible'. Now come along."

Rupert yanked a pullover out of his closet and added it to the pile draped over his arm. Offering the clothing to Kimmie he told her. "You have ten minutes to clean up and get changed. Toss what you're wearing into this bag and put it in the hall so I can throw it in the dumpster."

The goblin eyed the brown pullover with disdain. "Where'd you get this - 'Potato Sacks R Us'?"

"Take it or leave it."

"There it was again...." Giles thought as the goblin took the clothes and headed for the bathroom. "...a purple color in the eyes. That is not right." He waited outside the door until he heard the shower running and then entered to collect the cast off clothing. "Why did I even ask?" He muttered as he saw the clothes laying scattered beside the unopened bag.

The shower curtain jerked back. "'Ya joining me?"

"I would rather have dental surgery." Giles responded dryly.

Out of the corner of his eye he took note of the obscene gesture and.. "What is that mark on your arm?" he asked.

"Never get shitfaced a block from the tattoo parlor. Just a helpful hint from your Aunt Kimmie." She answered as she quickly withdrew her arm and snapped the curtain closed.

Giles stooped, packed up the dirty clothes and left the bathroom. "What in the hell was that? Appeared to be Cyrillic letter forms intertwined with a pine boughs." He said outloud as he descended the stairs and went to the kitchen. There he picked her flannel shirt out of the bag and examined it until he found a couple of hairs lodged in the weave. A 'Ripper' grin crossed his face he picked the hairs off and put them into a plastic baggie. "Got you! Now we shall be able to see your true colors."

"Ten minutes are gone!" Rupert shouted as he rapped on the door. The shower was still running full force and he was not in the mood to wrestle a wet naked goblin out of his apartment. As he raised his hand to beat on the door a second time it flew open and Kimmie swept past him and down the stairs.

"Blasted goblin!" The bathroom was in total disarray, the shower left on so the water sprayed onto the floor, medicine cabinet rooted through, hamper deliberately dumped. "Bitch!" Rupert snarled as he slipped across the linoleum to turn off the water. While kicking the contents of the hamper around the floor to soak up the water he heard the sound of his weapons chest bang shut and two seconds later the slam of the front door following suit. Giles whirled around and stumbled over the soggy towels and clothes, falling face first into the hall. Regaining his footing he took the stairs two at time and flew through the living room and out into the yard.

"Blast it all to....." He hissed through clenched teeth as he surveyed the empty yard. Giles trotted out to the street to get a better vantage point - nothing. "Where in the hell did it go?" He made a fist and pounded it into his palm as he turned in a slow circle scanning the area. Not a sign of it. With a foul curse he returned to his flat, not noticing the raven which was preening in a tree across the street.

The bird watched the man re-enter the flat and with a blink of its purple eyes it flew away.

******

Joyce pulled up behind Rupert's car and gave the horn a quick honk to get his attention. Giles came off the porch, quickly crossed the Summer's yard and got into her vehicle before Joyce even had a chance to collect her purse and packages from the seat. "Almost forty dollars for that thread and oak leaves down at that shop! I never knew witchcraft supplies were so expensive..." Joyce went silent as she saw the expression on Rupert's face. A look which told her that something bad had happened. "What's wrong? Has something happened to Buffy? Oh God, no!"

"No, no... not Buffy. Aaahhh... Joyce, the goblin got away."

Joyce laid her forehead on the steering wheel and gritted her teeth. "How?"

"It created a diversion and I fell for it, literally and figuratively. I am so sorry..."

"Don't worry about it."

"But I am worried. I do not trust this creature." Giles shook his head and got a pained expression. "And the more I think about it, the more I believe we should have disposed of it this afternoon."

"Why do you say that?"

"I, I... just have some suspicions."

Joyce's voice got an edge to it. "Mr. Giles, do not hold out on me. Maybe I should remind you that thanks to you and that damned Council I spent two years in the dark while my daughter went out every night to fight things that belong in hell. And I have spent the last year..."

"Please Joyce, I am just not sure, so don't worry about it.." Giles interrupted while placing a hand on her arm.

Joyce's face went dark as she pulled her arm away from his touch and her anger spilled over into her voice. "Don't patronize me! I am tired of this.. this everything going on behind my back! Tired of others deciding what I should or should not know. Damn you, damn Sunnydale, damn that damned goblin, damn the..."

Giles slapped the dashboard and got out of the car. He then leaned back in toward Joyce and snapped. "Very well, if you must know - I don't think it's a damned goblin... I think it's a damned shape-shifter or demon! And if you want more information, follow me to the damn library and help with the research! Please, join the club! We have such a jolly good time."

Joyce sat fuming in her seat as Giles slammed the door and went to his car. "Ooooo that man!" She spit. "So I wonder what I am suppose to do with this crap?" She picked up the bag of leaves and thread and got out of the car waving the sack to catch Rupert's attention. As she walked up to his driver's window she swung the sack past his ear. "Should I go ahead and do this, or go get my money back?"

Rupert glanced out the car window at Joyce who was standing there tapping her foot. "You cannot take it back, all the shops of that nature have a 'no refund' policy."

This information did nothing to improve Joyce's humor. She pursed her lips so tightly that they almost disappeared. "So I'm stuck with this sh... stuff. Fine.... anything I should know about preparing it? I'm just a little fuzzy on the details. Sorry, Mr. Giles but I took papermaking as the art elective back in college since the witchcraft course was - oh darn it - filled."

The sarcasm in the statement went right over Rupert's head. He turned fully in his seat and gave her an astounded look. "Papermaking? I haven't done that for years. Took a course in it, aahh... about fourteen years ago. It was just on a lark. Did you ever try putting dried moss into the pulp mixture? It gives the paper a lovely green shade and the moss itself swirls into a breathtaking random pattern across the sheet... One lady in the class used pansy petals....."

Joyce rolled her eyes skyward as Rupert arced onto his tangent. By the time he hit the "random swirling moss" she could not help but laugh out loud. "Rupert?" She interrupted.

"Yes?"

"Back to witchcraft. Do I have to tie this thread in any special knot or a certain number of times or chant anything spooky?"

"Oh..." Giles turned back into his seat, embarrassed that he had been so dense. "... Yes, or no... no, aahh - nothing 'spooky'. Just use a few inches of thread and an overhand knot around the stem and place it at all possible entryways to your home. Don't forget things like fireplaces and drains." Rupert squirmed a bit in his seat. "I'm sorry I raised my voice to you. Please accept my apologies."

"That's okay, we're.. we're both a little on edge. Anyway, I'm the one that started yelling." Joyce bit her lip and looked away. "Maybe when this is all over we can, aahh... have some coffee... somewhere.. sometime and talk. It would be good if we... had a talk." Giles nodded in a mechanical fashion as he stared straight ahead and coughed to clear his throat. "Y-y-ess, that would be a good idea. We do have some things to... 'talk' about." They both took a quick guilty glance at each other and did a 180 backpedal from where the conversation was heading.

"So, are you joining us at the library?"

"Yes! I should be able to get these leaves out before sunset and then be right over."

"Very good plan. Aaahhh... I will see you in an hour or so."

As he watched Joyce go toward the house Rupert sat back in the seat and exhaled loudly. "Moss and pansies... Giles you are an idiot." He mumbled to himself.

As she opened the front door Joyce turned and gave him a small wave good-bye and an 'okay' motion. Giles returned the sign and headed for the library.

******

"I can see her lying back in her satin dress in a room where you do what you don't confess. Sundown you better take care if I find you've been creeping 'round my back stairs. Sundown you better take care if I find you've been creeping 'round my back stairs..."

"She's been looking like a queen in a sailor's dream and she don't always say what she really means..." Kimmie strolled through the sewer tunnel swinging a McDonald's bag and singing an old Gordon Lightfoot tune. Not even missing a word the goblin bent down and poked the dead woman's arm with her index finger. "...Sometimes I think it's a shame when I get feeling better when I'm feeling no pain. Sometimes I think it's a shame when I get feeling better when I'm feeling no pain...."

"Go ahead, I'm finished with her. But watch out, her blood alcohol was off the chart. I still got a buzz on from it."

Kimmie straightened up and held the bag out toward Adam as he came out of the shadows. "Naa, I got some good stuff out of the 'Micky-Dee's' dumpster, you wouldn't believe what people pay for and then pitch. Anyway, she's cold." The goblin sat down on a pile of rubble and opened the sack. "If she was still warm I might make a sandwich."

Adam crossed his arms and tried to look pissed. "I see how you are. I try to be nice and share... Hey! Was that a Big Mac?"

"Umm.. Huh, huh.." Kimmie answered through the food stuffed in her mouth.

"That's one thing I miss, Big Macs, and pizza. Man! We had this local place called Cassano's... great pizza. All my buddies worked there - except the ones that worked at Taco Bell."

Kimmie smacked her lips and peered back into the tunnel. "Where are the others?"

"And those dudes that worked at Taco Bell, when I'd go in they would fix me a burrito that weighed about..."

"YO! Where are the others?" Kimmie repeated, jarring Adam back to the present.

"Aaaa, there ain't anybody else."

"Why the hell not? You told me that you could get a cadre together. "

Adam walked over to the goblin and stood beside her. "Hey, I tried! And for your information, I nearly got dusted by the Slayer chick. Was over at the park talking to Sprauer and all of a sudden - WHAM! BAM! thank you ma'am, she came out'ta nowhere and nailed his ass."

"So... frikkin'... what? And you don't even want to tell me that you just ran back here with you tail between your legs. Catch a clue shithead, - we got'ta have a couple of more bodies to pull this off.... did you at least sire this 'ho'?"

"Hell no! I don't have time to fuck around with a 'newbie'." Adam morphed to his game face and knocked the sack out of the goblin's hand scattering the contents across the floor. And you better be the one to 'catch a clue' because nobody's into suicide at the moment. The Slayer has been kicking ass and taking names and everybody else is hooked up with some city hall dipshit and.."

"Like I give a rat's ass why you fucked up." Kimmie picked up a fry and gave it a toss toward the dead woman. "I see you had enough time to pick up a damn cheap date, but not enough time to do what I told 'ya to do."

"Quit your bitchin', we'll get around it. You got that lady over to that burned out lair? Right? That's half the battle. Right?"

Kimmie blinked a few times stood, and brushed herself off. "Aaaa, not exactly. Got her talking to me, but before I could lure her over there, all nice and quiet - her kid showed up with a witch. Then they called the Watcher guy in. It went kinda hinkey from that point on."

"Oh, I get it! I 'fucked up', but things just went 'hinkey' on you." Adam hissed as he went literally nose to nose with the goblin. "So now what'ta we do? Got anymore great ideas?"

"Yeah, a real good one - get the hell out of my face." Kimmie snapped, giving Adam a push. "I'm getting real damn fed up with..."

The vampire raised his hands and wiggled his fingers in a 'come here' motion. "Wanna fight? Bring it on..."

"Like I said, I'm getting real fed up, so back off. You don't even want to go there..." Kimmie warned, then her voice went to a deep baritone. "...take my word for it."

Adam straightened up and stared as a cold stab of fear went through him. As she had made her threat her eyes had glowed with a purple light and for a split second the vision of a burning fir tree had appeared when she spoke. The vampire took a couple of steps back. "What the hell was that?"

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you - I love that line. So let's just take a little walk."

"Where to?" Adam asked with more than a bit of apprehension. Her voice had went back to normal, but that glow had not faded.

Kimmie relaxed her stance and shook her head a few times as the purple light faded from her eyes. "Hell, we can get to Willy's Bar via underground from this tunnel. Let's go over there, have a drink and regroup."

The kid circled even further away, whatever that was that had reveled itself had given him the big-time heebie-jeebies. He took a long moment to think and then decided 'what the hell...' it would be better to be allied with it than have it pissed off at him. So it was a demon - so what? Couldn't be any worse than the ones he had worked with at Sunnydale Graphics.

"So? We staying here with the stiff or going to Willy's?" Kimmie asked in response to his hesitation.

"Yeah, good idea. We got a little over an hour to kill before sunset." Adam said as he started slowly down the tunnel. "Hope Willy doesn't give me any shit about looking underage. That pisses me off."

As the "goblin" caught up with Adam she gave him a slap on the back. "I'll vouch for you. Not you're fault you got turned two weeks before you hit nineteen. Look on the bright side... forever young."

Then with a thumbs up sign she continued on into the gloom.

Adam stopped and let out a long whistling exhale. "Rock and roll..." he muttered, then he followed Kimmie deeper underground.