Disclaimer: All characters belong to those who created them...we aren't stealing them...just borrowing for a while

Incoming Messege from Kimberly:
Yeah! We gotta hurry up and get our hostess back because we're almost out of those stuffed tomatos and the crab thingies are long gone. And I just took the last beer and mini quiche...

--Kimberly

Returning Message from Tamara:
Hey.....hey!?? I heard that! Look....I'm stuck in cyberhell...and all you can do is think of stuffed tomatos, and crab thingies?! What about the Escargot? No one touched those! Guys? Guys?! Hello? Anyone...there?...

--Tamara

Reply from Kimberly:
Where's the escargot? You got any garlic butter to go with it? Oooooo! And those fancy skinny little forks to eat it with?

Oh crap! There they are. Looks like the hellhound got to them. You must have knocked them off the table while singing Hello My Baby.

So how are things in cyberspace? Heh.. heh... heh..

THWACK!
THWACK!!
THWACK!!! THWACKITY!!! THWACK!!!

Ouchies... hey I didn't send you there. I just mentioned that you better hurry back 'cause we're running out of stuff and you have the key to the walk in cooler...

THWACK!
THWACK!!
THWACK!!! THWACKITY!!! THWACK!!!

NOT ON THE HEAD! NOT ON THE HEAD!... ouchies.... made me spill my beer... (Duck & jump back) Missed me!

Well hurry back to the party. (Kim still rubbing head.) I think they're sending someone after you. But if you don't get out anytime soon, and you've got the time on your hands, think you could find that site with the.... (Kim rubs head some more) Ahhh, never mind. Just hurry back now 'ya hear?

--Kimberly

Mary Ann:
Suddenly, Mary Ann clutches her short red hair and cries out in pain. "Oh! Oh! It hurts!! I can hear Tamara crying in cyberspace! She's lost and alone and it's spooky and frightening!"

Mary Ann crouches, moaning, eyes rolling back in her head. As Oliver bends over her, she suddenly speaks in Tamara's voice. . . "...oh, no....ahhhhh!!!!! Please! Please! Tell them to Hurry!!!!"

Mary Ann collapses (with a total lack of dignity and grace, it must be said) to the floor, unconscious.

Kimberly:
Kimberly crept to the back of the room and took the last beer out of the cooler. She peered over he bifocals, which she knew would do nothing but send the room completely out of focus, but since it's her only idiosyncrasy she did it anyway.

Wesley strolled over and looked in the cooler. "What in tarnation happened to all the brew?"

"This was the last one, but sit yourself down her pardner and I'll split it with you." Kimberly said with a grin.

"That's might neighborly of ya." Cowboy Wes said with a ten gallon grin."Now who's those hombres that just moseyed on in?"

Handing him the brew Kimberly settled back against the wall. "Don't haven't a clue.. so why don't we sit here and lurk for awhile."

Tamara:
note to all: pitcure this in black and white

Narration:
It was 1944, and the world was going insane. But through all the death and destruction that was WW2, one thing made it all worth while...the music. The band was swinging tonight, and so was I, dancing across the floor, like tommorrow would never come. And it might not, if Hitler got his way. Suddenly my date vanished and was replaced by a stunningly handsome man with a dark ponny tail.

"Mmm..." I cooed, at my new partner, "I don't know who you are, but you're avast improvement to the other stiff. What's your name?"

"Duncan," was his reply, as he swung me around the wood floor. God, he could dance!

"So, Duncan," I smiled, "What's a virile man like you doing so far away from the war? Not that I'm complaining..."

The music changed tempo, as "Moonlight Serinade" began to play, "Well," he said, holding me scandilously close to him, "Actually, I'm here for you."

"Ooo..." I wiggled, "Now, I musta died and gone to heaven. Or is that a pick up line?"

"No line," he grinned, "Just the truth."

I frowned, suddenly getting a flash of a face I though I knew, "Oliver?" I said, softly. Then looking right into Duncan's blue eyes, I added, "There is no truth, only what we make it to be."As we moved across the dance floor, Duncan whispered in my ear, "I know who you really are, and I'm here to take you home. Do you want to go home?"

"Yes," I whispered back.His lips met mine and...

"Damn!" Duncan hissed, pulling off the visor, "It figures her lips are the exit!"

"You kissed her!" Oliver hissed, grabbing Duncan out of the chair.

"Oliver, please," Sidney pleaded, taking hold of his arm, "This isn't going to get her back," Then turning to Duncan, she asked, "What were you two doing?"

"Dancing," her childhood friend sighed, "what else would we be doing? I mean, you're the one who programed the 1940's."

"Just be glad that you didn't end up on the front line," Samantha, Sidney's twin, quipped.

"So, now what do we do?" Oliver asked, concern masked his face.

Sidney grabbed a VR visor and shrugged, "We go back in."

Kimberly:
"I think we better help that little filly over there. She looks like she's ailing." Wesley dwawled as he got up.

Even as she lay unconscious on the floor Mary Ann was still hearing Tamara calling from cyberspace. Then another voice came through the fog pulling her back to reality. (Or as real as it gets at one of Tam's parties.)

She opened her eyes and saw everyone gathered around her looking very concerned. "Now she's saying somthing about escargot." MaryAnn murmured. "Oh my! She must be trapped on the French end of the web.!"

Wes knelt beside her. "Now don't worry your pretty little head ma'am." He held out a glass of punch. "Here.. now you drink this down."

The fruity punch tasted pretty good. Hummmm... this glass had a bit of azing that Mary Ann had not noticed before. Then a vision popped into her mind. "Oooo he's cute! And they're dancing."

"Huh?" Everyone said in unison.

Mary Ann shook her head. "I think... I'm not sure..." She batted her eyes at Wes. "Now where are you from, stranger?"

"So 'you 'ens know how to get that sweet thing out of that there machine?" Wes hollored over to the group at the computer. "I do think that somet'ing just ain't natural over here either."

"We're working on it!" Oliver snapped then to the others at the computer. "So, now what do we do?"

"Fine as frog hair. Now someone want to help me get this 'un up on her hind legs?"

Wes and Ferris helped Mary Ann up and over to the bandstand. "Well thank 'ya kindly." She said with another bat of the eyes. She handed Kimberly her punch glass. "Would you mind? I could use another libation.. my throat's kind of parched."

Kimberly shrugged and went to the punchbowl to refill Mary Ann's cup, and one for herself.

Kim W:
Tamara glanced around the nearly empty bar and sighed. Where was everyone? The man who had just been kissing her had done a fizzle and disappeared, and the few patrons left were looking too drunk to be of any use. Her last very clear thought, before the dance of a few moments ago, was opening the box of chocolates from Mayor Wilkins.

Obviously something had been in the candy. Giving up on the bar, she strolled outside into the night air. The street was busy with an evening rush, and a trolley car fastened to wires overhead pulled to a stop near her. Two women got out and, as they passed Tamara, she heard the one say, "Charlie's just been made a sergeant in his unit and he may get sent to Pearl Harbor. I wish this war would end and he could come home. We were supposed to get married last summer."

"Never mind, Celeste," said her friend. "It'll be all right. Come on, let's go to Kresgies. They have a new lipstick shade. Pure red. It's so wicked!"

Laughing, the two women hurried across the street. Tamara watched them go wistfully. Imagine living someplace where the wickedest thing was a particular shade of lipstick. She caught herself. If someone didn't rescue her, she may indeed find herself living in such a place. The thought bothered her. Surely, there was much more she could do than wait. As she continued down the street, one shop in particular caught her eye. It looked cross between a hardware store and an antique shop. In the window was a certain item she recognized, and one as far out of its time as she was out of hers. Something that shouldn't have been invented yet. And it was here, two feet in front of her.

"This I can use!" she said to herself, and a happy smile went across her face. She opened the door and the bell over top of it signaled her entrance to the storekeeper.

Tamara:
"Can I help you?" I hear from behind the counter.

I turn around and gasp. The "man" behind the counter, was not...er well, he wasn't human. I stand there for a few minutes wondering what's going on.

"Um...well...I was just, er, ah...looking?" I say, staring at the pale grey face, and ridges around his eyes.

"Well," he smiles, picking up some fabric, "If you need anything, just let me know."

"Can you see her?" Oliver asks Mary Ann, who is now sitting in a comfy chair.

"I...I see her in a tailor's shop," Mary Ann squints, as though she is trying to see through the haze, "But it's no tailor shop I've ever seen. And the owner..."

"The owner?" Donna askes, "What about the owner?"

"He's not..."

"What?" Kimberly prods.

"He's not..."

Mary M. sighs, "Yes, yes...we've been through this line before. He's not what?"

"Human!" Mary Ann colapses again.

"Well, now," Cowboy Wesley says, chewing on some cyber tobacco, "if that aint strange. Aint human? What in tarnation is she talkin' about?"

Kim shakes her head, "I wish I knew. I can only hope that Sidney, Samantha and Duncan can find her, and bring her back soon...this party isn't the same without her."

"Yeah," Donna agrees, "I mean, look at Baby...he seems so depressed."

They all look at Tamara's Hellhound, who is lying on the floor sighing pitifully. He has bows all in his hair...thanks, once again to Dot, who thought it might cheer him up. He doesn't even notice.

"Aw," Dot sighs, "Poor puppy's sad. We should cheer him up!"

"Yeah," Wacko agrees, "he needs a friend."

"I know just who..." Yacko says.

A moment later there is a knock at the door. All eyes turn to the Warner Brother skipping to answer it. He opens the door to a pack of snarling Hounds.

"Oh, great!" Oliver sighes, sarcasticaly, "That'll help."

I walk around the shop, browsing through the strange clothing, when I hear a soft British voice from behind.

"Hello," he says, "You're new here. When did you come to the station?"

"Station?" I ask, staring into his handsome, dark face, and his "drop dead gorgeous" brown eyes.

"Yes," he says, extending his hand, "Deep Space Nine. My name is Jullian Bashir...I'm the station's Doctor. And you are?"

"Your's."

It's strange how everything seems so real here. I mean, I know I'm in a computer...in virtual reality, so to speak...but still, I can almost smell the food from the shops on the Promenade, as Julian and I stroll down to the infirmery.

"So," he asks, cheerfully, "How long have you been on the station?"

"Well," I say truthfully, "I'm not sure. I mean, I know I just got here...but I don't remember where I came from, or how I got here. It's almost like my life is a blur."

"Mmmm," he says thoughtfully, "Perhaps it's something biological. I could run a few scans to see..."

"Scans?" I say, a bit nervously, "I'm I feel fine really...I mean, I'm not too keen on being poked and prodded."

"It won't hurt, I swear," he smiles, "Well, here we are."

He leads me into the infirmery, all too willing to make me his guinia pig, when we both stop short in our tracks. The Sick Bay had become...

"The Sunnydale Library?" I shake my head.

"W-were are we?" Julian asks, looking around, quite confused.

I gingerly walk around the almost familiar surroundings, and sigh, "The Sunnydale High School Library. And were there is the library, there has to be..."

Mary M.:
Tamara looks at the red-headed girl blankly."Willow? Where's Giles?"

Willow looks at Tamara blankly. "Do I know you?"

Julian looks at Tamara."You know this girl?"

Tamara shook her head. "Not exactly. I know her rep. And she can probably get us out of this mess, I think. Is Giles here?"

Willow shook her head."No, he's at-"

Just then a loud crash was heard.

"Mary M., can you get something for us to eat?" asks Donna as she shakes her head."I think Tamara left some appetizers in the fridge for us."

I shrug. "Sure. Why not? Food, email and books I can handle. Cyberspace makes me my head spin."

"Books?" Duncan's head perks up as he looks atme."You can handle books? And food?"

Oliver turns to glare at the boy."Not now, Duncan. Tamara is still lost in cyberspace."

Duncan shrugs."Syd and Sam are better at this than I am, Oliver. So you know alot about books? And food?"

I nod."Yep. I be a librarian. The food part not so well."

Duncan grinned as he follows me into the kitchen."I can hand the food part. So how long have you been-"

"Hello, love," Adam says as he enters the kitchen looking slightly rumpled. "Who's this?"

I look at him and sigh. "Hello, Adam. This is Duncan, one of Oliver's friends. And how long have I been what?"

"A librarian? Do you like catalog stuff and things like that? AND read?"

I grinned. "Donna's the cataloger. I just put bandages on a small library trying to keep it afloat."

"And she does it very well,"Adam says as he stands up to me.

I ignore him as I start to take things out from the fridge."So how long have you been doing the whatever you do with Sydney and Sam?"

Duncan grinned."On and off, about five years now. And we really have some hairy moments whenever we travel in cyberspace."

"Sounds like a load of fun." I said.

"Sounds like a load of crock," Adam mutters. I look at him."What? Doing magic tricks are more fun. They dazzle the mind, create a world-"

"Kinda like cyberspace," I said as I beamed a smile at Duncan. "And you really should wipe that lipstick off your chin, Adam. Brick Red really isn't your color."

Mary Ann comes in."Mary? We got trouble."

Tamara:
Mary Ann looks around nervously at the groups. She sees the Warner siblings trying to make friends with the other Hell Hounds that are crouching around Baby, and shakes her head. Sydney and Samantha are hooked up to the computer, with those damn weird looking visors on their heads, while Duncan and Oliver are still trying to figure out how to get Tamara out of cyberspace.

Donna, Micheal, Kim W. and cowboy Wesley comes over from the punch bowl to see what the commotion is about. They are joined by Cathryn, Sandy and Ferris, who can't wait to get this party kick started again.

"So," Mary M. asks, grabbing Adam's arm, "What's wrong now?"

"I'm getting really weird vibes," Mary Ann says, "I'm not sure we can find her."

"What do you mean we can find her?" Oliver asks, panic begining to rise, "What's going on now?!"

Just at that moment, both Sam and Syd pulled off their VR visors and shook their heads, "Damn!" Sydney hissed, "We were so close. Tamara somehow landed in DS9 fanfiction. We managaed to follow her there, but before we could reach her...she vanished."

"Vanished?!" all say.

"Vanished," Sam repeats.

"She's somewhere else," Sydney says, "Somewhere in another fanfiction section of the internet."

"Great," Oliver growls, looking at Mary M., the one who created this mess they were in, "So, what do we do now?"

"Oooo..." Kimberly shouts, "I've got it!"

"What?!" is said in unison.

"Oh, no," she lowers her head, "That won't work. I would need rollerblades, an alligator and gatorade."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

"So," Kim W. says, looking at Kimberly as though she had lost her mind, "What do we do?"

"Well," Sidney says, "Sam and I can go back in, and try to find her again..."

"But..." Mary Ann interups, "I know where she is."

"You do?!" All say.

"Yes," she nods.

"Well now, little lady," Cowboy Wes drawls, "you gonna tell us, or are we gonna hafta guess?"

Mary Ann takes a deep breath and says, "She's in Sunnydale....in the fanfiction Sunnydale....in a not-nice-fanfiction-Sunnydale."

"Oh, boy."

I pace around the Library wondering how we were going to get out of the mess we were now, so deep in.

Julian Bashir, looks at me pace, walks over to me, and grabs me by my arms, "You're wearing a hole in the floor." he says.

"I know, I know," I moan, "But I've been stuck in cyber hell now for over a week...or at least I think it's a week...I can't tell anymore."

"What ARE you talking about?" he askes, "Cyber...what?"

"Cyber..." I stop, suddenly realizing what he meant, "You think this is real, don't you?"

"And you don't?" he asks, "All I know is, I was fine and happy on the station...you show up...and now I'm somehow here. Did you transport us to this place, or is this some kind of strang holosuite program?"

"This isn't a holosuite program," I try to explain, "And this isn't even real," I gently pat him on the arm, "I hate to break the news to you...but you're not real. You are just a figment of someone's imagination..."

"Figment of the imag...look, I feel pretty real to me!"

I sigh. This is getting me no where. I have to figure out a way to get out of cyberspace and back to the party...or real life...which ever comes first. But how? Julian explored the library, looking for the off switch...or something to tell him that I was nuts and he was in a holosuite...

"Wait!" I exclaim, "That's it! We are in a program! So all we have to do is get someone to write us out of it!" I turn to Willow and ask, "Willow, can I use your computer?"

"Sure...why?"

"I have to send an email," I sat at the keyboard and connected to hotmail, "Okay, now to send it to the RTW list..."

"The WHAT list?" Julian says, placing his hands on his head, "You are insane...aren't you? How is sending an e-mail out to a list going to help us get out of here?"

"You'll see," I say, as I begin to type...
GUYS! I'VE FIGURED IT OUT! WE HAVE TO CHANGE THE PROGRAM OF THE STORY WE ARE IN. I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE HOW...BUT I KNOW YOU ALL CAN FIGURE IT OUT...BEFORE I'M STUCK IN HERE FOREVER. PLEASE, DON'T ABANDON ME...I'M HERE...I REALLY AM. AND I NEED HELP!
TAMARA
"Now," I say, "We wait."

"Ah," Willow says, pointing to the doors at a group of vampires, "and RUN!"

"Oh, great!" I cry out as we race to the hidden passege in the stacks, "Who writes this stuff!?"

Kimberly:
"Change the program?" Duncan asked as he read Tam's plea. "What's she mean by that?"

"Well she used all caps.... so I guess she's serious." Donna observed.

Mary Ann buried her face into Oliver's chest. "Oh my! now she's getting chased by a pack of vampires." She gave a ladylike whimper. "And Rupert is nowhere in sight!" Then a not too lady like whimper. "And it's my fault."

Oliver patted her on the arm. "No it's not your fault. Why do you say that?"

"Because he can't get out of that pink fuzzy bathrobe and come help!" She whailed. "Now sir, excuse me while I collaspe into your arms."

"Hummm, Tam and I do have him in Daytona." Kimberly pointed out. "Anybody else doing anything with him at the moment?"

Mary M. shrugged. "I haven't done anything with him since the Weird Al Yankovic concert."

Yacko, Wacko and Dot took the cue and accompanyed by the baying be-ribboned hellhound in a Darth Vader helmet began to sing."We were singin'... My my, this here Anakin guy, may be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry. And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi."

"Shut them up." Oliver muttered as he lowered Mary Ann back into her chair. "This will be solved with technology."

Suddenly dressed in neon hued "clean suits" the animanics began to circle the computer. "It's all about the Pentiums, baby Uhh, uh-huh,yeah Uhh, uh-huh, yeah!"

Oliver looked heavenward and growled. "Can this get any worse?"

Everybody joined in. "What y'all wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers? Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers? 9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard? Workin' at a desk with a dumb little placard? Yeah, payin' the bills with my mad programming skills, defraggin' my hard drive for thrills I got me a hundred giga bytes of RAM."

Cathryn and Kim W. each grabbed Oliver by an arm and forced him into a modified cyberline dance. "Come on! Loosen up!"

Oliver looked pained as he pulled away answering his own question. "I had to ask." He stomped across the room toward the animaniacs who were now dancing across the keyboard.

"I never feed trolls and I don't read spam, installed a T1 line in my house always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizouse." Oliver stepped around a magenta and gold suited hellhound and snatched Yacko off the desk."Upgrade my system at least twice a day, I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K!"

Oliver blinked and held Yacko up to eye level. "What did you say?"

The music stopped. With one hand Dot pulled lyric sheets out of the thin air while she waved seriously horn rimmed glasses around with the other. "Aaaa, Upgrade my system at least twice a day, I'm strictly.."

"That's it!!" Oliver shouted. "We upgrade!"

Cathryn:
I'm watching the various odd activity going on around me and trying desperately to remember what little information I gleaned from the two and a half episodes of VR5 I've seen when the doorbell rings.

Nobody even looks up.

That includes Sandy and Ferris, who are engrossed in a boring conversation that I lost interest in a long time ago.

"Don't all strain yourselves, I'll get it," I mutter, walking to the door and hoping it's someone I know, so to speak.

Truth is, I feel kind of out of place, what with the fandoms being introduced that are far beyond my ken and all. On the other hand, it's a nice little break from the weird stress of the past events of the party.

I fling open the door and exclaim, "Giles! Glad you could make it!" I exclaim.

"I'm quite sorry I'm late," Giles apologizes, walking in. "I've been having a few problems with Xander . . ."

Xander? Oh! This must be my Giles, from the White Knight Tarnished verse.

I make a face. "I'm really sorry about all that," I say sincerely.

He gives me an uncomprehending look, which I really should have expected because my characters don't usually know what I'm talking about even under normal conditions, then turns his attention to the other goings-on.

"What . . . ?" he asks blankly after a few moments.

"Tamara's disappeared into cyberspace and the Mayor gave us magickally delicious party treats before he split," I summarize succinctly, if confusingly.

"The M - Mayor . . . ?" Giles stutters blankly, looking disappointed that he missed Tamara.

"It's complicated." I pause. "Really, really complicated. But as soon as people start noticing you're here, I'm sure you'll get more of an explanation than you really need."

Incoming message from Lisa:
Hi guys!

This is Lisa, Tamara's friend. I know I haven't been able to make it to the party yet...I'm finally done recovering from a two week fiction 'War' on the Forever Knight list.

(A War is a very big RTW-type story, and it started about the same time as the Cyber Party.)

And now, I'm in the middle of writing my first Buffy story and I just have to finish this one part. I'll be there as soon as I can.

Save some snacks for me -- especially some crab thingies!

:)TTFN!

--Lisa

Lisa:
"I have to send an email," I sat at the keyboard and connected to hotmail, "Okay, now to send it to the RTW list..."

Lisa stretched as she took a sip of her soda. This was the first Buffy story that she'd ever attempted, and she wanted to make sure she had the characters down right. She wished Tamara was online right now...

Which reminded her...Damn!

She was late for the Cyber Party!

Well, it's not like Tamara wasn't used to her being late. She'd just finish this scene and head out the door. She began typing again:

"Now," I say, "We wait."
"Ah," Willow says, pointing to the doors at a group of vampires, "and RUN!"
"Oh, great!" I cry out as we race to the hidden passage in the stacks, "Who writes this stuff!?"

Disgusted, Lisa hit the 'save' button and leaned back. She hoped that she hadn't written herself into a corner. 'Who writes this stuff!?' Pah! Why in the world had she based this character on Tamara anyway? Surely one of her other friends would have been easier to write. If she kept writing this slowly, this story would never be done in time for Tamara's birthday.

She read over the last few lines. Tamara. Lost in Cyberspace in the story. Sheesh! She'd better pack it in, she had to get to Tamara...and the...CyberParty...

OHMYGOD!!

Maybe Tamara really was stuck in Cyberspace! She had toget to the party to find out. Saving her work to disk again, she shut down the laptop and raced out the door.

Tamara:
Lisa stood at the door for what seemed like hours. She had knocked.

Actually, she had knocked about fifty times, before the door creaked open to reveal a small puppy child.

"Hello," she said with a smile, "Are you here for the party?"

"Ah, well...." Lisa began, not sure why she was being greeted by an animated character, and not her best friend, "yes, I am."

"ID please."

"Scuze me?"

"Let me see some ID, sister," the little girl said, in a business-like manner.

"Look," Lisa tried to explain, "My name is Lisa, I'm Tamara's best friend. I've know her for fourteen years...now will you please let me in."

"Well, I'm Dot and...." she paused, seeing the laptop in Lisa's hand, "Oooo. You have a portable computer thingie! That might help!" She dragged the confussed guest into the main room and made her announcement, "Hey, everyone....we have someone who might be able to get Tamara back."

All eyes turned to Lisa.

Okay, like she didn't now feel like an ameoba under a microscope.

"Wait!" Lisa gasped, "What happened to Tamara?"

Mary M. shifted uncomfortably on her feet, as Kimberly said, "That's a long story...she kinda got sucked into cyberspace, right into a...."

"...Buffy story." Lisa finished. So, this wasn't one of those strange coincedences that followed her everywhere.

"How do you know?" Oliver asked, moving closer to her.

Lisa took out her laptop and set it up. She then popped in the disc containing her ill fated Buffy story. "Read this," she directed to the last paragraph, "I was writing this, and it just seemed too weird. I mean, the thing is too much like Tam."

Oliver stared at the screen and sighed, "So, you're the one writing her in this. Then you can write her out...correct?"

Sitting down at the computer, Lisa shrugged, "Well, I can try. I hope I don't have too much trouble though."

"Why?"

"You could send her to Timbuck Tu," Kim W. chuckled.

"Gosh I hope not..." Wacko said, "I don't even know where that is."

Lisa stretched her fingers and took a deep breath, "Okay, let's do it."

She began to type...

Tamara, Willow and Julian raced out of the hidden passage way, into the night. They knew that the umpires were close behind...

"Umpires?" Mary M. tilted her head.

"Damn...my finger slipped," Lisa hissed.

Willow, Julian and I, run out of the hidden passage way, into the night. The vampires are close behind...

"You're out!"

"Huh?"

I turn around and see three Umpires standing behind us. Umpires?! What the HELL?!

"Keep trying," Oliver encouraged.

"I am, I am."

The three looked around and notice...

"Mary M. and Cathryn..." Dot blurted out.

Mary M. and Cathryn standing by their sides....

"Oh....shit!!!"

We look around and notice....

"What are you two doing here?" I ask Mary and Cathryn.

"I have no idea," Cathryn says.

"Oh no," Mary M. sighs, "She wrote us in too."

"Who?" Julian asks, still trying to argue with the Umpires.

"Lisa," Mary M. explains, "She's the one writing this story.

I put my head in my hands and shudder, "Does she have her laptop?"

"Yes."

"Oh god."

"What?" Mary M asks.

"We're in trouble."

Kimberly:
"Don't let her type anymore!" Oliver roared.

"But we have to! If she stops writing they are stuck for good!" Kim W. countered as she sat down by Lisa. "Okay... type something happy, like they find the door back to the party and live happily every after."

"Got it" Lisa mumbled as she typed: "A sudden magical flush reveled amajestic doorway..."

"Look! A door!" Cathryn yelled.

Mary M. grabbed Julian by the arm and spun him away from the vampire/umpires. "Come on! Let's get out of here!"

As she reached for the doorknob Tamara paused for a second and asked. "Do you guys hear water running?"

The other three shook their heads and 'politely' suggested that Tamara "Hurry the hell up 'cause the vampire/umpires were almost done dusting off the plate!"

She swung the door open....

"OH CRAP!"

The door gave way and a torrent of shimmering blue water poured through.

Lisa squinted at the screen. "Okay here it is: "A sudden magical flash reveled a majestic door which would take them out of cyberspace and back to the place they only dreamed of."

Kimberly adjusted her bifocals. "Ah, you wrote "flush" not flash. Wonder if that means anything?"

"Thank you Lisa." Tamara muttered, drawing her arms tighter around herself.

Cathryn scooted into the middle of the door, her motion causing it to dip to one side.

"Don't rock the door!" Mary M. screamed as she counter balanced. "If we fall in and get soaked we'll freeze."

Julian stared across the dark icy water at a huge ocean liner which layabout a half mile away, its stern rising into the air. "Is that ship sinking?"

"Yup!" Tamara confirmed. "Again, thank you Lisa!"

I grip tightly onto the edge of the door and intone in my best DiCaprio impression - which sucks - "Don't let go."

It flies right over Julian's head. "I wasn't planning to," he replies.

In spite of the situation, Mary M, Tamara, and I giggle.

"Wait a second," Tamara says. "Wasn't Willow here two seconds ago?"

I raise an eyebrow. "We're watching the Titanic sink and that's your biggest worry?"

"Well, you've got her attitude dead-on," Sandy muttered, looking over Lisa's shoulder with everyone else. "At least you're doing something right."

"Shut up," Lisa snapped. "it's not like this is easy."

"You might want to try sending them someplace warm next," Ferris suggested helpfully.

"Great, now they're going to end up in the Ninth Circle," Oliver muttere dunder his breath.

"I heard that!" Lisa cried. "A little support would nice!"

Oliver and Sandy muttered grudging apologies. Satisfied, Lisa returned to her work.

"Someplace warm . . . I know!"

We girls are singing an off-sounding rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" to try and keep warm and Julian looks like he'd edge away from us if it wouldn't throw us off-balance.

Suddenly - just one of those girl things - Tamara and I catch each others' eyes and get the giggles. Big time. Of course, the door tips over, dropping us into -- a barbecue pit? Well, next to it anyway . . .

Tamara:
"Where the hell did you write them into?" Donna looked exasperated at the monitor.

"Well," Lisa defended, trying to type without distraction, "you guys did say 'some place warm'..."

" 'The palm trees swayed gently in the warm breeze, as the four weary travelers looked around'," Oliver began to read, "Well at least they are in a tropical paradise, not over some frozen ocean."

"Yeah, tropical paradise means hunky, tropical guys," Kim W grinned, getting a sharp look from Wesley, who seemed to have been back to his old self.

Oliver thought about that for a minute, then growled, "Write them out of this!"

Lisa rolled her eyes, and shook her head, "Men..."

"...go fig," Dot chimed in, still petting the cowering Hell Hounds.

"Just do it," Oliver pleaded, "I mean, what if this tropical paradise comes equipt with natives..."

"Ooops."

"What?" all chimed.

"Look," Lisa practically shouted, "you guys have to stop talking to me while I'm trying to type!"

"Why?" Ferris asked, leaning over her shoulder, "Oooo....not good."

"What?!"

I look around at the scenery before me. Well, at least we aren't in freezing water anymore. Mmmm....and is that the smell of roast pork?

"Is this paradise or what?" I smile at my companions.

"Or what," Cathryn says, pointing to the several heads, and spears sticking out of the edge of the forest.

I can hear the drums begin to beat, and the voices fill the air.

"A-are those what I think they are?" Julian asks nervously.

"HEAD HUNTERS!" Mary M. shouts, as the four of us take off down the beach.

"LISA!!!!!"