Disclaimer: All characters belong to those who created them...we aren't stealing them...just borrowing for a while

Tamara:
As soon as the music begins to play, we all brace ourselves and start the distraction. The reaction is everything we hope for....and more. The reporters that swarm around the tree, turn to see eight men and women, struting around to Brittany Spears. And their reaction is also quite predictable...They now swarm around us!

Adam is pleasantly relieved when he spots three female reporters, trying to get into the front of the media frenzy, "Now this is more like it, Love," he says to Mary M.

Mary only rolls her eyes, and continues to dance.

Meanwhile, Sandy, the youngest quintillionaire, sneaks over to the tree, and makes a guesture to the man teetering at it's top. The mystery man, sees him, and the distraction we are working so hard to achieve, and begins his descent.

Three minutes later, I catch a glimse of the two men, sneeking back into the party hall.

Sucess!

I casully walk over to the tape player and turn it off, much to the chagrign of the reporters...and Adam Klaus, who was quite enjoing the women reporters ogeling at him.

"Okay ladies and gentlemen of the press," I announce, "show's over. go home!" A chorus of objections, and questions pour over us. "I mean it!" I say firmly, as we walk toward the building, gathing our clothing, "If you don't leave right now...I will concider you all tresspassing, and appropiate measures will be taken."

At that moment, everyone hears a low growl coming from behind me. All eyes turn to the large wolf-like Demon/Hound standing by my side. It's razor sharp claws, clicked on the ground as it began to walk to the, nowretreating, reporters.

"Well," I grin, "I didn't bring 'Hounds', pleural. I brought...'Hound', singular." I call him back to me, and pet him, lovingly on the head, "Besides, he's my baby. I wouldn't dream of traveling the Information Superhighway without him."

"Good idea," Kimberly laughs, petting his head gingerly, "I didn't imagine his hair being so rough."

"I never wrote that into the description?" I ask.

"I don't think so," Kimberly wonders, "but the barbed, forked tail...nice touch."

"Why thank you." I laugh, finishing dressing, "Now, let's see what all this trouble was about..."

Mary M.:
As Tamara and her hellhound lead the way into the house, I saw Oliver ogle at her bottom and rolled my eyes again. From the corner of my eye, I saw Adam in conversation with an intrepid female reporter hiding behind a bush, she handed him something.

"And he wonders why I called him my temporary date," I snort. Then I felt a rolled ball of paper hit me on the head. When I unravelled it, a huge grin lit up my face.

Donna looked at my big smile, and looked puzzled. "Hey, Mary M. Whatcha got?"

As we entered the garden, I smirked at her. "Telephone numbers. Email addresses. For all of us! Three pages worth."

Kim L.'s mouth dropped as just before she shut the door. "You got three pages worth of telephone numbers and email addresses?"

I shook my head as I showed it to her, then started to carefully divy up the papers. "Nope. I got half a page worth. You got half a page, Donna has half a page, Tamara has half a page, Oliver-"

Oliver glares at me. "I don't want to know. Wait a minute, yes I do. I'll find them and make them disappear. Gimme."

I looked at him with wide brown eyes. "You didn't actually get anything except this note. 'Go back to work and stop posturing'. I can ignore it if you can."

Oliver grinned at me. "Sounds like a right idea to me."

I showed her. "We got telephone numbers and emails. Here's yours."

"You got what?!?!?" I turned around to see Adam's incredulous face staring at me.

I sighed."We got telephone numbers and emails."

"You're getting rid of them," he ordered.

I sniffed at that as Donna, Tamara and Kim L. giggled. "No." I said as I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself as I ignored him. "Tamara, it's chilly here. I'm gonna get dressed."

Tamara shrugged. "Use the room in the first left. Sandy took our mystery tree guest to the bathroom. To clean him up."

Adam attempted to grab the piece of paper from me, I merely elbowed him in the stomach. "You are getting rid of those numbers right now."

"No. And behave before I ask Oliver to make you disappear," I scolded as I tucked the paper between my breasts. "Tamara? This HAS to be a cyber towel. It's making my chest look better than it does in real life."

Tamara waved her hand. "All apart of the fun at a Cyberparty."

"Why?" Adam demanded.

I lifted my eyebrow at him. "Because. Now, if you all-oh my! Tamara, I really didn't think that HE was coming!"

Tamara's mouth dropped open as she saw the man next to Sandy. "I didn't think he was either!"

Cathryn:
I grin at the guy standing next to Sandy. "Sheesh, Ferris, isn't this, like, your twelfth day playing hooky?"

Ferris Bueller shakes his head. "No. My tenth one being absent," says, looking completely virtuous, which is an expression that would fool anyone but us. We know him too well.

"Okay," Tamara chuckles. "Fine. Why were you in the tree?"

"Well," Ferris explains, "I am, technically, sick." He pauses to give a very realistic cough. We girls all applaud, and he smirks, then continues, "It just wouldn't be a smart move to get caught by the press on a day off, out of bed and all, what with my debilitating condition."

Mary M laughs. "Ferris. It's us. You can drop it."

"Your tenth day playing sick." Kimberly shakes her head. "Ferris, some day your luck is gonna run out."

"Wait a minute," interrupts Adam, who has been following the conversation in disbelief. "You mean that we did all that to save some kid playing hooky?"

"Not just any kid," Tamara says with a grin, slinging her arm around Ferris, who doesn't look nonplussed in the slightest. "This is Ferris Bueller!"

Adam just shakes his head in disgust and goes into the kitchen. Mary M rolls her eyes at us theatrically and follows him. "We shoulda known," I remark, "that you'd find a way to be here."

Ferris shakes his head with a sigh. "Oh, ye of little faith." Then his eyes fall upon the buffet table. Without a word, he makes a beeline for it. Tamara goes with him, and I can hear him saying to her, "You crimped the edges? I bet that took forever!"

I laugh and turn to Sandy, who had the oddest look on his face. "What'swrong?" I ask.

"He seems so familiar," Sandy muses. "He reminds me of someone, but I can't think who."

"I think it's your imagination," I reply, joining Tamara and Ferris at the table.

Mary M.:
I come out of the kitchen carrying a couple of bottles of Woodpeacker Cider."Better stay out of the kitchen people, Adam's mucho pissed."

Cathryn looks at me puzzled. "Why?"

"He's either sulking because he got naked for some kid that's playing hooky from school or because we refuse to appreciate his manly attributes. But then again it could be that I refuse to give him the telephone numbers we all got," I shrugged.

"Let him be a baby." Donna laughed.

"You're so cruel." I nodded.

"Yes, I am. Now, Ferris, what goodies did you plan to give us for this party?"

Ferris smiled gaminely."I think that I hear my gift knocking on the door."

Cathryn and I look at each other, then at Tamara as she looked at the house with a confused face. "I don't hear any knocking..."

Ferris frowned, then said louder, "I SAID THAT I THINKI HEAR MY GIFT KNCKING ON THE DOOR!!!"

I giggle as Donna, Cathryn and Tamara snicker. Sandy rolls his eyes as Oliver snirks, "Don't you just hatei t when the cue is not observed?" Ferris glares at him. Oliver quirks his eyebrow at him. "Watch it boy. I've made people disappear because they sniffed at me."

Ferris paled as Adam stomped over to us. "Mary, I wasnt to talk to you."

"Bugger off," I said. Then I brought a hand to my ear. "Hark! I hear a knock upon the door!"

The door then knocked and Adam looked at me, confused. "Huh? How'd you do that?"

Ferris rolled his eyes. "She's in the Internet, she can do anything. I'll go see who's at the door."

Tamara giggled.

"You mean that you don't know?" Ferris snorted as he stomped off to answer the door. "For all I know, it could be Robin of the Superfriends or some cool looking Japanese Anime.Given Mary M's standards..."

As everyone burts into laughter, I sniffed loftily at him. "Just go answer the door, Ferris. And Adam, you shouldn't laugh. You're below the standards as of right now."

Tamara snickered at that as Adam glared at me. "More tomato thingies?"

I pick one."Great, so does anyone know when Giles is supposed to get here?"

Tamara:
As Ferris and I snack on the tomato cuts, I see a very annoyed Oliver quickly approach us. "I turn my back on you for two minutes, and you dissapear," he says, taking my hand, and pulling me away from the table, "You should come and work for my employers."

I smile at him and reply, "Not even for the Crown Jewels, dear. I know the 'people' you work for, and I would just rather stay as far away from them as possible. Speaking of far away...why are we on the other side of the party?"

Oliver pulls me closer to him, "I didn't want you to give anyone the wrong impression, love."

"Are you jealous?"

"Of a sixteen year old boy...I don't think so," he leans over and kisses me on the lips.

No matter how many times we have kissed, I still melt in his arms. We embraced for several minutes before a knock at the door interupted us. Okay, I think, maybe this is Giles. I walk over to the door and open it...No one. Then I look down.

"Hello nurse!" was the chorus from two of the three animated....puppy-children.

"Um," I ask, "who are you?"

The taller one was the first to answer, "We're the Warner Brothers..."

Then the littlest one added, "And the Warner Sister."

Oh, no...it can't be!

"I'm Yacko."

"I'm Wacko."

"And let me guess," I say, pointing at the little girl, "You're cute?"

"How did you know?" she smiles, "My name's Dot. Call me Dotty and you die."

"I'll try to remember that," I grin, "Look, kids...not that I'm upset to see you three here...but, shouldn't you be back on the lot?"

"We got bored," Yacko explains, "and we heard there was a party going on here...so here we are."

"Well," I ask, "Since you are from the WB...have you seen Giles anywhere?"

"Is he cute?" Dot asks.

"Well, I think so," I say, catching the evil look Oliver gives me. Then I point to him and add, "He kinda looks like him..."

They all turn to Oliver, who had a worried expression on his face. Then Dot bounced over to him, and jumped into his arms, "Hello, male nurse!"

"I beg your pardon?" he huffs, trying to pry the cartoon child off from around his neck, "Tamara, did you invite these...these...things in here."

"Oliver, dear," I smile, "They aren't like the reporters. They are animated gifs...I can't really keep them out. As long as they don't run amuk...we'll be okay."

"Amukamukanmuk!" Yacko and Wacko, cheerfully say, as they each seek out the food.

"Then again..." I sigh.

This party is rapidly going from strange to bizarre...

Donna:
As I walk over to the buffet table, I see Wacko devouring whole platters of canapes. Not just the food. The entire silver platter. He then guzzles an entire 3-liter bottle of root beer and belches loudly. I lean toward Michael. "I've never seen such an appetite," I whisper.

In response I get a muffled cry for help. Dot, Yakko and Wacko's sister, has wrapped her arms around Michael and is kissing him."Hello, coffee flavored kisses!" Dot yells.

"Take the last train to Clarksville!" I demand, prying the little cutie from Michael's neck.

From no where the Warners produce guitars and a set of drums and begin singing old Monkees songs. At least we have music for a while-- and the three have stopped accosting party guests. However, the Hellhound begins baying along with the singing.

Ferris steps up to the microphone. "Do you know 'Twist and Shout?'" he asks. "I was a big hit singing that in Chicago."

While the newly formed band entertains everyone, Mary tugs at my arm. "RTW meeting in the kitchen," she whispers.

I make my excuses to Michael, suggesting that he and Oliver might want to compare family trees. As he wanders over to the man in black, I follow Mary into the kitchen.

Tamara is sitting on the counter. There's definitely a look of concern onher face. "Is everyone here? Good. I have some good news and some bad news..."

Tamara:
I look at the group gathered around the center island, and sigh, "Well, the good news is, I can keep the reporters out. All I did was set up a filter to block anyone that has anything to do with reporters..."

"And the bad new?" Kimberly asks.

"The bad news is," I hop off the counter, "I can't block everyone. If you hadn't noticed with the Warner Siblings."

"Yeah I did," Donna gave a small frown.

Kim W. opens the refridgerator and takes out a bottle of wine, "So, what do we do now?"

"Well..." I was about to say, when Oliver props open the door slightly.

"Um, Tamara, Love?"

"Yes?"

"I think you ought to come out here."

"Why?"

Oliver hedges, "Trust me. You really want to come out here."

I look from him to my crew and gasp, "Oh, God! What now!?"

We run out into the main room and see what Oliver meant. There crouched onthe floor, with bows in his hair, is my Hell Hound. And dancing around him...the Warners.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" I shout, as they scatter. Then kneeling by his side, I begin to gently remove the bows, "There, there now...it's okay."

"But he looks so much nicer now," Dot protests, "See how happy he is?" she says, running up to him and stretching his jowls into a grin.

"Are you NUTS?!" I say, pushing the hyper little puppy-thing away, "What have you done to him? I mean, look at him!"

"You made a Hell Hound cower," Mary M. grined, "I'm impressed."

"Me too," Mary Ann pipes in, coming out of the corner, looking at the bizarre scene, "Tam, I hope they don't get to the rest of them...you might have to end your story early for lack of nasty creatures."

"Oh, ha ha," I say, removing the last of the pink bows, "Very funny guys. Encourage them...go ahead. You'll see. You think they're bad now...give them some time." I stand up and go to grab the Warners, when the doorbell rings. "Oh, no," I grimace, "Not another guest. Please let it be Giles, and not some other bizarre visitor."

"Don't worry Tam," Kimberly says, "I'll get it. You take care of the Warners."

Kimberly L:
"Don't get your shorts in a bunch." Kimberly yelled as the doorbell rang second time. "I'm comin' " She side stepped around the remains of the cherry tomato things that Yako had left on the floor and flung the door open.

"Well golly-gee! I was beginning to think that no one was going to let me in." Mayor Wilkins handed Kimberly a wrapped present and gave her an air kiss on the cheek as he sauntered in. "Would you be a trooper and give that to out lovely hostess?"

"Oh my-my-my God." Wesley stammered. "I gotta go to the bathroom." Kimberly mumbled as she quickly handed the package off to Donna who hands it off to Mary M. who hands it off to Mary Ann who hands it off to Dot.

"Why thank you." The Warner sister says while giving it a shake. "You didn't have too."

Adam nudged Cathryn. "Who's that?"

"Ah, bad news... you want to get that package away from her? I'm going with Kim to hide... I mean going with Kim to the ladie's room." Cathryn smiled and slid away.

Cathryn:

As I sidle off to follow Kimberly, I see Sandy make his way over to the Mayor, looking instantly fascinated ."Oh, look, he's found a kindred spirit," I giggle weakly to Kimberly. "How cute."

Well, they are a lot alike. Those two teamed up? Suddenly, I really do have to go to the bathroom. Kimberly, looking back at them, is clearly thinking the same thing.

Suddenly, we over hear Adam demanding, "Why do women always go to the bathroom in teams?"

Kimberly and I exchange a glance and split for the bathroom, barely managing to shut the door before we let loose with nervous, borderline hysterical giggles.

"Tamara's going to have a heart attack," I choke out.

I squeak at the thought. "Don't even say that!"

We linger in the bathroom for a few moments before we have sufficiently composed ourselves. "We can't hide in here," I point out. "Besides, what's he gonna do at a party? Probably tell bad jokes and eat all the canapes," I reason.

"I guess," Kimberly says doubtfully.

We take deep breaths and return to the party, where we find Tamara holding the box and the Mayor watching her expectantly, looking like someone on Christmas waiting for a loved one to open their gift. And he looks about as evil as Santa Claus.

We're not fooled.

Tamara takes a deep, gulping breath and begins to slowly pry the box open, while Kimberly and I discreetly edge our way toward our male companions for protection.

"Afraid of a box?" Sandy mutters to me in amusement as I slink behind him and watch Tamara from behind his shoulder.

"Damn right I am," I mutter.

Suddenly, Tamara squeals.

Tamara:
I can't believe my eyes, as I carefully open the box the Mayor brought, "Oh wow....how did you know?"

"Know what?" Donna asks, attracting the attention of all those in the room."What's in the box?"

"I can't believe this...this is great," I say, still looking into the box.

"What? What?" Kim W. asks, trying to get a better look at the box.

At this point, Cathryn and Kimberly emerge from the safety of the bathroom and slink over to the group that has formed around me and the box.

"I'm glad you like it," the Mayor grins, "And I'm sure that everyone will enjoy this 'small' tolken of my esteem."

"What Tolken?!"

Breaking out of my trance I smile, holding the box for all those to see, "Oh, I'm sorry. Mayor Wilkens brought us some really expensive Godiva Chocolates. My favorite."

"Ah...chocolates?" Mary M. asks nervously.

"Are you sure that's a good thing?" Kimberly backs away slightly.

"Ah come on," I say, popping one in my mouth, "it's not like it's Band Candy or anything? Right? Right? Ah, Mayor Wilkens....Mayor? Sir? Uh oh."

Kimberly:
"Ah, Tamara... you okay?" Donna asked as Tamara began to waver.

Oliver was on Mayor Wilkins like white on rice. "What was in that!" He screamed as he grabbed Wilkins by the collar. "Answer me!"

"Now calm down, no reason to get all upset. Golly! You act like I (giggle) might have done something not nice." Wilkins pushed Oliver's hand off and smiled sincerely. "Do you have a brother? You know, you look like someone I know. They say everybody has a twin."

"What was in that?" Adam growled from behind.

"Well, lookie at this! I guess eveyone has a triplet!" Wilkins exclaimed as he took a good look at Adam, then scanning the room caught sight of Michael over at the coffee urn. "Well, this is such a coincidence. And I thought odd coincidences just happened in my home town."

"Somebody HELP!" Donna hollered as she helped Tamara to a chair. Ferris grabbed Tam by the other arm and steadyed her.

"Whoa... look at that wallpaper sparkle!" Tam said with a giggle.

Ferris and Donna exchanged glances. "Ah, Tam... what wallpaper? The walls are painted white."

"Wooooo! Woooo!" Our hostess answered.

"Dave's not here... man." Kimberly muttered to Kim W. as Tam was dragged by.

"Huh?"

"Sorry, just had my own flashback.... dude."

Wacko, Yako & Dot formed a football huddle then spread out in a linefacing the Mayor. Wacko pulled a football out from nowhere and all three suddenly were wearing helments, uniforms, pads and cups. Dot paused and pulled the cup out and gave it a toss to Sandy. "I don't need this, here you can have it."

"Thank you... I think."

"Forty-six! Seventy-four! Twenty-eight and three quarters! HIKE!"

The football came sailing across the room and landed in the Mayor's arms. He held it up to his face. "Golly!" It turned into a bomb. "Oh Golly!"

BOOOOOMMMMM!!!!

The Mayor exploded into about a dozen little Mayors which went scurrying for safety out the door.Wesley took off his jacket and folded it into a pillow. Handing it off to Ferris he motioned for him to use it under Tam's head.

"The ittsy-bittsy spider went up the garden.." Tam began to sing.

"I think we'll need a little more professional help than that." Cathryn mumbled as Wacko assumed the apperance of Sigmund Freud and raced over to Tamara's side.

"Look at this guys!" Mary M. yelled as she held up the candy box. "Each one has a word scratched into it. This one says 'comedy' this one says 'angst' this one says 'smutfic' this one says 'twisted tales'..."

"Dibs on twisted." Kimberly shouted raising her hand. Five voices shouted in unision.

"I get the 'smutfic'!" Mary M. looked up at the chorus. "Aaaa, sorry guys.. that one's mine."

"LADIES!" Oliver shouted. "Fight over the... smut later. What are we going to do about Tamara?"

Tam was now sitting up. "The Hellhound stalked closer and with a low rumbling growl.."

"Guess she got 'horror'." Donna mumbled. "Damn. Guess the Mayor wasn't such a bad guy after all."

Cathryn:
"You guys can have smutfic," I smirk, searching through the box. "A ha! Slash." I snag it and stick it in my shirt pocket for later. Then I grin at Sandy, who looks considerably pale. Gee, I wonder why. ((Author's Note: This would be because, last time I got hold of this stuff, I wrote a weird Gadget/Scolex piece.))

"Do about Tamara?" Mary M was saying to Oliver. "What can we do? We'll just have to wait it out. Let it wear off."

"What if it doesn't wear off?" he demands.

"It will," Kimberly speaks up. "It's cyber candy. If it doesn't wear off here, it'll go away the second she gets back to Real Life."

Oliver glares, but can't argue the logic. A small crowd is gathering around Tamara, listening to her babble away as she spins her story. Horror isn't my cup of Sprite, so I stay away, especially when I notice that even the always-collected Ferris is looking scared. TheWarners are, needless to say, squashed together in a terrified, shuddering clump. I just watch the people, nibbling at the canapes - good thing the Mayor never got to them, they're really good - and carefully not listening. And not saying a word as Kimberly slinks over to the candy box and quietly slips the smutfic candy out . . .

Tamara:
"Oooo..." I say, looking up at the changing scenery, "It's getting really dark, isn't it?"

"Oh, no," Kimberly cringes, "Tamara, think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Please?"

"What the hell is going on?!" Kim W. asks, "It's getting dark inside."

"It's the effect of the candy," Kimberly explains, "Tamara's seeing this, and it's happening."

At this point, Cathryn inches back, "Um...okay, I know what she likes to write about...and I'm not liking this. No, no...not one bit."

Sandy looks at her incredulously, "What are you afraid of a few little things that go bump in the night?"

Cathryn whirls around and hisses, "No! You don't understand..."

A chorus of growls fill the room. All eyes shift to four snarling, hissing Hell Hounds!

"They move closer, stalking their prey..." I continue, unaware of the havock I am causing.

"Oliver," Mary M. shouts, "Do, something! Distract her...or something!"

Oliver kneels next to me. I feel him grab me by my shoulders, but somehow it just dosen't register. "They could see the fiery red eyes, as they raise their tails..."

"Candy!" Oliver shouts, "Get me the box of candy!"

They quickly pass the box to him and huddle together in a mass of fear. Oliver opens up the box and roots through the chocolate, until he finds one that might do the trick."Here it is!" he says, taking out the small chocolate goodness, "Tamara, eat this."

I look at him, as though I've seen him for the first time, "Eat? but I'm not hungry."

"Just eat this, Love," he Coaxes, "Please."

I sigh and open my mouth....

Kim W.:
From Kim W.'s point of view, Tamara went from a sitting position on the floor straight to dancing way up on a chandelier. A sonic boom followed a moment later. "Wow!" she said in sheer awed admiration.

"What on earth kind of chocolate did you give her?" Kimberly demanded of Oliver.

"Um....um....." he tried to read the package insert.

Wesley looked over his shoulder, then pointed and paled."Warpdrive 1920's Golddigger," he read.

"Well, this one could be fun," Sandy mused as Tamara landed at warp speed on a table and started singing.

"Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal. Send me a kiss by wire. Baby my heart's on fire."

The three Warner kids joined in behind her. "If you refuse me, honey you'll lose me. Then you'll be left alone."

Sandy's voice joined in for the end chorus. "So baby, come on and telephone!" Then he stopped singing to mutter, "Dot stepped in the jello!"

"I'm getting a terrible urge to sing On Top of Old Smokey," Cathryn said. "Oh no no no no! Somebody give her another chocolate! Quick!"

"We'd have to catch her first," Oliver said, as Tamara rushed by them in a sparkling gold light to take a new position on top of a bass drum.

"What about this one?" Wesley asked, but Oliver slapped the candy from his hand. "Butt-Scrunching British Imperialism? Are you insane?"

"Then, this one!" Mary M. said, picking one out at random as the opening verse of Clementine sounded from the vicinity of the drum set. "And hurry before we all start sounding like Mae West!"

"Wouldn't that be a treat!" Sandy commented.

Kimberly sighed as she ran past him with the selected chococlate.

Cathryn:
"You are enjoying this entirely too much," I inform Sandy, sounding stern but smiling.

"I heard this rumor that you're supposed to have a good time at casual parties," Sandy explains, watching Tamara expectantly as Kimberly holds out the chocolate. After a bit of manuevering, she gets Tamara to swallow it.

"I wonder what this one'll do," I mutter apprehensively.

Tamara swallows. We all watch anxiously. There's a pause, then she peers at us irritably. "Whatever are y'all staring' at?" she demands, glaring. And have her eyes suddenly gone bright green? And did she have a thick Southern accent before?

"Nothing, nothing," we all mumble.

Tamara huffs skeptically and makes her way over to the buffet slowly, swaying her hips and tossing a few coquettish glances about.

Sandy's the first to clue in. He bursts into laughter, the kind you usually only hear from him when he's vanquishing an archrival or something. "This is beautiful," he declares. "That man is a genius!", referring, no doubt to the Mayor.

"What?" Wesley demanded. "What is she now?"

Tamara:
I look around the room and only see Atlanta. Sweet Atlanta. Mah, home. Wait, a minute! Atlanta? What is going on?! And why am I in this green dress?

"Rhett," I say, trying to search the room for my lost love, "Rhett, where are you? Ah'm sorry, I truly am. Don't leave me alone, while mah home burns. Rhett?"

Oliver sighes, and gently takes me in his arms, "Darling," he looks right in my eyes, "It's me. Can you hear me?"

"Rhett?"

"Oh, yeah," Kimberly giggles, "She's in the land of Cotton and Corsets."

"Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton..." the Warner siblings sing.

"Either someone shuts them up," Oliver growls, "Or I will!" Then turning back to me he shakes me gently, "Tamara, please, Love. Come back to me."

"Rhett?"

Oliver sighs and switches to a fairly convincing southern accent, "Scarlett,darling. Ah promise not to leave you. But you have to promise me something."

"Anything!" I jump at the chance to keep mah man close to me, "Just tell me, sugah."

"Eat this." he says handing me a small chocolate.

As I down the candy, I vaguely hear Kim W. sigh, "Oh, well...here we go again."

Kimberly:
"What did he give her?" Cathryn whispered to Kim. W.

"Well...." Kim W. answered with a roll of her eyes "I think it's pretty easy to figure out."

Tamara had assumed a rigid posture and had pushed Oliver back toward the buffet table. "Back off scumbag and tell me which way the perp went."

Oliver raised an eyebrow. "Perp?"

"You better answer or you'll be taking a trip downtown." Tamara snapped, moving into Oliver's face. "I remember rousting you on that airport truck hijack two years ago."

"She sounds like Swipowicz." Donna hissed.

"That wasn't me." Oliver said backing up. "Somebody get another piece of candy, because I don't think 'New York, New York' is turning out the way I planned."

Tamara grunted and pushed Oliver toward Mary Ann. "Take him downtown and put his lying ass in the cage." She put her hands on her hips and scanned the room. "So did any of you see anything, or did you all of you just 'happen' have something in your eye when the perp blew through?"

"I just got here... ah, detective." Cathryn said in a high voice. "But I'll try to help... ummm, what happened?"

"We gots a sicko 'vert who gets his jollies by going around to women's apartments looking for a cup of coffee."

Michael slid toward the door.

Tamara raised her chin and scratched it all the time giving Cathryn a suspisious look. "So you say you just got here?"

"Aahh... yeah, just got here."

"Then you want to explain why there's a hunk of chocolate melting in your pocket?"

"Aahh.. I brought it with me?"

"You're in this up to your eyeballs, I can smell it." Tamara waved her hand at Mary M. "Take her downtown and put her in the cage with that other lowlife."

Kimberly began to snicker.

"Something funny sister?" Tam picked at a fingernail for a second and then stomped toward Kimberly. "You know, I've seen you around too..."

"Here use this!" Yacko handed Tam a rubber hose and a high intensity light.

Kimberly stopped snickering. "Somebody get a different piece of candy! NOW!"

Sandy grabbed the box and began to rummage through. "How about 'Deep in the heart of Texas'?"

"That could be just as bad!" Adam barked. "Let me see what's left in there!"

Donna raced up to them. "Hurry up!" She glanced back over her shoulder at Kimberly under the hot light. "She's going to crack like a three minute egg!"

"Here! Try this!" Adam yelled as he tossed a piece of candy to Dot.

"Well thank you." She said batting her eyes. "You didn't have to." And then the Warner sister popped it into her mouth.

"DON'T" Adam screeched, then he turned to Donna. "Now there's two of them under the influence."

Kimberly:
Mary Ann picked Dot up by the heels and thwacked her on the back. "Spit it out! Spit it out!" Acompanied by a "woosh" the chocolate few across the room and landed squarely on Donna's shoe.

"Ick! Someone get me a napkin!"

"Don't eat the candy!" Mary Ann hollered in Dot's ear.

"That Uniform is gonna make detective some day." Tam said in approval."Good work! I can see there's something hinky goin' on around here. They're all in it... tryin' to destroy evidence." Her eyes narrowed. "A coffee-chocolate-cartoon cartel!"

The Warner brothers spun around and changed into leather jackets and mirrored sunglasses. Dot spun out of Mary Ann's grasp and followed suit.

"Call for backup." Tam hissed to Mary M.

The Warners changed to long sequined dresses with matching elbow length gloves. "Ooo-wa! Diddy-diddy-dum, diddy-do!"

Ferris grabbed the box out of Sandy's hand. "Ah... ah... here's '4th ofJuly'. How about that?"

Adam shook his head. "That could be either Thomas Jefferson or she will shoot into the air and explode."

"Or turn into an alien and try to blow up big cities." Ferris added.

Sandy held up a piece. "Here's 'Ride 'em cowboy'!"

Oliver slid over.

"That might work... give it here."

"Get away from that!" Tamara yelled. Pieces of candy flew everywhere as she jerked the box away from the men.

"Eat this, please Love.." Oliver began as he held the sweet up to Tam.

She stepped up and slapped the candy from his fingers sending it flying into the punch bowl. "Forget that scumbag! I ain't eating anything!"

"I'm getting a headache." Wesley mumbled as he rubbed his brow.

Kimberly slowly edged out from under the hot light and crawled past him. "Then do something!" She snapped! "I thought you were a 'trained Watcher'? Didn't they cover this sort of thing?"

"Of course, we had weeks and weeks of instruction as to what to do if we ever found ourselves trapped in a rented room with three animated characters, a box of hexed candy and a hostess who thinks she is a decetive."

"Think of something!" Kim W. butted in. "Kimberly's right, you're the only one here that's dealt with this kind of problem."

Wesley fiddled with his tie. "Ah... yes... but ALL of you have written about this sort of thing." He stopped fiddling and snorted in annoyance. "In matter of fact you all have done some very... 'imaginative' things to my person, some of them not very pleasant...."

"Hey! I write you good!" Kimberly countered. "Look... fix this and I promise I'll get you in the sack with a pair of twenty year old twin nyphos in my next twisted tale. An all-nighter... cross my heart!"

"And I'll make it triplets... double jointed triplets! Kim W. added. "Cans of Ready-Whip and a trapeze and mirrors and..."

Wesley ignored the offers, drawing himself up and jutting his chin out he kept on talking. "...So I do believe you have the ability to think of a way out of this mess. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to have a glass of punch and watch the show."

Cathryn:
In spite of the weirdness of the situation, I break up. "Wesley, you've finally grown a backbone! It's about damn time!" I exclaim.

He merely shoots me an amused look as he pours his punch.

I take a deep breath and try to get serious again.

Suddenly, Mary M, who's been kinda of quiet for the past few minutes, speaks up. "I have an idea." And she dashes out the door. Tamara gives chase, but Ferris quietly trips her. The Warners immediately set upon her with cartoon rope.

"What is she doing?" Sandy demands.

"I think she's logging off," Kimberly says slowly.

"Why?"

"Let's shut up and find out," I suggest, earning a dirty look from Sandy. I smirk.

Suddenly, Tamara disappears.

"Oh my god!" Kimberly squawks. "What did she do?"

A moment later, Mary M comes running back in. "I logged her off, then back on," she tells us. "Did it work?"

"We don't know!" Mary Ann answers. "She's gone!"

"But I'm sure the log in process went all the way through," Mary M protests.

Donna gasps suddenly. "That means," she said slowly, "that Tamara is somewhere in cyberspace."

"She could be anywhere," Kimberly realizes in horror. "Cyberspace is huge."

I say the only thing I can think of.

"Wowser."

Kimberly:
"Oh man... now what do we do?" Mary Ann said nervously.

Kim W. rubbed her chin. "Ah...call tech support?"

"Be serious!" Mary M. shot back. "I'm going to reboot and see if that helps."

"Wonder where she is?" Donna said uneasily. She pointed at the Warner siblings. "Can you three do something? Like jump into cyerspace and find her?"

"Are you crazy?" Wacko said with a look of true fear. "Cyberspace scares us!"

"Totally!" Dot added, peering out of a box that had suddenly materialized. She slammed the lid shut.

"Completely!" Yacko agreed as he knocked on the box lid.

"Who's there?" Dot chirped.

"Pizza!" Yacko answered holding up a extra large deluxe. The lid popped open and he jumped in. Wacko held up breadsticks and followed his brother into the box. The lid slammed back shut and with a clatter a chain and padlock wrapped around the container.

"How do they do that?" Adam mumbled.

"And that looked like extra cheese too." Kimberly sadly noted as she gave the chain a yank.

"Weelll, it sure looks like 'yall's in one heck of a mess here." As one everyone turned to Wesley who was leaning up against the wall chewing on a toothpick. He straightened and sauntered over to Cathryn, "Excuse me, Ma'am, but it looks to me like 'yall could use a bit of help."

Selyf:
I have to admit that there is a part of me intrigued by Cowboy Wesley. The term "ride 'em" evoked delicious thoughts in my naughty mind. But I caught sight of Michael, standing in off to the side with Mary Ann. As the old saying goes,"Dance with the one that brung ya!" Of course, in this case,I'd brung him. I joined them by the buffet table.

"He must've had the cowboy," Kim W. said, assessing Wesley's condition.

Sandy looked around. "Damn!" he muttered. "Wish I'd seen him first!"

Mary Ann leaned closer to me. "So Tamara's in Cyberspace."

"Yes," I said. "I'm not sure what we can do about that."

"I do," Mary Ann replied, stepping across the room and tapping Oliver on the shoulder. Michael and I followed. By the time we got to them, Oliver was looking both relieved -- and grim.

"Of course," he said. "That's the answer. But I'm worried about taking such a step. You know what happened last time..."

"Yes," Mary Ann replied, "but I think it's our only hope."

"Very well." Oliver made his way across the room, past Wesley, who was now singing about "little dogies", to the telephone.

I turned to Mary Ann. "You didn't suggest what I think you suggested," I said.

She nodded. "Can you think of anyone better qualified to bring Tamara back from Cyberspace?"

"Who are you calling?" Michael asked.

By the time Oliver hung up the phone, there was a knock at the door. Cathryn took a look through the peephole. Her jaw dropped. She opened the door.Two tall blonde women stood in the doorway. A tall man with long dark hair and incredible blue eyes was just behind them.

"Did someone call VR Busters?" he asked, grinning broadly.

Oliver waved them all in. He turned to address the partygoers. "Ladies and gentlemen, I think you all know Sydney, Samantha, and Duncan."

A message from Tamara, in cyberspace:
"Ah, guys.....help! I...ah...don't know where the hell I am...but everything is kinda swirlie. And there is nice, pretty, flashie light, thingies all around. Ooo...wait a minute....I see something...hang on...AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

NO GOOD! NO GOOD! Get me the HELL out of here!!!!!!"

Return Message from Self:
Hang on, Tamara! Help is on the way!

-Donna