 | Kingdoms Press Gazette
Welcome to the Kingdoms Press Gazette.
Your first source for all information pertaining to
'The 10th Kingdom.' |  |
NEED TO CAST A SPELL?
Then visit Ye Olde Magic Shoppe. We are the largest
and oldest in all the 9 Kingdoms. We stock everything
from eye of newt to hair of the dog that bit you. If
we don't have it, we can find it. Check out our two-
for-one special on Charms. We are located in the
4th Kingdom, just two blocks north of Wendell's
Castle. Just follow the signs!FOR SALE - BALL GOWN
Only worn once. Great contidion!
Made of blue silk and white taffeta,
with lace bodice and rose trim accents.
Comes with matching slippers and tiara!
A steal at 100 Gold Wendells.
(Prince Charming not included.)
Call Cinderella for details at 120-1200 9 KINGDOMS TOURS -
"We make Your Storybook Dreams Come True!"
Want to stroll through Enchanted Forests, tour
castles, cruise Rivertown, hike Dragon Mountain,
or have a wolf encounter in Red Riding Hood
Forest? Now is the time to see all the places
you've read about, but never thought you could
visit. We offer tours to all 9 Kingdoms in spacious
horse-drawn carriages with lunch provided by Little
Lamb Village Deli. See our ad in the Snow White
Pages. Big Bad Wolf Pack discounts available. | | COTTAGE FOR SALE!
Small, rustic but quaint. Secluded forest location.
Recently renovated by 7 dwarves. New thatched roof
and cozy stone fireplace. Comes with its own wishing
well! Must see to believe! Hurry, won't last long!
Call Enchanted Forest Reality at 777-7777Thanks to Wendy for these ads! FOR SALE - SINGING RING
Never used, never worn by love-of-my-life.
Very cheap at 3,000 Gold Wendells, guaranteed to get
your girl (except if she's not from this dimension and
wants to go back to where she came from, then there's
no way she'll even look at a Wolf like me...) FORGET
IT! I'm throwing this stupid out-of-tune, ugly ring
in the ocean - you can fish it out yourself if you like!!! FOR SALE - MAGIC SHOES
Slightly water damaged, but in very good condition.
HURRY!! Get them before they disappear!!! Will sell
very quickly at 1,000 Gold Wendells. One size fits all -
will make you invisible - can be used to escape from
prisons, avoid capture or just to get a great high.
WARNING: Surgeon General has determinded that
Magic Shoes can be very addictive.
Use at your own risk.
Pls call 1 1-800-GO-TROLL Thanks to Neyney for these ads! |
SM n/s Royal, Blond/Blue Seeks Princess, Duchess or
similar status Virgin of Quality conversation, long
walkies, possible merger, puppies...er, no, I meant,
young energetic pup sniffing out friendly bitch to...
no, no, confused but friendly man's best friend...AAACK!
monarch, answers to "Here Prince", seeking
amiaable owner/girlfriend to roll in grass, bury bones...
oh, I give up! WOOF!SIZE DOESN'T MATTER!...
Long-term inmate seeking pen pal for conversation,
exchange of gifts (I'd like a file, please), possible
conjugal visits. No shortage of personality. Could
take you to new heights of passion. Some call me
handsom (it depends on your perspective), brown
hair, blue eye. That's the long and the short of it.
Write ACORN #224-8D, Cellblock E, SWMP, 4th
Kingdom. Write soon, 'cause there's no escaping
the fact that I may not be here for long! | | ME: very fine chap, playful, serene -- okayokayokay,
not serene, so I'm a little neurotic -- who isn't??? In
therapy, tackling parent issues and cyclic eating
disorder. Biiiiig appetite for everything. Born to
gorge, that's me.
Not Alpha but hardly Omega, no doubt about it!
YOU: succulent, creamy, dreamy, tasty, willing to
join me on moonlight jaunts and short runs through
the woods at sunset. Or any time, 'cause I'm ready
ALL the time.
Send portrait, ltr., bacon sandwich to Box AARROOO!
No sheperdesses, please. Thanks to Shay for these ads! |
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