A.N.D. - Through the Looking Glass

The obstetrician had a very posh office, but like OB/gyn lobbies everywhere, it was littered with old magazines and battered toys. The waiting room was full of mothers, children, and women in various sizes of mother-to-be. One little boy stared at them the entire time they waited; Wolf made faces at him while Virginia filled out the paperwork.

At last her name was called and even though the assistant told him to wait in the office, Wolf insisted on following Virginia around while they weighed her, took her blood pressure, and marooned her in an empty examination room. At least it gives me someone to talk to, Virginia thought, since “The Doctor will be right with you” is such an elastic term!

To Virginia’s surprise, the doctor really was “right with” them. A few minutes later a tiny woman marched into the room with military precision, barely lifting an eyebrow when she saw who was waiting for her.

“Not many of my patients have five o’clock shadow,” she told Wolf with a wry smile. “Care to tell me your symptoms?”

“It’s my wife. To be. She’s really sick, doc, she can barely eat anything.”

“And you’re seeing a gynecologist instead of a gastrointestinal specialist because...?”

“I’m pregnant.”

The doctor looked at Virginia’s flat stomach and fully raised the eyebrow.

“No really. It’s been about a month, my period hasn’t come, and the little strip turned pink. I’m pregnant.”

“Is this your first child?”

“Of course it is! What kind of a woman do you think she is?”

The diminutive doctor greeted Wolf’s outburst with another raised eyebrow and turned back to Virginia. “Is this your first child?” she repeated.

Virginia nodded.

“Planned?”

“Er... um...”

“Mmmmhmmmm. Have you ever had stomach troubles before?”

“She used to be a waitress,” Wolf pointed out. “It’s not like she could do that and have problems around food.”

“No, I haven’t,” Virginia said.

“Now you’ve got all-day nausea and think it’s more than morning sickness.”

“Well, that only makes sense,” Wolf pointed out reasonably. “Morning sickness means in the morning. I’ve been reading all the baby books, doc. They don’t have a term for ‘middle of the day standing downwind from a hot dog vendor’s cart’ sickness.”

The look the doctor gave him this time was a lot longer and colder. Then she pulled what looked like a pad of tickets out of a pocket, scribbled something on one, ripped it off, went to the door, and called her assistant.

“Here,” she said, handing the ticket to Wolf. “Sally will show you to our toyroom. We like to give something to our first-time parents. Why don’t you go pick something out for your baby while I examine your wife?”

“Okay,” Wolf said a little doubtfully. “I hope you have something for boys. The baby’s going to be a boy, you know.”

“How very good for you,” the doctor said. Virginia was impressed at how she managed to maneuver Wolf neatly out the door. “Take your time and pick the right one, we’ll be a while,” she said before she shut the door in his face.

“Now,” she added, turning back to Virginia, “let’s take a look at you.”

What followed was a lot of poking and prodding and cold instruments, punctuated with a lot of “hmmmm”ing. It was a very, very thorough exam, and the doctor wasn’t the sort who chattered a lot while she worked. But when Virginia had a question she answered it thoroughly, and she had an air of competent confidence that made Virginia trust her.

When it was all through, the doctor nodded once to herself and told Virginia to get dressed again. “You look quite healthy, and have all the normal signs for the very early stages of pregnancy. Let’s wait for the blood and urine tests to come back for a final diagnosis, but everything I see says you’re doing just fine.”

“But what about the nausea?”

“Well, despite what your fiance has read, it’s not abnormal for cases of morning sickness to be this severe. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot that can be done about it. Take a multiple vitamin every day, one with extra folic acid if you can find it. If you have cravings, follow them; your body is trying to tell you something and it’s better to listen. A lot of my mothers tell me that they become hypersensitive to smell; if you chill your food down you can probably eat more of it.”

“Wolf made me a bowl of something he said his mother liked. It was very cold, and I could eat it.”

“What was in it?”

“White meat chicken, milk, rice, and spices, mostly.”

“Sounds very good. If you can eat it, do. But try to eat green vegetables as well-your baby needs those vitamins.” While the doctor talked she was patting her pockets, until she finally found a business card. She wrote a note on it and handed it out. “I want you to take this, too.”

“I thought there wasn’t anything I could take for the nausea.”

“It’s not for nausea.”

Virginia looked at the card. It was an advertisement for a local battered woman’s shelter, with the handwritten note “If you need to cover your escape, I’ll set up a fake appointment. I’ve done it before.”

“WHAT!” Virginia tried to give the card back, but the doctor shoved her hand away. “I don’t need this!”

That doctor really could speak volumes with a single raised eyebrow. “You are pregnant without being married. It was unplanned. The baby’s father is opinionated, doesn’t leave you alone, and doesn’t let you talk for yourself.”

“I can’t believe you’re saying this! He’s-”

The doctor interrupted. “He’s handsome, he’s loving, he’s the only one who ever treated you this way, and you love him.”

“Yes!”

“Does he love you?”

“Of course he does!”

“Then why did I see all those healing bruises during the exam?”

“It’s not what you think! It’s... It’s hard to explain.”

“But it won’t happen again?”

There wasn’t anything Virginia could say to that. “It” was going to happen again as soon as the full moon rose, but Wolf’s cycles couldn’t be explained here and now.

The doctor misunderstood her silence. “You’re not sure. You don’t know if he’ll hurt you again.”

“He loves me!” Virginia defended, realizing even as she protested it that the doctor had probably heard it all a thousand times before.

She was right-the doctor was unconvinced. She put her hands in her lab coat pockets and met Virginia’s eyes with a hard look. “Fine. He loves you. Despite these bruises you’re safe with him. Will you still be safe if you miscarry that baby he seems to want so much? Almost half of all pregnancies spontaneously abort in the first trimester, did you know that? I’ll do everything for you, but you might lose that baby. And if you’re not worried about yourself, if you don’t miscarry, what about that child? Virginia Lewis, will that baby be safe if it’s not the son he wants?”

Once upon a time, Virginia wouldn’t have known what to say when she was in shock. Once upon a time, Virginia didn’t think there was any way of changing people’s minds when they were set against her. Once upon a time, Virginia had been merely the waitress daughter of a burned-out, has-been executive turned janitor.

But that was once upon a time.

“Look, I understand what you’re trying to do, and I appreciate it. Although I’d appreciate it more if you hadn’t immediately jumped to conclusions.”

“I used to try asking questions, and just got a lot of denials. In the long run, the ambush method has proved a lot better getting people to listen to me rather than coming up with stories.”

“Do you automatically assume that every woman you see is a battered mother?”

The doctor sighed heavily. “No. But the last time I saw someone who looked like that,” she gestured at the highest concentration of healing hickies, “she also swore that he loved her, she adored him, he would take care of her and the baby forever and ever, etc. That was the first time I saw her. Do you know the last place I saw her?”

“No.” Virginia had a feeling she didn’t want to know.

“The coroner called me because my card was in her pocket. But we needed a dentist to identify her for sure, because there wasn’t a lot left of her face. When the cops got him, he said she deserved the beating for not giving him a son.”

Virginia wanted to ask what happened to the baby, but the doctor’s expression make it clear she really didn’t want to know. Fine. It wasn’t like the story had anything to do with her anyway.

“So now you’d rather be safe than sorry,” she told the doctor.

“Wouldn’t you?”

“Until you accused Wolf of beating me, I would have said yes. Wolf is not like that. He hasn’t been controlling me. He is not stringing me along with promises of marriage. Let me guess-you think he said that just to get me pregnant?”

The doctor nodded.

“He talked marriage long before our little ‘ooops’ happened. It was an oops, too, not something he asked me to do to prove my love. I’ve never had to prove anything to him; he’s been too busy trying to prove his love to me. One of the ways was giving me this, before we knew I was pregnant.” It was a little white lie; she would have crossed her fingers, but they were too busy squeezing the ring in warning.

The ring and the doctor stared at each other for a moment. “It’s... large,” the doctor finally said.

“It’s a traditional style where he comes from.” Time to get closer to the truth. “Look, I know he has a few issues. So do I, and if it makes you feel better, Dr. Frasier, we are already in joint counseling.”

“I’m relieved to hear it.”

“But it’s not because he hits me. Mostly it’s food issues on his part and abandonment issues on mine. My mother left when I was a little girl.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It messed me up for a long time. I have to admit, I still have a lot to deal with the whole motherhood thing.” Doctor, my mother tried to kill me twice, and I ended up killing her. You shouldn’t worry about Wolf hurting the baby. You should worry about me. Suppressing the dark thought, Virginia went on earnestly. “Wolf isn’t hovering around me because he’s trying to control me, he’s trying to prove that he won’t run away like my mother did. I know he loves me, not because he says so, but because his every action says so. He left his own country to be with me-would a control freak do that? Wouldn’t someone who just wanted a brood mare insist that I stay near his family rather than come back to my own home?”

“Possibly.” The doctor was listening, but not quite agreeing. “You still haven’t explained the bruises. There are plenty of overexcited, talkative fathers that pass through my lobby; they’re just big little boys who can be distracted with toys. It’s the bruises that decided it for me. How did you get so many? Tell me and I’ll apologize-as long as you don’t say that you fell down the stairs.”

Virginia felt herself blush, and decided that a half truth was better than none. “He didn’t beat me. He... we... like it a little rough every now and then.”

“Rough on you, at least.”

“Rough on us both. If you could see him with his shirt off, you’d know!” Heck, Doctor, he was the one wearing the handcuffs. At least part of the time.

The doctor gave her another one of those long looks, but she also had a slight smile. “I’m not adverse to seeing handsome men with their shirts off, certainly.”

Virginia smiled back. “If I show you that the hickeys are mutual-and that’s what they are, mostly hickies-will you believe me?”

“I’ll certainly feel better about the situation than I did when I first saw the marks. I’ll admit, you’re not acting like the typical battered wife.” Dr. Frasier leaned out the door and spoke to her assistant. Moments later Wolf arrived, his coat pocket bulging with something white and fluffy.

“Virginia, look!”

She knew what it was even before he handed it to her. It was a tiny stuffed sheep that bleated softly as she rocked it. It was so silly and so typically Wolf that she started to laugh.

“You like it?” Wolf smiled broadly and bounced on his toes in excited satisfaction. Virginia reached for him, and he took her into a bear hug, kissing the top of her head.

“Doctor,” he asked over her head without letting go, “she’s going to be okay, isn’t she?”

“She looks very healthy,” was the neutral reply.

“Is she still going to be sick?”

“There’s a good chance, I’m afraid.”

Wolf sighed. “I’ll make you more of my mother’s pudding, Virginia. I’ll look in other cookbooks too, maybe I can find something else you can eat. I’ll keep looking. You know I’ll keep looking.”

“I know.” Virginia squeezed him, trying to think of a way to show his bruises without upsetting him with accusations. She finally decided on the direct approach. With a last squeeze, she stepped back. “Wolf, give me your hand.”

He didn’t even ask why, just stuck out his right hand. Pleased with this proof of his compliant nature, Virginia unbuttoned his cuff and pushed up his sleeve. Wow, she really had gone to town on his wrists, hadn’t she?

Wolf cocked his head, watching her, then shot a wary look at the doctor. “Is this what you want to see?” he asked, taking his hand back and unbuttoning his collar. He spread it wide, showing the bruises running down the muscles of his neck. He stared at the doctor in direct challenge.

She stared right back, neither showing submission or trying to trump him. “You’ll have to cut down on the rough stuff as she starts to show. The baby won’t be as enthusiastic as the two of you obviously are.”

Wolf nodded once, and it was the doctor who finally broke the staredown by shifting to look at Virginia. “I’ll call you with the test results, but I’m going to give you a clean bill of health now. Still, healthy or not, you should consider regular appointments, particularly since it’s a first pregnancy. Do you want to contact my assistant to schedule another appointment, or...?” She let it trail off, but Virginia didn’t have any trouble mentally finishing the sentence. Or tell me where to shove it and find a new gynecologist?

Wolf was uncharacteristically silent and still, but when Virginia shot him a look his expression was neutral. “I appreciate having a doctor who will talk to me, but not one who talks down to me.”

“I understand that.”

“Yes,” Virginia said. “I think we understand each other very well now.” Now she was the one in the staredown. The moment stretched out, and Virginia was surprised that the little doctor never twitched. She had come to a conclusion that made sense according to what she saw, she’d been proven wrong, and she would accept whatever Virginia said now.

If she didn’t listen to what I said, I would have considered her stupid. If she begged for me to stay, I’d think she was weak. But she isn’t. The decision came surprisingly easily. “When do you think I should come back?”

For the first time the doctor truly smiled, and Virginia was surprised how it transformed her. “A month will be fine, but feel free to call me if you have any questions or problems.”

Virginia found herself smiling back. “I will.” She crumpled the card she’d been given and tossed it in the trash. “I don’t think I’ll be needing this.”

“No,” the little doctor said. “I don’t think you will.”

Wolf kept silent until they were outside. “She thinks I hurt you, didn’t she?” he growled as soon as the door shut behind them.

“I changed her mind.” Virginia reached for his arm and squeezed it, taking his hand. “I’m sorry.”

He snorted unhappily but didn’t pull away. Suddenly he swept her into a desperate hug, nuzzling through her hair, then just as suddenly let her go, took her hand, and started walking again. “Of course she thought I hurt you. I’m a wolf, after all.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wanted it to be different for you here.”

“It is different for me here.” Wolf pulled her to a stop, lifting her chin so she met his eyes. “In my world, she would not have listened to you.” He gathered her close again, in another desperate hug. “In my world, the moment they knew you were pregnant I would be hunted and killed for raping you.”