Kevin opened his mailbox. Junk mail, telephone bill, and an envelope the size that would hold a greeting card. A San Francisco return address. He opened it.
Sweet, thought Kevin. It was an anniversary card from Jason. It was a month ago when he had first invited Jason into his home and they had became very close friends.
He read the handwritten message:
Kevin, dear. Keep February open. I have a surprise for you. You and I are flying to London for holiday. I bought an entire new wardrobe for each of us. We're going to bring alive a world that supposedly never existed. If you're puzzled, don't worry. I'll explain when I see you on Saturday. Love, Jason.
A world that never existed? Kevin was indeed puzzled. Oh, well. Saturday was only a couple of days away. And Kevin did have some vacation time coming. He'd use it in February for this London holiday Jason arranged for them.
Jason was going over a list of things for Hook to do while Jason and Kevin would be in London.
"Relax, Jason. I'll take care of watering your plants and feeding your cat. You just go and have a great time with Kevin in London."
"Thanks, Hook. I'll call you from the London flat as soon as we get there."
"Would you just go? Enjoy. Have a great time. Say hello to Kevin for me."
Hook had to shove Jason out the door. "You'll miss your flight if you don't leave now. Kevin's expecting you. Go."
Jason arrived at Kevin's doorstep that Saturday morning.
"You are absolutely adorable," said Jason as he quickly embraced Kevin and kissed him. He couldn't resist running his hands down along Kevin's cute little butt. The dark denim blue jeans Kevin wore were very becoming to his wiry, trim figure.
"What's this cryptic message in that card you sent me?" asked Kevin. "A world that never existed? What did you mean?"
"The world of Jeeves and Wooster. I noticed you have the complete set of that series on tape. I've seen that series, too, and I love it. According to a quote by Hugh Laurie, he learned as a child that the world created by P. G. Wodehouse never really existed. What a shame."
"So how do you propose to bring it alive?"
"You'll see." Jason smiled. "You won't need to pack any clothes. Your complete new wardrobe is ready to go. And so is mine. I spent two whole days searching and shopping for just the right items for our holiday. And Hook helped me arrange for us to stay at a very nice flat in London. We'll be subletting it from his relatives. An Aunt Agnes and Uncle Basil Kensington who will be away."
"I'm still not sure what this is about, Jason."
"Okay, I'll spell it out. I will be your Jeeves and you will be my Bertie while we're in London. We'll be living out a real sexual fantasy. Just think. You'll be waited on hand and foot by yours truly, your very own valet, your gentleman's gentleman. I would LOVE to play Jeeves right down to the last detail. I'll serve you your meals, your drinks, draw your bath for you, and turn down your bed. You'll get yourself into situations that require my having to rescue you by using my brilliant mind to come up with solutions to extricate you from whatever mess in which you'll get. Kevin, we are going to have so much fun in London!"
Kevin smiled as he imagined how it would be. "You do paint a lovely picture in my mind."
"I knew you'd love it! We'll leave Monday morning to catch our flight to London. That'll give us time this weekend to get your passport. I've got mine right here in my carry-on bag."
"Mine is in my safe deposit box at the bank which is still open for another couple of hours, so I'll head over and get it. Uh, Jason. Must I be getting into situations that require you rescuing me? You haven't arranged for anything to happen to me, have you? Like some jealous Stilton Cheesewright threatening to break my spine in three or four or five places?"
"Oh, no, Kevin. That was just hypothetically speaking. We'll be on holiday, and this will be the perfect way to play out a marvelous sexual fantasy: the young gentleman and his valet. I can hardly wait!"
"We'll have to work on our English accents," said Kevin.
After the long flight, Jason and Kevin made it to their destination. They looked around inside the London flat.
"This is AMAZING!" said Kevin. "It looks almost exactly like the set they used in the series! The walls, the furniture, even the layout."
Jason nodded in agreement.
"This has to be either an amazing coincidence or Hook did something, I don't know what, to have this place designed and decorated to look exactly like Bertie Wooster's flat on the television show!"
"Jason, is this really the home of Hook's Aunt Agnes and Uncle Basil Kensington? I can't picture an elderly couple living here. This looks more like the home of a bachelor."
"He said it's their home. I've never met them. Look, a piano! Kevin, do you play?"
"It's been years. I may be out of practice, but I'll try." Kevin sat at the piano and played a few warm-up tunes.
Kevin enjoyed playing the part of Bertie Wooster. That night he slept well in the main bedroom. He was awakened the following morning by Jason softly greeting him in a very Jeeves-like manner.
"Good morning, sir," said Jason.
Kevin opened his eyes. There stood Jason impeccably groomed and dressed as Jeeves. His hair was neatly combed back. Jason was opening the draperies in the bedroom to allow in the soft morning sunlight.
"Good morning, Jeeves," said Kevin. He was wearing a set of comfortable soft cotton pajamas. "My, that was a restful night's sleep. I feel great, ready to take on the day."
"I'm very pleased to hear that, sir. Your bath is drawn for you. Breakfast will be ready for you by the time you finish getting dressed."
"Thank you, Jeeves." Kevin smiled. He was already feeling very spoiled. I could learn to like this, thought Kevin. He got out of bed, headed for the bathroom, removed his pajamas and climbed into the tub.
The water was just the right temperature. Kevin leaned back and enjoyed the warmth. He could hear Jason heading back to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
When he was finished with his bath, Kevin noticed that Jason had very nicely laid out a set of clothing for Kevin to wear, just as Jeeves would normally do for Bertie.
"Too fabulous," said Kevin out loud to himself, grinning. "He's spoiling me rotten. I don't even remember my mother ever doing this for me when I was a little kid." Traci certainly never did anything like this for Kevin, not that he ever had such expectations of Traci or of any other woman he ever dated.
Kevin finished getting dressed and went into the dining room. He sat down and Jason emerged from the kitchen carrying Kevin's breakfast on a tray.
"Ah, Jeeves. I love the smell of a good hot breakfast! Gets my appetite rolling."
"Yes, sir," smiled Jason. He placed the breakfast in front of Kevin and removed the tray.
"Will you be desiring anything else for breakfast, sir?"
Kevin looked at the lovely meal in front of him. Two slices of French toast, one egg sunny-side up, a crisp strip of bacon, fresh sliced canteloupe, and a cup of hot tea with a slice of lemon.
"Thank you, Jeeves. No, everything looks perfect." Kevin grinned and began to eat. Delicious, thought Kevin. He cooks, he cleans, he takes care of me. Geeez, I'm afraid any second I'll wake up and find out this is all just a dream. Oh, please don't let this just be some dream I'm having.
Jason bowed slightly and returned to the kitchen while carrying the tray. Then he proceeded to wash the pots and pans he used to prepare breakfast.
After breakfast Kevin said, "Jeeves, let's take a stroll outside. I'm dying to see the sights of London."
"Very good, sir." Jason left momentarily and returned with a hat for Kevin to wear. It went well with the suit he had chosen for Kevin to wear this morning.
Jason put on his coat and a bowler, just as Jeeves would wear outdoors, and he and Kevin left the flat to enjoy the sights of London.
They visited the shops and a nearby park. The two men turned a few heads from passerbys who did a double-take when they saw Kevin and Jason dressed as Bertie and Jeeves. They looked out of place in this modern day and age. Kevin smiled inwardly.
Kevin suddenly noticed a young woman up ahead along the sidewalk who looked very familiar from the back. No, thought Kevin, it can't be her. No way. Not here in London. What on earth would she be doing here?
Kevin tapped Jason on the arm.
"Yes, sir?" asked Jason.
"Jeeves, doesn't that woman over there look a lot like Traci?"
"I really could not say, sir. I only met the young lady briefly when we were at your studio last Christmas. It would be quite a coincidence for Miss Morgan to be here of all places when we are here on holiday."
"Yes, quite a coincidence indeed," said Kevin. He stared at the woman. "Maybe we can just quietly turn around and head back to the flat. I don't want to run into her if she really is Traci."
"Very good, sir," said Jason.
But it was too late. The young woman happened to turn around at that moment and saw Kevin and Jason.
"Kevin?" She was indeed Traci Morgan.
"Ah, hello, Traci. Good morning. Fancy running into you here in London of all places," said Kevin.
"Kevin, why are you speaking with an English accent?" said Traci. "You're from Ohio."
"Good morning, Miss Morgan," said Jason politely tipping his hat. Jason stayed in character by using his English accent and spoke in his most Jeeves-like manner.
"Jason?" Traci looked very confused. "What's going on here?"
"What brings you here to London, Traci?" asked Kevin, still is his Bertie-mode.
"I'm visiting my friend Daphne." Then Traci's eyes opened even larger. "Oh, my goodness. I think I know what's going on. Oh, Kevin! Poor, poor, dear sweet Kevin! You must have heard I had come to London, so you followed me in hopes of getting me to take you back! Really, Kevin. You shouldn't have come here. I've moved on, and so should you."
Shades of Madeline Bassett, thought Kevin.
"You've moved on?" asked Kevin.
"Yes. In fact, I'm having lunch today with my new boyfriend in an hour. I'd introduce you to him, only he's the jealous type. Wouldn't want him to meet you because I'm afraid he'll only want to give you a good thrashing."
Kevin glanced at Jason. Jason politely smiled.
"Well, it was very nice running into you, Traci. But Jason and I must be going. We have so much to do, and so little time to do it. Good-bye." Kevin quickly turned and walked away and Jason accompanied him.
Traci waved good-bye and watched them leave.
"Let's get out of her sight before she gets the crazy notion in her head that she wants me back!" said Kevin.
"Very good, sir," said Jason as they picked up the pace and quickly turned around a corner so that Traci could not see them.
Traci walked along for a few blocks until she reached her hotel. She rode the lift up to the third floor and entered one of the suites. Her parents were seated in the room.
"Oh, Mom! Oh, Dad!" cried Traci as she burst into tears.
"Traci, honey, what's wrong?" asked her mother.
"Kevin! I saw Kevin here in London!" blubbered Traci.
"Kevin? That police officer you told us about? The one who turned fruity last Christmas?"
"Y-yes! And he's still with that Jason! They're both here in London! I thought I could forget about Kevin, but it still hurts me when I see him, knowing that after dating me for a few months, he went and became gay!" Traci sobbed. "What does that say about me? Did I turn him completely off of women, so he decided to date men instead?"
"Where is he?" said Traci's father. "Fruit or no fruit, I'll teach him to make my baby girl cry! I'll make HIM cry!"
"Now, Robert, there's no need for violence," said Traci's mother. "Maybe it's all for the best. If Kevin's really gay, Traci is better off knowing now, rather than after getting too serious with him."
"I saw them both in the park a few minutes ago," said Traci. "Strange thing, though. They were speaking with English accents. And they were dressed funny."
Traci's parents looked at each other, puzzled expressions on their faces.
"What do you mean, 'dressed funny'?" asked Traci's mother.
"Suits and hats. Like way back in the old days," said Traci.
"Traci, dear, don't you worry," said Robert. "Your daddy's going to make things right for his baby girl. When you and Kevin were dating, just how closely did you both get?"
"Uh, what do you mean, Dad?"
"I'll be blunt, sweetheart," said Robert. "Be honest with me. Did you and Kevin sleep together? Have sex with each other?"
"Robert! That's a VERY personal question! Don't ask Traci that! She IS an adult, after all, and is entitled to her privacy!" said Traci's mother.
"Eleanor, please don't interrupt. I know what I'm doing. Well, Traci? Answer me."
Traci looked nervously at her parents. "Y-yes. We did."
"Well, I'm going to see to it that Kevin makes an honest woman of you. He's going to forget all about this nonsense with that Jason fellow and marry you."
"Robert!" cried Eleanor. "You can't be serious! Listen to yourself!"
"Dad, please don't! I already told Kevin that I've moved on and that I have a new boyfriend!"
"Why on earth did you do that?" asked Robert.
"I have my pride," said Traci. "I couldn't let him think I couldn't find someone new after he refused to get back together with me last Christmas."
"Traci, dear, it's no good living a lie," said Eleanor. "But, Robert, it's also no good to try to force Kevin into marrying Traci. You know it can't work if he really wants to be with Jason."
"Nonsense. He was just confused and curious about what it would be like to do it with men. Well, now that he's had some time to satisfy his curiosity, he can get back on the right track and marry our daughter. He'll see that it's all for the best. Believe me, he'll thank me for it afterward. I know what's best for these two kids."
Eleanor stared at Robert. She shook her head.
"Robert, I thought I knew you after being married to you for twenty-seven years. But I see I don't really know you as well as I thought I did."
Traci sat on the couch and wiped the tears from her face. "I don't know what I want to do. Maybe I should just forget about Kevin. But part of me still wants him."
Eleanor sat down next to her daughter and put her arm around Traci's shoulder.
"Honey," said Eleanor. "Could it be the only reason part of you still wants Kevin is because you know he's with Jason? If Kevin wasn't seeing anyone at all, would you even care? Wouldn't you instead be dating some other fellow? You're a very attractive young woman, and I've never known you to have trouble getting men to notice you."
Traci thought quietly for a few minutes.
"Just sleep on it, honey. And don't be in such a rush about relationships. You still have your whole life ahead of you to find the right person." Eleanor smiled at her daughter. She turned to her husband.
"Robert, promise me you'll stay away from Kevin and Jason. Let them enjoy their time here in London, and we'll enjoy ours. But leave those two young men ALONE."
"Eleanor, I can't promise any such thing. You know that."
"Robert, I mean it."
Later that afternoon in the London flat Kevin sat comfortably in an armchair while reading a newspaper. He looked up and suddenly saw Jason. Goodness, thought Kevin, he glides so quietly and efficiently just as Jeeves would do!
"Yes, Jeeves?"
"It's three o'clock, sir. You requested a massage for this appointed time. Do you still wish to have it?"
"Ah, yes, Jeeves! That would be delightful. Thank you." Kevin got up and headed for the bedroom followed by Jason.
Kevin removed his clothing and got onto the bed. He half-closed his eyes and watched Jason prepare for the massage.
Jason removed his black jacket and placed it on the back of the chair. He put on some soft, relaxing music and carefully lit an aromatherapy candle. He opened a bottle of scented oil and poured some into the palm of his left hand. Then he slowly rubbed both hands together to coat his palms evenly with the oil and proceeded to gently massage Kevin's back.
That music sounds very familiar, thought Kevin. Then he smiled. It was a lovely instrumental titled, "A Weekend in the Country" which he had first heard when he watched the episode "Jeeves in the Country". Jason must have downloaded the mp3 so he could play it here now.
Jason enjoyed pleasuring Kevin with the slow, gentle massage. Kevin reveled in the feeling of Jason's strong hands moving along his body in a loving manner. He started with the back of Kevin's neck, then moved on to his shoulders, his left arm, then his right arm, his back, his buttocks, his right leg, his left leg, then finally each foot.
He's too good to me, thought Kevin. What did I ever do to deserve having Jason come into my life and spoil me like this?
Kevin noticed the instrumental song had come to an end. Then it started again. Jason must have arranged to have it replay over and over during this massage session. Kevin smiled. Lovely, he thought. The last thing Kevin felt before he drifted off to sleep was Jason's lips gently kissing him on the forehead.
"Sleep well, sir," whispered Jason as he gently placed a coverlet over Kevin to keep him warm. Then he quietly donned his black jacket, snuffed out the candle, turned off the music, slipped out of the bedroom and gently closed the door behind him. Kevin dozed away while Jason tidied up the living room before he prepared dinner.
For the next four days Jason continued to maintain his Jeeves-persona as he waited on Kevin hand and foot. Kevin felt just a wee bit guilty because he never had to lift a finger around the flat. Jason did it all: the cleaning, the cooking, the laundry, the dusting, the grocery shopping, and he did it all with the professional demeanor that Jeeves would display. Kevin expected Jason to drop the act and be himself for just a moment to say something like, "You know, Kevin. It wouldn't hurt for you to pitch in a little, so I could get some rest for a change. I've been working like a dog ever since we arrived in London. And we ARE on holiday." But Jason never said such a thing to Kevin.
And when Jason would see that Kevin was comfortably tucked into bed for the night, he always asked him, "Will there be anything else, sir?" And Kevin would smile and reply, "No, thank you, Jeeves. It's been a perfect day. Good-night." And Jason would reply in his Jeeves-mode, "Good-night, sir," and politely smile as he left the main bedroom and gently closed the door.
Maybe he's waiting for me to say, 'Yes, Jeeves. I'd love for you to get into this bed with me right now so we can make mad, passionate love,' thought Kevin. But Bertie never did that in any of the episodes, so Kevin decided instead to let Jason make the first move. He wondered why Jason didn't try anything with him after giving Kevin that delicious massage. Perhaps he's making me wait to draw out the anticipation for as long as we both can possibly stand it, to make the big moment all the more great. Kevin smiled. Yes, I'll let him make the first move, he thought. Kevin closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, dreaming of Jason. Dear, sweet, handsome, tall, strong, muscular Jason who gave and gave so much to Kevin without asking for anything in return.
The next day while Jason went out to buy groceries, Kevin went out for a little stroll. That is, he thought it would be a little stroll. He had no idea what was in store for him on this particular day in London.
Jason looked over the selection of fresh produce. He was meticulous in his choice of healthful ingredients for the meals he prepared for Kevin. It was very easy for Jason to keep up this Jeeves-persona, for his love for Kevin ran deeply throughout his very soul, and he'd do anything to make him happy. He never said that to Kevin. He preferred to demonstrate it by his actions.
Kevin looked around where he now stood: the inside of a small church. He wasn't alone. Traci Morgan was standing at the altar. A nervous-looking vicar stood near Traci. And blocking both exits of the small church were Traci's father and her big strong brother Alex.
"Really, Traci," said Kevin. "You do come up with the craziest notions. A surprise wedding? What about this so-called boyfriend you told me about? The one who's so jealous that he'd give me a good thrashing if he ever saw me?
"You'll get a good thrashing from me if you don't do right by my little girl and make an honest woman of her!" shouted Robert Morgan. "You're not leaving this church until you both are bound in holy wedlock!"
Kevin could not believe the audacity of these Morgans. He had been taking his little stroll when a large blue van quickly pulled up, the door opened and two men grabbed him and dragged him inside the van, closed the door and sped away. A few minutes later they arrived at this small church where he was now expected to make a major life-changing decision: marry Traci Morgan or get his ass kicked by her father and her big brother. Both of these Morgan men looked they would take great pleasure in opening up an especially large can of whoop-ass for this occasion.
"There was no such boyfriend, Kevin," confessed Traci. "I just made him up so you wouldn't think I couldn't get someone after you wouldn't get back together with me last Christmas. But now we can start all over and be deliriously happy together in wedded bliss!"
Jason paid for his purchases and stepped out of the produce market. That's when he happened to glance up the street and saw Kevin being dragged into the blue van.
Jason quickly hailed a cab and offered a hefty tip if the driver would follow that blue van and not lose sight of it. The driver was only too happy to comply. So off they went to follow the van holding poor Kevin.
They're not expecting me, Jason thought when he got there, so the element of surprise would be on my side. He marched straight toward the front door of the small church and opened it. Everyone turned in surprise to see Jason enter the church.
Before anyone could say anything, Jason's voice clearly rang out for all to hear.
"So this is how you repay me, Kevin? I give and give and give without asking for anything in return, hoping you'd show me the slightest bit of affection, some crumb, anything! Instead I find you here about to marry your old girlfriend?! How could you?!"
"Jason, this isn't how it looks!" said Kevin.
Mr. Morgan smiled. A lovers' spat between these two is simply too good to miss, he thought. So he kept quiet and eagerly watched the expressions on the faces of Kevin and Jason.
"Don't lie to me, Kevin! I won't tolerate your lies!" Then Jason addressed Traci. "Well, Traci. Do you think you can treat him as well as I have? Kevin's grown accustomed to a certain way of life now. Haven't you, Kevin?"
A ray of light flashed inside Kevin's mind as he realized what Jason doing. He smiled and turned to Traci.
"Yes, I have. Traci, don't expect me to pick up after myself around the house, or do anything to help with any of the household chores. That's your department. You'll be doing ALL of the cleaning, dusting, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, mowing the lawn, raking the leaves, cleaning the rain gutters, and errands of whatever sort I may need. And I expect you to do it all with a smile on your face, a cheerful demeanor and not a word of complaint. Not even when I leave my wet bath towels on the floor or whiskers in the sink after I shave or if I leave the toilet seat up. Got it? You are to wait on me hand and foot. After all, that's what I've experienced from Jason, and so I'll not settle for anything less."
Traci's mouth dropped open as she stared at Kevin. She angrily threw her flower bouquet to the floor and stormed out of the church, her father and brother following. Mr. Morgan glanced back at Jason and Kevin, gave them both a dirty look and ran outside to follow Traci. He dreaded the wrath he'd have to face from Eleanor after she learns what he'd tried to do here.
They waited for a couple of minutes to make sure the Morgans had left. Jason and Kevin assured the vicar that his services would no longer be required today as far as performing a marriage ceremony.
"Jason, I can't recall ever being more happy to see you than just now when you burst into that church," said Kevin as they rode in the cab headed back to the flat.
Jason smiled and went into his Jeeves-mode. "The timing was indeed most fortunate, sir. Oh, I believe you'll enjoy the dinner I'll be preparing for you this evening." He showed Kevin the bag of fresh produce he still carried with him.
Kevin peered inside the bag. "Mmm. I can't wait to see what culinary treat you'll present to me then. Ah, Jeeves, what on earth would I do without you?"
Jason didn't say anything. He just smiled and thought to himself how he didn't want to imagine his life without Kevin. Dear, sweet, adorable, pretty Kevin with the delicate face of an angel. Those blue eyes, that fine golden blond hair, that irresistible cute little butt and that wiry, thin figure.
The dinner Jason served Kevin was delicious, as were all the previous meals he'd prepared for him.
That night when Kevin settled into bed, Jason asked him once again, "Will there be anything else, sir?"
"Yes, Jeeves," replied Kevin. He looked up at Jason and gazed into his brown eyes. He smiled and patted the other side of the bed to indicate he didn't want to sleep alone tonight.
Jason smiled. "Sir? Are these sheets not to your liking? There is a fresh set of linens in the closet. It would take only a few minutes for me to change the--"
But before he could finish speaking, Kevin's mouth was covering his and kissing him passionately.
"Get into this bed with me right now, you marvelous gem, you," whispered Kevin into his ear. "I want you tonight and for any other night you'll allow me to share with you."
Jason gazed into Kevin's eyes and grinned. This was indeed the best holiday ever.
