You Know You’re A Ghost Hunter
a lot funnier when read with a Jeff Foxworthy accent.
- If the power goes out and
you pull out nighttime goggles and digital recorders.
- If you have more camera
and photography equipment than a Japanese tourist.
- If your trips always
involve staying in the closest available haunted hotel, inn or bed and
- If you get a new camera
and immediately ditch the strap.
- If you have more photos
of orbs and apparitions than you have of your relatives.
- If you’re watching a
haunted house movie and gripe about the inaccuracies.
- If you’re ever entered
the local library and automatically know where the books on the paranormal
- If you’ve ever remained
standing in a spooky old house as your friends run screaming from the scene.
- If you’ve ever become
giddy by the sound of a creaking floorboard.
- If the hot star of the
haunted house movie you’re watching sheds their clothes and you’re
wondering where the ghost is.
- If you’ve ever entered
a long debate about the most haunted location in the USA.
- If you have a night
vision camera constantly taping you when you sleep.
- If someone starts telling
a ghost story and you finish it with the date, the time, the location and
the witnesses involved.
- If your newest electronic
toy is a EMF detector.
- If the ladies at the
local historical society know you by name and gave you your own key.
- If you keep Zak Bagans
and Aaron Goodwin on your speed dial.
- If you cried when
“Ghost Lab” was cancelled on Discovery Channel.
- If you keep your EMF
detector next to the remote for the TV.
- If you’re constantly
buying and hoarding fresh batteries.
- If you’ve ever hauled a
load of equipment to a funeral.
- If you’ve timed
yourself on how long it takes to replace the batteries in your camera.
- If you ever been launched
into a rant by someone asking if “The Amityville Horror” was based on a
- If you have permanent
indents in your head from nighttime goggles.
- If there’s a
restraining order keeping you out of the local cemetery at night.
- If you have a sculpture
of a haunted house on your desk with tiny plastic ghosts in it.
- If the cast of “Ghost
Hunters” is on your Christmas card list.
- If you spend more time
talking to your kid’s invisible friend than they do.
- If you’re deleting
music from your I-Pod to make room for more EVPs.
- If your heroes are Hans
Holzer, John Zaffis, Lloyd Auerbach, William G. Roll or Jason Hawes.
- If your attention is
always diverted by deserted and abandoned old houses.
- If you’re still trying
to get your hands on one of those proton accelerator packs from the movie,
- If you keep your infrared
camera in a holster on your belt.
- If you’re ever caught
yourself drooling at the new investigation gadgets or books on the
paranormal at the local bookstore.
- If instead of
trick-or-treating with your kids or giving candy on Halloween, you spend
your time taping a brand new paranormal research documentary.
- If you’ve ever chased a
Bigfoot Hunter or UFO researcher out of a patch of haunted forest.
- If you’ve seen at least
every major haunted house movie at least ten times.
- If you have a photo of
James Randi on the dartboard of your office.