Sometime the next day, Louise began to murmur and thrash in her sleep as her fever raged higher and higher.  Horrible coughing fits would wrack her tiny frame leaving her lying weakly against the pillows, her eyes staring blankly at things the others couldn't see.

Broxson listened grimly as Lou coughed not liking the sound one bit.  He looked around at the woman and men stnding around the room.  Rachel sat across from him on the bed, gently dabbing at the sweat on Lou's face with a cold, wet towel.  Danny Keaggy sat on the chair by the window, his lips moving in silent prayer as his hands clutched a wooden rosary.  Kid stood at the foot of the bed, holding Louise's sleeping son in his arms.  The man didn't pray, he didn't speak, he merely watched the woman on the bed, his eyes dark and haunted.  Emmett Broxson knew that his patient was well loved, he could see that in these men's devotion.  Neither had slept nor eaten since they'd returned from Silverbirch with Louise.  Kid looked more lost than the doctor had ever seen the man and Broxson had seen these riders in a lot of bad situations, most of them nearing death on several occasions.

The doctor looked back to Lou as she began to get restless, her head moving back and forth on the pillow recklessly.  She mumbled to herself as she tossed, her tossings becoming more and more violent until he and Rachel were forced to hold her down.

"What's wrong?  What's happening?" Kid asked sharply, his eyes suddenly aware as he watched.

Rachel tried stroking Lou's hair and whispering soothingly to her, but the woman continued to become increasingly more agitated.

"She's hallucinating," Broxson said.  "The fever's rising."

Suddenly, Louise began striking out against the doctor and Rachel's restraining hands.  When Rachel barely ducked one of Lou's flying fists, Kid came forward, passing the stirring Lexi into her arms as he took her place.  "Shh, Lou, it's okay.  It's just me," he soothed.

"No!" she screamed, thrashing blindly.  "Don't touch me!  I won't let you.  Wicks, let me go!"

"The nightmares are starting again," Danny mumbled.  "She's not hallucinating, she's dreaming."

Kid's head came up to glare at him but Danny offered no other explanation.  Lou's movements grew stronger and more desperate as he increased the pressure of his grip on her wrists.  He didn't want to hurt her but if this kept up, she'd hurt the doctor or toss herself right out of the bed she was lying in.

"Keep a good hold on her, Kid while I grab something to help her sleep," Broxson said.  He let go of his hold on Louise and quickly moved away to his bag on the dresser.

"Let me go you bastard!  I won't let you do this to me again!"

Booted footsteps echoed on the stairs.  Jimmy was first into the room, his gun drawn.  The expression on his face saying he was ready to confront anything that might be hurting Lou.  Teaspoon and the others pushed into the room behind him as his eyes strayed to Kid holding Lou as she thrashed against him.  "What the hell's goin' on up here?" Jimmy asked.

"We heard Lou scream," Buck panted.  He lowered his own weapon, seeing that there were no intruders in the house.

Lou's fist connected with Kid's jaw as she tossed.  He struggled to get a grip on her hands again.  "Help me hold her before she hurts herself," Kid ground out.

As the riders moved to hold her limbs down, Lou's cries and screams turned into fearful whimpers and sobs.  "Please," she cried.  "Please don't hurt me, Wicks!"

Having mixed the laudanum, the doctor quickly maneuvered his way into the group.  "Hold her head up so I can get her to drink this," he said.  Kid moved so that he was sitting behind her on the bed, his arms wrapped around her torso.  He held her tightly as Broxson forced the laudanum down her throat.  In a matter of moments, Lou's struggles began to ease up and the men slowly loosened their grips on her.

"I think it'd be best if the rest of you waited downstairs," the doctor muttered.  "Rachel, I may need you still and I know I couldn't pry Kid from this room, but the rest of you need to go.  I don't need all of ya tryin' to cram into this room while I work with my patient."

The former riders filed out soundlessly as Kid slowly lowered Lou's torso to the bed, gently placing her hands on her chest.  Danny slowly moved passed the bed toward the door, his shoulder accidentally brushing Kid's.  At the touch, Kid's arm shot out, grabbing Danny's wounded arm in a tight grip.

"What're you doin', Travis?" Danny ground out, his face grimacing in pain.  "That's my hurt arm there!"

Kid's eyes were stone cold as they met Danny's.  "Who's Wicks?" he asked softly, his voice hard.  When Danny didn't answer, Kid tightened his grip and shook the arm he held slightly.

"Kid...." Rachel warned.

"Who...is...Wicks?" Kid asked again.  "Answer me Keaggy or so help me God...."

"What, you gonna shoot the other arm too, Kid?" Danny said accusingly.  "I'm not answerin' because I can't tell you that."

Broxson turned from the bag he was repacking to see the two men staring each other down.  He raised his hands slightly, a neutral expression on his face.  "Kid, let the man go, son," he said cautiously.

Kid growled slightly.  He was sick and tired of this man.  Ever since Keaggy had shown up in town, he'd felt like there were secrets between Danny and Lou, secrets that didn't include him and in a childish way, Kid hated feeling excluded.  And now it seemed that their secrets had taken a dangerous turn.  "I'm so damned tired of these secrets between you two," he said.  "Now, whatever secrets you two got could have to do with whoever shot Lou and set fire to Silverbirch.  Those secrets are threatenin' Lexi's life and I've got every right to know them.  I can't protect my family if I don't know what I'm protectin' them from!"

Danny wrenched his arm from Kid's grasp.  "They aren't your family Kid!" he insisted in a loud voice.  "Yes, Lexi's your son, but this isn't anything that can hurt him. It happened long ago and it isn't his secret or mine; it's Lou's.  You can't protect them from everything and you sure as hell can't protect her from her own past.  Only she can tell you."

Kid watched in anger and confusion as Danny slipped from the room without telling him who Wicks was.  The doctor followed shortly leaving only Rachel, Lexi, and Kid in Louise's sick room.  Rachel approached Kid's stiff back, the baby in her arms beginning to whimper in response to the tension in the room.  She reached a hand out to stroke his shoulder comfortingly.  He flinched slightly at the contact, turning to look at her.  His blue eyes were wide and worried, his soul totally open to her for brief seconds before being hidden behind a thin veil of control.

"What isn't she tellin' me, Rachel?" he asked, his voice sounding small even to him.  "What is it that's so terrible she hasn't told me?"  Lexi was reaching his arms out to his father, demanding attention and Kid automatically cuddled him close, his lips brushing the fine, sandy hair with just a hint of curl that covered the baby's head.  The smell of talcum powder and milk and something definitively "baby" met Kid's nose, offering him a small measure of comfort.  Secrets, questions, threatening letters....  What the hell was going on?

Rachel's eyes melted, knowing the confusion he felt.  However, she better than anyone understood the secret things a woman carried throughout her life.  "Kid, all you boys, and Lou, too have things, dark things, in your pasts that have made you who you are.  For whatever reasons you may have, I'm sure there's things that you haven't shared with Lou--things you're embarassed about, things that are too painful to talk about," she said gently.  She could see the haunted look in his eyes increase by a minute measure before he nodded grimly.  "She's got her reasons, hon.  But, if you love her, you'll be there for her no matter what, even if she never tells you.  You gotta let her trust you again."

"I'd be happy if she'd just wake up," Kid said sadly.  His eyes brimmed slightly as he raised them to meet Rachel's, shifting Lexi in his arms.  "We need her."  He swallowed hard and looked at her, suddenly seeing the worry and exhaustion lines on Rachel's face.  "Go get some sleep, Rachel.  You've done more than enough.  She's just sleepin' now and I can sit with her.  I...I heard somewhere that women needed a lotta sleep when they were...ya know...expectin'."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Rachel sighed, thinking it may not be wise for him to be alone at the moment.  Then a thought occurred to her as she gathered up the linens and things the doctor had needed.  "I'm gonna send Theresa up here to see Louise now that she's sleepin'," she said quietly.  She reached to stroke Lou's cheek lovingly.  "Teaspoon told me the poor little thing hasn't slept since we brought Lou back.  She just keeps to Jimmy downstairs on the davenport."

Kid had forgotten all about Tessa and felt a pang of guilt at the thought.  The little girl had already lost so many people in her life.  She must be terrified now that she may lose her only sister.  "Oh, Lord, I forgot about Tessa," he muttered.  "Yeah, send her up Rachel, please.  She shoulda been here before."

Rachel nodded with a small smile and left the room as Kid sank to a seat at the bedside.

The men were all gathered in the parlor again--or, more appropriately, still after the night they'd had--discussing the legal aspects of what had happened.  Each looked haggard and drawn, their worry keeping them awake and seeming to add years onto their young faces.  Teaspoon had told them all about the letter they'd found threatening Lexi and Theresa and that it had appeared there had been more before it.

<We've gotta find out who did this> Ike signed, angrily.
 
Teaspoon sighed, rubbing a hand over his grizzled face.  "After lunch I'll start askin' around, see if anyone knows anything or saw anyone out at the homestead," he said.

"We oughta start with Laura Wilson and Tom Anderson," Jimmy spoke up.  "Mighty convenient how those two who hate Lou just happened to show up out there.  What's a woman in Laura's condition doin' ridin' at night alone?"

"Good question," Buck replied.  "I wouldn't trust that woman any further than I can spit--which ain't all that far."

"I'll agree that it's mighty peculiar that Miss Wilson'd be out and about in her condition at that time of night, but that don't mean she's guilty.  You gotta have proof of these things, Jimmy, before ya can go convictin' a body.  Okay now, boys," Teaspoon said, launching into marshal-mode, "what kinda evidence we got so far?"  He eased himself into his armchair near the fireplace.

"Well, we got that letter Rachel found and we've got that scene between Lou and Anderson in town," Noah stated.

Buck raised a finger.  "And don't forget that scene out at Silverbirch that day when he kissed her," he pointed out.

Teaspoon nodded.  "And we got what happened yesterday at lunch, that shockin' piece of news Miss Wilson dropped on Kid.  So, Noah, you and me'll go talk to the Wilsons while the rest of ya head on over to Anderson's place," he decided.  "Time we figured out just what the hell's goin' on in this town."

Exhausted from holding her back after being awake for the past thirty-six hours, Kid slumped into the chair by Lou's bedside after a particularly violent episode.  He reached over and gently kissed Lou's forehead, closing his eyes as he decided it was cooling.  The fever was finally receeding.

Theresa had stayed in Lou's room with him for the last couple of hours, helping wherever she could.  Kid and Tessa had formed a bond in those hours as they both alternated between praying, caring for Lou, and supporting one another through little touches and weak but encouraging smiles.  Kid smiled at the strength the little girl possessed.  Just like Lou, he thought.  He watched as she played with Lexi on the floor.  Tessa was trying to coax the baby into crawling to her as he sat on his hands and knees.  The baby for his part was trying hard to do what his aunt wanted, but it was going to take some practice for him to coordinate his body's movements.

The others had each taken a turn trying to coax him away from Lou's bedside, but he couldn't leave her.  He wouldn't leave Lou, not when she finally needed him.  So, he'd held her as her fits came on, as she called out names both familiar and strange.  He knew she was reliving the night of Korsacov's murder and her brother's death as she hellucinated but there were other names she mentioned, names Kid didn't recognize.  One in particular seemed to resonate with fear, loathing, and hatred.  Who was Simon Wicks and what had he done to Lou that made her tremble and fight against his own gentle hands?

Kid jumped as a hand landed on his shoulder.  He whirled to find Danny Keaggy's haggard face peering at him from behind the stubble that was testimony to his own worry.

"Take a rest, Kid.  I'll watch her for a while," Danny said softly.

Kid shook his head vigorously, his jaw tightening stubbornly.  "I can't," he replied.  "She needs me."

"Take a rest, Kid," Keaggy reiterated strongly.  "You won't do her any good if you collapse from exhaustion."

Reluctantly, Kid moved from his perch at her bedside to the chair sitting by the window.  Glancing outside, he was startled to find it was mid-afternoon, the spring sun shining warmly down on the station.  "Teaspoon and the others find anything out?" he asked absently.

"No, they're not back yet.  Rachel's back was hurting so I assured her we could take care of things while she took a nap.  Oh, I almost forgot."  Danny pulled a piece of paper out of the sling where he'd tucked it and passed it over to a confused Kid.  "Laura came by and left you a note."

Kid scanned the contents.  Basically, it read how worried she was about Louise's health, how sorry she was that she'd had to break the news the way she had yesterday.  It also stated that she wanted to meet with Kid to talk about their situation, once the doctor was more certain about Lou's recovery.  Annoyed, Kid folded the note and stashed it in his pants pocket.  I can't think about this now, he thought.  There's too much going on.  Suddenly, he looked at Danny, sitting by Lou's bedside.  Danny was Lou's oldest friend, if anyone could help him, he could.  The question was would he?

"Who's Wicks?"

The question shattered the silence like gunfire.  Keaggy concentrated on mopping Lou's brow as his heart began to pound.  "We've already discussed that and I told you it's not my secret to tell," he said.

Kid's observant eyes noted the tension in the other man's shoulders at the mention of the name.  "Who is he, Danny?  What did he do to Lou?" he demanded harshly.  "I can't help her if I don't know!  Is she in some kind of trouble?"

"I can't tell you, Travis!  If she didn't tell you then she didn't want you to know."

"Won't tell me you mean," Kid spat back.  He crossed the room and gripped Keaggy's good shoulder.  "Now you listen here, I'm just tryin' to make things right, to protect her and my son.  Now, if there's a possibility that this Wicks fella might wanna hurt them then dammit I have a right to know!"

The conflict within Danny was more than evident in his emerald eyes.  Does he tell Kid the truth, which would ultimately be for the best, and alienate Lou's trust?  Or does he keep her secret and let her torture herself further until one day it shatters her life?

"If somethin' happens to Lexi or Tessa, I hope to God you can live with yourself!" Kid snapped, gesturing toward the two children on the floor watching the confrontation with wide eyes.

Danny looked at their innocent faces and sighed deeply.  "Forgive me, kitten, but it's time to bury the past," he whispered.  "What happened with Wicks happened long before she met you, but it's haunted her ever since.  She shoulda told you herself, but she was so afraid you'd see her differently--as 'spoiled goods' she said."

"How do you know what happened then," Kid asked jealously.

"Because I was the one who found her," Keaggy said sadly.  "When we left the orphanage I was fifteen, she was just barely fourteen.  We looked long and hard for jobs and were secretly sleeping in the stables at night, stealin' food during the day.  One day this man Wicks found us.  He gave me a job in his saloon pourin' drinks and took Lou to one of his other 'establishments' to do laundry.  When I found out she was workin' in a whorehouse, I tried to convince her to run away with me and we'd find somethin' else.  She'd already signed the contract, though, already signed her life over to that bastard."

The vehemence in Danny's voice added to the tension in Kid's body as he mentally prepared himself for the worst.  Doesn't matter what she was or what she did to survive, he thought, I'll still love her even if....

But Danny had continued his story.  "One night, about a year later, I was heading to the house to meet her.  Wicks trusted me to take her out for rides and bring her back, so we'd been meeting to go riding at night after she'd gotten all her chores done.  When I got down to her room in the basement, Charlotte, Louise's friend, was already there trying to open the door that had been locked from the outside."

Danny's voice faltered and he swallowed hard, images of that night creeping into his vision.  "He'd forced himself on her," he whispered.  "He'd beat her up and then locked her in her own room.  She was completely naked on the floor when we walked in, curled in on herself in the tightest little ball she could get into.  She wouldn't let me leave after we cleaned her up.  Charlotte and I put her on the first stage for St. Louis the next morning," he ended softly.

During the telling, Kid had sunk to his knees beside the bed in shock and horror.  He balled his fists up tight until he could feel his nails digging into the skin of his palm.  The pain felt good.  It kept him from completely embarassing himself by throwing up what little food he'd had recently.  "Oh, God, she was just a little girl," he groaned.  He looked toward Theresa and noticed that although tears had sprung to her eyes, the little girl wasn't shocked or horrified at the story.  Kid realized that she'd known the story as well.  Everything made sense now--why Lou'd risk so much pretending to be a boy to join the Express, why she was so guarded and tried to shrink into herself if any man paid her the least little attention.  "Who could do that to a little girl?" Kid asked.

"I shoulda been there for her," Danny moaned as the guilt threatened to overwhelm him.  He gulped, sniffed, and continued with the story.  "She swore me to secrecy despite the fact that I tried to get her to tell you the truth.  Lou told me all about your relationship when we re-met in Denver.  When you courted that Southern lady, after Lou'd turned you down, in her mind, it just pointed out what had happened to her--reminded her that she hadn't been honest, that she wasn't the innocent you thought she was."  He looked at Kid, his eyes sympathetic towards him for the first time since they'd met.  "Lou didn't turn you down because she didn't love you, she turned you down because she was scared and didn't think she deserved you because she wasn't the refined lady you always wanted her to be."

How was he going to make this all up to her, Kid thought.  Over a year's worth of maturity gained through heartache had shown him the folly of his choices then.  If he'd just followed his heart instead of his head, he could've been by her side this whole time.

"She loves you, you know," Theresa said softly.  "You can see it in her eyes--they get all glittery and stuff when she sees you.  It's hard to believe my sister's gone through so much, and just so she could find us all a place and we could be a family."  She stood and crossed over to Kid's side, her hazel eyes wide and trusting.  "Would you help us, Kid?" she asked innocently.

Kid looked from Tessa to Danny seeing just a quick flash of jealousy in the green eyes before the redhead covered it up.  "I'll, uh, do what I can, Tessa, but what you're meanin' for me to do...well, that's up to Lou, sweetheart, not just me," Kid said awkwardly.  "I'd love nothin' more than to win back her trust but...."

Theresa's eyes lit up and she fairly bounced in excitement.  "I'll help you!" she cried.  "It'll be our little secret just us.  Please, Kid, you two should get to live happily ever after."

"Happily ever after?" he asked incredulously, wondering what in the world he'd gotten himself into with this girl.

"Yeah, like in the storybooks.  Like that Romeo and Juliet couple," Tessa replied certainly.

Danny couldn't help but smile at the irony in the girl's comparison.  "Tessa, honey, in the story, Romeo and Juliet killed themselves," he corrected her.  "That story ends very badly."

"Alright," the girl sighed, "so it's like the backwards version of that story.  The point is, that you and my sister love each other even if ya won't admit it to each other.  You should be together and Danny, Rachel, and me are just the ones to help give ya a little nudge.  I'm very sneaky when I wanna be."

"That's true, she's pretty sneaky," Danny replied.  The idea of being able to help engineer the reunion of these two people who were obviously fated for each other intrigued the Irish in Danny.  "Ya know, the Irish are well known for their matchmakin' skills."

Kid mulled it over a moment, glancing at Lou's still sleeping form.  Court her, Jimmy said.  "Alright then, let's do it," he said suddenly.  "After she wakes up of course."

"Of course," Theresa replied, smiling broadly between Kid and Danny.  This is going to be fun, she thought excitedly.
 

Chapter 20