Lou rode away from the old station with absolutely no destination in mind.  In fact there was little in her mind at all except the hurt and betrayal she felt, the anger that blocked out all traces of coherent thought.  The only sensation that impressed itself at all on her was the feel of Lightning's sure hooves pounding crescent moons into the soft earth as they galloped away.  How long she rode she had no idea, nor how much time passed between the moment Laura's...situation had come to light.  God, she couldn't even bring herself to think the words, but she forced herself to anyway.  Laura Wilson was pregnant with Kid's child.

Finally admitting the thought to herself was like releasing a damn.  The floodwaters exploded forth in her head and heart and she yanked on the reins, jerking Lightning to a halt somewhere out on the prairie.  She nearly fell from the saddle at the suddenness of it all.  Everything she'd never dared admit she hoped for, all the unconscious dreams she'd had of uniting Kid with his son and them all becoming a family, they were all shattered in one horrible moment.  Lou slid from the saddle, tripping over her skirt so that she fell onto her hands and knees.  Instead of getting up she remained where she was, staring out over the grass that stretched as far as the eye could see.  Her hands were scraped by the rocks in the soil, but she didn't feel the cuts.  The sky had darkened with heavy storm clouds and dusk but she paid the dimness no mind.  She'd never felt so completely and totally alone before, not when her ma had died, not even when she'd run away from the orphannage and left Jeremiah and Theresa behind.  There was no past, no future, only the pain she felt.  It wasn't fair!

"It's not fair!" Lou screamed at the sky.  "God, why?  I did the best I could.  I gave up who I was just to protect my honor after Wicks.  I worked hard, and you brought Kid into my life and I thought I'd finally made it.  There was no way I could marry him when I wasn't ready and so I did the hardest thing I've ever done and set him free.  He fell for Samantha and I left to start over again but You gave me Lexi.  And I thought, 'Now, now I can relax and just live.'  But then You took away 'Miah and Tanner and my self respect all over again."

She was sobbing now as she railed at God, shouting out how unjust her life had been.  "I couldn't believe it when Rachel wanted me to come back and when the boys had forgiven me for leaving," Lou continued.  "And things were so good!  Kid loved Lexi and we were friends again.  Then things got better and I thought that maybe he still felt something for me.  I'd just gotten my hope back when You let this happen!  Where were You in all this, huh?  Why didn't You stop it or stop me or stop somebody?  I promised You that night that I'd change that I'd live my life better and I have but where's it gotten me?  Alone again.  Always alone.  Damn you it just ain't fair!"

There was a flash of thunder across the sky, not menacing, but merely there.  The thunder that followed the flash was no divine omen of imminent doom or destruction.  No fire from heaven would smite Lou for railing at God.  It was but a reminder that there was something greater than herself, a plan in motion.  Her anger at the Divine melted swiftly, replaced by sorrowful, repentant tears which quickly turned to great huge sobs of heartache.  Lou curled into a ball on the ground and cried as the raindrops began to fall on her like a parent's caresses.
 

Laura Wilson smiled as she heard the thunder rolling across the prairie.  She loved storms and sure enough, there'd be one in nature to match the storm she'd created this afternoon.  The Wilson's hadn't stayed to view the results of their visit.  Mayor Wilson had discerned very quickly that havoc was about to break out at the station and he'd wisely gathered his family up and returned to their home in Sweetwater.  Laura had gone to her room, complaining of nausea and had snuck out shortly after dinner was started so her occupied parents wouldn't see her.  The whole afternoon's events had excited her in an incredible way and she'd decided to meet Tom at their rendezvous point.

Laura descended the small hill and approached the under-construction two-story house.  Anderson's brown Morgan was hitched out front and he sat in the rocking chair on the porch awaiting her arrival.  The whole scene seemed so natural to her that she had to smile.  Silverbirch, she though triumphantly.  No one knew of her secret rendezvous with Anderson, let alone would have imagined them using Silverbirch as their own without Louise McCloud ever finding out.

"Well, now don't you look like the cat that swallowed the canary, sugar?" Anderson said amusedly as she slid from the saddle into his arms.

"That's because I have had a wonderful day," Laura replied slipping her arms around Tom's neck and kissing him enthusiastically.  "The next step is under way," she whispered in his ear.

Anderson laughed at her antics and pulled her tight against him.  "Well, why don't you come inside and tell me how good your day was," he suggested with a lascivious grin that told her he had more than talking in mind.  "We can talk all night if ya want."

Laura turned toward the front porch, leading him by the hand as she walked backwards.  "Now that is the best idea you've ever had, Tommy," she replied sweetly.

They ventured inside and into the large main room.  There was no furniture yet, but Anderson had started a fire in the hearth and spread out the blankets they'd always brought with them.  It wasn't the most romantic place in the world but it wasn't romance that the two lovers were interested in.

"Did you put that other letter where I told you to?" Laura asked, pulling her golden hair down from its pins.  "In the baby's cradle in the main house?"

Tom sat on the blankets and pulled her down to sit on his lap, his hands wandering impatiently.  "Yes, of course, sugar.  Have I ever not done somethin' you wanted?  I walked right upstairs while Travis and that wench were inside that bunkhouse of theirs.  When I came down, I thought I'd sneak a little peak at what they was up to and there they were goin' at it in front of the fire," he replied as his fingers sought out the buttons on her blouse.

"They were what?!" Laura exclaimed, pushing Tom's hands away.

"They were foolin' around," Tom replied with an impatient look.  "Looked pretty cozy to me, but it ain't them I'm interested in right now."

After a moment, Laura smiled seductively at her lover.  "Don't matter anyway," she said.  "After this afternoon, they'll be lucky if they're speakin' to each other."  Just the thought excited her and she kissed Tom hard and passionately.

When they broke away, Anderson was curious about Laura's incredibly good mood.  "What did you do, darlin'?" he asked with a smile.

Laura placed one dainty hand on his mouth silencing him.  "Later, lover," she said softly.  She lay back onto the blankets, pulling him with her, giggling as he began kissing the ticklish spots on her neck.
 

Jimmy wearily led Sundancer into the yard intent on caring for his horse before he ate and went to bed.  After Lou had left them all in confusion it had been all Teaspoon and the others could do to keep him from choking the life out of Kid.  He'd been so angry at his onetime best friend.  If he'd had any chance with Lou at all, Jimmy would never have made the decisions Kid had.  He'd have done anything he possibly could to keep Lou, and Kid had done the exact opposite it seemed.  The man had no idea the gift he was giving up.  Danny had asked Jimmy to go after Louise, just to make sure she was safe.  The empty look on her face as she left had worried them all and Teaspoon had sent Rachel to bed to rest while the others tried to figure out what had happened and what to do about it.  Jimmy had left immediately and looked everywhere for Lou but she was nowhere to be found.  As he'd ridden, his concern for the woman of primary importance, his explosive rage at Kid had faded into a dull anger, the kind of anger he could control.

As he dismounted, the light from the buildings fell on a forlorn figure standing out by the far corral in the dark.  Jimmy shook his head as he recognized Kid's slumped and dejected form staring off in the direction Lou's left.  The rain that had begun earlier that afternoon had steadily incresed from drizzles to a moderately heavy rain.  Jimmy's slicker and pants were soaked and he could see that Kid was drenched to the bone without a dry spot on him.  He sighed and shook his head, feeling almost guilty for his anger.  Obviously, Kid was torn up and he doubted if the man had left the spot Jimmy had last seen him in as he left the station that afternoon.

"Ya know, Rachel'll have your hide for standin' out in the rain like this," Jimmy ventured, unsure of how else to approach Kid.  He made his way over to Kid's side and leaned up against the corral railing.  Kid never acknowledged his approach at all, merely continuing to stare out into the darkness.  "Probably dose you up with that mustard poultice of hers and you know how bad that stuff smells."

"She cheated on me Jimmy."  He glanced over at his friend's lanky form and was slightly relieved to know Jimmy wasn't intent on killing him at the moment.  Kid had stood there all afternoon thinking about his life, the choices he'd made.  Most of them, he'd never change but all the ones he'd made regarding Lou...he'd give anything to change very last one of them, except loving her.  He'd never regret loving her, ever.  "I did everything right this time, Jimmy.  I courted her, I was patient and understanding, didn't let it go too far before everythin' was legal and she cheated on me!"

The look on Kid's face told Jimmy that it wasn't so much that Laura had cheated on him but that he'd done everything differently from when he and Lou were together and he still lost the girl.  And now he'd lost Lou as well.  Jimmy had always been envious of the bevy of girls who'd been attracted to Kid.  Oh, he had plenty of experience, plenty of his own admirers, but women were attracted to Kid because he was good-looking, sweet, and proper.  Lou'd told Jimmy once that men tended to be one or the other of those, not too many had all three characteristics.  Kid was the perfect compromise:  he was the good-looking cowboy that romantically minded women liked as well as the proper down-to-earth boy that parents liked.  Now, Jimmy didn't envy Kid any of what he was going through.

"So, we'll tell the truth and clear everythin' up," Jimmy offered by way of advice.  "Lou'll come around in time, just give her a few days to get it all out of her system like always."

Kid cast a sad smile his way.  "It ain't that easy, Jimmy," he sighed.  "Laura's pregnant.  She'd already told her parents it's mine and soon the whole towns gonna know, if they don't already, that she's expectin'.  Even if I could convince her folks we were never close like that, with Lexi around, it'll still look like I'm the father. Lou thinks I betrayed her and she's right."

"So, you two did 'dance'?"

"No, never!" Kid said loudly in frustration.  "I should never have pushed Lou, should never have proposed.  I was just so scared of us gettin' in trouble and I didn't want anyone to think that way of her.  When she wasn't ready, I should've waited, but I let my pride run my life.  I figured if she didn't want me, I'd just find someone who did.  But the whole time I was with Samantha, everything reminded me of Lou."  He laughed slightly.  "That thing I was so worried would happen did anyway, only I wasn't there with her when it did.  She went through it all all alone and I'll never forgive myself for that."

Jimmy looked down at the ground.  He couldn't look at Kid.  The things Kid had just said, just admitted were too personal.  Jimmy could almost feel his friend's heart breaking in the silence.  They'd been through a lot the two of them, they'd fought and made up, never quite seeing eye-to-eye on anything, but always remaining friends.  In the almost two and a half years they'd known each other, the riders had become more than friends, they were family.  Always, it had been Kid and Lou, Lou and Kid.  The two names were inseparable as were the people in Jimmy's mind.  He couldn't imagine one without the other.  "You two belong together," Jimmy said quietly.

"Hmm?" Kid asked sending a curious look over.

"You and Lou," Jimmy replied, "you belong together."

"Try telling her that for me will ya?"  A slight shudder ran through Kid as he finally felt the lowered temperature and the cold rain that had soaked him to the skin.  Good Lord, it's almost night, he thought just now realizing the light level.  But where was Lou?  She'd left hours ago and there was still no sign of her.  God, he hoped she was alright.  Maybe she was holed up somewhere out of the rain.  Maybe she'd gone into town and stayed at the hotel for the night.  Maybe she'd gotten ambushed riding alone out there in her altered state of mind.  Maybe....

"AAGH!  What am I gonna do, Jimmy?  How do I get her back?" Kid said suddenly, turning towad Jimmy for the first time.

Jimmy smiled slightly and looked Kid in the eye as he replied, "Court her."

Kid looked at Hickok in confusion.

"What, you expected her to just jump right into your arms and say, 'Let's go upstairs,' after all you two've been through?"  Jimmy laughed.  "You had it easy the first time, pal.  Lou couldn't show interest in anyone else because she was supposed to be a boy.  You had a captive audience, but now, well, now Lou's all woman and a damn fine one at that.  You gotta treat her like the lady she is.  Put in some effort to win her back."

Kid rolled his eyes.  "Jimmy, it ain't like we just met.  I mean I've been with her, ya know.  Hell, we've got a son together.  I think we're past the hand holdin' and parlor talkin' stage," he said in a low voice.

"Fact is Kid, you two ain't never been at that stage.  You jumped right into livin' and workin' together and bypassed all that stuff that comes first--the stuff you did with Samantha and Laura," Hickok replied.  "What always bothered Lou was that it was one thing or the other with you.  Either she was one of the boys or she was this delicate thing you had to protect.  You two never really understood each other even though you were in love.  What I'm sayin' is find out who she is and let her find out who you are.  A lot's happened in the last year and maybe you oughta start at the beginning and go through all the steps without skippin' any."

Maybe he's right, Kid thought sadly.  We did skip a lot of things in there, but I'd always chalked it up to us bein' out west here where the rules were different.  A slow smile of inspiration crossed his face, erasing the desperation and sorrow that had etched new lines in his forhead.  "Maybe you're right, Jimmy," he said slowly.  "Maybe you're right."
 

Cold, wet, tired, and just downright miserable, Louise coaxed Lightning on through the stream that formed one of the boundaries of Silverbirch.  Luckily, the small lean-to type stable that still stood was at least dry and had some oats for the poor horse that had faithfully carried her halfway across the territory that afternoon.  She'd decided to stay at the homestead because she was exhausted from the days emotional toll and too upset yet to go home and face the others.  As she crested a small rise, she saw lights burning in the house, two horses hitched to the post outside.  Lou immediately checked the one saddle bag she'd kept in the barn for her extra pistol, thankful she'd thought to keep it loaded.

She clucked her tongue softly to Lightning and they began to cautiously approach the house.  Who are you and what the hell are you doin' in my house, she thought curiously as she drew closer and closer to her destination.
 

Chapter 16