Dear Journal 2

Title: Dear Journal 2
Author: Elise Carter tomoyodaidouji@visto.com
Rating: PG
Pairing: Laura/Bianca
Summary: Bianca reflects on Laura's condition and her own.
Disclaimer: nope, not mine.
Warning: none.
Author’s Notes: um takes place after yesterday’s episode (Monday May 21st if your reading this later then the 22nd which is likely considering I posted it 5/24 *sweatdrop*) This fic is seemingly gonna be ongoing, as in whenever I feel like there should be a Bianca reflecting on her feelings fic I’ll write one. (hey think of it this way, at least it increases the number of Bianca centered fics ^_^ whether you like em or not doesn’t count though =P)

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Dear Journal,

Laura had a cardiac test on her done, she’s supposedly fine but I have this feeling that there's something nobody’s telling me. I hope I’m just being paranoid and she’s really okay and she’ll be out soon.

I told Leo about me liking Laura, I only wish mom had taken it as well as he had. How many times am I going to put myself through this? Why can’t I just hold out for the right girl, the one that I know is out there somewhere that will actually return my feelings? But there I went falling for another girl I knew I couldn’t be with.

Even though I knew it then and I know it now, it still hurts. It’s like there’s this hollow part of me that won’t go away, and I just want to curl up in a corner and stay there for days, if not forever. I suppose this should teach me a lesson like not to let my guard down and to make SURE I don’t do this again but I don’t know how I could do that, heck, I don’t even now how to stop feeling for Laura which is the first step, I tried putting distance between us but now with her in the hospital, I can’t just give up on her and never talk to her again, she needs someone to keep her from going insane with boredom she needs someone to complain to about how she still likes Leo and as much as it hurts me to be around her and hear her talk about him if that’s what she needs I’ll do it. I’ll sacrifice my happiness for hers.

But who’s going to listen to MY problems? Who’s going to comfort me while I suffer silently? Nobody I guess.

~Bianca

Bianca capped the pen after she signed her name crookedly, tears blurring her vision. She laid down on her bed and cried.

end.




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