<Lady Bast> Hello again and welcome back.  We come to you from atop three volcanos in the center of DarkSide.  I'm waiting for Fianna who was over near the Forest of Mists and as soon as he gets here, we should be ready to begin.

<Fianna> Okay, I made it.  Have we started yet?

<Bast> We were just about to.  You're right on time.  In this event, we have a variety of different competitors.  From Mumm-Ra's team, Grune.  Wait a minute...Grune was in the last event, too.

<Fianna> And according to Cheezey, the elephants are still at it.  I don't think we'll see him.

<Bast> Okay, I guess there will be no one from Mumm-Ra's team.  Jackalman is entered for the mutants.  I don't expect him to even get to the mouth of the volcano, much less jump it.  Tygra is an accomplished gymnist, and I expect him to leap the largest volcano crater.  Same for Nayda.  Kudi...I'm not sure about Kudi.  She does jump around a lot, but it will be interesting to see how she responds under pressure.  And finally, Amok.

<Fianna> He's not showing up, either.  He's Cheezey's bodyguard, remember?

<Bast> Oh yeah.  Hmm.  Okay, then we only have four competitors.  So what are the rules, Fianna?

<Fianna> They're pretty straight forward.  You have one chance to leap the volcano's crater.  If you jump straight across it, you can get a perfect score.  Also, jumping the largest crater will earn you bonus points.  Looks like Jackalman is about to start.  Well, he might be about to start.  Okay, maybe he's not going to start at all.

<Bast> The dog is backing up, but I don't think it's to get a good run.  He's just shivering with fright.  Wait, someone's standing behind him...

<Fianna> And Slithe knocks Jackalman forward with a good tail slap.  He's running now...no, he's stumbling...he's...he's...

<Bast> He's in the volcano.

<Fianna> That can't be healthy.

<Bast> I think he agrees with you.  And before you ask, yes I can get one of my fellow gods to reincarnate him by the end of this week.

<Fianna> Oh good.  That will simplify things.  Next up, Kudi.

<Bast> She's going for the smallest volcano crater.  Not a bad move, considering she's assured a medal if she can clear it.  After all, there are only three contestants left.

<Fianna> Hmm...lacks form, but she did get a pretty good hop.  And she's over.

<Bast> Nayda is now going for the largest crater.  She knows that's the one Tygra will pick and she knows that to beat him, she has to get a perfect jump.

<Fianna> How much of that are you saying just for Thundera Tiger's benefit?

<Bast> Quite a bit, actually.  Anyway, there goes Nayda.  Ooo, that wasn't good.

<Fianna> Nayda was caught in a volcanic spray.  It knocked her off course and she didn't jump straight across.

<Bast> She's also on fire, but Berbils are standing by with squirt guns.

<Fianna> That just seems inadequate to me.  Does it sound off to anyone else?

<Bast> I think it's just you.  And now for the last competitor.  Tygra appears to be timing the volcanic bursts.  He'll jump as soon as it calms down.  It's bubbling down...it's just sitting there... and there's the jump.

<Fianna> Good jump by Tygra.  Again, loose form, but he's the only competitor so far to cleanly take the largest crater.  He's won the event.

<Bast> And no unusual interruptions.  This must be a first or something.

<Fianna> The early events were kind of peaceful.

<Bast> That's true.  Okay, do we have anyone who could conduct an interview?  I see Cheetara and Tygra talking over there.

<Fianna> I'll ask.  Cheezey?  Hey Cheezey?  Um, Cheezey?  Must be a bad connection.

<Bast> Well, I'll take the interview.  Back in a second.  Cheezey?  Tygra?  Do you have a minute to answer a few questions.

<Tygra> Um, is it just you?

<Bast> Yes, just me.  I'm trying to stay neutral in these crazy Olympics.

<Cheetara> Sure, we can answer a few questions.

<Bast> First of all,  let me congratulate you both on dual gold medals.  That's quite an accomplishment.

<Tygra> We've always made a great team.  Even when working apart, we always pull through.

<Cheetara> I think I'll let Tygra's smarm stand on its own.

<Bast> Well said.  So Tygra, when you were looking over that volcano, what went through your mind.

<Tygra> First of all, hot.  It's amazingly hot up there.  Second...do you feel that?

<Cheetara> Yeah, I do.  Feels like we're in for an eruption.

<Bast> Fianna, from where you are, can you see if the volcanoes are about to erupt?

<Fianna> No, they seem quiet enough.  The vibrations seem to be coming more from...I don't believe this.

<Bast> The elephants?!

<Fianna> Everyone clear out, they're on their way here!

<Cheezey> Hey everyone!  I'm back.  Just wanted to tell you that a pack of angry elephants is on their way toward the volcanoes and you might want to think about moving.

<Fianna> Thanks for the warning.

<Cheezey> No problem.  Black Eagle kept dive bombing them and they finally stampeded.  Trying to get away from them is RD and Lady Thundera.  Thundera Tiger and Thundercub managed to sneak away before things got too out of hand.

<Bast> I can see them coming now.  And we're trying to get as far away from them as we can.  Ooo, Lady Thundera tripped up there. But she's back up and running.

<Fianna> They're going straight for the craters!  We might actually be rid of these stupid elephants!

<Bast> Yeah, but we might lose Lady Thundera and RD, too.  No, Lady Thundera managed to dive out of the way, but RD's caught between two large elephants.  He's trying to get out, but I don't know if...

<Fianna> Whoops.

<Bast> Since when did it become fashionable to kill authors in these Olympics?

<Cheezey> What happened?

<Fianna> RD kind of went into the volcano headfirst.  Bast, is there any way you can--

<Bast> Not with humans.  Sorry, but my powers are limited.

<Cheezey> Hmm.  So now what?

<Bast> I guess we move on to the next event.  Who was covering that one?

<Cheezey> Thundercub and RD.  But RD's gone.

<Bast> Where's Thundera Tiger.  She's partially responsible, so she should take over.

<Cheezey> I'll tell her.  I know where she and Thundercub took cover.

<Fianna> Well, so much for normality.  Anyway, we've got Tygra with the gold, Nayda with the silver, and Kudi with the bronze.  Thanks for joining us and stay tuned for Skytomb's Unicorn Jumping.