<Fianna> Greetings!  I'm Fianna, here on the drawbridge of Castle Plun-Darr.  Joining me today is Lady Bast.  Bast?

<Lady Bast> Hi Fianna.  Good to be here.  The sky is rather overcast, but we're going ahead with this diving event.  Hopefully, we won't be rained out.

<Fianna> Our divers are assembling up top, so let's run down the list of who we're going to see.  For the mutants, Slithe.  He's semi-aquatic, but I don't know how his diving skills measure up.  Ma-Mutt will be diving for Mumm-Ra's team.

<Bast> Quick question. Why is Mumm-Ra's team named after Mumm-Ra?  Why couldn't they be "Forces of Evil" or something?  Seems kind of arrogant on Mumm-Ra's part.

<Fianna> Did you expect anything else from Mumm-Ra?

<Bast> Good point. Continue.

<Fianna> As I was saying, I don't think Ma-Mutt will be much competition.  He'll have a hard time just jumping off Castle Plun-Darr.  Wiley Kit, on the other hand, is a different story.  She could be tough competition.  Chilla is a toss up.  She has a certain amount of inherent grace, but I don't know how she does when falling through the air.  Turmagar is entered for the Third Earthers, and he is aquatic, but he doesn't have a lot of style.  Don't expect much there.  Willa could be trouble, though.  She's used to heights and she's used to flipping while falling.

<Bast> Flipping while falling.  Interesting.  Never tried it myself.

<Fianna> It's not for the faint of heart.

<Bast> I see.  And there are the divers.  Each diver only has one dive, so they have to get it right the first time.  Slithe looks like he's ready to go.  He's backing up to get a good running jump.

<Fianna> One of the concerns for divers are the various protrusions of the castle itself.  If they hit one, it will knock them down a full point and possibly render them unconscious.

<Bast> Unconsciousness doesn't mean a loss of points, but it's not healthy.  The divers are trying to avoid it.

<Fianna> And there he goes!  I think Slithe has cleared most of the castle junk.  He's twisting backwards.  Good tail position.  There's three complete flips and--

<Bast> OUCH!

<Fianna> Belly flops are also not recommended when falling from these heights.  That will cost him some points.

<Thundera Tiger> Hey guys?  Can I ask you a question?

<Bast> What are you doing?  You're not supposed to be on until later.

<Tiger> Yeah, but I need you to check something for me.  Is it just my imagination, or is there a periscope in the moat?

<Fianna> Uh, not that I can see.  Why?

<Tiger> Just thought I'd check.  I think I'll go lie down for a while.

<Bast> Um, right.  Sounds like a good idea.  Anyway, here comes Ma-Mutt.  He's looking around...he's still looking around...and he's looking around some more.

<Fianna> Maybe I'll grab a bite to eat while he thinks about his dive.

<Bast> Don't be gone too long.

<Fianna> I'm just going down to the Berbil Taco Stand.

<Bast> Okay.  And now back to Ma-Mutt.  He's looking around...he's looking around...he's backing up...he might be preparing to dive...no.  He's not.  Should have asked Fianna to get me something, too.  Now here's something interesting.  Wiley Kit and Turmagar are trying to push Ma-Mutt off the top of Castle Plun-Darr.  And there he goes!  Whoops, just smashed against a gargoyle.  There's a second gargoyle.  Poor dog, he's just bouncing down the side of the castle.  There's a banister.  And he finally hits the water!  Go Ma-Mutt.  Mumm-Ra is waiting to comfort the poor dog and...what is that?  Looks like...a periscope?

<Fianna> Okay, I'm back.  Did I miss anything?

<Bast> Fianna, is that a periscope over there?

<Fianna> Where?

<Bast> Well, it was there.  Hmm.  Interesting.

<Fianna> I think you and Tiger both need your heads examined.  And here's Wiley Kit.  I take it Ma-Mutt eventually jumped?

<Bast> Well, kind of.  Now Kit's backing up.  She's jumping.  Ooo, that's a good one.  There's one...two...three..four twists.  And a perfect splash down.  Very nice.  And...THERE IT IS!

<Fianna> What?

<Bast> The periscope.  Only...it's not a periscope.  It's...

<Fianna> The trunk of an elephant?  Where is this elephant coming from?!

<Bast> With RD on his back.  Boy, he's getting on shore in a hurry.  What is he up to?

<Fianna> RD has something in his hand.  He's pointing it at the sky...he's firing it...

<Bast> LOOK OUT!

<Fianna> WHOA!

......

<Tiger> Lady Bast?  Fianna?  You guys okay?  Hello?  Well, ladies and gentlemen, I should probably explain what just happened.  It appears that RD fired some kind of weather ray and a giant lightning bolt shot down from the sky and into the moat.  Um, Wiley Kit was still in the moat at the time, but I don't see any sign of her.  I think she was...vaporized.  And everyone else around the moat was kind of knocked out.

<Fianna> Ugh.  What happened?

<Tiger> There you are.  How's Lady Bast?

<Fianna> Um, looks okay.  She's waking up.  Now would you mind explaining what's going on?

<Bast> Wow.  That was a rush.  Hey, what happened?

<Tiger> RD created a lightning bolt and it knocked everyone out.  Right now he's...where'd he go?

<Fianna> He can't have gone far; he's on an elephant.  How many places are there to hide an elephant?

<Bast> And where did the elephant come from in the first place?

<Fianna> Well, until we get this figured out and exact revenge, back to the event.  It appears they're going to go ahead and finish diving.  There goes Chilla.

<Bast> She's just spinning, but she's weaving a frosty trail of icy air behind her.  It makes for a rather impressive visual spectacle.  Good splash, too.  Not as impressive as Wiley Kit, but still good.

<Fianna> And here's Turmagar.  He's just going for a cannonball.  Is that safe from his height?

<Bast> Um, probably not.  But he is part-walrus.  So maybe...no.  It wasn't.

<Fianna> Looks like Grune isn't the only one wandering around with a single tooth.  Turmagar snagged his on a rock.

<Bast> And the final diver approaches.  Willa looks like she's trying to imitate Wiley Kit.  Good jump.  There she goes.  And only three flips.  Too bad.  That puts Wiley Kit in first place.

<Fianna> Not the best splash, either.  That drops her below Chilla.  Well, that's the event.  Let's send it down to Thundera Tiger.  Tiger?

<Tiger> Shhh!  I'm stalking RD.  I've found the elephant's trail.

<Bast> But what about the interview?  Do you have any of the athlete's insights?

<Tiger> Uh, no.  Go talk to Kat and ask him how he feels now that his sister is vaporized.  I've got hunting to do.

<Fianna> I think she's serious.

<Bast> Sigh.  Well, I'm going to find Thundercub before she does something extreme.  If you want an interview, go ahead.

<Fianna> Naw, I think I'll go find something safe to do.  Like taking on Mumm-Ra single-handedly.  This announcer job is dangerous.

<Bast> So to wrap it up, we have Slithe in first place--

<Fianna> We have WHAT?!

<Bast> That can't be right.  Let's check with the judges.  Our judges for the event are Mumm-Rana and Mongor.

<Fianna> And they're missing.  Where'd Thundera Tiger get to?  She should be down there investigating.

<Bast> She's stalking RD.  Well, until we know more, I guess the results are as follows.  Slithe in first place, Jackalman in second...Jackalman wasn't even in this event!!!

<Fianna> We're going to improvise.  Slithe in first, Wiley kit in second, and Chilla in third.  And as soon as we know more, we'll get back to you.  Now let's send you to the other side of the moat where they're preparing the boat race.  Have fun.