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Snarf Under Scrutiny

Chapter 3: A Soldier in Battle



 

Snarf is easily surprised.  He's also easily startled.  As a general rule, it's easy to alarm him.
In other words, Snarf is not courageous on a regular basis.
At least you didn't apply this to all snarfs.
But if we had, it would be true.
Why me?!

 
When it comes to battle, Snarf usually takes a while to react.
This forces us to protect him while he's gathering his senses and trying to figure out what to do.
Now I know this isn't true of all snarfs.  I have very fast reaction time.
Okay.  We'll grant that.  You react quickly.
You also tend to react incorrectly.
Why don't you just come out and say that snarfs are worthless?
Because they're not.
They provide hours of amusement.  What would we do without comic relief?
I have nothing more to say to you guys.

 
Ah, now here's a typical snarf reaction.  What do you think, Snarfer?  Snarfer?
I think he's serious, Lion-O.
Sigh.  Okay, Snarfer, we're sorry we made fun of you.  You and Snarf are completely different.
Is Lynx-O sorry, too?
Yes, Snarfer, I'm also sorry.
Okay.  I guess I forgive you guys.
Thank you.  But I still think this picture is a typical snarf pose.
LYNX-O!!!

 
Okay, here's the deal.  This is Snarf and he's frozen in fear.  I don't freeze.
Then you stand still for unusually long periods of time in unusually dangerous situations.
Give him some credit, Lion-O.  In this situation, I think Snarfer would be on the floor and not just frozen.
See?  I would move.
I don't think that was a compliment, Snarfer.

 
Looks like Snarf could lose a few pounds.
Ah, now THERE'S a difference.  I'm in shape.
For a lumpy couch potato, yes.  You're in shape.
We're not certain what KIND of shape, but you are in some sort of shape.
I thought this scrapbook was about Uncle Osbert!
We thought we'd take some cheap shots at you while we're at it.  And besides, all Snarf's pictures are the same.  He's frozen in fear or running in fear.


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