DISCLAIMERS: I don't own any of the mentioned characters from the syndicated television show Xena: Warrior Princess. Renaissance Pictures does. Nor do I own Steve Irwin or Terry (Mrs. Crocodile Hunter) Irwin. They belong to themselves and their little baby.
The story (as well as the previous episodes) is copyright 2000 Kimyoo Films. They may not be archived or stored anywhere else without the written, prior consent of the author.
"Crocodile Hunter Goes Grecian: Episode Two" by Magenta
*Croc Hunter leaps out from behind the rubble of a house and walks backwards towards an imposing stone structure*
"AhHA! G'dae! Weelcome to anouther eedition of Crocodile Hunter in Ainceent Graece! I'm Steve Eerwin! Todae, I'm gonna take yew to a veery speecial place....the Teemple of Eerees, Gohd of Wahr. C'mon!!"
*Croc Hunter, with a smile bigger than the outbacks of Australia, stealthily sneaks up to Ares' Temple*
"Wee 'ave to bee veery cahrful. Theese is Eerees' teerrytory ahnd I'm invaiding eet."
*carefully, the Croc Hunter walks into the temple. He presses back against a nearby wall when he hears the angry, booming voices coming from inside*
"Wah!! Danegah, danegah, danegah...but wee're gohing een anywae to geet a beetah look at the domecyle of one of the moughst feeared of oll Gohds."
*Croc Hunter proceeds to crouch close to the wall and walk into the Hall of War. Inside there is one man and two women - the dimunitive blonde and the Warrior Princess from the episode before. Steve hides behind a well placed boulder.*
"By Crikey! Look at thaght! The Waerrier Princeess and the lil blonde from eearlieer are tolking tae the Gohd of Wahr!! Wah!! I shure hoepe theghy're cahreful! Eeven I woodn't fight weeth the Gohd of Wahr."
*Croc Hunter turns around in time to see the dimunitive blonde punch Ares in the face, but the WarGod doesn't do anything.*
"DANEGAH, DANEGAH, DANEGAH!!!!"
*Three heads all look in Steve's direction, but he ducked down way before they could see him.*
"Look, Ares, I don't know what you want with my family, but I suggest you stay the Hades away from them, you got it?"
*Steve peeks up to see the blonde and the Warrior Princess walk right past him and out of the temple. The Croc Hunter looks up to see Ares absolutely fuming. Suddenly, the WarGod throws a fireball at a wall to his left. The wall didn't have a chance.*
"By Crikey, I gueess hee's preety well angry...hee's lahge and feeahce. Leet's gae een fer a clohser look, aeh?"
*Steve quietly circles around the WarGod and crouches behind another well placed boulder mere feet from the WarGod's throne. Ares stands there, his hands on his hips, his back turned to the stealthy Croc Hunter.*
"Wah! Eesn't hee a hansome deevil? That tight blahck cloathing ees fer a raeson. Eet usually deestracts oll attackahs eethah weeth eet's shighne or weeth eet's tightneess...
"Yew see how th' blahck leeather houlds his reear-ehnd? Thaght ees houghw hee's protecteed from beehind....er...sae tae speeak."
*Steve sees an opening and runs up behind the God of War. Before the God knows what's happeneing, the Croc Hunter has a firm grip on the back of his clothing as if he were holding a snake or a croc. Of course, Ares fights, but he doesn't think to like teleport away ot use his fireballs.*
"I'm the God of War! No one holds onto the God of War!"
"Yeer allright, mate! Yeer allright!"
"Of course I am, but you won't be unless you let me go!"
"Thees lil blightah ceertainly haghs a loght of veenom, but sae fahr, hee doughesn't have mutch bight."
*Ares and the Croc Hunter spin around as Ares tries to tear the mortal's hands away from his leather outfit.*
"Yeer allright, mate!! Yeer allright!"
*Here is another out-of-nowhere voice over from Mrs. Croc Hunter.*
"Steve and the WarGod certainly make good dance partners, don't they? Hahaha."
"Yeeah, Terry...reel funney... Wah! Look at thaght! A peerfect speecimen of Ohlympian Gohdhood -"
"Don't go getting all mushy on me, Steve...though I wish this were one assignment I were there with you on..."
"Danegah, danegah, danegah!! Jeelous wyfe aleert.
"OOH! Whatch thees!!"
*As the Croc Hunter's Voice Over ends, Ares and Steve spin apart and land on their butts as pieces of the War God's leathers rip off in the Croc Hunter's hands.*
"ARGH!! That's it! I've had enough of your mortals today! You better hope I don't find you later..."
*Ares stands and turns his back towards Steve, then teleports out of the temple, but not before we notice that the WarGod DOES wear something under his leathers - boxer briefs with Space Ghost on them. Steve giggles.*
"By Crikey, thaght was eenteense! WHEWIE!! I eeven haghve a sewvenieah of my eencountah weeth the feeahce WahrGohd Eerees."
*Tucks the pieces of leather into his pockets.*
"Weell, I've haid eenough eexightmeent for aight leeast the reest of the dae sae I'm gohnna gae reest up for the neext Crocodile Hunter!!
"See yah theen!"
*Steve walks away...until the next episode of Crocodile Hunter...*
Episode Three
Back to the first episode.
Comments to the_AURYN@angelfire.com.
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