Reunion (Amanda's POV)   by Robin

* *   *   *

SMK Time:  January 19, 1994
 

“Emily, you’re looking wonderful,” I said when I greeted my old friend with a warm hug.  “I was surprised to hear you were over in the States in the middle of winter.”

My elderly friend and generally retired agent looked very spry for her age and hugged me back with exuberance.  “I don’t get over to the States very often, my dear, but I wanted to be sure I got to see a few friends.  That’s why I invited everyone here today for lunch.  Saves a lot of time driving around DC in the cold.”

“Oh, the party has nothing to do with your birthday, then?” I questioned with a raised eyebrow and sly smile.

“Amanda, I guess I can’t pull the wool over your eyes,” she whispered guiltily.  “Let’s just keep this secret between the two of us, you remember, need to know…”

“Your secret’s safe with me, Emily,” I winked at her, then kissed her on the cheek and whispered, certain nobody else would hear.  “Happy Birthday!”

Walking over to the bartender in the corner of the room, I ordered a soft drink and mingled with a few other guests at the reception.  I didn’t know any of them, but friends of Emily’s were friends of mine.  I chatted politely about nothing with them when I noticed a familiar face enter the room.  I caught my breath.  I ducked behind a rather stout woman and he didn’t appear to notice me in the corner.  Instead, he walked directly over to Emily, grinning happily and pulled her into a bear hug of his own.

Taking a deep breath, I didn’t know what to do.  It had been several years since I’d seen him or even heard from him for that matter.  Surely Emily knew that…Shaking my head, I suddenly got the feeling that I’d been had.

“Oh my gosh!” I groaned at the indigestion starting even before lunch was served.  How was I going to get out of this luncheon now?  Emily knew the boys were both at college; I told her that on the phone yesterday.  She knew my mother lived in a retirement community; they exchanged Christmas cards every year.  I knew I was stuck.

It wasn’t long before I felt his eyes on me.  I didn’t need to look.  It was almost like we were back in the Q Bureau.  I’d be typing up a report on the computer and I’d feel him staring at me, but a lot had happened since those days up in the Q Bureau…

“Amanda, it’s good to see you again,” Lee Stetson greeted me, looking every bit as handsome and debonair as he had years ago.

Turning to face my husband, I gave him a tepid smile.  “I didn’t know you were back in the States.”

“I flew in a few days ago.”

“You’re looking… well.”  I hated to admit it.  He looked gorgeous.  Incredible.  His eyes sparkled; his skin well tanned.  He had a great build; his hair was a little grey, but on Lee Stetson it seemed sexy.

“You’re looking…”

“Tired.”  I supplied for him, afraid of what he might say.  At the moment, I felt incredibly old and tired.  Wishing now I had worn something more appealing, but I’d worked all morning and was only expecting a handful of people at this luncheon with Emily.  I never expected Lee Stetson to be invited!

“I was going to say wonderful,” he corrected politely.

We stared at each other for a few uncomfortable moments.  What do you say to the man you’re married to who disappeared out of your life so quickly and completely?  I was extremely relieved when Emily announced we were ready to sit down to our lunch.

“Shall we?” Lee asked, his hand comfortably resting on the small of my back, guiding me to the dining area.  It felt like old times for the tiniest of moments, but the moment past and all the repressed anger started to fill me.  It had been over five years since we’d seen each other last.

Glancing around quickly, I hoped to find a familiar face to sit with – other than Lee, but the dozen or so people were all strangers.  It didn’t matter anyway.  When we arrived at the table, place cards with names had been set at the elegant table.  I noticed my name, Amanda King and quickly scanned the cards on both sides.  Knowing Emily Farnsworth, I wasn’t surprised in the least when Lee Stetson’s place card was at the setting right next to mine.

Lee, always the gentleman, held out the chair for me.

“Thank you,” I said to him curtly.  Turning to the woman on the other side of me I was hoping to chat with her, but she was in a deep discussion with the woman next to her about Margaret Thatcher.  Instead I tried to ignore him as they served our salad, but obviously Lee wasn’t getting the message.

“How are the boys and your mother?” he asked.

“Fine.”

“Does Jamie like Virginia Tech?”

“I don’t remember telling you he was going there,” I snapped.  Apparently, my husband had been spying on us without our knowledge.

“Amanda,” he said, placing his hand on top of mine.

I pulled my hand out from his, glaring at him.  “How dare you spy on my family.  You lost any right to keep an eye on us when you walked out on us!”

“I didn’t exactly walk out.  I was fired, remember?  I tried to get a job in DC, but nobody would hire me.  Nobody would hire you either!”

He didn’t have to remind me.  Since he walked into the room I’ve replayed that hellish time of our lives over and over again, actually my life – I never did find out exactly where Lee went.  My access to locating him dissolved the day we were forcefully escorted from the Agency.  Lee Stetson disappeared less than three weeks after we got fired and that was a lifetime ago.

“I found a job,” I snapped back.  It was true; I eventually did find a job almost six months after filling out hundreds of applications.  I had gone on numerous interviews.  Many seemed promising until the standard rejection letter came in the mail.  More times than not, there was no response at all, week after week after week.  It had been very frustrating.  Dr. Smyth must have given me one hell of a rotten reference.

“I know you did.  At a farm.”

“It was a produce company,” I countered angrily, but regardless of what it was, the work was back breaking - sorting and crating vegetables for shipment.  I’d get home physically exhausted, filthy and smelly.  It was months before I finally got promoted to a job in the office.  My Agency skills proved to be useful, when I helped them figure out which of their laborers were legal and which were illegal.  Lucky for me one thing led to another and finally I got back on my feet.  “Spying on us again?”

“I was worried about you.”

“I managed just fine.”  That was a blatant lie.  The first six months I was on the edge of financial ruin and was an emotional train wreck.  If it hadn’t been for Joe King’s support, both financially and emotionally, I’m not sure I would have made it.

“I realize that.  You never cashed any of the checks I sent you.”

“I didn’t want your money, Lee.  I wanted you.  I still don’t know where you went or why you left.”

“Amanda, it was the hardest choice I ever made…to leave…”

“Never mind, Lee, that was a long time ago and to be honest I don’t really care!”  I turned away from him, stabbed a defenseless cherry tomato with my fork and bit into it.  But every ounce of my being wanted to know.  I wanted to scream at him ‘Why did you leave?’, but it was several years too late for explanations or excuses.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye.  He looked sad, maybe disappointed, but what did he expect?  He walked out of my life with no explanation.  No phone call, just a short hand written note.

I shook my head and mumbled. “I still have the note.”

“What?” he asked.

My eyes flew open wide.  I didn’t realize I said it out loud.  Covering quickly I shrugged trying to appear calm.  “I was reminding myself to send Emily a thank you note.”

He nodded, but watched me carefully.

A spy always knows when they’re being watched and Lee and I both knew we were watching each other.  I felt uncomfortable as if there were other eyes spying on me as well.  Putting another forkful of salad into my mouth, I glanced up to see Emily Farnsworth’s caring eyes observing both me and Lee.  Had she witnessed our short diatribe?  Had we been that loud?  I smiled over at our hostess and then turned towards Lee.

“I don’t want to ruin Emily’s luncheon.  So, if you wouldn’t mind, I think it’s best if we just stick to polite conversation, the weather, and, um…”

“Yes, good idea.  It’s very chilly in here, don’t you think?” Lee responded with an ironic stare.

“Really, I thought it was quite stuffy in here, myself!” I countered and turned away.

Lunch seemed to go on interminably.  I’m not sure if the food was tasty or not.  I could have been eating cardboard for all I knew.  I finally managed to chat with the woman next to me during the main course and Emily told some humorous stories during dessert which kept Lee and me from sparring with each other.

They finally cleared the table and some of the other guests got up to leave.  I was right behind them.

“Emily, it was lovely to see you again.  Perhaps we can have tea before you leave?” I suggested, hoping to make amends for any inappropriate behavior she may have witnessed during lunch.

“I’d enjoy that.  Maybe if we don’t get that snowstorm,” she responded in her lilting British accent.

I hugged my friend.  I could see in her eyes she wanted to say more.  I did, too, but I couldn’t.  Not here, not now.  Instead, I turned on my heels and headed for the cloak room.  I hurried and pulled on my coat and gloves wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.  Walking to the door as I buttoned the top button, I heard his familiar voice yet again.

“Allow me?” Lee Stetson said as he opened the door.

“Thank you,” I nodded politely and hurried down the walk.  I noticed he didn’t have a coat on so I never expected him to follow me out to my car.  It was cold out.  It couldn’t have been more than 20 degrees outside and the wind was blowing.  But Lee Stetson was walking me to my car.

“I like your new car,” Lee commented.

“That means a lot to me,” I snapped, rolling my eyes.  I was fumbling with the key when he asked me a question I wasn’t expecting.

“Amanda, I never signed any divorce papers.  Are we still… you know, legally married?”

I dropped the keys on the pavement and stood numbly for a moment.  Lee bent down and picked them up, handing them to me.  I used the few moments to compose myself.  I stared at my husband’s eyes.  I wanted to see his reaction.  I’d wondered for years how many women he’d shared his bed with even though we were legally married.  “Yes, Lee.  Technically we are still married.”

He nodded his head and stared back at me.  He never blinked, flinched or seemed upset.  He smiled, almost seeming pleased at the information.

What a cad!  How could he stare at me and smile?  Then it happened.  At first, I blinked, not once but twice.  When I opened my eyes, his were closed and only inches from mine.  His lips touched my lips.  They were warm and inviting.  The familiar smell of his aftershave filled my lungs and cherished memories warmed me.  For a moment I had no control, I was melting in his charm.  Then, his cold hands touched my face and helped break the spell he had on me.

“Damn you, Stetson,” I swore at him as my gloved hand smacked his face.  I wished now I hadn’t put my gloves on as he deserved a sharp slap and the glove lessened its impact.

He looked stunned, but quickly recovered.  “I still love you, Amanda. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

“Well you certainly have an interesting way of showing it!” I rebutted.  “You left when I had no job, and no prospects of finding one.  You disappear for how long, more than five years without as much as a phone call?”

“I wanted to call, but I didn’t know what to say.  Didn’t you get my letter?”

“You don’t leave someone by writing a note, Lee!  That’s the coward’s way out.” I snapped at him, losing the battle to force the tears back.  There had been too many years of unspent anger and I was lost in mine.  When we were fired by the Agency for concealing our marriage, I had never expected Dr. Smyth to blackball us both from any government position, but that’s exactly what he did.   Everything went to hell from there.  Our relationship, our marriage, our lives…

I started yelling at Lee.  My words were being hurled at him with lightning speed, but he stood there and took it like a man.  I don’t remember all that I said to him.  It was typical Amanda King style, one run on, rambling sentence after another.  I’m not sure if I even stopped to breathe.  I cursed him for the mystery marriage and blamed him for me getting shot on our honeymoon.  I blamed him for every little thing that went wrong in my life since he handed me that damned package and frankly, it was a very long list.

“You have every right to be angry with me,” he reacted calmly.  From the look on his face he’d expected this reaction and probably more.

Taking a deep breath, I finally took hold of my shattered emotions and asked.  “Are you going to be in town for a while?”

“Yeah, I’ve finally got a lead stateside.  It’s looking very promising.  With a little luck I hope to be reassigned to DC permanently.”

I nodded my head at the information.  “Now that you’re back I’ll get in touch with my lawyer.  I’ll have him draw up divorce papers.  I don’t know how long the process will take, but I’ll see to it that it happens quickly.”

“Amanda, wait.  That’s not why I asked.  There are some things that we need to discuss…”

Shrugging, I wasn’t sure what he was saying.  “Lee, we have no children together, no community property.  We never even shared a bank account.   Let’s just get the inevitable over with and forget it ever happened and you can go on being a carefree bachelor without any hesitation to the marriage vows we took.  We were kidding ourselves then, let’s not kid ourselves now.”

“I don’t want a divorce.  I never have.”

I stared at him in disbelief and then he annoyed me even further by glancing at his watch.  “Are you late for a date?” I snapped at him.

“A date, no.  I need to get to the bank before they close,” he commented evenly.

“Well, don’t let me keep you,” I said in relief and attempted again to get in my car.

“Amanda, I need to talk to you.  Can I stop by the house later tonight?” he pleaded, his hand on my car door.

I opened the door and sat down. Glancing back up at the husband I hadn’t spoken with for years, I heard the desperation in his voice.  For the first time during our brief reunion, he seemed ill at ease.  Part of me wanted the conversation to end for good, but I needed closure.  Freezing out in a parking lot yelling at him was not going to give me that.  Glancing down at my watch I paused, wanting him to believe that I too had places to go and things to do.  I didn’t.  I took the rest of the day off, but I wasn’t about to tell Lee Stetson that.

Sighing dramatically, I nodded.  “Come by after dinner.  I should be finished in the kitchen by seven.  I have an important meeting in the morning so I have to be in the office early tomorrow.  Don’t come any later than that.  Amanda King has to get up early!”  I emphasized the King part of my name.  Although we were fired because the Agency found out we were married, other than Joe King, my family was never apprised of that detail.  After Lee vanished, it was easier to pretend we were nothing more than an office romance gone awry.

“Would you like me to bring something over?”

“No, Lee, this is not a date!  You wanted to talk and frankly, I have some really hard questions I’d like answers to.  I don’t expect you’ll be staying for long.”

He nodded, taking my verbal barrage in stride.  “I’ll see you at seven.”

I turned the ignition on my car and drove out of there as quickly as I could.  My eyes watched my husband in the rearview mirror.  He stood in the parking lot waving goodbye to me until I was out of sight.  Relieved that I had finally gotten away from him, I took a deep breath.  That’s when I realized my body was trembling despite the heater in my car blowing out heat full blast.
 

End Part One
 
 
 

Reunion:   Part Two

(Amanda's POV)
 
 

I cleaned the house when I got home.  Not that it was dirty, because it wasn’t. When I’m nervous I clean and I was nervous.  Nibbling on some leftovers in the refrigerator, I found I wasn’t very hungry despite not eating much at the luncheon either.  Instead, I ended up cleaning out the fridge and took out the trash.  Glancing up at the kitchen clock when I came back inside it was almost seven.  I wondered if Lee would come to the front door and ring the bell or tap on the back window for old time’s sake.

I puttered in the kitchen, wiping, polishing and cleaning what I already knew was clean.  If Lee Stetson snuck up to the kitchen window, he’d find me busy or at least pretending to be.  Then the doorbell rang.  It figured - what a waste of a good cover.  I tossed the towel on the counter in disgust, tucked an errant strand of hair behind my ear and went to my front door.

“Hi,” he greeted with a charming smile while holding a briefcase in his hand.

“Hi,” I said, standing at the door feeling vastly beleaguered by the circumstances.  Where was all my anger now?  Suddenly I didn’t want to have this conversation.  I didn’t want to know why he left or even why he’d returned.

“Can I come in?” he asked uneasily.

Nodding I opened the door and motioned him in.  He knew the way better than most and walked right to my family room and sat down.

I sat in a chair farthest from him, not trusting myself to be close to him.  Even when we first started working together, long before I dated or married him, I was physically attracted to this man despite his numerous shortcomings.  Now, even after he’d vanished with no warning and little explanation I could feel the familiar stirring in my body despite what my mind was telling it.

“All right, Lee, what was so important that you needed to talk with me?” I finally forced out trying to find a tone somewhere between friendly and venomous.

“I owed you an explanation as to why I left,” he started as he put the briefcase he was carrying on the coffee table and opened it up.  “I know you’re angry with me.  Hell, I was furious with myself for the longest time.  Some of this was my fault, I’ll admit, but not all of it.  I should have known better.  I let my guard down and underestimated my opponent and subsequently was outflanked by him.  But I fell in love with you and love clouds your judgment.”

If that wasn’t the understatement of the decade I didn’t know what was.  I nodded my agreement, but I was totally baffled as to what he was trying to tell me:  opponent, outflanked, love...  Why was he talking in some half-assed code?

“Amanda, did you ever wonder who tipped off the Agency about us being married?” he asked.

I shrugged.  “I don’t know.  Everything happened so fast; there was such chaos.  I never really gave it much thought.  What does it matter anyway?”

“It bothered me from the start.  We were pretty careful.  So few people knew and most of them were extremely trustworthy.”

“Internal Affairs could have come across it when they were doing a spot security check…” I suggested, but obviously Lee knew and was going to tell me.

“It wasn’t from a security check,” he answered pulling out a piece of paper from his briefcase and handing it to me.  “I asked Billy to do me one last favor after we were fired.  He got a hold of the letter that tipped Smyth off and ran the prints himself.  It confirmed what I suspected.”

I played his game and asked the $64,000 question.  “And that was?”

“You told Joe at Christmas we were married, didn’t you?”

I nodded.  “You’re suggesting that Joe was the one who tipped them off?  Why would he do that?”

“He had his motives,” Lee reassured me, “his fingerprints were all over the letter.”

“Even if he had sent it, Lee, what does it matter now?  Joe’s been dead for almost a year now.  It was Dr. Smyth who blackballed us both from ever working for the government again.  For God’s sakes I couldn’t even find a job as a receptionist.  Soon as they checked my references from IFF, I didn’t have a chance.”

Lee didn’t seem deterred from my lack of concern.  He pressed on.  “Smyth did a job on us both, I agree, but Joe King lit the fire.  I never told you this before, but I met with Joe about a week after we were fired.  He’d left a message on my answering machine a few days after everything went down.  He wanted to meet with me – alone.”

Suddenly I felt my stomach turn. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear anymore.  “Lee, stop!  Joe was a good guy and you’re not going to convince me otherwise especially now, since he’s not alive to defend himself.  He helped us out more than once in the months following your disappearing act.”

“I bet he did.”  Lee shook his head like a parent disappointed by a naughty child.  “You wondered why I left without telling you any of this years ago?  I’m trying to explain it to you now and you’re not hearing a word.  He’s dead and you’re still defending him.  I knew back then that we were both too upset and stressed out to deal with it.  I thought now, now that Joe’s gone that…”

“That what?” I raged, glaring at my husband.  “You could impugn the memory of an honorable man?”

Lee huffed and rolled his eyes.  “You’ve always had a blind spot when it came to Joe King.  I was a fool to think you’d see him for what he really was.”

“So why did you wait so long?  Joe’s been dead since May…”

“I didn’t hear about his death until a couple of months ago,” Lee answered, raking his hand nervously through his hair.  “I’ve been out of the country and out of communication most of the time.  You’re not the only one who had trouble finding a job, Amanda.  I’ve been half way around the world trying to make a living.  It hasn’t been easy for me either.  I didn’t have a family to fall back on.”

“Yes you did, but you ran out on us!” I argued heatedly.

“I didn’t have a choice.”

“You picked the easy way.”

“No, trust me that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”  Lee glanced over to me with his eyes pleading for me to listen.  I turned away, but he continued his outrageous explanation.  “When I found out Joe was dead, I made arrangements to return to the U.S., but that took time.  It wasn’t like I could jump on a plane in Tehran and take the next flight home to DC.”

I swallowed hard at the thought of Lee being in the Middle East.  I knew he would have only gone there as a last resort.  Perhaps I was being too hard on him.  Feeling sympathetic, I suggested another tack.

“Maybe we should just leave the past where it is, Lee.  Tomorrow is a new day.  You’re starting a new job soon…”

“If I thought it would be that easy, Amanda, I’d burn this myself,” he answered pointing at the collection in his briefcase.  “But I look in your eyes and see the hurt I’ve caused you.  We can’t move forward until you know the truth.  Maybe even then it’s too late, but I have to try.  You’re blaming me for things I had no control over.  I tell you Joe King was responsible for this.”

“I think you should leave,” I grumbled scathingly.  There was no point in continuing the conversation.  Lee was grasping at straws.

His face suddenly looked weary.  His head dropped down and his shoulders slumped like he’d been defeated.  He stared at the contents of his briefcase before glancing back to me.  He removed a thick file and placed it on the coffee table and then pulled a cassette tape out and put it on top.

“Fine, I’ll leave.  If you decide you want to know the truth, it’s all here.  The manila folder is the dossier Joe King collected on me.  Paints a rather bleak picture of me as a man and I’m not proud of it, but it wasn’t anything you didn’t already know about me.  This was the old Lee Stetson:  womanizer, carefree bachelor, fool hearty agent,” Lee pointed to the folder as he closed his briefcase and stood up.  “The tape is from the discussion Joe and I had that day in his office.  He didn’t know I was wired.  Didn’t really matter though, the stakes were too high to play hardball with him.  He trumped me and I wasn’t holding an ace.”

My face flushed from his words and the implications as vague as they were.  Part of me wanted to know what he was talking about, but I was too sick to my stomach at this point to ask.  I stood up and followed him to the door, blinking back the tears in my eyes.  I was now losing my second husband for good.

“Where should I send the divorce papers?” I heard myself croak out in an unsteady voice.

Lee took out a business card for the hotel he was staying at and wrote his room number on it.  “I’ll be here until the job offer comes through.  After that I’m not sure where I’ll be living.  I’ll have a mutual friend contact you with the address.”

“I appreciate that,” I said opening the door.

Lee stood on my front porch preparing to walk out of my life, but turned back and mentioned, almost casually.  “I realize what you think of me, Amanda, but for the record, I’ve never broken my marriage vows.”

The statement rocked me to my core.  I stood there with my mouth gaping open unable to say a word while Lee Stetson hurried down the sidewalk to his car.  The cold wind blowing in my face eventually snapped me out of my stupor as a chill went through my entire body.   Walking back into the family room in a daze I collapsed onto the sofa that Lee had been sitting on only minutes ago and cried.

***

I stared at the information Lee left on the coffee table for over an hour.  Twice I opened the folder only to turn away.  Finally I picked up the entire collection and tossed it into the kitchen garbage.

I went upstairs and took a long hot bath.  I wanted to soak in bubbles and let the soothing warm water drain the tension from my body.  I closed my eyes while I soaked, but I found my mind racing with more questions.  I finally got out of the tub, neither relaxed nor refreshed; instead I was frustrated and still tense.

Drying myself off I put on my nightgown and went downstairs to lock up.  I needed to get to work early the next morning to make up for being out all afternoon.  I walked into the kitchen to check the back door.  I glanced at the garbage can on my way.  I tried to ignore it by making myself a cup of hot chocolate, but my eyes kept focusing on the trash can.  Finally my curiosity won out and I retrieved the tape and the file from the trash.

Sitting on the sofa once again I opened the folder.  I flipped through it, page after page.  It was filled with pictures of Lee over the years and many of his past girlfriends: Candy, Debbie, Randi, Margo, Jillian, the twins… whatever their names were and others I didn’t know the names of and didn’t want to.  Lee was right; it was all from long before we’d started dating.  I’d met some of them, Celeste, Leslie O’Conner and Eliza Danton.  Other pictures included some of Lee’s colorful contacts, Augie Swann, Fritz the Cat.  For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why Joe would start a dossier on Lee?

Picking up the tape I weighed it in my hand.  I wasn’t sure what was on it and I wasn’t certain I was ready to open up a can of worms.  Glancing across the room at the stereo I finally decided I had a need to know.  Once and for all, no matter what was on the tape, I had to listen.  I got up and put the tape into the player and pushed the button on.  It sounded a lot like the tapes I used to transcribe for Billy Melrose when I worked as a civilian.  Static, background noises, doors opening and closing and then I heard Lee's voice.  I sat down nearby, grabbed a pillow cushion from the couch hugging it protectively and was quickly captivated by what I heard…
 
 

 
“Hello, Joe,” Lee greeted.

“Stetson,” Joe King answered in a less than friendly tone.  “Have a seat.”

“I take it you heard about Amanda and me getting fired?” Lee asked.

“Yes, she called me last week.”

“How about giving her a job?  I’m sure you could use a good secretary,” Lee asked.  “It’s going to take a while to sort things out…”

“Lee, the EAO is funded by the government.  You’re both too hot to touch at the moment.  Even if I had a position available I couldn’t get her a job in the mailroom.”

“So what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?  Your message was rather cryptic,” Lee asked his adversary.

There was silence on the tape for a few moments, then a squeaky noise, perhaps a drawer or cabinet being opened and then another sound, like a book or file being tossed onto a desk.

“I want you out of Amanda’s life,” Joe answered bluntly.  “For good.”

Lee chuckled and answered confidently.  “That’s not going to happen.  Things might be a little rough right now, but it’ll blow over.”

“Take a good look at that file,” Joe’s voice suggested.

Again there was silence on the tape.  Paper rustling was all that could be heard for a few minutes.

“This is all ancient history, Joe, women in my past.  Amanda knows about them all.  Hell, she’s even met a couple of them.”

“Do Phillip and Jamie know about them?  Have you mentioned to them that you’ve slept with half of DC before you started bedding down their mother?”

Lee’s tone changed abruptly.  “You’re treading on thin ice, here.  The boys don’t need to know about my past.  I’m not especially proud of it, but I’m a different person now.  That’s all they need to know.  Since Amanda and I started dating there hasn’t been any other women in my life.”

“Stetson, I think it’s time for you to move on.  I want you out of Amanda’s life and out of my sons’ lives.  You’re dangerous.  You’ve endangered their lives long enough.  Cut your losses and go back to what you know best – womanizing.”

Lee answered with a tight voice.  “I’ve never jeopardized Phillip or Jamie’s safety.  Amanda and I are extremely cautious.  That’s why we kept our marriage a secret in the first place.  Besides, since we aren’t working for the Agency any longer, it’s not an issue.”

“Sure it is; your past always comes back to haunt you.  Not to mention, you’re unemployed.  You have no means of supporting or protecting a wife and family.  You’re a known womanizer with a checkered history both personally and professionally.  How do you think a judge would react if he saw your profile?  Things could get… messy!” Joe suggested, his voice now confident.

“Don’t threaten me, Joe.”

“It’s not a threat, Stetson.  If you don’t get out of Amanda’s life now, I’ll pursue a custody battle that will even make Dotty turn against you.  You won’t win.  Hell, once the boys find out about the lies you’ve told them about IFF and your marriage they’ll be rushing to my house, we won’t have to wait for a judge’s order."

“You son of a bitch!” Lee swore loudly.  The tone of his voice was apparent even on an old cassette tape.  “Everything Amanda and I have done in the past has been to protect them.  We’ve never put ourselves first.  That’s why we live separate lives.  Tell me that you’re really not that bitter, are you?”

There was silence again for a few moments before the squeaky noise again.  “I’ve got the paperwork already started, Stetson.  I figured this is the best opportunity I’ll get to evict you from my family’s life.  Get out; move on!   I’m giving you a clean slate.”

“And if I don’t?” Lee asked, but his voice had changed, it was mottled with apprehension.

“You have until the weekend to get out of town.  Otherwise I’ll file the paperwork first thing Monday morning.  You don’t have a chance in hell to win.   Not while you’re both unemployed and Amanda tells me that Dr. Smyth has made it clear that neither of you will work in this town again.   And, Stetson, let’s keep our conversation just between the two of us.”

“Why are you afraid your ex-wife will finally see you for the jackass you really are?” Lee taunted.

“If Amanda gets wind of our discussion, you’ll force me to play my hand.  I’m a well known and respected attorney in town, a law school graduate of Georgetown.  I’ve got plenty of powerful friends not to mention great character witnesses including the Estoccian President.  Let’s think about who you could get to speak on your behalf, hmm, Dr. Smyth wouldn’t be your best pick.  I remember a picture of an old friend of yours… what was his name?  Oh yeah, Auggie Swann?  The choice is yours, Stetson, but sometimes retreat is the best option.”

“You bastard!  You don’t deserve to have a family,” Lee retorted, papers rustled and a door slammed; again lots of static before the tape went silent.
 
 

How many times had Joe given me the business card for his friend the attorney who’d handle my divorce quick and quiet?  Joe promised his friend could find Lee.  What did he say, ‘He’ll find him no matter what rock he crawled under?’   Joe kept telling me I had grounds of desertion.  It would be quick and simple.  Thank God I never took him up on the offer.  Joe King hadn’t forced Lee from my life; my unyielding loyalty to Joe King did.  Lee Stetson didn’t have a choice and I never gave him a chance.

“You bastard!”  I screamed out loud as I reached for my coat and hurried to the door.  The cold blast of wind caught me before I left the house in my nightgown.  I ran up the stairs and threw on the first pair of jeans I found and a sweater, but I knew one thing for sure, I had to talk to Lee.
 

End Part Two
 
 
 

Reunion:   Part Three

(Amanda's POV)
 
 

I drove over to the hotel Lee was staying at.  The arctic blast that had settled on DC had kept most people home and the roads were unusually clear.  It was late when I pulled into the parking lot, but I had the distinct feeling he wouldn’t be asleep yet.  I took the elevator up to the fourth floor and walked down the hallway to his room.  Standing in front of his door for a few moments – I realized I was at a loss for words.  Finally I knocked on the door.  It seemed like an eternity before the door cracked open.

“I thought Amanda King had to get to bed early tonight?” Lee Stetson commented wryly when he opened the door.

“Amanda Stetson needs to apologize to her husband,” I replied as my heart raced while I waited to see if he intended to let me in.

He smiled warmly at me despite everything; his eyes sparkled and he opened the door.  “Come on in.”

I walked into his room and stood near the sofa in the small living area of the suite. I took a deep breath still searching for the right words to say, but they didn’t come.  Lee was staring at me, I had to say something.

“Oh my gosh!” I said, my hands covering my face as the tears threatened to come.  I forced them to retreat.  “I don’t know what to say...”

“I take it you listened to the tape?”

I nodded.  “If he wasn’t dead, I’d strangle him myself,” I admitted, gritting my teeth, unable to vent my anger at the man who willingly caused me so much heartache.

“Trust me, the thought had crossed my mind more than once,” Lee confessed.

“You should have confided in me, but I know why you didn’t.  Lee, you should have told me.  We would have worked something out,” I said in an angry voice, but shaking my head I also admitted.  “Part of me thinks we could have won, and the other part of me worries that I would have lost the boys forever.”

“Amanda, I’ve run the same scenario in my head every day of every year.  I couldn’t risk telling you.  The stakes were too high.”

“Why didn’t you come back sooner?” I croaked out.

“I wanted to. I thought about coming back dozens of times.  When Jamie started high school, when Phillip graduated high school, but with Joe still around I’ll be honest, I couldn’t risk it.  Joe was right, my past is checkered.  I did sleep with half of Washington before we started dating.  I didn’t always follow Agency procedure.  I’d been written up more times than any other agent who worked there.  Personnel used to joke that I had my own personnel file, as in cabinet instead of a file as in folder.”

I smiled.  Lee did tend to bend the rules, without care and often.  “We would have figured something out.”

“What would you have told your sons?  We lied to them about our jobs, our relationship.  They looked up to me, even Jamie.  I didn’t want them to find out about my reputation.  Joe had me by the balls and he knew it.  They would have hated me.  I could have lived with that.  I couldn’t live with them hating you.  I needed a job and Smyth’s crusade against us made working here impossible.  The only chance I had in finding one was overseas.  I didn’t want to go, but Joe made damned sure that staying wasn’t an option.”

“You might have found a job around here.  I did!  We could have fought him…”

“Amanda, it took a while even overseas before I found something.  At first I worked contract jobs – suicide missions mostly.  Eventually I found a permanent position working overseas for a government supported group more secretive than the Agency.  If I’d been caught in any of the countries I was working in I would have been executed on the spot.”

“Which government were you working for?” I asked, suddenly afraid of the answer.

“Our government,” Lee whispered reassuring me as his eyes scanned the room cagily.  “Smyth’s reach might be vast, but my reputation, my business reputation helped me out in Asia.  It’s not the job a man wants at my age, it was dirty and dangerous and I really can’t tell you more than I already have.  At the time my choices were extremely limited and to be honest, I didn’t have much to live for.”

Tears filled my eyes.  He didn’t have to tell me more.  I knew enough about the intelligence community to know what he wasn’t telling me.  I didn’t want to know.  “Lee…I’m so, so sorry.”

“Let me take your coat. Why don’t you have a seat and stay for a while?  We can… talk about other things.”

I shed my coat and folded it over the back of a chair.  Lee reached out for my hand and we sat next to each other on the small couch.  For the longest time neither of us said a word.  I stared at his hand in mine.  Twelve hours ago I would have never believed it possible.

“You managed fairly well over the years,” Lee commented.  “Starting your own business doing background checks…

“Who’s been keeping tabs on me?” I asked, my tone no longer accusing, now it was curiosity.  Since he hadn’t been in the country, I knew someone else was filling him in on my life and my family’s life.

“A few people.  T.P., Leatherneck, even Francine at times.”

“Sounds like you’re still plugged into the DC intelligence community,” I commented knowingly.

“I’ve been edging my way back in, reopening up channels of communications.  To be honest with you, it’s taken a long time.  Smyth did an impressive job with his smear campaign on the two of us.  If it wasn’t for the intelligence I’ve collected in the Middle East I probably wouldn’t have gotten my foot back in the door.”

I noticed that he looked away.  His face seemed worn and pained.  I wasn’t surprised when he changed the subject back to me.

“So how did you end up opening your own business?”

“It was a mixture of luck and tenacity.  I took the job at the produce company.  They kept getting fined by Immigration for hiring illegal aliens.  I asked them to let me look at the personnel files.  It took a while before they actually listened to me.  I ran enough background checks at the Agency to know what I was looking for.  After a few months, they transferred me to the personnel office.  It wasn’t long before they didn’t hire anyone without me running a screen on them.  Saved them a fortune and got Immigration off their backs.”

“How did you make the transition?  You know, from working for the produce company to owning your own business?”

“Word spread pretty quickly to some of the other companies that hire a lot of migrant laborers and minorities.  I started running personnel checks for the other companies at night, or the weekends for extra money.  Eventually I was working full-time at the produce company and fulltime at night and weekends for everyone else.  So I took the plunge and opened my own business.  The overhead was minimal; I already had the computer and several contacts throughout town.  I worked out of the family room for the first few months before space became an issue.”

“You’re amazing.”

“No I’m not.  I had to keep working, for my sanity, for the boys.  I had to put food on the table.  We ate a lot of bruised vegetables those first few months.” I sighed heavily, not wanting to talk anymore about myself.  I wanted to know more about my husband.  I wanted to know he was coming home for good.  “Tell me about your new job.”

“It’s not definite yet,” he said right up front.  “I talked to them on the phone just before the holidays and again last week.  I met them in person the other day for an in-depth interview.  They seemed to like what I could bring to the table.  My experience…”

“When will you know for sure?” I pressed.  I knew I couldn’t stand him leaving again.

“A few days.  To be honest, I think the job is mine.”

“What if…” I started hesitantly.

Lee interrupted me before I could finish. He must have seen the look in my eyes.  “I’ll find something else in town.  I’m not leaving again.  I’m not going back to Iraq, Iran or Lebanon.  I’ll be honest with you, Amanda, it was pure luck that I wasn't kiilled.  The places I’ve been; the things I’ve seen…”

I could feel myself losing hold of my emotions.  I was tired, physically and emotionally. It had been a long day.  My life had changed in an instant.  “We’ve lost more than five years, Lee.  It’s not fair,” I whispered, trying hard to hold back my tears, but clearly I was going to lose the battle.

Lee got up, went into the bathroom and brought out some tissues.  He tried to dab my eyes dry, but there were too many tears.  Finally he pulled me to him and I sobbed in his arms.

I cried until my tears were spent.  He patted my back and whispered softly into my ear, much like a parent would to an injured child.  For the first time in years I felt like I was where I belonged.  His arms were strong and protective.  I nuzzled against his chest wanting to stay there for the evening, but finally I pulled away.  I must have been a sight, but he was smiling at me.  I loved his eyes, his smile.  His hair, the touch of grey gave him a sexy, distinguished appearance.

This time it wasn’t Lee who initiated the kiss it was me.  I didn’t want him to worry about being swatted again. I looked up into his loving eyes.  He knew what I intended to do.  The corners of his lips turned up and encouraged me silently.  In an instant my lips captured his warm and willing lips.  It was as if time had stopped.  I have no idea how long we kissed but it wasn’t long enough to make up for the years of being apart.  My hands started to explore his muscular body and I felt him tentatively touch my face.

“I’m going too fast, aren’t I?” I asked, pulling away from him.

He chuckled softly for a moment, but shook his head. His husky replied reassured me.  “Not for me, Mrs. Stetson.  I’ve waited long enough don’t you think?”

That was all it took.  What happened next was a blur.  We kissed, touched and undressed each other, exploring each others body with familiarity only lovers knew.  Our love making was better than I remembered it to be.  More intense, more satisfying and most of all exhausting.  We both fought off sleep as long as we could, but eventually we both succumbed.  It was the best night sleep I enjoyed in over five years.

When the morning came and I awoke in unfamiliar surroundings, my mind was in a fog.

“Good morning, Mrs. Stetson,” Lee greeted me when I fluttered open my eyes.

I cuddled closer to him, spooning my naked body into his.  His warm body so close to mine… That’s when I realized this wasn’t the same dream I’ve been having the last few years.  My eyes flew open – wide!

“Lee!?” I gasped out in confusion, blinking furiously expecting the man so close to me to vanish into thin air as he had every morning since I started having this dream several years ago.

“That’s not exactly the reception I was hoping for after last night,” he admitted, slightly ill at ease.

My heart was still racing.  “I’m… not… dreaming?  You’re really here?  I’m here?  We’re here… together?”

His features softened, and he grinned.  His hand reached out and caressed my face.  “I promise you this is not a dream, although if it had been, it would definitely be one of the best.”

I luxuriated in his gentle touch.  His warm hands were fondling my body once again; his lips were tenderly brushing my neck, then my shoulders.  I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation, but I knew where this was leading to.  Reluctantly, I reached for his hand.  “Lee, we can’t.  Not right now.  What time is it?”

Glancing over at the clock on the table we both saw it was half past seven.

“I’ve got to get to work…” I groaned.  “I don’t want to, but I’ve already been out of the office most of yesterday.”

“What time do you get out of work?”

“I promise to leave there by four.  What are you doing today?” I asked.

“I was going to look for an apartment.”

“You don’t need an apartment!” I answered, shocked at the idea.  “You can check out of here this morning and move your things into the house where you belong.”

“Really?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Unless you don’t want to…” I replied, but the pleased grin on his face told me he did.  “I better take a quick shower.”

I got out of our warm bed and started picking up my clothes that were lying all over the floor, shaking my head at the selection of clothes I had hastily chosen last night.    “I have to go back to the house and change.  I can’t wear this to the office.”

I got up and went to the bathroom.  Turning on the shower water I climbed in, half surprised Lee Stetson hadn’t joined me.  I was rinsing the shampoo out of my hair when I felt his warm touch on my breasts.

“Lee,” I groaned again with a mixture of delight and dread.  “As much as I’d like to, we can’t.  I’m going to be late as it is.”

“You’re not going into work today at all, Mrs. Stetson,” he answered confidently as he soaped up my body  with his hands.

God his touch felt wonderful.  For a few moments I didn’t protest.  Instead I closed my eyes and allowed myself to indulge in the soapy massage I was getting.  Halfheartedly, I reached for his hand.

“I really want to stay, Lee, but I don’t work with you anymore.  I am the boss and I have a meeting this morning at nine with a new client that nobody else can handle.  Not to mention I was out of the office most of yesterday.”

“I don’t think you understand, Amanda,” Lee said, teasing me with little kisses on my neck, ignoring my protests, as minimal as they were while the water cascaded down on us.  “Did you watch the weather report last night?”

“No,” I answered turning to face him allowing the water to pelt my back remembering that I was too busy cleaning my clean house to watch the evening news.

He smiled knowingly, kissing my forehead.  His eyes sparkled at the secret he had yet to share.  Then in an assured voice he explained.  “The city’s at a standstill.  There’s a foot of snow outside .  The roads are impassable, even the government offices are closed down for the day.”

I studied my husband carefully.  I wasn’t sure if he was telling me the truth or making this whole story up in the hopes that I would stay.  “Are you serious?”

“Absolutely,” he answered without hesitation.

I rinsed off the rest of the soap, reached for a towel and stepped out of the tub.  “I’ll just go check for myself if you don’t mind.”

“Be my guest,” he nodded, as he continued in the shower.

I dried myself quickly, grabbed Lee’s comb on the counter and forced it through my wet and tangled hair.  Then I scurried out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around me.  I only took a few steps towards the window when I realized Lee wasn’t lying.  The window curtain was open and I watched as thick white flakes of snow fell wildly from the dark grey sky.

I found myself walking towards the window, staring at the snow as it was whipped around by the wind before eventually settling onto the ground.  The cars in the parking lot were all covered by a thick white blanket.  There weren’t any cars on the roadway, in fact, you couldn’t tell at the moment where the roads were.  There was nothing but white for as far as the eye could see.

I watched the snow with the joy of a child knowing there would be no school for the day or in my case work.  My attention on the storm was so rapt that I never heard the water turn off or Lee sneak up behind me.  His warm arms encircled my body.  “You’re getting soft, Mrs. Stetson,” he teased.

I leaned back in his arms and closed my eyes still not entirely certain that this wasn’t just another dream.  I could feel he was aroused and countered mischievously.  “You’re not!”

Lee nibbled at my neck.  I craned it to the side allowing him better access.  Finally I turned towards him.

“Promise me this is not a dream?” I asked.

His hand caressed my face, reassuring me tactilely that this was real.  “It’s not a dream.  We’re here together and we’re going to remain together – forever.”

“I guess our luck’s finally starting to change,” I sighed dreamily.

“I certainly hope so,” he answered, capturing my lips in his and initiating a kiss that made my heart pound and raised my body temperature a few degrees.

“I guess we’ll have to wait until later to move me into your house,” Lee remarked when our kiss finally ended.

“Our house,” I corrected immediately.

“So I guess you’ll be staying a little longer this morning?”

I nodded silently, allowing Lee to lift me off my feet and carry me willingly back to the bed.  Thoughts of work and the snowstorm quickly vanished.  Our towels were hastily discarded and our passion again consumed us both.  This time our love making was not as frenetic as it was last night, instead it was more deliberate and tender.  Just the same, time flew by much too quickly.  As we lay in each other’s arms later that morning I glanced up into my husband’s eyes.  I saw happiness and serenity reflecting back at me.

“I love you, Mr. Stetson,” I replied as my mind was racing with all the plans for our future – together.

“I love you, Mrs. Stetson,” he whispered as he held me close.  We both glanced out the window, but neither of us cared that the snow had finally stopped falling…
 

End Part Three
 
 

***
 

 REUNION... The Conclusion
 

February 9, 1994
 

It snowed again last night and I decided to work at home today instead of driving myself to the office.  I sat at my desk in mother’s old bedroom which I had converted into a home office after she moved out. I was finishing up some personal business when I heard Lee’s car pull into the driveway.  I smiled, glad that he was home.  I was enjoying having him around to share in my life again.  The last few weeks had been wonderful; the void in my heart and my life had again been filled.

“Amanda?” Lee called out from downstairs a few minutes later.  “You shouldn’t have shoveled the driveway.”

“It really wasn’t that bad today, only a couple of inches and I needed the fresh air.  I left the sidewalk for you to finish,” I answered back.    It was nothing compared to the snowstorm we had the day Lee and I were stranded in his hotel room.  He shoveled out both of our cars that afternoon and we checked out of the hotel the following morning.  When we got home that day he insisted on shoveling the driveway and sidewalk – that was an exhausting job.  “How was your day?”

“Just fine,” he answered in a content voice.  I heard him coming up the stairs and then he entered the room.  “You still working?”

“Not really.  I’m finally sending a very long thank you note to Emily,” I answered.  “We never did get to have tea because she returned to England just after the snowstorm.”

“Send her my love.”

“I already did.”  Turning towards him, I noticed he had something behind his back.  I raised my eyebrow, wondering what he brought home today. “More flowers?”

“No, they’re not flowers, Mrs. Stetson,” he answered, but his playful grin told me he had something in his concealed hand.

“You’re hiding something.”  Last week it was chocolates, which I firmly reminded him I really didn’t need, but he explained they were to celebrate his first day at his new job which seems to be working out quite well.  Monday it was flowers, a beautiful bouquet to celebrate something else that he made up.

“Tickets!” he answered excitedly.

“Not for tonight?” I asked, not wanting to go out in the snowy mess.

“No, Saturday,” he answered with a sparkle in his eye.

“To see what?” I asked, not sure what was playing around town.  The last few weeks had been a blur; I’d barely seen a newspaper.  First it was moving Lee into the house and him accepting his new job.  Then it was explaining to mother and the boys that Lee was back and that we eloped.  OK, so I failed to mention that we did it back in 1987, but Lee insisted that the boys were not to be told about what Joe had done.  Their father was dead, and we agreed to let sleeping dogs lie.

“It’s not what; it’s where,” he answered, the smile on his face growing.

I knew something was up and I have to admit the suspense was killing me.  Our anniversary was on Sunday, so my first guess was back to the Inn in Marion.  “Where are we going, someplace with a cozy fireplace I hope?”

“Not exactly,” he mumbled as the smile of his face began to fade.

“Lee, it doesn’t really mater where we go as long as we’re together, right?” I reminded him and he nodded his head and handed me an envelope.

“Go on, open it.”

My eyes glanced at the plain white envelope, frustrated that it didn’t give me the slightest clue as to our weekend destination.  I tore open the flap and pulled out two tickets – airline tickets.  My eyes flashed up meeting his for a few moments, but he remained silent.  I grabbed my glasses, not being able to read the small print to determine our destination.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.

“Hawaii?!” I shouted excitedly.

“I thought you’d like to get out of the cold weather for the week.”

I stood up and threw my arms around my husband kissing him delightedly.  “Oh, Lee, I was thinking about calling the Inn this weekend, but this is much, much better.”

Lee Stetson looked like he was going to burst with happiness.  “Since your mother and the boys think we just got married, I figured it was only fair for us to have a second honeymoon.”

“What about work?  You just started your new job two weeks ago,” I reminded him.

“I negotiated this week off before I started,” he answered slyly.  “I just never mentioned it to you.  I wanted it to be a surprise.  You’ll have to take the week off.  That’s not a problem, is it?”

“No, I’ll work it out.  Today’s Wednesday, that gives me two days to rearrange any appointments for next week,” I explained excitedly.  “This is such a wonderful surprise.”

A relieved looked washed across his face.  “Amanda, your mother and the boys think we just eloped.  Our first honeymoon in California was nothing short of a disaster.  We never got to celebrate our first anniversary because well… you know.  This is the first anniversary we’ll get to spend together.  I want this week to be special.  I want to make up for all those anniversaries we missed...”

“Create new memories for our new life together.”  I shook my head.  I understood.  “Lee, I love it.  It’s a wonderful, romantic idea.  I couldn’t have asked for anything better.  Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

“Not nearly as much as I love you,” he replied as he pulled me into his embrace and drew me into a kiss that tickled my toes.

Lee’s kisses always evoked such passion from me.  Moments later I was in his arms being carried into our bedroom.  Dinner would be late again as we spent the next hour making love.  As we cuddled together in our bed afterwards, I was beginning to wonder if we’d ever make it out of our hotel room in Hawaii.

Despite the fact that there was no way we could ever make up for the missing years in our lives, I have to admit, Lee Stetson tried…

The end
 
 

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