Miah's World

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The first time I saw this picture, I knew it portrayed for me, what Bipolar feels like inside. The colors shooting up represent Mania, while the deep dark pool is my Depression.

Aurora Borealis Picture

Bipolar. Such a small word for such a devastating illness. For those unfamliar with this illness, it's also commonly called Manic-Depression. Ah, I hear many of you sigh in comprehension now. I was struck by Bipolar Disorder in my early thirties. It was the prime of life, enjoying my boyfriend, family and my medical profession. Suddenly I found myself one day either crying one moment, or "high" as a kite the next it seemed. I thought my many years in the medical fields had caught up to me, and that I needed a break. I took two weeks off and did my best to bring myself around. But instead things continued to get much, much worse. After those two weeks I somehow struggled back to work, in worse shape than ever. I lasted exactly one week, before having to take yet another two off. Being surrounded by medical friends and personnal does not guarentee they see what is going on, nor accept it. The very first day back, after that second two weeks off found me at the back of the hospital, where the Dr's park and enter, waiting for my family Dr to arrive. In tears, I finally gave in, went to the city, was hospitilized and finally a name given to what I was going through. Bipolar Disorder. It was the beginning of a very long journey that I work hard to maintain daily even now. So what is Bipolar Disorder? Below are the symptoms as listed by The National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association.

Symptoms of Depression: Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells. Significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns. Irritability, anger, worry, agitation, anxiety pessimism, indifference. Loss of energy, persistent lethargy. Feelings of guilt, worthlessness. Inability to concentrate, indecisiveness. Inability to take pleasure in former interests, social withdrawal. Unexplained aches and pains. Recurring thoughts of death or suicide.

Symptoms of Mania: Heightened mood, exaggerated optimism and self confidence. Decreased need for sleep without experiencing fatigue. Grandiose delusions, inflated sense of self-importance. Excessive irritability, aggressive behavior. Increased physical and mental activity. Racing speech, flight of ideas, impulsiveness. Poor judgment, easily distracted. Reckless behavior such as spending sprees, rash business decisions, erratic driving, sexual indiscretions. In the most severe cases, hallucinations. Anyone experiencing four or more of the above symptoms of either or both depression or mania should seek help if symptoms persist for longer than two weeks.

Bipolar Disorder isn't something you just take a pill for, and it goes away. This is a lifetime disorder. The plus is that for most people, it's a disease that can be controlled pretty well. There are several types of Bipolar Disorder, mine is called Rapid Cycling. Most bipolars under treatment have cycles of highs and lows a few times a year. I have them every few weeks, sometimes every few days. This makes life somewhat of a challenge most days for me. Though I continue to fight and stay positive daily. I tend to cycle high up for several days, no sleep, little to eat. Then crash......hard into depression, unable to rise from bed even for the most minor of things. I've been very medication resistant, not by choice, I take every pill I'm prescribed, my body just doesn't respond. Finally I rise, have a few "normal" days, then start all over again. The way I'm able to even deal with this is with strong support from tons of online Friends. I used to host Bipolar, Depression, Pet, and Wellness chats on a server, that understood and accepted me for what I am, not what I have. My elderly neighbors that I've met after MANY years of living in total isolation, middle of the desert, with no neighbors have been very kind to me. I have close contact with my fantastic Physician and most of all, my pets that have kept me going, when all seemed dim. I may have lost the career I loved, and the medical family I had so many years, but I've found a family and friends just as important to me now here online. Without all of this, I'm not certain I would be here today, to help others deal with it. This Page is dedicated to you all. My family didn't really accept this at first, but they are better about it now. but I feel I have support around me sometimes, to keep me going most times. I have been on SSD now, for almost 13 years now, but there is always the chance, that someday, the wonder drug that will work on my wacky system will help me enough, that I can feel more normal, more days. I've tried so many meds, but I've never given up, that the next one around the corner, might be the magic one..

To My Friends Life is like the ocean, it's rough and unsettling when you're alone. But you can surround yourself with people, who stand tall, like pillars of stone. Soon you'll find that your rushing waters, have become a calm, soothing bay. And the people you can rely on, are there for you everyday. Thank you for being my rock, never moved by the troubling sea. And remember when your waters get rough, you can find your bay, just look for me. "Author Unknown"

Globe

Helpful links for both people with Bipolar and their families.

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

Paul J. Markovitz M.D., Ph.D of The Bipolar Disorder Sanctuary

Mental Health Net

Dr Ivan Goldberg, Formerly on the staff of the National Institute of Mental Health

Support4Hope, A safe place to chat about Bipolar.

The chat portion of this site, is closed, due to the server refusing to host the chat portion of this site. But you can find many other links, that may help you, especially the Forum link.
Help for Parents of Children with Bipolar

Another site, for parents of Bipolar Children, though there is a ton of information that parents will find help them too. Bipolar Disorders Center

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