TITLE: The Pact
AUTHOR: Matteabrit, August 2002
SUMMARY: After the events of Endgame, Kathryn reminds Chakotay of an agreement that was made some years previously
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, the characters that is. The writing? Oh yes, totally mine… and keep your paws off it!

The party was still in full swing when she left; everyone was celebrating their amazing return back to the Alpha Quadrant. Her departure did not go unnoticed however and, with a quiet word to the woman beside him, Commander Chakotay set out after her. Standing outside her quarters and failing to get a response to his hails he entered in his override and let himself in, only to find it empty. Her commbadge lay on her coffee table, glinting at him in the starlight.

In despair he left for his own quarters. It was apparent that Kathryn was not as happy as she might have been at their return home and his heart ached for her. Kathryn had every right to celebrate; she had worked hard to get their crew home and now victory was hers. But there was evidently something troubling her. He began to wonder if he might somehow be the cause of her worry, but the Maquis issue had been decided some time previously and so he chided himself for thinking that she might even be thinking of him.

“Are you alone?” a quiet voice asked as he stepped into his own starry lit quarters.

“Yes,” he replied, attempting to see her in the near darkness.

“Good.” She laughed, a sort of hollow laugh, a very non-Kathryn laugh. “I’d hate to have Seven of bloody Nine see me like this.”

Something was most definitely wrong. “Computer, adjust lighting, twenty-five percent,” Chakotay demanded. The computer complied and what Chakotay saw shocked him.

There before him on the couch lay his captain, his best friend, his… Kathryn. She was dressed in a black satin and lace slip that seemed to cling to her figure, stopping at mid thigh. That was all she wore. The rest of her was bare. In her hand was a half-empty bottle of champagne and her eyes were glassed over.

“Hello, Chakotay,” she slurred, as though seeing him for the first time. “How the hell are you?” She paused but before he could say anything she dismissed him with a wave of her hand. “On second thoughts, don’t answer that. I can tell you’re fine, absolutely bloody fine.” She laughed and leaned forward slightly. “However, I am not.”

He took a hesitant step forward. “Kathryn, I…”

“Don’t you Kathryn me,” she hissed. She sat upright suddenly, swinging her feet over the edge of his couch. “It’s obvious you’ve forgotten what day it is. The problem is that I…” she took another drink from the bottle. “…Have not.”

Chakotay’s mind was drawing a blank. What could possibly be more important about tonight than getting home that could have Kathryn acting like this? It was evidently something concerning him as well, and perhaps it was related to Seven as well, judging from Kathryn’s less than stellar comment about her. “You’ve lost me, Kathryn,” he finally said.

Kathryn sunk back onto the couch. “I know,” she replied sadly. “I lost you a long time ago, it seems. I wanted this day for so long and now I find it’s not the day I had dreamed of. You’re lost to me.” She smiled weakly. “I’m sorry, Chakotay. I shouldn’t have come here. I’ve managed to make a complete fool of myself.” Slowly she stood up and slowly, haltingly headed for the door. “Forgive an old friend, please?”

Suddenly it came to him just what Kathryn was referring to. “The agreement,” he gasped. “How the hell could I forget that?”

His friend turned back from the door. “It’s okay, Chakotay,” she said, smiling, even though the tears were beginning to drift down her cheek.

“No, it’s not, damn it.” His voice grew louder and more insistent. “We made a pact, you and I. This night should have been a lot more than it is. Except I went and screwed it up.” He didn’t dare approach her; instead it was his turn to sit down in complete shock at the turn of events. How could he have forgotten something so important as this?

“It’s okay, Chakotay,” Kathryn replied, attempting to reassure him. “As long as you’re happy.” She looked at him, head tilted to one side. “Are you happy, my friend?”

He stared blankly at her. “Are you?”

“Does it matter?”

He nodded. Things were becoming clear now. Kathryn had come to fulfill the pact they had made all those years ago; that, if and when they got home, if they still felt the way they had then they would finally come together.

Which meant that Kathryn obviously still felt the same.

“Yes,” he nodded breathlessly. “It does. It matters a hell of a lot.”

Because suddenly he knew exactly how he felt as well. He was in love. And it wasn’t with the woman he was dating.

Kathryn looked down at the floor for a long while. Finally she burst out, “Okay, so I’m not happy, but what difference does it make? You obviously don’t feel the same way anymore. I should just let it go.” She appeared to wobble slightly and she raised a hand to her head. “I don’t feel so well,” she muttered. Her hand extended to grasp at the wall.

Chakotay managed to jump up and get across the room just before she slumped to the ground. Holding the semiconscious woman in his arms he shook his head in disbelief. “Kathryn, Kathryn, Kathryn,” he muttered. “What have we done?”

She opened her eyes and gazed up at him. “I love you,” she murmured before falling into a deep slumber.

He awoke to the sound of someone beside him groaning. Turning in his bed his eyes met Kathryn’s. She closed hers again almost immediately. “What the hell am I doing here?” she croaked out, swallowing hard.

“Want the long or short version?” He propped himself onto one elbow and stared down at her. Godds, she was beautiful. Even at her worst, she was still the best thing to see first in the morning.

She emitted another groan. “Do you need to shout?” When she received no answer she opened her eyes again and looked up at him. “What happened?”

Chakotay sighed. “Long story short. I screwed up; you made me see where I’d screwed up. You decided to share your evening with a bottle of champagne. Good enough?”

Her eyes closed again. “I think I remember now.” After a second or so in silent contemplation. “I managed to make a complete fool of myself, Commander, and for that I apologise.” Her tone might have been more of a concern for him if she hadn’t tried to move at the same time. “Damn,” she groaned. “That hurt.”

“Stay here,” he said in a gentle voice and slid out of bed. Padding through to the other room in his bare feet he made his way to the replicator and called up a hangover remedy he’d used on occasion. “Here,” he said on his return. “Drink this.”

“What is it?” she asked suspiciously as she slowly raised herself to a sitting position.

“Something that’s good for you,” he told her in soothing tones, making sure she took the glass from him.

“I’d rather have a coffee.”

He couldn’t help but smile. “Tell you what, drink this and then I’ll get you one, okay?”

She tried to glare at him but failed miserably. Sipping at the drink she slowly began to look more alive. Eventually she rested the glass on her lap and looked at him. “I’m sorry.”

Sitting there, on the edge of the bed, Chakotay just looked at her. “What for?” he asked simply.

“For making such a complete fool of myself last night. I never should have said or done what I did.” She shook her head. “Can you forgive me?”

Chakotay’s heart bled for her. If there was anyone who should have been asking for forgiveness in this scenario it should have been him. Taking her hands in one of his, he ran the palm of his other hand down her cheek. “There is absolutely nothing to forgive,” he smiled at her.

“But what I did was wrong.”

“What you did was absolutely right.” He took a deep breath. “Kathryn, I’m the one who’s screwed up. I’m the one who should be asking your forgiveness. I guess…”

“You have a life, Chakotay,” she told him. “I should never have expected you to wait for me.”

“I’ve got lousy timing,” he admitted. “If I’d known we’d be getting home so soon…”

Kathryn pulled one of her hands out from under his and placed it on his arm. “The Admiral…” She hesitated. “The Admiral said you married her.”

Chakotay looked down at their joined hands. “Well, that was the Admiral’s timeline and I’m not about to guess what might have happened there. But I do know this, Kathryn. In this timeline there’s only one person I can think of that I’d want to marry and it certainly isn’t Seven of Nine.” Cautiously he lifted his head back up. Her words last night had indicated that she did feel the same about him as he did about her, but she’d also been pretty well intoxicated also. “Kathryn, we’re home. I love you. The pact was that if we still had strong feelings for each other when we got home we’d act on them. I don’t know about you, but I think I want to act on them, right now in fact.”

Her eyes widened at the implication of what he’d said. “What about Seven?”

He sighed. “I’ll talk to her, but it’s not really fair on her for me to be dating her while I’m in love with someone else.”

“I don’t want to hurt her.”

This was just one of the many reasons why he loved the woman lying in his bed; she was always so concerned for everyone else even when she should be thinking of herself. “Don’t you worry about Seven,” he said gently. “I’ll subtly steer her in the direction of sickbay. I’m sure there’s a doctor there who’d be perfectly willing to take my place.”

She smiled at him. “You really are a bastard, you know that?”

Chakotay leaned in closer to her and grinned. “I am. But that’s why you love me.” He realised, belatedly, that saying such words might well have him sent to the brig if he’d misunderstood the entire conversation but feeling her arm go around his neck allayed his fears.

“You’re right, I do,” she smiled. She pulled him closer to her and he had just enough time to smile back at her before her lips met his.

FINIS

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