Disclaimer:

I am not these characters’ mom:
They’re all owned by Paramount-Viacom.
I simply borrow them for fun,
‘Cause Spock is my hon,
And I think Captain Kirk is The Bomb.

Let me add here, with crystal clear diction:
This is an amateur work of fan fiction.
It’s been written for free,
With no profit to me,
And I don’t want to cause any friction.

The residents of Hystericus Nine
Lived a life of despair and repine.
By the Klingons enslaved
(A people cruel and depraved)
They toiled endlessly down in a mine.

“Dilithium crystals you’ll quarry
Or meet an end both unpleasant and gory,”
Barked the commander, K’rap.
“And don’t lose a scrap:
I’ll be taking a full inventory.”

“How much longer can we possibly endure
These conditions, which at best are so poor
We all have bronchitis
Combined with chronic gastritis
And are facing a death premature?”

But Admiral Komack told Kirk of the plight
Of the Hystericans. “Go - do what is right
And set them all free,
Then report back to me
Once you’ve made all the Klingons contrite.”

Kirk said with a look brave and steady,
“I will sir. Our phasers are ready
And so is the crew.
We all know what to do.
‘Hear us roar,’ to quote singer Helen Reddy.”

Long story short: they did roar
And the Hystericans slaves were no more.
“We all are so grateful –
Those Klingons were hateful
And the mining made us terribly sore.”

“You’re the greatest hero we ever have seen,”
Said the Hysterican’s leader and queen.
“You’ve set us all free,
And if you ask me,
Earned a reward that is truly supreme.”

She clapped her hands and made a singular decree:
“Bring the tub made of gold filigree
And that extra special potion
That I keep by the lotion
Near the Q-Tips and my deodorant, Degree.”

The water was drawn in a flash
And to it, the queen added a dash
Of the mysterious stuff.
It gave out a puff
And then started to bubble and splash.

When the bubbles rose over the brim,
In satisfaction, the queen turned to him.
“Your bath’s ready: climb in,
And enjoy. It’s no sin:
You surely deserve this, dear Jim.”

Jim said, “You needn’t have troubled
To draw me a bath that is bubbled.
My shower is sonic -
An adequate tonic,
Though with water the pleasure is doubled.”

The queen smiled and held up her hand.
“I fear you don’t quite understand.
To miss this would be tragic:
These bubbles are magic
And are here, Jim, for you to command.”

She continued as the bubbles grew higher,
“Only think of your true heart’s desire
And what you’ve most wanted
Will surely be granted.
Just get in, and watch it transpire.”

Jim thought to himself, “Hmm. I doubt
The queen knows what she’s talking about.
These magical suds
Are sure to be duds
Devoid of any conjuring clout.”

Still, this gesture of the queen’s was so kind
That he thought, “I really don’t mind
Going along with the game.
It’s all one and the same,
And a long bath will help me unwind.”

So he took off his clothes and got in
And said to the queen with a grin,
“This feels just great.
It’s an enviable fate
To be in bubbles clean up to your chin.”

The queen told him, “But do not forget:
There’s more to this than just getting wet.
It would be horribly dire
To neglect your desire.
Wish it now, so your dream will be met.”

With that, she swept from the room
To work at her sewing or loom
Or do whatever queens will
When they’ve spare time to kill
And need to keep themselves from ennui or gloom.

Jim sighed and said with regret,
“Don’t worry: I’ll never forget
What I want and I need
Though he never will heed
And my desire will forever be unmet.”

He shut his eyes and thought of the touch
That he’d wanted so often and much.
“If only he would…
But this dreaming’s no good
It’s nothing more than a lie and a crutch.”

***

Spock tried time and again to resist
The urge, but it wouldn’t desist.
“Twas an illogical whim
To go and find Jim –
For what purpose, he couldn’t have guessed.

He left his calculations and math
To pursue step by step the path
He thought Jim had taken.
Spock wasn’t mistaken:
He found Jim at last in the bath.

He said in a voice shy and soft,
And one eyebrow held slightly aloft,
“I can’t tell you why
But I had to stop by,
Though I’d no idea your clothes had been doffed.”

Jim jumped and his eyes opened wide:
His heart’s desire stood right by his side!
“They conjured up Spock,”
He thought, utterly in shock.
“They are magic: it can’t be denied.”

Jim’s recovery as always was fast.
He said before the opportunity was past,
“Come get in with me.
It’s terrific: you’ll see –
But hurry - the bubbles won’t last.”

Spock blushed and averted his gaze.
“I could never,” he said in a daze
Caused by glimpses of skin
On bare shoulder and shin.
“’Twould be illogic – and that never pays.”

“I must follow the path of Surak’s
And keep on my boots and my slacks
And likewise my tunic:
I must live like a eunuch
Until pon farr sneaks up and attacks.”

“Seven years is a long time to be spent
Living life like a monk during Lent.
But this is mere chatter,
And really doesn’t matter:
It’s a bath, Spock – it’s all innocent.”

Spock said weakly, “No, really, I ought…”
But he never quite finished the thought:
The sight of Jim wet
Made him completely forget.
Spock sighed. He knew he was caught.

He said to Jim, “Sir, please close your eyes
While I strip down to bare chest and thighs.”
Jim said, “Oh, of course,”
Though his voice was quite hoarse
(And he peeked a great deal, I surmise).

“’Twas the temperature of freshly warmed broth
When Spock, naked, slid into the froth.
As he started to sit,
He was forced to admit
Jim drew him like a flame draws a moth.

Once ensconced, Spock sat straight up and prim
And wondered what had come over him.
He tried to think of square roots
Or of polishing his boots,
But he couldn’t take his mind off from Jim.

As the steam from the bath gently rose,
Spock calmed down. “Perhaps truly I chose
A not illogical path
When entering this bath.”
Suddenly he jumped. “Jim! Is that your toes?”

Jim grinned. “I should’ve warned you: they’re prehensile.
I can use them to write with a pencil,
And pick up dropped things
Like small coins and rings.
In short, they’re a damned handy utensil.”

They *were* handy, Spock silently conceded
As sweat on his brow slowly beaded.
He started to squirm
And grew uncomfortably firm
While Jim’s toes persistently kneaded.

Spock groaned, “Jim, you really must cease
And leave my genitalia in peace.
I’d- I’d better go home
And regain my aplomb...”
Jim whispered, “I can give you release.”

He leaned over the Vulcan in the tub
And took Spock’s cock, now thick as a club.
“You’ll enjoy this, I know,”
He said, his voice low,
And proceeded to stroke and to rub.

Spock’s movements became quite erratic
When subjected to these caresses aquatic.
“Ah, Jim! I shall come,
For your fingers and thumb
Are making me far too ecstatic!”

Jim smiled at this, but retreated
Before Spock’s stiff cock was depleted.
He had to be callous:
He had plans for that phallus
No matter how Spock begged and entreated.

He spread wide his legs to entice
And said, “What I think would be nice
Is to be fucked hard and long
By that magnificent schlong…
Up the ass, to be more precise.”

Spock protested, “On no account
Would I presume my captain to mount.
You’re my officer superior –
I can’t invade your interior…
Though I’ve wanted to, more times than I count.”

Turning away, Jim got on his knees
And told Spock, “Just fuck me, please.
You’re so beautifully inflated,
And I’ll never be sated
Till you’ve shoved yourself in by degrees.”

So putting aside his reservations and fear,
Spock approached his nude captain from the rear.
He grunted and rammed
Till he was so thoroughly crammed
He made every inch disappear.

“Oh, Spock, I swear that you’ll split me,
So blissfully tightly you fit me.
When you fuck my behind,
I just lose my mind:
When you’re done, they may have to commit me.”

For some time, they flailed and thrashed
As their screwing grew more unabashed.
With thrust after thrust
They both fed their lust
While the bathwater roiled and splashed.

Spock finally broke apart like a prism
Breaks light into colors; a schism
So extreme
He gave forth a scream
When he pumped Jim’s ass full of jism.

Jim arched and then stiffened and cried
As Spock’s semen jetted against his inside.
He began to explode
And shot his own load
With Spock hanging on for the ride.

***

Now, watching it all though unseen
Was the kindly Hystericus queen.
“I think they’ll be there awhile,”
She said to herself with a smile,
As she finally turned away from the scene.

In her hand she held the mysterious potion -
The magic fluid that had caused such commotion.
There was only one trouble:
It was plain Mr. Bubble
Enhanced by her imaginative promotion.

The End