~ This month's topics: Finding Contentment, Parenting & Being a Stay-at-Home-Mom ~  Hello again! Since I last wrote, a lot has happened as I continue in my quest for greater simplicity in my life. Unfortunately, I had to learn a lot of this the hard way! The past 2 weeks have been chock full of activity … nothing major but things like church commitments, having my son’s picture taken and registering my daughter for Kindergarten. None of these were major time-consumers, but having everything take place in the span of 10 days really put some stress in my days! I was lucky enough to find a Christian Book Outlet store nearby me during that time and I purchased a couple of books dealing with the idea of simplicity and contentment. I am going to share a bit from one of the books with you today. The book is called Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow and it is fantastic! (There is a journal that goes with it called (what else?) Calm my Anxious Heart Journal.) It even includes a 12-week Bible Study in the back of the book which I will tackle once I’m done reading it. I have learned so much about myself and what kind of relationship I want to have with God while reading this book. I’m going to share some points from about the first one-third of the book …. I’ll leave the rest of the book for you to delve into on your own! In the first few pages, Ms. Dillow shares the following prescription for contentment that came from the diary of a missionary woman, Ella, who spent 52 years with the pygmies in Africa: ~ Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else. ~ Never compare your lot with another’s. ~ Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise. ~ Never dwell on tomorrow – remember that (tomorrow) is God’s, not ours. WOW! Did that passage ever speak to me about how I can achieve a life full of contentment. How simple the statements truly are separately, but when taken together, I don’t see how one cannot feel satisfied with the life they are given and leading! The author goes on to say, "The secret is in Ella’s last statement. Her eyes are fixed on eternity. Her tomorrows belonged to God. She had given them to Him. And because all her tomorrows were nestled in God’s strong arms, she was free to live today. One day at a time she could make the right choices and grow to possess the holy habit of contentment. Ella’s focus was eternal, and her focus led to an internal contentment." (If you are looking for scripture about the secret of contentment, read Philippians 4:11-13.) Ms. Dillow says a few pages later, "Contentment is accepting God’s sovereign control over all of life’s circumstances." She says that "God fills our cup with our portion, what He determines best. Our portion is our physical and emotional being, our abilities, circumstances, role and relationships." God created us – our personalities as well as our physical appearance. I know that I’m pretty happy with the internals of my being, but the externals could use a little work! In doing Weigh Down (you can read my journal here!), I’ve come to be a lot more accepting of how I appear on the outside because I know that it is really who I am becoming on the inside that matters to God. Ms. Dillow reminded me of this when she quotes an article by Reverend James Hufstetler which stated the following: you will never have stable emotions, you will never lead a life of godly contentment, you will never conquer jealousy and love others as you should until you thank God for making you the way He did." How about finding contentment with your role in life? Boy, has this been a big struggle for me in the past few years! I wouldn’t trade being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) for anything because I can’t imagine letting someone else "raise" my kids in these early years. However, sometimes the conditions surrounding "24 hours, 7 days a week, 365 days a year" parenting are not conducive to feeling contentment. My work area is always messy (or so it appears to me!), there’s been no structured break in my day (more on how I changed that later!), and the vacation time is non-existent! Oh yeah, sure, we "go on vacation" the two weeks my hubby is off from work, but it’s still not a vacation for me! I know most of you mothers out there will agree with me on that one! I read something last week which really tickled me and I hope you enjoy it: "BOSTON - On paper, mothers are worth a lot. As a cook, financial manager, psychologist and bus driver, American mothers should pull in $508,700 per year based on average U.S. salaries, according to a study by Edelman Financial Services in Fairfax, Virginia. ``Since a mother wears many hats and is on duty 24 hours a day, we decided a typical mother deserves a full-time yearly salary for 17 key occupational positions,'' said financial analyst Ric Edelman. ``The conclusion we reached is that no matter how much you are indebted to your mom, it's not enough,'' Edelman added. " Boy, wouldn’t it be nice to earn that much a year! I’ve struggled with contentment as a SAHM for so long that all I could see were the negatives until the past few weeks. God has been working in my heart these past weeks and I am truly enjoying being around my kids much more these days. I found a lot of truth in the following statement in Ms. Dillow’s book, "When does a woman become an adult? Perhaps it’s when she stops comparing her life to other women’s. We grow up when we see our life and our role from God’s perspective; when we thank God for the role He has assigned us and begin to see our cup as a gift instead of a cross; when each morning we ask, "God, how can I glorify You today in my given role?"" Luckily, I’m not alone in my struggle to parent well and I have support from several other families in my church – it seems we’ve all been re-assessing our parenting skills and are taking action! For me, this has meant limiting my children’s TV watching and computer usage to a maximum of 2 hours daily (total for both activities, NOT 2 hours for TV AND 2 hours for computer). This still may sound like a lot to some of you, but you have to know that my kids were probably spending 2-3 times that amount of time in front of the TV or computer screen on a daily basis. So far, so good! I’m sticking to my guns and the kids are doing very well with the new limitations. However, this means that I now have 2-4 hours a day which I have to fill with other activities! Luckily, I have the warm weather on my side and we can spend more time outdoors. I’ve also begun a "quiet time" from 1-2 pm each day where the kids must go to their separate bedrooms and entertain themselves. This not only forces them to rest and use their imaginations, but gives me a much-needed break in my day. I have prepared activity boxes for each of them containing coloring/activity books, crayons, scissors and magazines they can cut up, puzzles and some Colorform-type toys. They each have lots of toys and books in their rooms also. I’ve not had a nice daily break like this in 2 years since my son quit napping right before his 2nd birthday! I’m finding it heavenly! A lot of times, I use the hour to maintain my website, but this is ok because it means that it gives me an extra hour at night with my husband. See, I’m also trying to limit myself to a maximum of 2 hours computer time daily. Boy, what a struggle! I never really realized just how much time I spend on the Net until I limited my time! Ms. Dillow reminds us that "no role is without its difficulties and all roles provide opportunities. Think with me for a minute. Why did Jesus come to earth? Jesus gave His primary reason when He said He came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many. (Matthew 20:28.) He asks you and me to enter our worlds with the same purpose. Jesus humbled Himself and took the role of a servant. He used His assigned role to minister to those around Him and to give the ultimate gift of His very life …. Single women can choose to serve others as well; we don’t have to be married before we can give to others. Mothers can choose to nurture their children and cherish the time they have with them instead of waiting for the day when they’re gone from home. God has stamped "lifegiver" on all women, regardless of the role we play. Women who have no biological children may choose to ask God for the privilege of being a spiritual mother, a god-mother, or a substitute mother." These are truly powerful words to me as I try to finally find contentment with my role as a SAHM. You see, to me, my last 5½ years as a mother has been a CHORE! Yep, you read it right … I’ve not really truly enjoyed my children. Oh, sure, I love them dearly and know my life would not be complete without them. However, to me, it’s just been a fruitless occupation full of tons of cleaning, laundry, diapers, arguing (with and about the children!), etc. I’ve never stood back and seen parenting as God’s role for me!!! But since reading this book, my days have become a lot less stressful and I am soooooo thankful that God has seen fit to allow me to stay at home with my children Well, this has been a long update. Sorry if I seemed to ramble a bit, but my spiritual journey has just taken me by storm since becoming a Christian a few months ago and God speaks to me in so many ways each day. I’m like a toddler learning about her world through endless periods of discovery! I truly feel that I’ve been led to share this personal story with you in 1999. I hope that I can help someone in even the most minute way, even if it is only one person. If I can help even one person come to Christ or strengthen their commitment to Him,then the time spent on this website is well worth it (luckily my husband agrees with me!). I wish you the best for the rest of the month. If you’d like to consider purchasing Calm My Anxious Heart or the Calm my Anxious Heart Journal, click on the titles. After I finish reading this book, I will begin reading A Place Called Simplicity by Claire Cloninger, Grammy nominee and three-time Dove Award winner. I’ve already read a bit of the beginning and it looks really good also! Boy, I love a good uplifting book! Til next time! WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?
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