Chapter III: Only happy when it rains
"Sorprenderse, extrañarse, es comenzar a entender" José
Ortega y Gasset ("To be surprised, is to begin to understand")
Next morning, Anakin woke up to the smell of home cooked food. He rose slowly on his bed, smelling… pancakes? Interesting. He got up definitely and, leaving his pants in the room, got under the shower. He allowed the water to soak his body while he leaned into the wall, delighting in the hot cold contrast. A few minutes later, completely dressed in black, he descended to the small kitchen the house had. There, with the same serious expression he had when sitting in front of a datapad, Obi-wan was cooking what looked like pancakes. And chocolate. Delicious.
"You cook?", Obi-wan turned his head around a bit, half smiling to Anakin's skeptic expression.
"Yes, I do."
"Pancakes?", Anakin got closer to Obi-wan's back, watching the fire over Obi-wan's head and absorbing the smell of what were, indeed, pancakes. They smelled like heaven.
"Would you mind not invading my personal space?", unconsciously, he pushed a little against Anakin's body, but he clutched the borders of the kitchen, pressing Obi-wan between the fire and himself. Obi-wan kept his eyes on the mass that was starting to take shape.
"Nervous?"
"Annoyed", Anakin laughed a little and separated from the other man's back, taking his steps to the door. Yesterday, investigating the surroundings of the house, he had found a lake in a pretty empty space and he wanted to take a nice morning swim before facing the politicians, "sit down", he turned around when he heard the order, an involuntary dot of fury invading his features, he hated being ordered around. He was going to say that when he saw two plates of pancakes on the small table
that occupied the center of the kitchen."You made me breakfast?", he arched and incredulous eyebrow.
"I made breakfast", corrected Obi-wan raising a finger and sitting in front of one of the plates, "you don't have to eat it if you don't want to", the jedi grabbed a nearby datapad and, putting on a pair of glasses, started reading. Anakin, still wearing an incredulous expression, started walking slowly towards the table, almost expecting something to blow off in mid way, and sited in front of Obi-wan. He took a fork and pinched the pancakes carefully, looking for signs of something weird. Anything. But the pancakes seemed perfectly normal and they smelled too good to be rejected.
"Did you poison these?"
"Of course", Obi-wan's eyes were fixated on the datapad while knife and fork moved on top of the pancakes easily.
"You can't blame me for being prudent, you're being nice after all", Anakin pointed an accusing finger to Obi-wan, "how do I know you're telling the truth?", Obi-wan rolled his eyes, taking then his hands to them and rubbing them slowly. Then he put his light eyes on Anakin.
"If I had in mind producing you some sort of damage I would have to make sure no one found out. Poison? The Council would notice too soon in the autopsy", Anakin opened his mouth, but Obi-wan cut him by raising his hand slowly, "getting rid of the body would be too annoying. Besides, poison? Too… uncivilized, don't you think?", with a last look to Anakin's surprised eyes, he took his attention back to the datapad.
"Wow, you thought about it", he whispered seconds later, taking his gaze to the plate. Shrugging a little, he took a big piece to his mouth covered with lots of chocolate, having to call out for all of his self control not to moan because Force he had never eaten something as good as those pancakes, "they are… good", he conceded seconds later, getting only a hand movement from Obi- wan, "are you always reading?", he asked suddenly, "or you just do it so you don't have to talk to me?"
"I didn't know you wanted me to talk to you."
"I didn't say that", the answer was automatic, fast, "it was just a question."
They stayed in silence for some time, Obi-wan with his eyes on the screen and Anakin just eating his pancakes (the best ones he had ever tasted without a doubt, and it was one of his favorite dishes).
Obi-wan was trying to look as if he was interested in his reading, but the truth was he had read the same information over and over again. Nevertheless, he wouldn't recognize out loud that, indeed, he was avoiding conversation. Although he should call it confrontation, since that was what his relationship with Anakin was. The other jedi (he had learned not to call him kid or boy, since it had produced catastrophic results in other occasions) was annoying, especially for that tendency he had of invading his vital space. Nervous, he had said. Nervous, indeed. And he hated it.
"I didn't know you wore glasses", Anakin's voice kicked him out of his thoughts, making him look at him. He seemed to be analyzing him carefully.
"Well, we have spent less than a day together, so I would say it's a common thing", he offered him a satisfied smile and took his eyes back to the datapad.
"I was just stating a fact, there's no reason to be mean", Obi-wan wasn't capable of telling if Anakin was being honest or if was just trying to be annoying. The second one, probably, "why do you wear glasses?"
"I thought that would be obvious."
"There's technology to make it better, you don't have to use them."
"I just use them to read."
"Still, they have to be uncomfortable, right?"
"I just–"
"Besides, a jedi wearing glasses, it's not what people expect."
"I don't–"
"There must be another reason to wear them."
"Ther–"
"Perhaps because you look cute in them?"
"Enough!", when the exclamation left Obi-wan's lips, Anakin curved his lips in a smirk, repressing his laughter.
"You're easy", he stood up and took the plates to the sink, washing them fast and easily. Years being a slave had marked him somehow, after all, "predictable, I would say."
"I find you…", Obi-wan drawled the sentence, exaggerating it with a hand gesture, "irritating."
"I thought we already had that conversation", Obi-wan chose not to answer, sheltering again in his datapad. He would have to stop doing that eventually, "I'm going to go swimming", announced Anakin then.
"Swimming?" Obi-wan raised his gaze, genuinely interested.
"If you had gone out, you would have noticed a nearby lake."
"A lake?", Obi-wan preferred to ignore the lecture, "you do know there could be dangerous autochthon fauna, right?"
"I'll take my chances", he winked at Obi-wan and, slowly, leaned over him, "worried?"
"Not at all", defying, Obi-wan brought his face closer, caressing Anakin's nose with his own, "if something haves you for breakfast the Council can't possibly blame me."
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t had been decided that official meetings would be done in the principal building of the Shani clan, a huge white marble one that was used as a house for the leader family and as an official institution. The room that was chosen was an oval one and it was completely white but for the table that was on its center, which was made of dark wood. The walls of the room were glass panels that allowed them to see the Shani city, since the building was in its center.
"Come on in, take a seat", Batcha was the one that received them on the entrance, putting his hand casually on Anakin's back to guide him to the table. Obi-wan saw him tense to the touch, relaxing only when the hand had left his body, "I hope you've felt comfortable with your accommodations so far."
"Yes, thank you very much", Obi-wan offered a grateful nod to both men, not being able to avoid a mean sparkle towards Batcha, "now, if we get to important business…"
"A direct man!" exclaimed Gambola, "I like it!"
The next few hours (eternal, in everybody's opinion) were spent between heated discussions and Obi-wan's calmed voice trying to find some sense in the chaos of petitions both sides made. Both of them claimed they wanted peace, but none of them seemed willing to give anything. Obi-wan tried to get into their heads that peace meant sacrifices, but both Gambola and Batcha hold a pair of treaties made for the benefit of only one of them.
Anakin only talked when he thought it necessary, but the truth was Obi-wan's diplomatic abilities were not only amazing, but enough to calm down the whole assembly. That was why the younger jedi used his time watching people and reactions, looking for the real hidden intentions. His analysis turned out to be clear and concurring with what had been his first impression. Of course, he would have to talk to Obi-wan about it, but this time, he would have to agree.
Obi-wan, of course, was also a subject of study during the meeting. Calmed, cold and inaccessible. The perfect diplomat, so different from what the jedi really was. During the meeting he was insulted both subtle and openly and, still, he had never shown a trace of fury, which he himself had done. The only sign of the typical Obi-wan he had seen had been that obsession of his of rubbing his eyes.
"Then that's it", it was Batcha who said those words, closing the discussion. The final decision had been that it would be they, the jedi, who would make a treaty that was fair for both sides and that would be then discussed and signed. Obi-wan had thought it more prudent, rather than allowing a partial judge do it, "we will walk you out", once again, Batcha's hand found a place on Anakin's back, getting the same reaction from the boy, "if you like", continued the man, lowering his voice so only Anakin could hear him, "it would be a pleasure to have you for dinner one of these days", he put his light eyes on Anakin, pressing his palm slightly against his back.
"Of course", Anakin's voice was a tense whisper, "Obi-wan and I will be pleased to come, both of us."
"Sure… both of you."
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"You've been very quiet", said Obi-wan once they had been left alone. They had preferred to walk to what they called home, enjoying the soft wind that the planet had. Anakin arched an eyebrow as an answer to Obi-wan's comment, "I'm just stating a fact, given how much you like to cut my speech."
"Actually, I just do that because I know it annoys you", he gave him a perfect smile, "although I've been watching."
"Watching?"
"Everybody, you know, reactions and expressions, looking for motivations", after all, it was what they were trained to do.
"So?", Obi-wan waited a few seconds before asking, expecting Anakin to explain without a petition.
"You want my opinion?", the tone wasn't surprised but malicious.
"I'm not going to beg for it", Anakin arched an eyebrow again, looking to the front. He stayed in silence. Obi-wan, rubbing his eyes, gave an exasperated sigh, "I can admit I would find it useful."
"Mmmm… enough… Gambola seems a nice person, I don't think its going to be too hard to make him accept some terms. I don't like Batcha."
"He seems to like you", Anakin groaned softly. Obi-wan wondered what was the reason for Anakin to tense so much to Batcha's touch, after all, his sexual reputation was well known all around the Temple. There was something, something Anakin was hiding, and Obi-wan wasn't sure if he wanted to find out, "if you play your cards good it might be an advantage for us."
"Wow, prostituting myself for the order, there's something I haven't done yet."
"I wasn't talking about that."
"What, then?", Anakin didn't yell, but his tone was cutting, hard.
"I'm just saying you should be nice to him, not that you should take him to your bed… unless you want to, of course, but that is something I don't need to know."
"Don't tell me what I should do."
"It was just–"
"A suggestion? Yes, of course, they always are, but subtlety doesn't cover an order, Obi-wan", Anakin crossed his arms on his chest, an annoyed expression on his face.
You're acting like a spoiled kid", said Obi-wan after a while, pointing an accusing finger at Anakin.
"But that's what I am, or at least what everybody says I am, what had made you thought different?", he stopped his steps, facing the older man with defy on his eyes. Obi-wan stopped in front of him, not scared by the aggressive tone.
"You're overreacting", Anakin groaned slightly, taking his eyes from Obi-wan.
"I think I'm going to take a walk" he whispered seconds later, "if I follow you we'll end up screaming at each other, again."
"Yes, of course"
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It turned out that writing a treaty that was fair for both parts was more complicated than it seemed. Obi-wan had been hitting his head for days, looking for terms that made everyone agree, including Anakin, who always had something to say against his opinions. Anakin was more a warrior than a politician, so his opinions had some dictatorial tendencies compared to Obi-wan's, who had been immersed in the concept of democracy at a very short age. Surprisingly enough, Anakin seemed interested in what Obi-wan had to say, he was willing to learn why his thoughts could be unfair as long as he got a rational explanation. The thing was that in the time they had shared they had discussed more politics than Obi-wan remembered to have discussed ever.
In other matters, such as everyday life, they had established some sort of routine. Obi-wan cooked every time he could and, even if he didn't admit it out loud, he was pleased that Anakin liked it so much. Anakin usually used his time in what he called field investigation, which consisted in walking around both cities asking random questions at random people. He always came home with new opinions based on his little investigations and his own judgement (pretty good ones in any case, Obi-wan had noticed he had talent for observation). The rest of the time he was either swimming or arguing with Obi-wan. Said discussions used to end up with screaming or insulting, since Anakin was emotional and he was capable of getting the worse out of Obi-wan, who reacted to him as he had never before. The truth was their arguing tended to go from politics to personal themes and sexual insinuations, which made it all more complicated.
Anakin exhaled sex. The worst part of it was that he knew it and he used it. All Obi-wan could do was resist to his completely unsubtle moves and bite his lips every time he felt the urgency of corresponding. The physical attraction between them was palpable, but entering sexual fields would mean entering into a power game that Obi-wan knew he would regret. In any case, Anakin was a distraction, especially for his obsession of invading his personal space and walking around the house in pants. Just pants.
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That afternoon Anakin had decided to go out to swim in the lake that was close to the house and that he liked so much. He supposed his obsession with water had formed because of so many years breathing sand in Tatooine, but the truth was that everything that implied water – sea, lagoon or rain – calmed him. And he needed calm, since his relationship with Obi-wan was so tense.
He went under the water one more time and then got out of the lake, sitting in the shore so he could dry off before heading to the house (the last time he had appeared wet inside the house Obi- wan almost had an attack because he was making a mess).
"I see you found my favorite place on the whole planet", Anakin turned his head around to the soft voice, seeing Thania Heri standing behind him, "it's beautiful, don't you think?"
"Yes, it is… Thania, right?", Anakin half smiled, taking his hand to the back of his neck shyly; he was awful with names.
"Yes, Thania", she paused for a few seconds before continuing, insecure, "how is the treaty going?"
"Umm… I'm not supposed to talk to you about it", Thania lowered her head slightly, "but I guess I can say it's almost ready, although we've been having some difficulties."
"At least it's something… the meeting of the other day was the most productive thing that has been done in years in this place", she smiled, "your friend has a way with words", she said finally.
"Yes, he does, but he is not my friend."
"But I tho–"
"We are just partners in this mission, but the truth is we don't have a great relationship", Anakin extended his explanation when the girl sited by his side with a questioning look.
"I would have said you two liked it each other", said Thania, her eyes looking forward, "what is that you don't like about him? He seems nice and easygoing."
"And uptight and boring and… and… he drives me nuts. It seems like I never do anything right and he never talks about anything that matters and, did I say uptight? And–", Anakin stopped his speech when he heard Thania's soft laugh, "what?", the question went out tenser than he had wanted it to be.
"Have you ever noticed how kids annoy those they love the most? You know… when they have interest in someone they insult him or throw him a stone", Anakin nodded, looking questioningly at Thania, whose eyes where fixated on the lake, "you just sounded like a kid throwing a stone", Anakin groaned involuntarily, "see?"
"That's not… I don't…" he groaned again, "forget it… what do you think about Batcha?" he asked all of a sudden. "I don't like him, I never did. He looks at me in that way, that look… it's somewhat scary", Thania lowered her head, biting her lip slightly.
"I know what you're talking about… can I ask you something?"
"Sure, anything."
"His son, the one at the meeting, the one that joined us the other day–"
"Jacob."
"You know him?", finished Anakin, trying to remember the name.
"We have spoken a few times, but he is shy. He is nothing like his father, though, and I think he wants peace… he is nice", she finished, smiling a little.
"He looks at you, too", whispered Anakin.
"I know, but not like his father", there was a short silence, until Thania spoke again, "anyway, I should go… I was just coming to invite you two to dinner tomorrow night, since Batcha did the same… it would be a pleasure to have you."
"Of course, we'll love it."
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Obi-wan entered the room that could be called living room distracted, an apple in one hand and the distracted eyes looking forward. He had so many things in mind, terms, problems, changes, discussions and Anakin was taking longer than he used to in the lake. Not that he was worried or anything. Really. He nodded strongly and, suddenly, his foot crashed against something soft, making him trip and sending him against the closest wall, hurting his nose. Ouch.
"What the hell–"
"Watch out, you'll fall", Obi-wan took his gaze to the floor while rubbing his nose, and he saw Anakin, wearing just his pants, lying comfortably.
"Can I ask what are you doing lying on the floor?", Anakin rose to a sitting position, looking amused at Obi-wan, who kept rubbing his nose.
"Meditating?", Obi-wan arched a skeptic eyebrow. Anakin wasn't one to meditate, as a matter of fact, he hadn't seen him even considering the idea, "my back hurts", he said finally.
"And that helps?", asked Obi-wan not lowering his eyebrow, "I thought swimming did"
"Not really, it's just an old scar that hurts from time to time. And lying on the floor helps, not much though", explained Anakin, rubbing his neck slowly; what was good for his back was bad for his neck. Obi-wan took a couple of steps around him, kneeling behind him.
"That's quite a scar", it went through one of the sides of Anakin's back, from the kidney to the beginning of the shoulder blade, "it wasn't a light saber", he put a pair of fingers against the beginning of the scar, noticing how Anakin tensed to the contact, "or a blaster", he caressed the wound slowly, feeling Anakin relax a little, "how did you get it?"
"It was a knife", Anakin closed his eyes and leaned into the soft touch that kept going up and down the scar.
"A knife? How… uncivilized", Anakin half smiled, "primitive, I would say."
"We were in the Outer Rim, my master and I", he leaned a bit more, almost expecting Obi-wan's hand to draw a different pattern than that of his scar, "we went into a fight and he said he would watch my back. The–"
"Lower your head", the thought of resisting to the order didn't cross his mind for a second. He lowered his head and Obi- wan's hand left his scar, caressing his shoulders until it reached the back of his neck, "go on."
"The cut was made from behind", he felt Obi-wan's fingers pressing slightly onto the lower part of his neck. Immediately, a relieving sensation went through his back, lessening the pain the old wound produced, "what did you do?"
"Pressure points, better?", Anakin just nodded, pressing himself against Obi-wan's fingers, "I thought he was watching your back."
"He said it was a lesson, that I should always pay attention to everything."
"Absurd."
"Why?"
"If you can't trust your partner, who can you trust?", Anakin turned his head around, facing Obi-wan and opening his eyes slowly.
"Trust your partner, of course", the voice was a whisper, but Obi-wan didn't need it to be higher to hear it, since their faces were only inches apart. Obi-wan could just lean a little and kiss his mouth; he could hold his neck just by pressing his hand; he could descend the other one through his chest, through his stomach, through his… but he wouldn't do it.
He got up quickly, stepping away from Anakin and avoiding his gaze. Anakin half smiled, whishing Obi-wan hadn't ran away, whishing he would have crossed the line they both wanted to break. But Obi-wan wasn't going to let go, and Anakin wasn't willing to take the first step.
"Did you read the new terms?", said Obi-wan suddenly, leaning on the wall and biting the apple that was still between his hands.
"No, not yet", Anakin sighed and lied again on the floor.
"You should."
"Don't tell me what I have to do."
"Is that your answer to everything?", Anakin rose again, arching a questioning eyebrow, "sometimes you just have to follow orders."
"Yours?", his voice was a whisper, but where there had been calm and sensuality, there was fury now, "do you think that because you're older you have to be the one ordering around?"
"Well, perhaps, after all my rank is higher, Anakin", Anakin groaned slightly, standing up with a fast movement and walking towards Obi-wan.
"I've ignored orders from people more important than you", arrogant, stubborn.
I know", Obi-wan held his look, one of his hands forming a fist, the other one holding the fruit, "you ignore rational orders from people that have done only good things for you."
"The only person that did anything for me in my entire life without asking anything back was Qui-gon. The rest of the world has only humiliated me or made me pay for their favors."
"He made you follow him… he asked for something"
"No, Obi-wan, he let me chose. I followed him because I wanted to, but you were too busy being jealous to notice it", Obi- wan's hand went unconsciously to Anakin's face, but he stopped inches away from his cheek, "go ahead, do it, at least it would be a sign that you're human", they held their gazes for a few seconds, until Obi-wan's hand caressed Anakin's cheek softly.
"I don't have to prove you anything", he kept his hand in the other one's face, half closing his eyes when Anakin leaned into the touch, letting his eyelids fall shut, "let's keep this strictly professional, yes? There is no reason to get to personal themes."
"This has been a personal thing for too much time, Obi-wan", Anakin opened his eyes, holding Obi-wan's hand against his cheek when he tried to move it, "it has been since we shook hands back on Tatooine", it was true and Obi-wan knew it, "besides, strictly professional? Where would be the fun of that?"
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End chapter III.
Only happy when it rains – Garbage
I´m only happy when it rains
I´m only happy when it´s complicated
And though I know you can´t appreciate it
I´m only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
And why it feels so good to feel so sad
I´m only happy when it rains
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
I
´m only happy when it rains
I
feel good when things are going wrong
I only listen to the sad, sad songs
I´m only happy when it rains
I only smile in the dark
My only comfort is the night gone black
I didn´t accidentally tell you that
I´m only happy when it rains
You´ll get the message by the time I´m through
When I complain about me and you
I´m only happy when it rains
Pour your misery down (Pour your misery down)
Pour your misery down on me (Pour your misery down)
Pour your misery down (Pour your misery down)
Pour your misery down on me (Pour your misery down)
Pour your misery down (Pour your misery down)
Pour your misery down on me (Pour your misery down)
Pour your misery down
You can keep me company
As long as you don´t care
I´m only happy when it rains
You wanna hear about my new obsession?
I´m riding high upon a deep depression
I´m only happy when it rains (Pour some misery down on me)
I´m only happy when it rains (Pour some misery down on me)
I´m only happy when it rains (Pour some misery down on me)
I´m only happy when it rains (Pour some misery down on me)
I´m only happy when it rains (Pour some misery down on me).