it's just tomorrow.
after a little nervous breakdown that had me sobbing for about 3 hours, i am sitting here talking to the most unlikely characters about school and all of its atrocity. talking to ben taylor, too. which is weird but oddly comforting.

today went perfectly as far as how i wanted to spend my last day of summer. riley met me for a snowcone and then wanted to run my errands to the bank and gas station with me. then we went to his house for a while until i had to come home and eat dinner. that was the thing that really triggered my breakdown, that it took me approximately 4.5 minutes to eat dinner and that i could have stayed with him longer. he did end up going to bed before 8:00 though. living for the weekend isn't so bad, it makes you appreciate the little things and the time you spend with the people you love a little bit more. and who says i have to only live for the weekend. for once in my schooling career i'd like to take it one day at a time and really enjoy things. my mom says that attitude is worth 90%. which is true. anyone can make any situation dreary. i know now that the summer wasn't a big sunday, and we're all in this together, and tomorrow isn't just my first day of school. it's everyone's. it's in my heart. i have a lot of things inside of me, all of those things contributing to who i am as a person. if you don't have fun, what's the point of doing anything at all.

in order to not drive myself crazy, i will probably try to stay away from writing online. it bothers me for some reason. i can't exactly put my finger on it. i'd write in a journal, but i like to type so much better.

but i know in my heart and in my guts that i will be here, and so will you.

there's something strange about it, but i'm really quite fond of and willing to donate my socks.there's something strange about
sitting here eating penne. i'm as cool as a cucumber. tell josh starks to stop IMing me. what a stoned bastard he is. i'm fairly calm considering that when i wake up in the morning, the first thing that will pop into my head is that it's the last day of summer. then i get to shower and get ready and spend a fun filled day over at the cook's house. oh boy. then riley and i are going to get snowcones, and seeing as though he has an empty wallet i might be treating. but i really wouldn't mind that one single bit. i told him i sent him something, but didn't say what. he told me i am goofy. of course i am. i wonder what the first day of school will be like. i wonder what all my first impressions of all my classes will be and how by the end of the year they'll all have turned out to be wrong. except for maybe AP psychology, which will be round 2 in that class this time as an aide. that will be interesting. i am no julia murray. that's for damn sure. maybe kyle doesn't hate me. i really think she just thinks i don't talk to her because i'm rude. wrong. well, it is time now to hit the showers after i first clean my pasta bowl and sit here for a moment longer and wonder about why exactly ben thinks shea's mom is a milf, because she's young looking and all, but certainly not hot. atleast i wouldn't think so, but what do i know, i'm not a boy. and i'm not ben. shea's mom is nice though. i hope i get into betsy's speech or health class, whichever comes first. i believe i put health for fall semester, she thinks she might've put speech. i hope not. not looking forward to pre-cal, since i'll most likely have ms. wheat although i'm crossing my fingers hoping that i will get mr. beaver or the other lady. if there even is another lady. i could completely just be making that up. and anatomy will be a challenge, but potentially not as big of a challenge as mr. harris. it's really just a crapshoot whether or not the man will like me. "miss evans". whoa boy, atleast it's not mr. v. that man. man. in a way, a weird weird way, i'll kind of miss the old crotchity bastard. he had a lot to say. i'll leave it at that. mr. pool looks intimidating and uh, well, newspaper is my only other class besides government, which i really hope will be breezey. who knows. i suppose we shall see. soon enough, too soon actually. too soon to be walking into anderson on that first day, going to advisory and getting all of those papers and all of those school supplies lists. the day will last forever. but it actually won't. over and out.

i'm SHY, not holier than thou.
being in a room with 5 or 6 other people, and having someone come in and invite everyone else BUT you to a free day at fiesta texas really makes you think you've done something wrong.

check me out, i'm a freethinking fool.
my reasons for abstaining from alcohol until of legal drinking age are not based on the principle of should vs. should not. it is want. it is pure want.

i love you.
when you can't say it because you're at risk of the lack of the reciprocle, you feel like crying because there is no where else for the emotion to go. you know it's real because you can finally feel it. inside. in your guts. to say that you can feel it in your heart is rather misleading because the pounding of the human heart is an indication of lust or attraction, and is about 89% physical. the guts let you know when it counts. when it actually counts.

my guts say yes.

shake, rattle, and roll.
i went to la dentista today. actually, it should be el dentisto because he is a male. forgive my spanglish. i actually got a mean glance from a fellow tourist in hawaii for saying "hurry up-o" to my sister. i live in tejas. i'm allowed. damn yankees. anyways. every time i go to the dentist, he is just a wee bit more plump than he was the last time. he is nice though.

before i got my teeth scraped to death, i babysat the cook kids. well, actually i sat on their couch and watched a wedding story, two personal stories, the end of a baby story, and a dating story. then i ate some salmon that they had in their fridge. michael cook and i have bonded. i let him eat ice cream and cookies when he wants to. but i do make him clean up after himself, which is not something he does very well.

tomorrow i have to go to my stupid senior orientation at anderson and get my parking spot, my locker assignment, and my classes. oh yes, and the picture for my student ID. tonight gedy and leah are coming over to watch lizzie mcguire. amanda decided to throw responsibility to the wind and go for a two day excursion with some st. andrews kids. therefore, she will not be in attendance. i am still wary of seeing her alone, and therefore have not yet given her the orchid i bought for her in hawaii.

time to make pizzas.