Aye Me!
Mood:  chatty
Ah so Yea i'm sitting here in the computer lab bored out of my ever loving mind. Nothing to do... done with classes for the day... very nice lol. But yea I just thought i would update my page since i haven't in a while... Em college isn't as bad as I thought it would be class wise. I now see how i shouldn't have been nervous at all because it did me no good to be nervous. I think everyone was but it all changed... I've met a lot of really really cool people up here, its really fun cuz you don't hafta worry about ppl thinkin you're retarted because they don't know you so if you act retarted it doesn't really matter. But yea its fun i play volleyball, basketball, and i finally learned how to play eucher! i suck at it still but i learned how to play, and thats all that matters lol.. But back to the whole school thing... the only think that I think i really really hate is all of the hw and the short amount of time they give you to do it allll in.. Its a lot of fun lemme tell ya. so i hafta put all of my "social life" (yea right) on hold. hahaha... fun fun lol...
So anyways, my computer is broken so i have to use the ones in the computer lab which are much nicer than mine but still i have to be motivated to actually walk down the hallway and into the computer lab, where its really difficult to concentrate because ppl constantly talk. Oh and college makes me really really really tired.. maybe its because i have yet to manage sleep and being awake... i'm awake a lot more than i am asleep, but i'm tired now so i think i'm going to go and take a quick nap... until next time!!!

I'm Here!
Well guess what. I moved into school today! NKU will never be the same haha... Doubtful but I like to think so. So sense I use this for an escape and no one really reads it.. I just try to keep it updated in case anyone really does read it. Doubtfull though. So anyways I moved in... It was a pain in the ass because it rained... Alll day long.. real fun lemme just tell ya... But i'm really tired.. i'm sure i'll get around to explainin all of these things i said i'd be explainin but i'm sweepy right now... night night...

Ah... Summers End...
So, Let me just tell ya that I'm going to quit trying w/ guys. I don't know anymore. I'm just ready to get out of here. Which I do on August 20!!! whoo hoo. This town is full of self absorbed, selfless, narrowminded assholes. Sorry. Had to get that off of my chest. There were a couple more I could have thrown in. But I thought i would atleast make an entry I'll finish up later on tonight! Holler....! lol

Nothing ever changes... So why try to change them...
Sorry its been sooo long, I was on vacation! It was wonderful let me just tell you lol... But I missed home as scary as that was.. But ya i was on a 2 and a half week vacation in florida... the weather was beautiful... you all know how that goes. But I just thought I would keep my account open hahah.. oh yea... my 18th b-day was yesterday!!!!!!! whoo hoo haha... its really not that big of a deal... but hey haha... welp i'm out

Ahhhyyy me...
So I've not been having the best of summers. Unlike I had anticipated I had planned to be tanned before I went to Florida (which I leave for on Thursday!), didn't happen, this weather has been shitty. Second of all I've been a wreck mentally. About pretty much there is to be a wreck mentally about lol.. School, Home, Guys, and the list goes on. I just can't seem to figure my problems out. :S I worry. But anyways not much else has been goin on. My friends are leaving *wipes a tear*. Jordan and Wesley left for the Army and Air Force on Sunday, Randi is leaving me on wednesday, and Tara left but is coming home so thats a plus. But this town is full of nothing but bad! I so seriously want to get out of here and away from the assholes in this town. But I'm also sad because I will be leaving soooo many of my friends. :( *wipes another tear* But I just thought that I would let ya know how my lifes been goin. So ttyl!

Man... How to explain myself...
So first off hello. Second off, Ryan! I could kill you for making me watch that movie! Third off, my "friends" are some of the most self centered people in the world! So I guess I should explain myself for this rashness....

I'm saying hey b/c its been forever since I've made a new blog... I apologize.

For my second point. Ryan tells me about this movie... "Donnie Darko", yea sounds messed up huh. Well just let yourself think that times like 80 and thats about where this movie rates. Its not so much scary although Ryan would say I was terrified (I was in a couple of spots-and on the way home by the way!) So this movie was seriously the most twisted movie I have ever watched in my entire life, and I've watched some crazy movies... I'll never be able to look at my pet rabbits ever again, let alone feed them in the dark! So to figure out the movie we had to go to a website and read it. That would be how twisted and weird it is. yea... bet I sleep well tonight. But I had fun hahaha... Good talks lol... shew... hopefully your mom doesn't... well we'll just keep that to ourselves hahahah :P

So for my third point and I saved the longest for last. So lets not say friends. Lets say friend. Her name will not be revealed though I don't think that this would be too hard to figure out if you thought about it hard enough. So shes so self centered that she humiliated me, a friend of mine, and herself more that myself and my friend. Then upon doing that she sees no reason to apologize to myself nor my friend. Her "best friends" would be a label for the two of us. So then she is rude to me at the place of HER employment. A quote said to her by my friend "That was the icing on the cake." She didn't respond to that quote. So would you like to hear her apology that she thought was even half way adequate, "Hey, whats goin on? Look I just wanted to say that I was sorry for whatever you're mad at me about. You can take that for what it is..." ..."So what are you doing?" I reply... Then she says, "Oh well you and her can come to my house and swim if you'd like." Yea right... Bet I do. Anyway it just grows and grows. Evidentally my friend, calls her from my cell the other night. She leaves me the following voice message, in a most sarcastic tone, " Hey Betsy, it's me, Cassandra. I guess Randi called me from your phone, and we're playing phone tag. Goodbye.." Click! If I would have seen her that evening I believe I would have hit her. She is so wrapped up in her and her boyfriend if thats what you'd call him. I need not get into ANY of that.. Tooooooo much! Not even close to enough time to explain it all! Sorry I was really mad...

So about the love life which I'm sooo sure you're all sooo ready to read about... But you're going to hear it anyways! So in a few words. There is none. I've almost decided to become a nun, because obviously I'm not worth any guy that gives two shits time to date! So why bother! Or maybe that would just be the Maysville guys. I've given up on them! Totally! It's like they are so consumed with sex that what really matters, in my opinion, in a girl is just thrown out the window and doesn't matter. It's liek the old saying goes... Put out or get out... I just don't see it that way. It's awful that the world has come down to that honestly. I mean very very very few people can have a sucessful relationship these days w/o constant intimacy... or however you spell it!I just give up and I'm sure it is going to get soooo much better once I get to college! (note the extreme sense of sarcasm.) I just give up! Well I'm tired and I'm sure your tired of reading. Talk to ya soon!!!!!!

...But see thats where we're different...
So it's been a while. I'm sorry, been busy. And in trouble so I'll probably be writing a lot here in the next couple of days. So the past few days. Well I got a puppy on June 1st. She was sooooo cute! Randi and I decided that her name should be Xena, because she was supposed to get to a big size. So I take her to the vet, they say shes about 6 weeks. I don't think so but I agree and they give her the shots. So she starts to act completely differently. She begins sleepin allll day long and doesn't play like she used to. Never a good sign... So to make things short, she died Monday morning. :( I was really really really sad.

So for even worse news, I come in at like 1:30 last night. See that wouldn't be so bad if my curfew wasn't 12 and I didn't call mom and dad to let them know where I was. Never good. So World War Three started in our kitchen at dinner, that I cooked and was damn good by the way, anyways, dad gets home and thats when it started... Mom and I start to go at it, then dad interjects and then dad and I are calmly talkin and mom comes back in and goes off again so the three of us start goin at it. Never good, luckily Hannah was not there to witness it. We were basically cussing each other out. So about 10 minutes before this, I have packed my bags to leave this very evening. However, I am pursuaded and its all good. So we end up talking one on one, and we have come to an agreement i guess. Not what I wanted but hey, its my fault I should've called but I didn't. But thats all I have to say about that... haha Forest Gump (one of the greatest movies ever!)

So I leave for Florida here in a couple of weeks... whoo hoo... June 30th to be exact. I am so ready to go to!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!

So my love life is in such confusion that it doesn't even bare discussion or I would talk about it. Liek thats how seriously messed up it is. Never good. So I'll probably write about it when I get it straightened out in the least hahahaha... But for now au revior!!!

Finished!!!!!!
So friday night was graduation! Whoo Hoo! I only about cried once that night (I surprised myself). I don't really even know why I cried but its no big deal. So I have a diploma... wow... After graduation, was project graduation and I have to say that I had a really really good time. What could be much better than hanging out with most of your senior class until way early in the morning. Not a lot lol. But we had fun sprawling out on the floor for fake money lol, of which I have some heller bruises from. People are vicious when it comes to cash. But at the end of the night I would have to say that myself, Kasey and Constance did well for ourselves and our dorm room. We got some cool stuff for it. For free at that! Whoo hoo... Go us!!!

So, saturday night would be a totally different situation. Chad Sexton's graduation party, and what a party it was. I'd say there were about 200+ people out there. Too many for my taste but I had fun. Drank some, chilled, chilled in a canoe, and a barn, and had fun. Thats all that matters. Watched a huge fight break out. Between like 10 people. Scary let me tell ya. But thats about it. Went to bed in the back of mom's car around 5 and woke up at like 8 or so and left to take my dog to the vet... That was an interesting trip let me tell you. Lol.

So some really sad news, Lassie, one of my dogs, got hit by a car on the 28, her birthday and my graduation day. They didn't tell me until Saturday morning. I didn't take it too well, because that is the second dog that I've had since we've moved to our new house that has gotten hit and killed by cars. :( So I'm outside with Lassie's sister Aussie and I notice a spot on the side of one of her legs, so I decide I should take her to the vet and get it checked out. Thus the reason for me going to the vet's office at 8 AM this morning... But she's okay, just a little road burn.

So I'm really confused because guys are the coolest beings on the face of this earth (note the extreme feeling of sarcasm.) I swear they tell you, "I don't want anything right now," but two seconds later they are all up on you again, sayin, " Yea i'll call you tomorrow," geez... ARGHH!!!!!!! I give up, It's late, I'm going to bed, good night!

What a night it was!!
So this is all about prom and the after party at my house. I had an awsome time by the way. (at both, I'll get into that here in a sec.) So my day went as follows:

-10 Am- Woke up (clueless as to why so early)

-10:30 Am- I straightened my hair.

-11:20 Am- The tanning bed called my name!!

-12:00 Pm- Mom and I do my nails which were plain but matched I guess.

-1:00 Pm- Went to Shelly's to get my hair done-which looked really cool by the way!

-2:00 Pm- Set up tents for my after-prom party, yes once my hair was finished I know I know...

-3:00 Pm- Went to the house to begin getting ready.
-3:30 Pm- I zipped up my dress with help.. *blushes* lol

-4:10 Pm- Carter (my date) arrives only to encounter numerous flashes of about 6 different cameras.

-5:00 Pm- Pick up Tara and Drew and we went to eat at the French Quarter to eat with about 50 other people.

-6:45 Pm- We leave the French Quarter after a seemingly constant photo shoot by parents, photographers, and friends.

-7:30 Pm- We get to walk-in in our car ( an Infinity). We walk in whoo hoo, after another photo shoot, we stopped so many times going down the "red carpet" lol. So we get in line for pictures. From then on I swear I sweat off 10lbs, it was sweltering in the gym, but I didn't let that affect my dancing, which was so hm... "wild," I suppose may be the word. So Randi and Chris L. were king and queen (what a shocker!) So Carter and I danced to the last song of my Senior Prom, and we left and went to my house. (all this in a nut shell because I could have rambled forever!)

-11:30 Pm- Carter and I arrived at my house and I recieved a sweet little kiss and he opened my door, helped my out, gave me a hug, and walked me to my door.

-12:30 Pm- My after prom party is in full swing with about 150+ people out there at one point. HEAP! So after 1:00 Am the only people who were stayin were the people who were stayin the night, which was about 40 or so. So the rest of the night only gets better... Except I can't explain on here, Im sorry I will have to keep you in wonderment.

-4:00 Am- Susie, Myself, Jon Martin, Flames (Lee), and Clay all went swimming in my pond, one of the most disgusting things I've ever done- all of this resulting in a shower at 4:30 Am- then I returned for a while.

-5:00 Am- Went to sleep- freezing alone in my 10 person tent. :(

-6:00 Am- Dad comes to take a load to their cars, I included leave and go to the house and slept until 1. A wonderful sleep might I add!!!!!

So that was Saturday and Sunday morning in a really really small nut shell.

I'm really sad right now, today was our last full day of high school. I am scared to death. But I'm going to end this entry because I'm really tired but I'm sick *Coughs* :( 'Till next time!

Ah Graduation... A mere 10 days away...!
So I was having a sleepless night the other night and was inspired to write a poem for some reason(those feelings usually just kind of hit me). So I get up and go to my computer and shut my eyes and let it flow.... So for your pleasure... Here goes...

We walk across the stage,
Our names all being read.
Some are filled with happiness,
Yet some are filled with dread.

Our last moments as a class,
The tears come to my eyes.
Reality is setting in,
I realize I must say good-byes.

The friendships we have made,
Relationships that will last.
Some are decimated,
A moment in the past.

All of us going our own ways,
Too soon for some peoples taste.
Yet there are others,
They do not mind to make haste.

We each begin our own journey,
Into something brand new.
Journey into life,
Something several have not reviewed.

Our future lies within us,
For once we are in the drivers seat.
The fear that lies in myself alone,
Is something I do not want to repeat.

So my class I say to you,
Think about what life has prepared.
A steaming dish, a running car,
A heart that must be repaired.

Upon conclusion of this moment,
We will all embrace.
Look around and see,
See smiles on each persons face.

I fear this end,
Yet I anticipate a beginning.
Where we will be going,
And where we will be ending.

Take these words for what they are,
I'll be seeing you around.
We have reunions,
And hopefully we can all be found.

You mean so much to me,
To each and everyone.
Class of 2004,
Be strong and carry on.

I know its cheesy, but its how I feel. Can you hate me for that... I think not! So I've been depressed here lately, and it's really cliche why. I don't know, like not many people know how truely depressed I like ALWAYS am. Ryan is about the only person I feel like I can talk to who offers some kind of help, or shoulder for that matter, most of my friends are too consumed with themselves. Wonderful, huh?, and I love my friends don't get me wrong its just that their problems are always worse than mine, and I just don't see a point in bothering anyone else with my problems, so I just listen to everyone else's problems. No biggie.
So graduation is a mere 10 days away! How wonderful and yet how scary. I just don't know if I'm ready to leave. Maybe I am, but you have no clue how scared I am. Which is extremely! Maybe I worry too much. I don't know. But I'm really stressed about prom, becuase one my date has magically turned into a douche bag, and won't talk to me... AT ALL! I'm thinking I am going to have to pay for my food, my tickets, my flowers, and probably anything else I have to pay for except his tux! Wonderful huh? I give up, I'm about to cry so I'm going to end this go off! TTYL!!!! MUAH!!!