*¤*
Do you ever think about me
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep
In the middle of the night when
You awake
Are you calling out for me
Do you reminisce
I can’t believe I’m acting like this
I know it’s crazy
How I still can feel your kiss
It’s been six months, eight days
Twelve hours
Since you went away (Yeah)
I miss you so much
And I don’t know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it’s just not the case
It’s been six months, eight days
Twelve hours
Since you went away.
Do you ever ask about me
Do your friends still tell you what
To do
Every time the phone rings
Do you wish it was me callin’ you
Do you still feel the same
Or has time put out the flame
I miss you
Is everything ok
It’s been six months, eight days
Twelve hours
Since you went away (Oh yeah)
I miss you so much
And I don’t know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it’s just not the case
It’s been six months, eight days
Twelve hours since you went away.
It’s hard just passin’
The time
When I can’t seem to get you off
My mind
And where’s the good in goodbye
Tell me why
Tell me why…
It’s been six months, eight days
Twelve hours
Since you went away (Why)
I miss you so much
And I don’t know what to say (What to say)
I should be over you
I should know better
But it’s just not the case (Just not the case)
It’s been six months, eight days
Twelve hours since you went away. (Sing it for me)
***
Justin didn’t go to the studio a week and a half later. He couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed. He had been so good at hiding his heartbreak to his friends and forgot that when he was home he could let it out. He had it so bottled up, away from the rest of the world, that it was like he lived a double life, but today he couldn’t bare the pain. The day before, Britney had called five times in two hours, and each time he hadn’t picked up. Hearing her voice would kill him. She was one of the reasons she didn’t want to be with him. He couldn’t believe he was acting this way. It wasn’t like he had never been dumped before. But somehow she was different. Casey didn’t view him as a product. Casey was genuine.
She had just left him. He really did miss her. It had only been close to ten days, at least. It felt like forever. How could he have let her leave?
He laid in bed all day. He didn’t shower, he didn’t eat, he didn’t change clothes. The only time he did get up was to go to the bathroom. What a boring day. Although, it was far from boring for him. He remembered everything. He went back in time and lived in their memories. The special ones from when they first started dating. The memories like having a mud fight when the gardeners at his house were redoing his backyard and it started pouring so they all went home.
*::Flashback::*
Justin came home at two that day because he was helping his mom with stuff at her house. He called Casey at the coffee shop and told her to come over. She agreed and when she got there she ran inside because of the rain.
“Justin!” She laughed when she was finally in. “It is pouring!”
“Yeah, come here. I gotta show you something.” He called from the living room. He was looking out of the sliding glass door.
Casey kicked off her flip flops, dropped her purse, and took her denim jacket off. She padded through the living room to where he was standing. “Hi.”
“Hey.” He said sweetly. He pushed open the slider. A few rain drops flew in the house, and he pushed her out onto the patio.
“Justin!” She screeched. He followed after her and grabbed her hand. He pulled her farther out into the yard. “Justin! Oh my god! It’s raining!”
“Good observation, Scooby!”
“Justin, oh my god! I’m wearing white!” She had a white peasant shirt, and a pink skirt on. The rain didn’t help the situation.
“That’s ok.” He said confidently. He pulled her closer to where the un planted flowers were. He bent down a little bit, and looked up at her. He smiled. She had her hands covering her head and a classic look on her face. He put his hand to the soggy dirt and scooped up a handful. She looked away from him and into the neighbor’s yard. He pulled her into a hug, and she embraced him willingly also. He grinned evilly, and brought his muddy hand up. He put it on her back, and as soon as she felt his hand come up she whipped around.
“Justin!” She screamed at the top of her lungs. She raced over to the mud and scooped up a handful. She threw it right at his stomach. He picked up more mud and threw it at her. They continued to throw mud until they were completely covered from head to toe. Justin ran to her and gently tackled her to the ground….
*::End flashback::*
Justin shut his eyes tightly and tried to push the memories away. This couldn’t be normal. He pondered his own existence that day. He had never done that before. He had always just known that he was made for the world and made to be in the business he was in. He never ever thought of what his life would be if he wasn’t in *NSYNC. Maybe he’d still be with Casey. Or maybe he never would have met her. He wondered if there wasn’t so much excess stress in that relationship that maybe they’d be together at that very moment. He hoped that she was just going to the store. That she would come back. He waited all night for her to walk back in the door, but his lover never came. She really was gone. And there was nothing he could do about it. That’s what he hated most.
What was she doing at that moment? Did she miss him as much as he missed her? Does she go back in the memories and cry? Does she imagine his arm around her?
He had so many questions. He needed answers.
*¤*
“Hey, J, we called you yesterday, but you didn’t pick up.” JC said when Justin walked in the studio the next day.
“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.”
“Where were you?”
“Home.”
“Yeah, Justin, we all figured that.” Chris cut in.
“I was sick.” He said quickly. “Let’s get this over with.”
“All right.” Lance said, agreeing with Justin to maybe stop all of the questions and doubts.
“Justin, Britney kept calling all of us, and when you didn’t show up she started freaking out. Next time you just gotta call, man.” JC said.
“Shut up!” Justin shouted and brought his hands to his face.
“Ok, let’s sing.”
***
“God.” Casey grumbled and slammed the phone in the back room down.
“Whoa there, Tiger.”
“Shut up, Mike.” Casey snarled. “I hate you.”
“Whoa!” He said, actually offended, a bit. “I’ll leave you alone.”
“No, Mike, I’m sorry. Its just I can’t get a hold of JC. I’ve tried his house, and his cell! No one is picking up! Damn it!”
“Casey!” Belle called.
“What?”
“Shut up.”
“Fine.” She called back. “Please leave.” She said to Mike.
“With pleasure. I don’t want to hear about your sweet gay lover!” He said quickly before he hurried out of the room.
“He’s not gay.” She muttered. She picked up the phone, and dialed his cell phone number. She hadn’t called that phone in the past four minutes. She waited until someone did finally pick up. She had left a message before, so she wasn’t going to do that again. The truth was, she was having an unbelievably bad day and just hearing his voice cheered her up.
“Hello?”
“Shit!” she said, and hung up. Her hands flew to her face and she covered her eyes. She started breathing heavily. She had to sit down. “Shit.” She said again. With her head in her hands, and her elbows on her knees, her breathing pattern started increasing steadily.
“Casey? Honey? Are you all right?” Belle asked worriedly.
“Uh…. Uh huh… Yeah. Yes. I’m… I’m fi…fine.”
“Case? Are you sure?” Belle asked again. “You’re hyperventilating. What happened?”
“Justin… Justin answered.”
“Ba!” Belle shrieked. “No!”
“Yes.” Casey said seriously.
“Call JC!”
“I just did!” She yelled back at Belle.
“Try again!” She yelled again.
“You!”
“I will then.” Belle picked up the phone and dialed his phone number, since she knew it from before. It had been committed to memory, and it wasn’t going to leave. She heard a ring and a half before someone answered.
“Hello?”
“Who is this?”
“Justin?” He asked questionably. “Who is this?”
“Um… this isn’t your phone.”
“I know.”
“Then why did you pick it up?”
Casey had calmed way down, and was now sitting back in the chair with her arms above her head. Belle had a look of determination on her face as she sat on the edge of the desk with the phone in her hand. Casey sat there, in her chair, tapping her foot that was in a black platform sandal. The sandal was a brown, wooden-looking base, and then the very back of the base curved forward to make the heel just behind the middle of her foot. Then one black strap came across her toes, it was thinner in the middle, and thicker on the edges. She smoothed her black halter dress again, and then ran her perfectly painted pink fingers through her hair. Belle tapped her toes on the top of her bright pink flip flops. She had on a denim lace-up skirt on.. Above that, she had a tightly fitted light pink striped halter top on. The halter ended about two inches about her navel and she was far from self conscious, but every once and a while, she’d pull it down a bit.
“Because, um, JC’s in doing his part for this song….”
“Is he almost finished?” Belle snapped.
“He should be done soon.” He said, still remaining calm and even pleasant. “I can have him call you back when he’s done.”
“Thanks, um… call this number.” She told him her cell phone number for Casey’s sake. She hung up and they waited for JC to call.
***
When the phone rang in Justin’s pocket he felt his heart flutter. Maybe he had been hallucinating but he thought he heard Casey’s voice the first time someone called JC’s phone. He couldn’t make sense of why it would be Casey, but it sounded just like her. He could tell just by one word. Maybe it’s Casey . He thought hopefully as he pulled it out of his pocket. “Hello?”
“Justin, honey, JC called me yesterday at home and left a message and I just got home from Lucy’s so I just got his message. Are you all right?” His mother said over excitedly.
“I’m fine, Mom. It’s just that…Hold on.” he looked around the room. He stood up and walked outside of the sound booth. “Its just that Casey broke up with me last week and its just hitting hard right now.”
“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. I’m sure everything will end up fine, though.” She said reassuringly.
“I’m not sure, Mom. I mean, I really loved her.” He said sadly. “And I don’t think I’ll ever get her back. That scares me. I mean, Mom, this is going to sound really weird, but um… JC’s phone rang so I picked it up because he was doing his part and so I say hello and then I hear Casey’s voice. I swear it was her. I just don’t get why she’d call JC.”
“Honey, I don’t think it was Casey then. She’s never even met the guys. You’ve kept her a secret a long time, and there is no way possible that the guys know her.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right, and Justin, Britney’s called me probably about three times today… already. I think you need to give that girl a chance.”
“Mom…” He warned.
“I’ll leave you be. I just wanted to make sure everything was a-ok. I guess so. I’ll talk to you later darling. Love you.”
“Love you too. Bye.”
Justin and his mom hung up and he walked back into the room where everyone was. JC was finished now, and the message had been passed along. JC wasn’t on the phone yet though.
“Oh, hey Jus. Joey’s in right now, so you’re next.” JC said to him. Justin nodded at his statement and found a chair. He plopped down in the black, leather, swivel chair and faced the sound both with Joey in it. He waved to him, and Joey returned the wave and a big, happy grin. “Ok, so anyways, um… where was I?”
“This girl.” Chris prompted.
“Oh, oh right… She’s the greatest person ever. I can’t wait for you guys to meet her.” He said gleefully. “So that’s who I have to call. I’ll be right back. It’ll just be a second, she probably is just having a bad day.” The whole time, Justin made it look like he was off in space but he was listening to everything JC said. He found himself shaking his head, trying to get the idea of Casey out of his head. What if…?
***
Casey continued to tap her foot impatiently as she waited for the phone on the desk to ring. All she wanted was to hear his voice. Was that so much to ask for? Belle had left the phone and Casey to go make a citrus drink for her to possible calm her down and to help the customers. Close to ten minutes after belle hung up with Justin, the phone rang.
“Hello?” Casey asked hopefully into the receiver.
“Hey hun. Its me.”
“Oh, hi.” She sighed.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, knowing something was wrong by the tone of her voice. “And don’t say nothing.”
Casey smiled a bit, then answered. “Nothing, I’m just having a bad day.” She said softly.
“That’s what I thought.”
She smiled slightly again. “Hey Jace?” (He said “Hmm?”) “Um… Did Justin or something pick up your phone?”
“Um… hold on. I’m not sure. Let me ask.” He pulled away from his ear and turned to Justin. “Hey J? Did you answer my phone earlier?”
“Uh, yeah, sorry.”
“Oh, no problem. I was just asking. No big deal.” He smiled. “Yeah, he did.” JC and Casey continued to talk (JC never ever said her name) and twenty minutes later hung up.
Jace?” Lance asked.
“What?”
“Who was that?”
“Oh, that was Casey.” He smiled widely. Justin was in doing his part. It was taking longer than any of them had expected. He had already had to start ever three times. He just wasn’t feeling the music. That was so unusual. “She’s so cute.”
“So she was just having a bad day?” Chris clarified.
“Yeah.”
*¤*
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