*¤*
*¤*
Another week passed, and JC had been pretty tied up in the studio on account of Justin. First of all, he wasn’t feeling any of the music, even the songs he wrote, and second, just in case JC was dating Casey, the studio time kept him from her. Everyone knew that JC was always really eager to get out of the studio lately because of Casey. Anyone would be able to tell that all five of them were getting sick of being stuck in a sound booth for all hours of the day and night. JC never complained, though.
While Chris was finishing up, JC turned to the rest of them and asked, “You guys want to meet Casey?”
That’s when it hit Justin hard. JC finally clarified that he was, indeed, dating Casey. There are plenty of other Casey’s out there, Justin, He thought, Relax.
“Uh, yeah.” Joey said. “Yeah, you talk about her all the time, sometimes we’d like to meet the person you talk about 24/7.”
“All right, we’ll all go out to dinner one night.” JC suggested. “Sound good?”
“Yeah, sure.” Lance said.
“What about you, J? You in?”
“Uh…” He started. He had no idea what he wanted. Did he want to see her happy with his best friend, or not even see her at all so he could pretend she was in his state? “Um… sure. That’s cool.”
“Great, we’ll do it this weekend.”
“Uh… All right….” Justin said, unsure of whether he made the right decision or not.
***
When JC told Casey that she was going to meet the guys she went ballistic. JC had invited her over to maybe watch movies. When Casey was sitting comfortable on the couch, JC sprung that news on her.
“So Case, we’re going to go out to dinner with the guys this weekend.”
“Oh my god. No.” She whispered and brought her hand to her forehead.
“No?”
“No, its not that I don’t want to go. Its just, what if they hate me?”
“They won’t hate you. They can’t wait to meet you.”
“So you’ve been telling them about me?”
“Yeah, I talk about you, but its not like its bad-”
“All of them? All of them know about me?”
“Yeah…. Anyways, will you please meet them?”
She waited a long three minutes that seemed like years to JC, then nodded slowly, and smiled at his pout. “Yes. I’ll go.”
“Good.” He smiled, and stood up from the couch.
*¤*
The night of the dinner with the guys, Casey was very nervous. She didn’t really want to see Justin. Let alone, see him because the rest of them were meeting her as JC’s girlfriend. Not Justin’s. Casey had to go to the beanery to finish up the paperwork because it had to be sent in, but was only there for an hour and a half. She went to the Limited to get something to wear, and came home with many more bags than expected, and four hours later. She went straight to her apartment and tried on many of the outfits she had just bought. She chose a pair of black pants and a plum tank top. The top was cut so that the very top of the shirt flowed down onto her chest. She slipped into the pair of black shoes that she had worn previously. The pair of shoes that’s strap was thicker on the outside, and thinner on the inside that went just across her toes.
JC decided he would go over to her house. She waited impatiently for him to arrive. While she was waiting, she had managed to re-make her bed and organize her closet. It was a nervous habit to clean. She sat down at the kitchen table, with a glass of water in hand, and her feet started to tap. Why am I doing this? She asked herself. Why did I even get involved with him?
With who? Another voice countered.
JC, duh. I knew better. I knew better than to date Justin’s best friend. I love Justin, really, I do, but….
But what?
I’m not even sure. I guess I just love Justin.
So you don’t love JC?
Ahh! I’m not sure. I don’t know. All I know right now is that this was really dumb of me and I shouldn’t have gotten involved… with anyone. I would’ve been better off just being alone for the rest of my life.
When she was off in space, practically having a conversation with herself, she didn’t even hear JC walk in. She only knew he was there because she felt him put his hand on her shoulder. She jumped at his touch and spun around.
“Oh my gosh! You scared me!”
“I’m sorry” he smiled. “Are you ready?”
“Uh huh.” She nodded.
***
JC and Casey pulled into the parking lot and saw Lance and his girlfriend, Grace, get out of their car. The four of them walked into the restaurant together and were seated. “Lance, this is Casey. Casey, this is Lance, and that’s Grace.” JC did the introductions.
“Hi” Grace smiled.
“Hi.” Casey was almost at her breaking point. She had very rambunctious butterflies in her stomach, a splitting headache and to top that off, she was shaking. She started shaking on the way to the restaurant and JC asked her what was wrong, but she told him she was just cold, so he turned the heat up. That did nothing but make her warmer in temperature.
“Hey.” Lance said, being his naturally friendly self.
“Are you sure you’re ok, Case? You’re still shaking.” JC whispered to her once they were seated. She nodded quickly. He put his hand on her knee and whispered, “If you need anything, just let me know.” She nodded again and pushed his hand off of her knee. “Do you want my jacket?”
“No.” She finally said. “I’m fine. Really.”
“All right.”
Shortly after that, Joey and Chris came with their girlfriends, Kelly and Paige. That meant only one more and possibly a girl, even though Casey expected him to come with Britney. She knew it would kind of be a reality check and it would hurt a little bit because then it would prove to Casey that the Media was right; that they truly were dating.
“You must be Casey” Joey said with a big smile.
“Yup. I take it you’ve all heard about me?” She plastered a fake smile on her face that was probably believable.
“Tons.” Chris said. “I’m Chris, and this is Paige.”
“Hi, oh my gosh! We love getting new girls to hang out with! It’s the greatest thing ever!” She reached for Kelly’s arm and pulled her closer. “This is Kelly.”
“Um, why don’t we just all sit down?” JC suggested.
“Oh, right.” Paige smiled. “So, anyways, this is Kelly, and that’s our precious Gracie, but I’m sure you two have already met. Ok, so, like, we always do stuff together. We’re all, like, best friends. Which kind of works out because the guys are all, like, best friends! Isn’t that perfect? So, you’ll just add to the group! We’ll have an even number now. That means that we can, like, do even number things. Oh! Guys, isn’t this just perfect!?”
“Wow” Casey said, clearly blown away by how ditzy the girl was. “Um, yeah. That’s great.” She smiled. “An even number though? Wouldn’t I make it an odd one? Because of Britney? Right? Justin and Britney are dating?”
“Oh” Grace said. “Um, actually, they broke up. It isn’t announced to the public yet because I think Britney’s parents and team of people or whatever still want to think that they’re going to get back together. Although, we don’t think that they will.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, where is Justin?” Paige asked. “He’s coming right?”
“He said he would when I talked to him.”
“Oh good! At least he’ll talk to Lance!” Paige breathed a sigh of relief. “See, guys, its just the weirdest thing! I tried calling him today… oh wait, maybe yesterday, oh I don’t know. I called him and he didn’t pick up so I left a message and I don’t even remember why I called him. Never mind.”
“All right, Page.” Chris said putting his hand on her back. “Let’s just take a little break. Maybe Casey wants to talk.”
“Oh, no. I’m all right.”
“I don’t think she’s feeling very well.” JC said. “She’s shaking and she said she had a headache.”
“I have Advil.” Paige piped up again. “Do you want some?”
“Um, no thanks. I’m fine, really.”
“Well, if you want some just ask. I always carry Advil around with me because you never know when a headache will pop up on you. Its just so convenient.”
“Uh huh.” She smiled and nodded.
“Sorry I’m late guys.” Justin said. Casey hadn’t even noticed him come to their table.
“Justin!” Paige squealed and jumped out of her seat. “You’re here!”
“Hey, Paige.”
Casey stood up when everyone else did. Justin walked around the table and said hi to everyone, gave hugs to the girls, then came to Casey. “Justin, this is Casey.” JC said.
“Yeah, hi.” He said, looking down.
“Hi.” She whispered.
Justin looked up from the floor and took a step closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her. “Welcome to the family.” She didn’t even resist, she brought her arms around him and he tightened his hold on her. “You look great.” He whispered.
The let go and she took her seat next to JC. Paige instantly struck up a conversation with Justin that got the whole table talking. Then, all of a sudden, Casey interrupted. “Justin, I heard that you’re not dating Britney anymore… how come?”
“Well, uh… things just weren’t working out.”
“That’s really too bad.” She said more confidently. “Everyone really wanted you two together, well actually, not really, but a lot of people thought you two were just the perfect couple.”
“Um, yeah.” He said uncomfortably.
“I’m so sorry. That must be really hard losing someone you really love.” She said. She felt like she could finally say what she wanted and she would be fine. Although, half of her felt horrible for doing this. “Especially when they’re sitting right here… with your best friend.” Casey’s hand flew up to her mouth and her eyes got very big. Did she really say that out loud?
Obviously she did. Justin’s jaw had dropped and he had a look of complete and total shock on his face.
“What?” JC asked, not believing what he heard.
“Nothing.” Casey said quickly. “Nothing. I have no idea what I’m talking about.”
Everyone else at the table didn’t know what to think. All of them had no words. JC, for one, though, wanted answers. Justin was speechless. Casey was so embarrassed because it was her secret and she blew it. “Casey, you know what you were talking about. You know exactly what you meant! If you didn’t, then you wouldn’t have said it. What did you mean? Justin? Do you know?”
Casey brought her hands over her face and looked down at the floor. Justin looked back and forth from Casey and JC. “Yeah, I know what she’s talking about.” He said miserably.
“Then what? What is she talking about? What did she mean?” He asked frantically.
“Oh my God.” Casey sighed.
“Can we just talk about this later… while we’re not in a public place?” Justin asked.
“Damn it, Justin! Tell me!”
“JC!” Justin exploded, which caused several other diners to turn and look their way. “We’ll talk about this later.” He said, lowering his voice.
“Excuse me, but can I please have your autograph?” A girl with strawberry blonde hair asked.
“Yeah, sure.” Joey said enthusiastically. Thank goodness for her because she just broke something huge up.
*¤*
“Jace, can you please just take me home?” Casey asked quietly, sitting in the passenger seat in his car. JC was speeding, and driving recklessly. Casey knew he was upset, and he had every right to be mad. She was hiding something from him, something that she had mentioned then said nothing else about it, lied to him when she said she had no idea what she was saying, and lastly, she was being selfish.
“No.”
“Ok.” She said, then sat quietly for a few more seconds. “Then, honey, please just slow down.”
“Damn it!” He yelled and hit the steering wheel with his fist.
“What?” She snapped loudly.
“The light!” He shouted. “It turned red!”
“Calm down!” She barked.
While they waited at the red light that seemed to take forever, Casey looked out the window, into the mirror and at the car behind them. The car that had her ex-lover behind the wheel. JC looked at Casey, but then back up at the light. Once the light turned, he took off again, but he was more careful. “Case?”
“What?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh” She said softly. “Its ok. Its my fault. I ruined dinner tonight.”
JC turned up the driveway to his house and still, Justin followed. JC jumped right out of the car and straight into the house. Justin slowly pulled himself from the car and walked in the same way as JC did. First, though, he opened Casey’s door. When JC had gotten out of the car she sighed and put her face in her hands. Just as she was about to push open the door, Justin pulled it open. He reached for her hand, and she smiled. Instead he grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the car.
“You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut, could you? You just had to say something, didn’t you?”
“Ow, Justin. Sorry!” She whispered loudly. “Justin, really, I didn’t mean to. I was just amazed to find out that you and Britney weren’t finally dating for real since you two spent every waking hour together as it was….”
“Justin!” JC called from the door.
“Coming!” Justin dropped Casey’s arm and breezed past her into the house.
When they all were inside Casey sat in the oversized black leather chair across from JC and Justin in the living room. The large room was very dimly lit and cold- not temperature cold, but the mood of the room was just hurt and cold. Probably like JC was feeling. Casey hugged her knees to her chest and listened for one of them to start talking. She couldn’t believe that she had really messed up. JC looked at Casey, and his heart told him to just let it go, but he just wanted to know. Things were getting out of hand and he knew he had to calm down.
“Will someone please just tell me what’s going on?” JC pleaded. “Casey?”
Casey looked up at his face. “Jace, sweetie, um this is a little bit difficult to explain to you.” She sighed. “But I’ll try. Um… what I meant at dinner was that Justin and I…” she paused. “Um… we, uh, we dated.”
“You what?!”
“That’s right! We dated!” Justin said, standing up, throwing his arms up in the air.
Casey put her feet on the floor and her hands over her face. “JC, I’m so sorry.” She said faintly. “I’ve ruined everything.” A few tears rolled down her face, but neither one of them could see them because of her hands.
JC sat in silence for a few minutes as Casey continued to cry. “So, Justin” he finally said, “You’re the guy who made my girlfriend cry? You’re the one who she loved, but couldn’t seem to find the courage to tell you that you weren’t the one? You’re the guy who gave her bruises” He said, as he walked to Casey and started to rub her back. “Like this. You’re the one who hurt her the most.”
Casey looked up at JC in shock. Justin said nothing. “Are you mad at me?”
“Not at all.” He smiled slightly. “I’m surprised and confused, but not mad. Are you mad at me?”
“No.” Casey said simply and hugged JC. “I really am sorry.”
“Don’t be, baby. You didn’t do anything. Everything will be ok.” He assured her.
“God!” Justin exploded. “Casey always has to get what she wants, doesn’t she?” He said getting in her face. “She can’t stand to have people mad at her, so she’ll just say whatever the other person wants to hear so they won’t be mad at her anymore.”
“Justin, that’s enough.” JC warned. “Don’t. Just stop.”
“Why? So Casey can have her happy little world be all happy and shit? So this little whore can live happily ever after?”
“Justin!” JC said harshly. “Shut up!”
“No! She chose you over me! She chose you.” He said and fell onto the couch and paused in his little speech. He stood up again and started again. “She picked you when I wanted to finally go public. You had to enter her life and make her see what a real boyfriend is. You were the one who made her finally see that I was wrong… that I was a horrible excuse for a man. You are the one who is there for her now. You’re the one who she goes to when she’s scared or lonely. She goes to you, JC. My best friend! My best friend took my life away. My best friend stole my reason for living.”
“Your reason for living?” Casey asked out loud. She only meant to ask it in her head, but instead it came out.
“Yes, Casey. I really did love you.” Justin said honestly, wiping a tear or two from his cheeks. “And it killed me when I found out that you were the one who made JC so happy. It absolutely positively killed me. You know why? It killed me because you were what made me so happy. You were what made me get up in the morning. You were what made my life worth living.”
“Justin, I loved you, too. But things got too heavy. Things got scary.” She said as tears ran down her face. “I don’t do scary very well.”
All three of them stood there in silence for a few moments.
“And for a long time, Justin?” Casey said, with an inkling of hope in her voice. “For a long time… you were my existence, too.” She took a few steps closer to him and put her small hand on his shoulder. JC watched in awe as the to of them interacted for real. He really could see the love that the had shared. It was like it was back, and part of him was afraid that Casey would go back to him. He was fearful for her because he didn’t know if Justin would mistreat her again. “But sometimes, Justin, sometimes love dies. Sometimes love gets scared just like people. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be. Maybe things just go away.”
“Not things like we had, Casey. What we had was for true. It was real. Casey, we… what we had was heaven.”
“Yeah, Justin. Had. What we had.” She said, and walked back toward JC. “I got scared. And I don’t like being scared, but most of all, I don’t like being afraid of the person I love. I don’t like being frightened by the person I love because then it’s like it isn’t love anymore. It’s like I have to be someone I’m not because something might happen to make that person angry and make me even more afraid. It’s a very terrifying feeling when you know that someone you love is willing to hurt you to make you maybe feel their love… or so they say.”
“So this is it? You’re going to be with JC? You’re gonna let him make you happy?”
Casey looked up at JC and nodded. “Yeah, J. I am.”
“Answer this.” He begged. “Do you love him?
“Not like I loved you.”
“And do you love her?”
“I think so.” He squeezed her hand tighter.
“She’s a special girl.” Justin said sincerely. “She does a lot to your brain. She makes you think of things differently. I’m not saying that you think of things normally or whatever, but she’ll make you see things in your own way. It’s really cool.” He smiled to some extent. “Jace, I only ask one thing.”
“What is it?”
“Don’t treat her like I did. If I can’t be the one she loves and ends up with, I wouldn’t want it to be anyone but you. You’re a great guy and we’re both lucky to have you in our lives. Thanks for teaching me everything. Thanks for showing me what feelings are again. For a while I just disregarded everything you ever taught me about humans and their feelings. I guess you’re kinda like Casey in that way. She thinks like regular people. That’s why I think I loved her so much. She was sort of on a different level. She actually didn’t stress about pleasing a ton of people. She did what she wanted and didn’t worry about the rest of the world. She’s sincere and genuine.” He smiled for real that time. “you know what else? She loves you more than she says. I can see it in her eyes.”
Casey looked down at the floor as a smile danced across her face.
“I’m sorry, CC. I was lucky to have you in my life.”
“Me, too, J. I was lucky to have you in my life, too.” Casey smiled. “I’ll always love you, you know that, right?” She asked, and he nodded. “There will always be a special place for you in my heart and if you ever need anything just call.”
“The door’s always open, Casey. If you need anything just call.”
“Thank you.” she replied.
“Come here, you.” He pulled her into a bear hug. “I love you.”
“Me too.”
*¤*
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