Morning came rapidly. Almost too fast. I was tired and groggy. I felt like vomiting so I ran to the bathroom and kneleed before the toilet preparing myself. It didn't come, and I felt worse. I looked in the mirror to find my tired reflection looking back at me. I washed my face, and dried it. My back was sore and I figured that it was from yesterday.
I stepped out of the room to find Belle layed out on the couch watching cartoons. I sat next to her and covered myself with the blanket that lay on the ground.
Belle looked over at me, "Eeeewwww, you look terrible." She laughed and continued looking at me.
I smiled at her," Yeah, well I don't feel any better either."
"You want some tylenol or something?"
"Nah, I can manage without it."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah," I said getting up."I'm just going to prepare myself a cup of coffee. Want one?"
"Yeah, please."
I went to the coffee machine to prepare the coffee. Meanwhile I went throught the fridge to see what I could have for breakfast.
"Did I tell you yet?" Belle asked from the couch.
"Tell me what?"
"I went to your apartment yesterday and I checked you answering machine.... there were a lot of calls from Nick."
I looked over at her with a blank expression on my face.
"I brought the tape they're recorded on just in case you wanted to hear them."
"No, I don't have time. I'm going to go out with Oscar tonight."
"Sophie he wanted to know if you were mad at him. That you hadn't returned his calls at all, and that he didn't know where you were at. He also went to your house and didn't find you there. He left some daisies with your neighbor they're right there on the table."
I looked over at the table and saw the beautiful flowers laying there with a card on top of them.
"Did you give him a reason?" Belle asked.
"Coffee's ready," I said avoiding her. I grabbed the card from the table and walked back to my room.
I closed the door behind me locking it so I wouldn't be bothered. I sat down on the bed and opened the letter. I began reading it outloud to myself: "Hey angel, you haven't returned any of my calls and I'm really worried. Are you ok? I hope your feeling ok. I went to the hospital to talk to Alexis and guess what? She's getting better. She'll be out in a couple of days. She's worried about you also. I'm sending you these flowers because I thought you might need them to cheer you up. I love you and I miss you. I hope everything is ok between us. Well gots to go. Love, Nick."
I threw the letter on the ground and stared at it. Memories flowed through my head as whispers of his voice ran through my ears. I remembered his sweet voice and laugh. The way he used to make me feel inside everyday.... I missed that too.
I picked up the letter and placed it in a drawer. I wanted to forget what I had just read. Nick was a matter of the past annd my future lay with Oscar. Like it had always been. I would forget about Nick and the pain he had caused me. The phone beside me ran breaking the silence.
I picked it up, "Hello?"
"What are you doing beautiful?" Oscar asked from the other end.
"Not much, you?"
"Wondering why you didn't wake up next to me this morning."
I laughed at his comment and he laughed too.
"Have you had breakfast?" he asked.
"No, not really."
"You have to remember the baby has to eat too."
"I know, I was just a bit preocupied cleaning," I lied.
"Tell you what, I'll pick you up right now and we can go have breakfast, the three of us."
"That sounds good, we accept your offering," I said laughing.
"Ok, I'll pick you up in a few minutes beautiful. Bye"
"Buh-bye," I said hanging up the phone.
*******
I continued to see Oscar for 2 weeks. Something inside me felt weird though. I tried to convince myself that it was just my missing Nick, and that I would get over soon. But it continued day after day especially when I would kiss Oscar. I felt something besides the baby growing more and more inside me everyday.
I also had my monthly appointments with the doctor to check on the baby. Everything was fine with the baby. On my next meeting with the doctor I would find out the sex of the baby. It was really exciting and Belle and Oscar were really helping me throught it.
I hadn't heard from Alexis or Nick. I figured he bought another apartment and they moved in together. Alexis had tried to talk to Belle, but Belle had sided with me ignoring Alexis.
I have to confess that the only way for me to ever forget Nick was not to be associated with him. When the doctor ran some tests on me he found out that the baby was Nick's and not Oscar's. I swore by everything that Nick would never know that was his baby and that Oscar would think it was his.
Sure, it made me look like the evil one, but I was hurt by Nick. He had hurt me terribly, because my love for him was so great. I promised myself that I would take this secret with me to the grave. In Oscar's eyes it would be his baby. I wouldn't tell Belle or anyone. Only I would know.
So, it continued for a month. I continued to forget about Nick, even though he had left messages for a few weeks on my answering machine. Flowers were sent to my apartment by him. Belle would pick them up and keep them at our home.
One night after coming home with Oscar. I noticed that I didn't feel the same about things. I wanted to end it with him, and maybe live on my on. That night I looked at his sparkling honey eyes and found that I no longer loved him. Maybe I never had loved him. At least that's what it felt like. Now he was only a friend to me.
He kissed my neck and told me he loved me. Then he moved up and kissed my lips softly. I felt like pushing him away and laughing at his words for some strange reason. I kept quiet while he held me in his arms kissing me.
"Oscar?"
"Yeah," he answered in a whisper.
I thought deeply about what I was about to tell him. However I changed my mind, "No, nothing."
He continued kissing me, while I thought about everything. Hoping he would have to leave soon, and I would be left alone with my thoughts. Oscar's cell phone rang and I was thankful to whoever had called him, because Oscar had to go.
He kissed me goodbye but his kiss was worth nothing to me. I felt nothing from it, and it only made me think about things more. I stood there blank. I walked to the front door without waving goodbye to him.
I went inside and headed straight to my room. I needed to talk to Nick. I needed to tell him the truth he needed to know the child was his. I picked up the phone and dialed his number.
It rang a couple of times before he answered it, "Hello?"
I froze. My mind blanked out and I stayed quiet.
"Hello?" Nick stayed quiet a while and waited for a response. I kept my mouth shut and listened to his voice.
I hung up the phone and layed back onto the bed. What was I thinking! I smacked my head and sighed. I missed him terribly, at this moment I would forgive anything. I loved him so much and now it was too late. I couldn't win him back no matter what I did.
