February 1999
It was 6 in the morning when Jessica shot out of the bed she shared with Nick in the hotel room. She covered her mouth as she ran quickly to the bathroom. She made it just in time, and she threw up in the toilet. She felt a pair of hands hold her hair back, and she threw up once again. Jessica collapsed on the cold bathroom floor and stared at Nick.
"Are you ok Jess?"he asked.
"I am now. I don't know what it was,"Jessica said, confused.
Nick placed a hand against her sweaty forehead,"You're not warm."
Jessica shrugged and got up and brushed her teeth. When she was done she said,"Come on, lets go back to bed. Since you're up and I'm up...you wanna mess around for a little while?"
"I'm sorry Jess, I wish, but I've gotta be out by 6:45 anyway. So I gotta shower, then go to the interview and photoshoot, and do promotional stuff for the album. We only have a few more months until it's released.
"Ok," Jessica sighed,"It's like I never see you anymore. I mean when was the last time we made love? At least a month ago. You're always either busy or too tired with touring and photoshoots and interviews and promotional stuff."
"Jessica, this is my job. You knew that when you got involved with me. Let's not confuse things,"Nick snapped.
"You don't have to snap at me!"Jessica cried, her eyes welling up with tears.
Nick closed his eyes briefly. Jessica had become more emotional lately, and it was starting to get on his nerves,"Listen Jess, I'm sorry I snapped at you, I didn't mean to. It's just that there's all this hype about our new album and we've just be really busy." He pulled his girlfriend in for a hug.
"I know,"Jessica said pulling away and wiping her eyes."I'm going back to bed."
"Come on, don't be like this. I said I was sorry, what else do you want?" Nick said, exasperated.
Jessica's eyes narrowed,"Nothing! I probably won't be up when you leave so bye."
"Jess please don't be mad,"Nick pleaded. "I don't want you mad at me."
"I'm not mad. Good bye Nick,"Jessica said, her tone was icy. She climbed into bed and rolled to her side that wasn't facing him.
"Fine. Bye,"Nick said and went into the bathroom.
Fifteen minutes later Nick was out of the bathroom, wearing a towel. He sat down at the edge of the bed and watched his girlfriend. He didn't know what was going on lately with her. He'd always been busy and it never bothered her. Now suddenly, she flips out about it. Sure, they had a lot more going on in their schedules then usual, and that was because of the new album. He leaned down and kissed her lips softly. He felt her kiss him back. She pulled him down on top of her, deepening the kiss.
"Please Nick, real quick,"she begged, between kisses.
"It's not a good idea,"he replied, his hand traveling up her shirt, feeling her breasts.
"You won't be late,"she said, taking off the towel.
"Yes I will,"Nick said, taking off her shirt, kissing her already hard nipples. He glanced at the clock. 6:25...he had to get dressed."Jess, it's almost 6:30, I gotta get dressed. I need to be on time for once in my life. We'll pick up where we left off when I get back."
She sighed,"Ok."
Later that day...
"Leigh can you come to my room?" Jessica asked softly into the phone.
"Jessica, what's wrong??" Leighanne asked, alarmed.
"I might be pregnant."
"Oh my god! I'll be over in a minute!"
"Thanks, bye."
"Bye sweetie."
Jessica hung up the phone and waited the 5 minutes for Leighanne to come. When she showed up, she pulled her friend into a hug.
"Jess are you ok?" she asked.
"I don't know,"Jessica replied as a tear streamed down her cheek.
"Oh don't cry...it's not for sure yet right?"
"No I took the pregnancy test, but I'm too scared to look at it. I'm 4 days late and I threw up this morning. I haven't told Nick either."
"Oh god, do you want me to look at it?" Leighanne asked. Jessica nodded slowly. Leighanne nodded and went into the bathroom. She came back a minute later with it in her hand. She bit her bottom lip softly, then looked up at Jessica,"It's positive."
Jessica's petite hand flew to her mouth,"NO! I can't be pregnant. I'm not even 19 yet dammit! Nick can't take this! The Backstreet Boys would be ruined if the public found out about this...I can't do this to him! I-"
"Shhh,"Leighanne soothed, hugging Jessica.
Jessica began to sob,"I can't be pregnant. How do I tell him this Leigh? How do I tell him that I can't kill our baby and that I have to have it? What if he can't handle it and abandons me?"
"Just tell him, and if he can't handle it then to hell with him. I'll help you in every way I can, Kristin will help you, the other Backstreet Boys will help you. You won't be alone Jess. We're all here for you."
"No one's gonna want to deal with a knocked up 19 year old,"Jessica said, wiping away her tears.
"We're here for you. No matter what,"Leighanne promised.
"Thanks Leigh,"Jessica said sincerely, giving her a hug.
"Jess, are you here? I'm back. I've got a little time before I've got to go to the arena,"Nick said entering the hotel room.
"I'm here,"Jessica said quietly."I just got back. Leighanne took me to the docter's."
Nick looked at her,"Is it about this morning?"
Jessica nodded then looked down,"I have to talk to you about something. Something serious."
"You're ok aren't you??"Nick questioned, his eyes widening.
"Yeah, I'm not dying or anything. It's just before, you know how I threw up? Well when I went to the doctor's she told me what it was,"Jessica explained studying Nick's curious face.
"And?"
"It turns out we're going to have a baby in 7 months,"Jessica said, quickly.
Nick's eyes widened and the expression of curiousity turned to one of shock."You're pregnant?? As in going to have a baby??"
"No Nick, I'm going to give birth to a watermelon,"Jessica said sarcastically,"YES a baby."
"How could this happen?!" Nick shouted.
"Well you were there, smart guy, you figure it out,"Jessica said.
"But we're not ready to have a kid!"Nick said, looking like he was going to cry.
"I know we're not! But I thought you'd be at least a little happy,"Jessica said.
"Oh yeah Jessica, thrilled. I'm estatic that I'm going to be a fucking 19 year old father!"
"Well excuse me for ruining your life!" Jessica was near tears but she was too angry to cry,"It's all MY fault that we didn't use a condom when we had sex! Everything's always my fault. Listen to me Nick, it takes two people to make a baby. I was one, and guess what?? YOU were the other!"
Nick was silent for a minute. He ran a hand through his dark blond hair,"You're right. I'm sorry Jess, I'm just scared."
"I'm just as scared as you are Nick, but we have to get through this. I'm not aborting the baby. That's not an option. If you want to walk, fine. There's plenty of people who will help me. I'll have the support I need. I don't want to be a burden on your life,"Jessica said, there was a trace of bitterness in her voice.
"I'm not gonna leave you so you can take care of a baby by yourself,"Nick said.
"Ok, but what about the public?"
"I don't know. Maybe if this doesn't get out we'll be ok."
"Yeah, but do you really think it's not gonna get out?"
"Maybe. They don't even know you've been my girlfriend for a while. They just think you're still my good friend."
"Right and if they do find out I'm pregnant and you're the father, your rep along with the BSB's will be completely ruined."
Nick took her hand,"I don't know what to tell you Jess, I really don't."
"I guess we're just gonna have to deal with this,"Jessica said. Nick nodded.
The next month was chaotic. They told everyone about the baby. They were all surprised and a little angry, but were supportive. Everyone was careful not to spill to anyone outside of the group about what was going on. They didn't even tell their own families yet. It was best not to tell anyone. Not their families, not the record company, and not their management until they had to. Everyone planned never to tell the public.
"Jess are you ok? You look stressed out,"Leighanne said.
"I don't know. It's just so much has gone on this last month. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. I don't know if I can deal with this Leigh,"Jessica cried.
"Is everything ok?" Amanda, AJ's girlfriend asked, coming into the room.
Jessica smiled weakly,"Yeah, it's fine. I'm ok." Suddenly, she winced in pain and gripped her lower stomach.
"JESSICA!! What's wrong!" Leighanne screamed.
"It's hurts! It hurts so bad!" Jessica cried, gripping her stomach tighter. The pained expression on her face intensified. A puddle of red liquid, surrounded her.
"Amanda call 911!"Leighanne yelled, rushing over to her fried's side. "NICK!"
"What happened?" Jessica asked, waking up in the hospital with Nick by her side. Nick's face was tearstained.
"You lost the baby,"he whispered.
"I-I lost our baby?"her eyes filled with tears,"I really wanted it Nick. I wanted the baby, I really did."
Nick climbed into bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her thin body.He cried with her. "Me too Jess."
"I'm so sorry Nick,"she said, resting her head on his shoulder.
"It's not your fault. The doctor said it was stress. And there's good news. The doctor said this won't affect you having children in the future."
"I guess this was just God's way of telling us we're not ready to have a baby,"Jessica said.
"Yeah,"Nick said.
"I guess we'll have to be more careful and when we're married and ready, it'll happen,"Jessica said softly. Nick nodded and kissed her head. When they were ready, it would happen.
