Tonight my mother called me. That is not overly unusual. We get along wonderfully when we are not living with each other. She complained that her fourth toe was fat and that no one cared. I laughed for about 3 minutes and I do not think she appreciated the humor in the same way I did.

Mid-way through this choice conversation she informs me the guy who runs Minnesota for Jesse Ventura was arrested for indecent exposure at this workout place downtown or something. Apparently he was showing himself off a little too much. I do not wish to know what this involved. Bleck. But my mother's story continued.

She started to laugh then. I tried to get her to say what she was laughing about but it wouldn't come out for awhile due to laughter. She was finally able to explain that my dad (my mom's husband, shockingly enough) had been to that actual place (in the target center) and there had been a man walking around the men's locker room with a hard on. A hard on. My mother said "HARD ON"...!!! My mouth dropped. She won't allow her children to say "shut up" or "sucks" but she is telling me about some guy with a hard on??!?!?! I couldn't believe it. You really haven't been amused until you hear your mother say, "Your father saw someone in the locker room just walking around with a hard on." She made it sound like it was something he was carrying with him. I still can't believe that. I should record every conversation with my mother from now on.

Oh, by the way...my dad has not returned to the target center.