Unyielding Wish

Chapter 3- Sweet Mirage

by Umi

February 2002

Disclaimer: Eagle, Geo, and all Magic Knight Rayearth characters belong to CLAMP, not me! I'm not makin' any money
outta this!

WARNING: This chapter contains yaoi lime/lemon, which means references to and descriptions of male/male sex! So, if
ya can't stand the stuff, are uncomfortable with such material, or are too young to read such material, please just don't
read this fic!

Note: This fic will contain scenes and spoilers from the entire second season of Magic Knight Rayearth! This fic is based
on the anime storyline, not the manga!! Please read with caution!


        "Calling, from the heaviness of the sighs on the endless nights
        I am in pain from missing you
        I can no longer see anything
        Don't let me go
        Don't leave me...

        Calling in the night
        My emotions make my heart pound
        Night after night
        Love is crying out

        I can hear silent words in my dreams
        Shut out the bitter memories
        I can no longer see anything

        Don't tell me, don't say anything at all
        Falling into the heat of the night
        Ah, it's all just a mirage"
                    -Ishihara Shin'ichi, "Eternal"


This isn't wrong.

"Geo... Let's go to your room."

Jade eyes widened. "Eagle... What..."

"Please."

Geo sighed softly as he led Eagle to his room.

Eagle refused to look at Geo, his eyes glued to the ground as they walked in silence. This isn't wrong... I... I just need to
be with someone tonight... I just need to know that someone cares for me, that someone wants me... I just need to be
held, to be embraced...

I just need to recover from seeing Lantis...

From having all of those torturous memories rushing back...

From hearing that deep, enchanting voice...

From staring into those beautiful eyes that once held love...

For me...

I just need to forget.

The two men entered the darkly lit room. The young commander walked close to Geo, close enough that they could feel
each other's warm breathing, close enough that they could hear each other's heartbeats...

"Geo..." Brown eyes tinged with sorrow gazed into green eyes full of concern.

"Eagle..."

"Geo... Make me yours."

"What? Eagle, I..." Eagle's lips claimed Geo's in an urgent, almost harsh kiss.

The younger man pulled away and whispered, "Please, Geo... I don't want to be alone anymore."

"But... Lantis..."

Lantis... Lantis is gone. I just had to see him once more before I could finally realize that. Things will never be the same
as they were back in Autozam. Even if the feelings still remain... Eagle rested his head on Geo's chest. "Lantis doesn't
matter to me anymore..."

Jade eyes darkened. "You're lying."

"..."

"I saw the way you looked at him. I saw the flicker of hope in you eyes as you thought that he might..."

"No... That's not true. I can't think of him in the same way anymore." Brown eyes narrowed. "We are now enemies."

"Eagle... You can't mean that. I know that you still..."

"Geo, please..." Eagle reached out and traced a hand along Geo's face.

The older man sighed softly.

Strong arms wrapped around Eagle's thin waist. "Are you sure you want this, Eagle?"

A moment of hesitation.

Eagle softly shut his eyes, lost in thought, torn by his conflicting emotions.

I'm not sure of anything anymore....

A tentative nod.

All I know is that I want to forget.

Forget about how I betrayed Lantis, the one I still love... Forget about my duty to conquer this innocent world... Forget
about how Geo may love me, and I might hurt him even more in the end because of this night... Forget about how I can't
love anyone...

Forget about my wish...

Eagle tilted his face up towards the other man. Geo's lips claimed Eagle's own, a tongue slipping in to taste his sweetness.

A tear rolled down Eagle's cheek.

The two men made their way to the bed in the middle of the dark, sparsely decorated room. Eagle laid on his back,
resting his head on the soft pillow. Geo peered down at him, and gently cupped the other man's chin in his hands. "Are
you absolutely sure you want to do this, Eagle? I... I don't want us to do anything that we might regret..."

I... I'm too far gone now.

I don't care about the consequences.

I don't care about anything at all... I don't want to care about anything anymore. I don't want to worry about anything
anymore. I don't want to think about anything anymore.

I just want to feel.

I want to feel... nothing.

Geo...

Break me.

Brown eyes met jade ones.

Two hearts started beating faster.

"Yes, Geo..."

Geo lightly planted hot kisses along Eagle's neck, savoring the soft, sweet flesh. He licked a trail along the younger man's
collarbone, covering every inch of the tanned, sweaty skin with his lips.

Eagle moaned deeply as he tried to remove the other man's clothes. Geo continued to suck on Eagle's sensitive, silky
skin, his hot breath burning the commander with passion. Geo nibbled on Eagle's ear lobe, eliciting a hiss of pleasure
from the younger man.

"Yes..." A sultry whisper escaped soft lips as Eagle felt Geo suck on a nipple. Geo rolled the hard pebble with his
tongue, relishing the moans from the other man. He proceeded to the other nipple, one caressing hand exploring the lines
and curves of Eagle's muscled chest.

Eagle arched into Geo's touches, craving more. "Yes..."

Geo removed his lips from the other man's body and peered down at the beautiful young man beneath him. He captured
Eagle's swollen lips in a rough kiss, thrusting his tongue fervently into the velvet of the other man's mouth. He had always
dreamed of this moment, when he'd become one with Eagle, in heart, in body, in mind... but... he had always pictured it
to be gentler, softer...

Sweeter.

He couldn't understand why he was being so harsh with the man that he loved...

Geo's thoughts were taken from him as Eagle's hips bucked wildly against his, grinding their arousals together enticingly,
maddeningly.

All he could feel was molten desire, carnal lust...

And the smoldering heat of the man writhing underneath him.

The older man's hand traveled lower, massaging smooth thighs and finally resting at the growing bulge in Eagle's pants.
He gasped as Geo began to stroke him feverishly, igniting the fire in his groin. Eagle groaned deeply, shutting his eyes
from the searing pleasure.

Geo finally unfastened Eagle's pants, sliding them down lean hips and freeing the young man's hard arousal.

Eagle hissed softly at the sudden cold air. Brown eyes pleading, he glanced at Geo, silently asking... begging to be
touched more.

"Take me, Geo..."

A grin. Lustful jade eyes sparkled with mischief as Geo flicked his tongue across the wet tip of Eagle's member.

"A.. Ah!!"

Geo ran his hand up and down Eagle's hard length, firmly massaging it. He began pumping it faster and harder.

Eagle spread his knees wider in anticipation, his fingers tightening their hold in Geo's hair as his panting grew louder and
more desperate with each of the other man's burning touches. Geo was driving him insane with need, with his damn
teasing...

A hot tongue licked the sides of Eagle's cock. Geo took the head of the young man's throbbing erection in his hot mouth.
He began to suck on it forcefully, taking in more and more until he had engulfed Eagle's entire member.

"Geo!!" Shaking, Eagle shut his eyes tightly. He tried to thrust into that blissful, searing heat, but Geo pinned his hips
down on the bed.

Geo sucked on the other man's cock harder, increasing his pace as Eagle's groans became louder and louder.

Arching his back, Eagle moaned throatily as he drowned in wave after wave of pleasure. He gripped the bed sheets
tightly, the burning need between his legs become more and more unbearable.

This is wrong.

But...

It feels so good.

Throwing his head back, Eagle screamed as he climaxed.

****

Warmth.

I feel it.

All around me.

Soft brown eyes opened. Eagle gasped softly.

He was lying on Geo's bare, muscled chest. Geo's strong arms were wrapped tightly around Eagle's waist protectively. A
damp bed sheet was pulled over their two naked bodies.

Trapped in the other man's embrace, Eagle sighed.

It feels so... warm... almost like all that is cold, all that is dark, in the world doesn't exist if he's with me... It feels so...
peaceful... almost like if I stay here in his arms, I wouldn't have to worry about anything, because I know that he'll always
be by my side, that he'll always protect me, that he'll always love me...

That I'll never be alone...

A tear began to form in beautiful brown eyes.

But... It can never be.

Even as much as a part of me wants to just stay here in his arms, in the arms of a man who I...

I...

Images from the distant past flashed in Eagle's mind.

Strong arms pinning him to a cold bed. Hot lips on his neck, on his chest. A hand tangling in his hair. A tongue slipping
into his mouth hungrily. Lean fingers wrapping around his hard arousal.

His own soft moans of pleasure as he was thrust into, again and again...

Icy blue eyes consumed with a lustful fire gazing at him...

Brown eyes widened.

What have I done?

No... I shouldn't have allowed this to happen. I shouldn't have allowed myself to be so hurt by Lantis that I needed some
support, some comfort...

That I needed something...

I shouldn't have allowed myself to be so weak.

Not in front of Geo... Not in front of anyone...

Not even in front of myself.

I can't be weak.

I can't miss Lantis. I can't question my mission to invade his country and steal the Pillar system. I can't feel guilty about
hurting him, about betraying him...

I can't have these lingering feelings for him... I can't still be in love with him anymore.

And Geo...

I can't do this to him. I can't keep giving him mixed signals, leading him on to think that I want to be with him one moment
and being cold to him the next. I can't keep letting him think that there's a chance that we can be together, because I'm
only hurting him in the end...

I can't keep using him like this...

I can't have these growing, uncertain feelings for him... I can't fall in love with him.

I have to be strong. I have to be distant, aloof to others. I can't let anyone get close to me. I can't let anyone in my heart.

Even as much as I want to... as I need to... right now.

Because... it'll only cause them more pain if I do.

That's all I'm good for.

Hurting others.

I don't want to hurt the ones I love anymore... I don't want to bring them down with me. Because... The closer I get to
the ones I love, to Lantis, to Geo, to Zazu...

The more it's going to hurt them when my wish comes true.

When my wish comes true, and I die like a warrior.

No matter what, I know that I'm going to die alone.

Eagle suddenly brought a hand to his mouth as harsh coughs escaped his dry, scratchy throat. No, not again! Not now! I
hope I don't wake him...

A slight ruffling in the sheets. Geo stirred in his sleep, but didn't wake up, not having heard Eagle.

A soft sigh of relief.

I... I have to go. I can't stay here... with him.

Eagle slowly slipped out from under the covers. He dressed himself quietly, hoping not to wake the other man. Pausing
for a moment, he watched the sleeping form of his friend. Geo was lying on his stomach, one muscular arm draped
around his pillow. He was breathing steadily, and Eagle heard faint snoring.

He smiled softly.

Eagle leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss on the other man's cheek.

I wish you could just wake up and think that nothing happened here tonight... that it was all a dream...

But, I can't erase the past.

Even as much as I want to.

All we have is the future...

At least... you... have a future, Geo...

Don't let me ruin it.

"Goodbye, Geo."

With that, Eagle walked out of the room and shut the door.

~To be continued...~

Author's Note: Hi everyone! I'm so, so sorry that it took me so long to post this chapter! I hope that it was worth the
wait! Someday I might edit and make a revised version of this chapter, but for now, I will try to finish the next chapters
soon! They'll definitely be coming faster than this one did! Thanks to all of you sweet people who gave this fic nice
reviews!! ^.^