Silent Hearts

by Umi

December 2000

Disclaimer: Matt, Tai, and all Digimon characters belong to Toei, not me! I'm not making any money out of this!

WARNING: This contains slight shounen-ai hints, which means just a l'il hinting of male/male love! So, if ya can't stand the stuff, please just don't read this fic!

Note: This is a "What if?" story set after Myotisemon's death. However, instead of the Digidestined going back to the Digiworld to save both worlds, there is no Digiworld in the sky. So, everything is peaceful. Maybe too peaceful...


"Angels will shoot arrows of hope and light at the loved ones of those they have been sent to protect, and then a miracle will happen." [1]
****

"Wait, are you sure about this?!" Gabumon wailed.

"What if the prophecy is all wrong?" Agumon asked.

"You guys want a miracle ta happen or not?" Tai replied.

"Yeah, miracles require a little faith." Matt added.

"Scared, Tai?" Matt smirked at him.

"No, not at all. How 'bout you Matt?" Tai gave him a smug smile.

" 'Course not. Piece of cake." Matt took Tai's hand in his own. "But maybe I'll just hang on to you ta make sure ya don't chicken out or anything."

"Yeah, right. I'll do the same for you buddy." Tai answered. [2]

Suddenly, both kids were struck with arrows of light. The arrows pierced their bodies, making them glow. I feel so hot, Matt thought, like I'm gonna explode or something... He felt his insides burn, and then the world went black... 
****

"No!!" Matt yelled. He opened his eyes, glancing at his bed. "Oh, it was only a dream. But why... why am I so hot?" Matt looked down at his sweaty body. "Man, that was some vivid dream. I swear I could feel the heat..."

Matt glanced at the bedside clock. Man, it's only 2 AM, Matt thought. I can't believe I've had this dream again, for the fourth time now... I think I'm gonna take a walk.

Matt snuck out of his apartment and wandered the streets. Why do I keep having that dream? he wondered. We defeated Myotisemon, for sure! And we saved the world too! Everything's been ok for the last week. All of us kids have been at home with our families. We're actually able to live normal lives now. And Tai and I are ok from being hit by those arrows... right??

As Matt was about to cross the street, he spotted a familiar dark head of hair. Tai? What's he doing here, in the middle of the night?? Matt walked over to Tai.

"Hey man, what's up?" Matt asked.

"Say, it's you Matt. Um, nothing much. What 'bout you?"

"Oh, nothing really. Say, what'cha doin' out so late?"

"Me? Well, I just thought that I'd... buy Kari a present! Ya know, a surprise! And I decided to go now, so she won't notice me!"

"Right, Tai. Like any toy store is gonna be open out this late." Matt grinned.

"Fine. So, I'm not buying her a gift. I just got bored, that's all. Besides, what are you doing out so late?"

"Me? Um... I guess I just couldn't sleep."

"Oh."

"Ya wanna walk with me then?"

"Um, sure Matt."

Both boys walked together silently in the even more silent night. Man, Matt thought, I wish I could just tell Tai about the dream. I mean, he would understand, right? He also got hit by those arrows, so maybe he's a little scared too? No, of course he wouldn't be. He's Mr. Hot-shot-leader-boy. He probably doesn't get scared about anything...

"Uh, Matt? I was just wondering... did you happen to have this... weird dream?"

"Eh?"

"Well, the last few nights, I've been having the same dream... It replays when we were fighting Myotisemon, but the ending's changed."

"How?"

"Well, y'know how we were shot by Angemon and Angewomon's arrows? Well, instead of the calm feeling I got when we were hit from them a week ago, it felt... painful..."

"And then it all blacked out..."

"Yeah! So, you've been having them too Matt?"

"The same one. I wonder why? Do you think that it means something?"

"Maybe..." Tai gazed up at the light of the moon. "Or maybe not. It could just be the full moon's weird magic or somethin'!" He turned back to Matt and smiled.

"Yeah, maybe you're right."

"Let's go back home Matt. I think if I stay out any later, I'll just collapse from exhaustion!"

"Ok." Matt glanced at the moon. He muttered under his breath, "I hope that's all it is..."
****

Tai picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey Tai. It's me, Matt."

"Hey Matt! So, what's up?"

"Well, my dad's apartment is getting some repairs done, and we have to stay somewhere else. So, I was wondering if..."

"Sure, you could stay with us! Let me just ask about it. I'll be right back!"

Matt sighed deeply. I can't believe we're gonna have to move out for awhile. Such bad timing... Great, now I have to have all of those "pleasant dreams" in Tai's apartment. Man, what luck...

"Hey Matt! It's all right, you guys can stay with us! But, why aren't you guys rooming with your bro?"

"Oh, I just think that that would be a little too awkward, with my parents and all..."

"Oh yeah. Ok, well, I guess we're roomies now!"

"Yeah. See ya later Tai."

"Bye!"
****

"Hey Matt! Hi Mr. Ishida! Come in! Make yourselves at home! Mr. Ishida, we have set up a cot for you out in the living room, and Matt, you can stay in my room."

"Thank you very much." Matt's father replied.

"Come on Matt!"

Matt silently followed the other boy and dropped his sleeping bag on the floor. "Hey there Kari." Matt said.

"Hi Matt!" She smiled. "You don't snore or anything, right?"

He mustered a smile. "Nope. I'll be as quiet as a mouse." Yeah I will, that is, unless I start screaming in the middle of the night from those dreams...

Tai noticed Matt's pensive behavior. "Hey Matt, can I talk to you a little bit? Let's go outside or something."

"Um, sure."

"See ya!" Kari smiled.
****

"Matt, I think we need to talk to Gennai about this."

"What?"

"You know, about our dreams." Tai continued softly. "If we both keep having the same dreams repeatedly, there must be something going on."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But, how? Only Izzy has access to Gennai through his computer, and I don't really want to tell him about all this just yet."

"Well, let's just ask Izzy if we could speak to him privately. Izzy's smart, he won't bug us too much if we say we don't want him to hear our conversation."

"All right. Let's go see Izzy then."

"Matt?"

"Yeah Tai."

"Are you... um... never mind." Tai looked up. "Hey, there's his apartment! Let's go talk to Izzy!"

"'K."

As Matt went ahead to the door, Tai sighed. He thought, Matt, are you as scared as I am?
****

"All right. I will contact Gennai." Izzy punched in some buttons. "Hi there Gennai. Matt and Tai would like to speak to you." Izzy promptly left his room.

"Well hello there young ones. How goes the peaceful life?" Gennai asked.

"Well, things are not really all that peaceful, at least, not for us." Tai answered. "You see, Matt and I have been having these really, really vivid dreams about us being shot by Angemon and Angewomon's arrows of light. But, instead of our Digimon Digivolving, Matt and I felt really hot, and we blacked out."

"What? Hmmm... Let me see what I can find about this. It'll just be a few minutes." Gennai began his research. "What?! Tai, Matt, I'm afraid I have some very bad news..."

"Well, what is it?" 

"I'm sorry, but, the two of you are... you guys are... dying."

"Wh... what?? What did you say!?" Tai's eyes widened with shock.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why, but it seems like those arrows are slowly absorbing your life force from the inside."

"But, but..." Matt frantically searched for words. "Why?! If we were dy... dying, why would it happen now, after we destroyed Myotisemon and everything?! Why?!"

"I'm sorry, but I have no answers for you. And, unfortunately, no cure as well." Gennai shook his head sadly.

"Gennai, do you know how much... how much time we have left?" Matt softly asked.

"No, I'm afraid I do not..."
****

Later, Matt and Tai entered Tai's room. Matt sat down on his sleeping bag, pulling his knees to his chest. 

"So," Matt began, "should we tell the others that we're... we're..."

"No." Tai interrupted. He sat down on his bed and stared pensively at the ceiling. "I don't want to make them worry about this until we know it's for sure."

"But how can it not be for sure?! Gennai told us so himself! When has he ever been wrong?!"

"I... I don't know, Matt. Still..."

"Tai, Gennai didn't know how much time we have left! We have to tell the others! If we don't tell them now, we might never get the chance!!" Matt glared at Tai.

Tai looked down to face Matt. "I know, Matt!! I KNOW!!!!" 

Matt winced at the intensity of Tai's sudden outburst. "Tai..."

Tai turned away from Matt. "I... I'm sorry, Matt. I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I guess I just don't want to tell Agumon, Kari, and everyone because I... I..."

Matt stood up and walked over to Tai. "Go on..."

"I'm scared."

Matt stopped in his tracks. He was shocked by Tai's words. 

No one said anything for a few moments. Then Matt sat down on the bed beside Tai. He wrapped his arms around him in a soft hug. 

Tai's eyes widened in surprise. He turned to face Matt, his brown eyes glistening with tears.

"Tai... I'm scared too... But, try not to worry too much, ok? It's going to be all right, as long as we stick together." 

Tai nodded slowly, closing his eyes and resting his head on Matt's shoulder. 

Matt sighed. He thought, if only I could believe what I'm saying...

Tai didn't see Matt's tears fall.
****

Days passed, and Matt and Tai still didn't tell the others about their condition. Instead, they spent hours talking with each other, trying to forget about the one thing that was plaguing their thoughts. 

One day they were sitting in Tai's room, as usual. Matt was nervously pacing back and forth while Tai watched him from his bed. 

"Man, are ya gonna stop that? You're really starting to make me dizzy!" Tai smiled.

"Huh? Oh, sure." Matt stopped and sat down on his sleeping bag. "So... we got ourselves in such a big mess this time, didn't we?" Matt smiled wryly at Tai.

Tai frowned slightly. "Yeah, I guess we did..." 

"Well, I guess this is it. Man, I wouldn't have guessed it'd end this way. Maybe we'd be fried alive by an evil Wargreymon or..."

"What d'ya mean?! This is NOT it Matt!! It can't be!! We can't let it be!!"

"What the hell are ya sayin'?! It's over Tai. Listen to reason for once!! There's nothing else we can do! Even Gennai said so."

"So?! Matt, listen, as long as we believe that we'll make it, we will! We have to!!"

"Ha! I don't think a l'il 'I think I can, I think I can' will get us outta this mess!!"

"Matt, weren't you the one who said that everything was going to be ok if we stick together?!"

"Yeah, but..." Matt lowered his head. "I didn't really believe that... I just wanted to make you feel better..."

"Matt, listen to me." Tai shook the other boy. "Come on, why can't you just trust me?! I am NOT gonna let anything happen to us!! We WILL make it, Matt! If only you can believe that..."

Matt jerked free from Tai. "Man, you and your optimistic attitude! Be realistic Tai!! You have to accept the truth! You can never accept reality!! Not before, and not now!! Don't you see?!" Tears welled up in Matt's crystal blue eyes. "It's over."

"Fine, Matt. Think what you will. But I've always believed that everything happens for a reason, and that there's always something good in any situation! And I'm not gonna stop believing that now... We have to believe in something, Matt."

"Tai... I... I don't know if I can..." Suddenly, Matt felt himself growing hotter. He felt a sharp pain surge his entire body. He glanced quickly at Tai, and noticed that the other boy was feeling the same pain.

"No, not now!!" Tai yelled. "Matt, take my hand!"

Matt took it. They grasped each other's hands for support... It can't end, Matt thought. No, it can't!! Not after all we've been through!! Not with all that we could go through... Then, everything went black, leaving them in total darkness...
****

The howling wind blew incessantly outside the dimly lit room. Inside, the bodies of two boys were sprawled on the floor, holding hands... A red light gleamed from one boy's chest. It glowed intensely, and just as suddenly...

Matt slowly opened his eyes. Where am I? He thought. Am I dead? He sat up and looked down at his body. He pinched himself; he felt pain. What?? Could it be?? He no longer felt the heat, the pain that he had before. I'm alive!! Matt smiled. Thank you...

"Wait, Tai!!" Matt noticed his friend's body, which was a pale, ghastly white. "No, Tai!! Why didn't you make it too?!?!" His eyes flooded with tears. "Tai, can you hear me?!?!?"

"Damn it!!" Matt yelled. "Why do I have to be the only one who was saved?!? He's the one who believed that we could live!! He's the one who deserved to live!! No, Tai!!"

"Tai, wake up!! Tai, we need you!! All of us!! Kari, Agumon, Sora, TK, Joe, Izzy, Mimi, me!! Tai, what if we get sucked back into the DigiWorld?! Who's gonna lead us if you're gone?!? Who's gonna be the one to smile when we're being chased by evil Digimon and tell us everything's gonna be all right?!?! Tai!!"

Matt grabbed Tai and shook him desperately. "Tai!! Can't you hear me?? Wake up!! Wake up!! Tai, don't go!! Don't you know that you're my... my best friend?!?! You are my first true friend, you know that!?! Tai, I..." Matt looked down at Tai's limp, unmoving body. "I love you... We all do!! I don't wanna lose you!! Not now, not ever!!! Do you hear me?? EVER!!!!" 

Matt sobbed. "Tai, you know, you've always been there for me!?! I just... I just couldn't admit it to myself... I've always envied you... I've always admired you... At first, I thought you were this reckless show-off who didn't care about anything but himself. But I was wrong..."

"Tai, you know how many times you've saved me?! From myself?! From my self-pity?! Do you know how many times I felt like we'd never get home from the Digiworld, that I just wanted to give up and... die?! Do you know that all those times, I would just look at you, and I'd know... I'd know that there was hope?!? That there was something worth fighting for!?! Our friends, our families, our Digimon, our world... our friendship!?! Those are what kept me going Tai!! You see!?! You've saved me so many times!!! And now.... it's my turn to save you..."

Tears flowing down his face, Matt grasped his crest in one hand... and Tai's hand in his other. A soft, blue light glowed. It shimmered, like a sparkling sapphire. Please let this work, Matt thought. The light enveloped Matt, and then it enveloped Tai. Matt's eyes widened with shock. He suddenly felt weaker, much weaker, but as he passed out, he smiled. The last thing he saw was the only thing that he had wanted to see...
****

Tai smiled at the others. "Bye!! See you guys in the morning!! Aren't I so glad I can say that!!" The others grinned, trying to wipe the tears from their eyes.

Tai yawned as he walked into his room. He turned on the lights. Man, he thought, I guess the others are glad to have me back. After I told them about how we were dying, they wouldn't stop crying and yapping! He grinned. I'm glad to be back though. But Matt...

Tai sat on his bed. He surveyed his room. Wow, he thought, this is the room where Matt and I confided in each other, hoping that we had nothing to worry about, that we'd live. I'm glad that I had him with me during that time... Tai sobbed softly. But, it's all over now... 

Tai walked over to a familiar, still body. He touched the soft blonde hair... He tried to fight back his tears...

"Hey, what're you trying ta do?? Wake me up or somethin'?? I'm havin' such a good nap!!" rang a familiar voice.

"Ooops, sorry Matt!! I just wanted to tell ya you probably should move over to your sleeping bag so you won't hurt yourself on this floor."

"Thanks man. For everything." Matt grinned.

Tai grinned back. "Hey, no prob. Glad ta have ya back with us!!"

"Ha! Me too! Say, did you talk to Izzy?"

"Yep, he said he spoke with Gennai, and, I quote, 'confirmed that Matt and Tai no longer have any traces of the light from the arrows in their systems.'!"

"Ha!! I guess we're off the hook then!! Well, I'm goin' back to bed. Good night Tai!"

"Good night Matt!"

"Hey, Tai?"

"Yeah?"

"Um... well...how did you make it, anyway??"

"Well," Tai looked at Matt. "I couldn't feel anything. I was trapped in this darkness, this void... Then, I heard your voice... You called out my name, and said something about saving me, and I knew I couldn't let you guys down, so I woke up! I guess your crest gave some of your strength to me!"

"Wow, ya make it sound so simple!" Matt smirked.

"Yep!"

"Y'know Tai, I finally was able to believe in something."

"What?"

"A miracle. Remember the prophecy?? It said that 'angels will shoot arrows of hope and light at the loved ones of those they have been sent to protect, and then a miracle will happen'. Well, I think that the miracle wasn't that our Digimon Digivolved."

"Eh?"

"Yeah. That might have been a part of it, but not all of it." Matt continued. "The real miracle was that we lived. We lived, Tai. It just took me longer to realize that I had to believe in that miracle. You did, didn't you?"

"Yep!"

"Yeah, like I say, miracles require a little faith!"

"Um-hmmm...." Tai's eyes started to close from fatigue.

"One last thing... Tai, how much did you hear me say before, when you were dying??"

"Um... just something about me saving you, and you wanting to save me, and... That's it! Why?"

Matt gave out a sigh of relief. "Oh, nothing. Just wondering! G'night!!"

"G'night!!"

Once Matt's eyes were closed, he fell into a deep sleep. 

Tai walked over to Matt's sleeping bag. He smiled softly, and hugged his friend. 
"I love you too, Matt."

-Owari-

[1] The prophecy from the Digimon Myotisemon saga

[2] This scene is from the same saga

Author's Note: So, what did ya think?? I hope ya liked it! ;) I'm thinking about writing a sequel about Matt and Tai! What d'ya think??