You're Fired?

What's That On Your Head?

by Carl Combover, staff reporter

The newest apprentice to multi-billionaire Donald Trump is not going to become a television star or millionaire. That's because the newest apprentice is a dead squirrel! That's right, the Donald's top man is now a deceased squirrel that has been affixed to his head.

"Hey, I knew the comb-over wasn't working anymore." the Donald said recently. "I figured the next logical step would be this deceased rodent that I found down in the basement over at Trump Tower." Now, we all know how ridiculous this thing looks sitting on top of his dome, but because he's such a high powered individual, no one has the guts to tell him.

"I vanted to scream vhen I first saw it", said former wife Ivanna, "But, he ist sooooo sensitive, I do not have heart to tell him. I do not vant to hurt the Donald's fellings and have him cut me off from my allimony payments."

"You know, I jumped back a few feet and shrieked when I first saw that poor dead little critter on Donald's head." his other former wife, Marla Maples said, "But he's sooooo sensitive, that I decided not to mention how stupid it looks. Besides, I don't want to tick him off and have him cut me off from my allimony payments."

Runner-up "Apprentice", Kwame Jackson said "Man, that honkey is crazy, walking around with that dead rat on his noggin, but I ain't gonna be the one to say nothing. That motherfucker gots a lot of money, plus he gave me a new car, so I don't care what he gots on his head."

So the bottom line is this: if you got enough money, you can wear a dead squirrel on your head and nobody will say a word.

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