I blinked my eyes slowly--once, twice. As I regained consciousness I
came to the astounding conclusion that I was lying in someone's arms.
I rolled over, and suddenly AJ's open eyes took up my entire field of
vision, only inches away. I jumped, but then relaxed as he smiled and his
warm eyes crinkled up at the edges.
"Good morning, sleeping beauty," he said teasingly.
I yawned and sat up. I squinted at him sleepily. "What were you
doing?" I mumbled.
"Watching you sleep...I think you drooled on me." He made a face,
then grinned, and I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Don't you stick your tongue
out at me, woman!" Memories of our first conversation floated through my
head. I flopped backward onto the bed. My eyes drifted shut as I silently
replayed all that had progressed since two days ago.
I felt the bed shake as AJ flopped down next to me and heard him say,
"Hey, you aren't gonna fall back asleep on me, are ya?"
With my eyes still closed, I murmured, "No." I paused. "AJ, why did
you answer my e-mail?"
He pondered the question in silence for a few moments. "You know
what? I'm not quite sure. It was an instinct, I think. I just read it, and
something inside me told me that I had to answer it. My whole future
depended on it. Something in me just clicked."
"I'm so glad you decided to click that reply button," I whispered. I
opened my eyes and turned my head to look at him. The depth in his gaze, the
way he looked at me, gave me a funny feeling in my chest. I didn't know what
it was, as I had never felt it before. I wondered if there was a name for it
and then decided that there couldn't be-it was too ambiguous.
This time AJ was the one to break the connection. He sat up slowly,
groaning. Still rubbing my eyes, I propped myself up on my elbows. He
looked down at himself. I noticed that he was still wearing the same clothes
he had worn the day before.
"Well," he said matter-of-factly. "I feel like shit."
Laughter bubbled up from within me, and it poured from my mouth like
champagne, intoxicating me. It felt so good to simply laugh and laugh and
laugh. At first AJ just stared at me in bewilderment, but after a few
seconds he must have decided it was pointless to try to understand me, for he
began to roar with laughter as well.
Gradually, our laughing fit died down until we were both merely
chuckling. AJ's eyes twinkled mischievously. I would have given anything to
know exactly what he was thinking, because what he did next completely blew
me away.
His smile faded and his eyelids grew heavy as he stared into my eyes.
My breath caught, my pulse quickened-he leaned in towards me. What are we
doing? I asked myself, but refused to answer. I wasn't sure what the answer
would have been, and I didn't quite care. Strangely enough, I cared even
less about its repercussions.
For what seemed like an infinite amount of time, his lips hovered
millimeters from mine. I could feel his warm, moist breath on my mouth, and
could hear his breathing in tempo with my own. I felt a surge of empowerment
rise up within me, and I grew tired of waiting. I closed the gap between us,
and our lips met for the first time.
It began softly, our lips barely touching. His were soft and a bit
salty; but there was a taste hiding beneath that was uniquely his. He was
gentle but firm, and I willingly met his challenge and responded eagerly.
Our mouths opened at nearly the same instant, our tongues teasing each other
before fully tangling, dueling. Everything was smooth and natural, like we
had been kissing each other for our entire lives-though I had never
experienced anything like it before. This kiss was poetry in motion. If I
believed that a single kiss could shatter the world to pieces, this one would
have. He ran his fingers gently through my hair, pulling it back from my
forehead in a soft sweeping motion. The flat of my palm rested against his
cheek, my thumb rubbing back and forth slowly against the stubble I found
there. A small moan emerged from deep inside his throat that made every
muscle in my body tremble.
Taste, texture, sound and pure sensation all blended into a
kaleidoscope of pleasure deep inside me. Bright colors raced along every
nerve ending in my body and burst into the air between us, blending there
with his own, mixing and swirling. We created a new color all our own,
shimmery and sensual and distinctly us; I could see its vibrant tones painted
vividly on the insides of my closed eyelids.
Slowly, inexorably slowly, we pulled apart, breathing heavily. Our
eyes were locked together as if nothing could ever tear them apart. It was
magnetism, it was primal, and it was very, very arousing. My head spun with
the magnitude of it all, but I gave up on being analytical and just let
myself feel.
"Morning breath," I teased him, smiling. When he smiled along with
me, I knew I had made the right decision when I got in the car and drove to
Orlando.
"Does this mean what I think it means?" he asked seriously.
I hesitated. "I'm not sure what you're thinking," I said,
"but...maybe. I can't tell. AJ, surely you can understand how difficult it
would be for me to say it out loud..."
"I know," he jumped in. "I know, and I'm not asking for anything. I
just want you to know that I'll still be around when you want to tell me-tell
me if that kiss meant what I think it might."
"Thank you," I whispered shakily. "It means a lot to me." I leaned
in to kiss his cheek. Instead I went for his earlobe, kissed it, and then
placed a few small kisses underneath his jawbone. He let out a small moan.
"Okay, I think that's enough," I laughed easily. I leaned back and
grasped his hand. My hand lingered in his a moment longer than I'd have
liked it to-it seemed like a forbidden pleasure I shouldn't get used to
having, or I might spoil myself.
I slid off the bed and rummaged through my bag for some clean
clothing. I grabbed a pair of blue jeans and a short sleeve, blue and white
DKNY shirt. I glanced over at AJ.
"You know, I'm scared to say this again because I'm not sure how
you're gonna react after last time-" he said, grinning, as I shot him a dirty
look-"but, well, I still feel like shit."
I laughed. "Well, I'd offer you some clothes, but people might
wonder about you." I turned around and headed to the bathroom to change.
"You can borrow a toothbrush if you want, though."
"Yeah, that'd be great," he replied.
"Don't go snooping through my stuff, now," I said, fooling around andlaughing.
He raised an eyebrow. "You don't trust me?"
"More than I should," I sighed, and closed the bathroom door. I
quickly changed and freshened up. When I came back in the room, AJ was using
some of the water from the melted ice bucket to splash on his face.
"Well, come on," I said impatiently. "Let's check out and get my
car." I picked up the last of my things and AJ got his car keys. We walked
down to the lobby and checked out of the hotel. We got into AJ's car and
drove for ten minutes down the street to Pleasure Island, where I had left my
car last night. AJ pulled his car up next to mine, and I opened the door to
get out. Before I could, though, he quickly placed his hand on my arm to
stop me.
"You're not just going to get out of this car and drive away," he
said to me, his eyes searching for mine. "I want this to be easy for you,
but it's not that easy."
"I understand that not everything is easy, AJ," I told him, fidgeting
in my seat. "I'm willing to put effort into this. That was never the issue."
"Then what is the issue?"
"You know what the issue is. We discussed this last night and I
don't want to get into it again. Where we go from here is up to you." I
moved as if to put my hand on the door handle.
"I already told you where I stand," he said to me gently.
"Becky...you make me feel good." I was facing the car door, but when he said
that, I spun around slowly and smiled at him, my eyes lowered.
"Yeah. I know what you mean." I opened the door of the car but
continued to face him. "You don't have to worry about me, babe. I'll be
fine...and I'm willing to have you there with me during whatever I have to go
through." I slid out of my seat and grabbed my bag, slinging it over my
shoulder. I ducked my head back inside the car where he was sitting and
said, "Call me. You know the number."
With that, I slammed the door shut, walked to my BMW and opened the
door. I glanced back at AJ and saw that he was sitting quietly in the
drivers seat of his car, not moving. That was my last glimpse of him before
I drove quickly back to Tampa.
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