The Happy Little Puppy

Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He was a very happy little puppy with a very smart-looking hat.
One day, the happy little puppy awoke to discover that his hat was gone! He looked, and he looked and he looked, but the happy little puppy couldn’t find his hat anywhere. He cried and cried and cried until he wasn’t a happy little puppy any more, he was a sad little puppy
Along came Mrs. Raccoon and saw the puppy crying. She asked him "What is the matter, little puppy?"
The puppy wiped some of his tears away and answered "I am sad, because I have lost my hat."
"Well you may stop crying, because you may have my hat." Mrs. Raccoon said.
The happy little puppy did stop crying, but only for a moment. "But I want my hat!" he said, and he cried and cried and cried.

Along came Mr. Rabbit and saw the puppy crying. He asked Mrs. Raccoon "What is the matter with the little puppy?"
The puppy wiped some of his tears away as Mrs. Raccoon answered "He is sad, because he has lost his hat."
"Well," Mr. Rabbit said, "you may stop crying, because you may have my hat."
The happy little puppy did stop crying, but only for a moment. "But I want my hat!" he said, and he cried and cried and cried.

Along came Mr. Otter and saw the puppy crying. He asked Mrs. Raccoon and Mr. Rabbit "What is the matter with the little puppy?"
The puppy wiped some of his tears away as Mrs. Raccoon and Mr. Rabbit answered "He is sad, because he has lost his hat."
"Well," Mr. Otter said, "you may stop crying, because you may have my hat."
The happy little puppy did stop crying, but only for a moment. "But I want my hat!" he said, and he cried and cried and cried.

Meanwhile, in the Galactic Empire of Zraarg, the Emperor was trying on his smart new hat. He turned to one of his bodyguards and asked, "How do I look?"
"You look very smart, your Imperial Majesty." The bodyguard announced, then threw himself to the ground and began kowtowing in a totally subordinate manner. The emperor dismissed him with a wave of his hoof and turned his attention back to the full-length mirror before him. The guard was correct, for a change. The emperor did look very smart in his newfound hat. He turned his head this way and that, trying to decide which was his best side. After several seconds of inner turmoil, he decided his best side was every side. At that moment, there was a commotion at the door.
"Ve are ze people's front of Zraarg! All aristocrats are to be executed!" a voice floated down the hall to the emperor. He swatted the stray voice and quickly looked around for it's owner. Striding down the hall toward him was a Zraargian peasant, the torchlight reflecting off the green skin covering his plough-given muscles. The emperor nodded in the peasants direction, and two bodyguards rushed the self-appointed leader of the revolution. As they drew nearer, the muscle-bound peasant simply lifted two of his four arms, so that as the bodyguards tried to stop next to him they were clotheslined and left lying prone on the white marble floor.
The peasant stopped immediately before the emperor, and began yelling, "You are under arrest, on charges of being a naughty man. Hooray for the revolution!"
The emperor looked around, then asked "Where are the rest of your revolutionaries?"
The peasant stopped doing the traditional Zraargian victory dance, and examined his absence of followers. "Ah. I'll just, er…go get them, shall I?"
"No need." The emperor answered, stomping once. A dozen elite Zraargian assassins materialised from all corners of the room. "Dispose of…this"
Leaving the screams of the revolutionary behind, the emperor decided to go for a walk. He stepped out into the bright light of the planet's twin suns, his new hat protecting him from the damaging UV rays, which didn't affect the green skin of the natives. He sauntered to where he had found the hat, and poked around in a nearby bush. He was rewarded with the sight of a purple-black vortex, whirling gently in midair with what appeared to be electricity crackling across it's surface. The emperor smiled. today a very smart-looking hat, tomorrow…the world!!! Or, more correctly, the return to his own world. The emperor longed to return to earth, his home planet. It seemed so long ago that he had fallen through a tear in the time-space continuum, only to be worshipped by the Zraargians, whose empire consumed many galaxies. Even earth was part of the Zraargian Empire, even though the inhabitants didn't know it. He would have returned by now, but it was forbidden for the emperor to travel between planets. The emperor smiled as the tear in the space-time continuum grew slightly. At this rate, it would be ready in a few minutes. He trotted back to his throne room, just to kill time.

"And I put it here, then went to sleep." The not-so-happy little puppy concluded, indicating his hatstand. The others began searching.
"Did you look down the back of the sofa?" Mr. Rabbit asked, twitching his nose slightly, "You'd be amazed what ends up there."
"Yes," agreed Mrs. Raccoon, "And lots of things get lost behind the fridge, too."
"Mphmnmnmnm." Mr. Otter contentedly mumbled from deep within the happy little puppy's refrigerator.
"Yes, I looked everywhere," The happy little puppy explained, "but it's just gone…"
"What's this?" Asked Mr. Rabbit, lifting the hatstand to reveal a tear in the fabric of the space-time continuum.
"Why, it looks like a tear in the fabric of the space-time continuum!" stated Mrs. Raccoon, who was an astrophysicist when she wasn't looking for missing hats.
"Yes, I'd say it's a class 6, or possibly a class 9." The happy little puppy commented. He knew this, because he had a colouring book with all the different types of interstellar anomalies.

"…and so, farewell, unfriendly planet!" the emperor finished his speech to the planet in general finish, and he stepped toward the class 6, or possibly class 9 tear in the fabric of the space-time continuum. As he did, the happy little puppy poked his head through, and recognising his hat, snatched it from the emperor's head. He then pulled his head back through the tear, and it closed up immediately after him.
The emperor held back his head and brayed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

"What did you see?" asked Mrs. Raccoon, taking out her notebook.
"There was a donkey! He had my hat, so I took it back!"
"Interesting…are you sure it wasn't a mule?"
"Yes, because it lacked the more horse-like physical characteristics of the mule."
"Oh."
The happy little puppy put on his hat, setting it at a jaunty angle. Everyone commented that he looked very smart, and they all went out for ice-cream.