Slayer's Fragility

You seduce me, lonely in your hell
naked and hungry, I crawl into your cell...
a virtual drugstore is piled on your bed.
I can't resist with your tongue inside my head...

How can everything be justified by you?

you get off on watching me bleed...
you get off on feeding my disease.
This time will be perfect you explain,
but your tongues' as deadly as a needle in my vein...

How can everything be justified by you?
How can my demise be justified by you?

I'm so tired of living for your touch.
I'm so tired of needing you so much.

How can everything be justified by you?
When did I decide to be crucified by you?
How can everything be justified by you?
By you...

"Drugstore" by Stabbing Westward
from their album Darkest Days

Carefully Angelus laid Buffy down on the couch. Turning away from her, he quickly strode over to the bed, picked up a pillow, and yanked off a sheet. Coming back to her he wrapped her pliant body securely and then propped her up against the pillow.

Squatting in front of her, Angelus asked "Are you hungry?"

Buffy stared at him incredulously before rolling over to her side to face away from him. Undeterred he just moved to the other side of the couch and repeated his question. Exasperated she rolled on to her back to stare at the ceiling. Angelus just leaned over.

"Buffy, don't be childish. You need to eat."

"Why? So that I'll be up to strength so you can beat up on me again?"

Making a sound comparable to a heavy sigh, he moved away from the couch and went into the kitchen area. Opening the refridgerator he saw that it was pretty much empty except for a couple of sodas, a jug of water, and a head of lettuce. Rummaging through the cabinets he had slightly more luck.

Finding the can opener he opened up a can of vegetable soup, grimacing slightly at its' congealed appearance. "Buffy where's your pots and pans?"

Silence.

"Fine, I'll find them myself." He had to open a couple more cabinets before he found the dented piece of metal that passed for a soup pan. Dumping the soup into the pan, he set it on the tiny stove and...waited. Damn I knew this cooking food business was harder than that!

Okay how hard can this be? There's a button or switch that turns this thing on, where is it? Looking at the top of the stove he only saw a clock that was missing a hand. Looking below...he found it!

Proudly turning the knob he waited for the nauseous smell of cooking food. After several moments he did smell something nauseous, only it wasn't veggie soup.

Buffy's voice drifted towards him. Dryly she said "It's a gas stove Angelus. You need to light a match to turn it on."

Feeling a rare prickle of embarrassment he muttered "I knew that. I just couldn't find the matches." Once again looking at the top of the stove he saw a small box of matches. Quickly lighting one he brought the small flame close to the burner, when all of a sudden a large flame jumped up and burned his hand.

"SHIT!"

"Turn down the burner Einstein."

Clutching his hand he just glared in her direction only to see that she wasn't even looking over at him. Gripping the knob he turned it down only to have turned it off completely.

Goddamn this fucking pain-in-the-ass piece of shit stove!!

Clenching his jaw tightly Angelus impatiently lit another match and turned on the knob---gently. Bringing the match towards the burner, he turned his face away slightly, expecting for a ball of flame to rise up again. Instead he heard the hiss of flame catching on gas and felt...no pain.

Braving a cautionary glance at the stove he saw that it looked like what he assumed it was supposed to look like. Within a few minutes the smell of soup permeated the air. Picking up a bowl and spoon from the dish rack, Angelus proudly poured the soup and carried it over to the couch.

Sitting on the floor with his legs crossed Angelus softly spoke. "Here lover, I made it just for you."

Not bothering to look at him she just said "I don't want it."

Patiently talking to her as if she were a recalcitrant child he said "Buffy don't be stubborn. You need to eat. I'll even feed it to you."

Turning her head slightly she speared him with a frigid glare. "I don't want to eat." She then turned away from him again.

"I won't leave you alone until you eat it."

"Ha! Like that's any surprise! You won't leave me alone period, so why should I think that you'll leave me alone over the lousy soup?" Buffy had rolled over and sat up to face him again, the biting anger in her tone evident in her drawn and tight features.

Impatience started to gnaw at him, but he surpressed the urge to force the soup down her throat. Gently he cajoled "Please Buffy, eat the soup. How many times will you get to have me as your nursemaid? I suggest you take advantage of it while you still can."

"You're the reason I would need a nursemaid in the first place! I don't want you and I don't want your damned soup!"

"Goddamnit woman! I just went through all the trials of Hell to make this soup for you and you damned well better eat it!" Lifting up a spoonful he held it front of her mouth, silently waiting in this war of wills.

After several moments of tense silence, Buffy sullenly opened her mouth. Immediately the warm taste of soup slid down her throat, cleansing the taste of his semen. One spoonful became two, and then three as she slurped down each as quickly as he brought it up. She didn't even realize how hungry she was until now.

Neither of them spoke, both were just content to do their seperate tasks of feeding and eating. Within a few minutes Angelus lifted up the last spoonful of soup and waited for her to swallow before asking if she was thirsty. Shaking her head, Buffy sat back and laid her head down on the pillow.

Getting up he picked up the empty bowl and took it into the kitchen. Putting the bowl down into the sink, he looked over at Buffy. She looked so tiny and fragile. So broken.

What do you expect after the performance you just put her through? the annoying voice of his new-found conscience demanded.

Oh hell, what now? Was he supposed to feel guilty for screwing his woman like a whore? He's a fucking demon! It's what he does, it's what his purpose for being it supposed to be! Bringing pain and devestation to mankind, or womankind in his case, but pain and destruction nonetheless! He's not Angel, he's Angelus the demon vampire!

I'm EVIL. I may have certain passions like a human but I am not a human. I'm an evil demon who happens to have unexplainable attachment to a mortal, scratch that, a SLAYER, but I'm still evil. Angelus internally seethed. He felt ridiculous to feel defensive over something that wasn't even as bad as some things he had done in the past to not only Buffy, but to hundreds of other women.

What is evil Angelus? Is it something that flinches away from the cross and seeks to destroy mankind? Is it something that practices satanic rituals on the sixth hour of the sixth day of the sixth month? Or is evil not a thing unto itself, but merely the absence of God? What defines evil? Your being or your action? the inner voice maddenly asked.

Angelus couldn't believe that he was actually having a conversation with himself. It just wasn't to be borne! You can walk away, but can't walk away from me. I am apart of you now and always. I always have been. You just never let me in. But you KNEW that I was there, that's why you committed those atrocities when you walked the earth before. You tried to drown me out and you did...

Then why the hell do I hear you know? he frustatedly asked back.

Look over to the couch Angelus. She's why you hear me.

Buffy? She opened up this Pandora's box within him? Why?

Because you love her you idiot. You always have. Separate and apart from Angel---

Angel?! Soul-boy?! Is he behind this cursed sudden appearance of a conscience? Angelus' features took on a menacing cast at the thought of the previous occupant of his body and Buffy's heart.

You still don't get it do you?

No I don't and I don't want to! Angelus firmly pushed the voice down until it was of no more substance that it had been before tonight. He didn't know if it was some weird trick of the cosmos or if he actually had a tiny conscience that he was just debating with, but whatever it was, he did not want to listen to it.

He had to focus on the present task at hand: breaking Buffy. He reduced her to feeling like a whore by stripping away her pride and dignity. Right now she hated both of them; him for doing it and herself for allowing it. He might have went too far tonight considering that she hadn't been conditioned for a couple of years.

Normally he would have made her come first before fucking her the way he did, but he hadn't really wanted to. That was a big error on his part; if he had made her come, she would have still been upset, but nowhere near as much as she was now.

A woman's orgasm: what an amazing thing. It made most women forgive almost anything. It usually made Buffy forgive him, even after he was the worst bastard to her.

Well, what was done was done. Now it was time to move to the next tactic: making love to her. He had to build up more than just her passion, he had to call forth the love she felt for him. He had to make what just happened seem more like a nightmare than reality to her.

He would kiss and caress her, for hours if he needed to, but he would make her body sing with joy tonight before he had to leave. He would have the words for her love for him spill from her lips.

It would be one of his most tender punishments yet. He would give her no pain, except maybe the pain of re-admitting her love.

When he was done, the idea of making love with Daniel would be all but a laughable memory to Buffy. So even though he told her Daniel would have to wait in line on his list, maybe this would be her punishment for betraying him.

Besides, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. She could have had sex with him, but she didn't because she loved HIM.

See how having some sort of conscience affects you in a good way? Already you have a more forgiving heart. You can't be all that evil.

Gritting his teeth he silently shouted I HAVE NO HEART BECAUSE I AM DEAD. I STILL WALK BECAUSE I AM A DEMON! SO THAT MAKES ME EVIL! Would this infernal voice in his head ever just shut-up? He was starting to feel as crazy as Druscilla!

Determined to concentrate on the challenge of Buffy Summers he stalked over to the couch. Forcing himself to school his features into a pleasant mask, he sat back down on the floor. She didn't even acknowledge his presence.

Reaching a hand forward to stroke her hair, he stopped in mid-action when she firmly said "Don't touch me."

Drawing back his hand, he let it fall to his knee. Surprisingly he aquiesced. "Alright Buffy. You don't want me to touch you, I understand. Will you at least talk to me?"

She just kept her eyes closed. Her face was so still, it could have been carved out of stone. She felt numb inside. Numb to the core. She didn't want to hear Angelus or speak to him. She just wanted to lay in the emptiness of her soul.

Where nothing could touch her.

"Baby, talk to me. You know how persistent I can be, so you might as well give in."

The end of his statement reached the solitude of her mind. "Give in? Isn't that what I always do for you? Whether I give in or not, you'll still carry out whatever twisted plan you have for me. So just do it or leave me alone."

He winced at the dullness of her tone. "You know I won't do that. I CAN'T leave you alone. So don't even ask it of me."

Sitting up again Buffy looked at him with the sadness of her soul peering out of her eyes. "Why can't you? Is it because I'm the Slayer? Is it because you need to prove to the world how beneath you I am?"

Once again reaching a hand towards her head, Angelus hesitatingly placed it on her hair. When she didn't move her head away, he began to run his fingers through the tangled, blond locks. Awkwardly he said "I want and need you because you're you. I would want you regardless if you were the Slayer or just some normal girl."

Sadly Buffy replied "But I'm not some normal girl to be doing this, am I?"

"No, you're not, but you're MY girl. You always will be."

Jerking her head away Buffy angrily spat "Because you own me, because I'm just a pretty whore to you, just your fucktoy! Have you ever thought that maybe I'm tired of being your doormat?" Looking away from him she charged "You had NO right to do what you did to me!"

Staring at her profile for several moments he finally spoke. "I can't take back what happened Buffy." She turned and looked back at him, her face carefully blank of all emotions.

"Honestly I don't think that I would want to even if I could, but you do mean more to me than just a fucktoy."

Angelus then reached for her slim hand, squeezing it with firm pressure when she tried to pull away. Bringing it up to his mouth he kissed each fingertip reverently, all the while looking deeply into her eyes. "I do see you as my property, as my beautiful whore, my fucktoy, and perhaps my doormat at times, but I see you as so much more than that."

Running his tongue down her palm, he laid a heated open-mouthed kiss to the center of her hand. "I see you as the most exquisite creature I have ever seen. I see you as the light that balances my darkness. I see you as the missing half to my godless existence."

Unwillingly Buffy could feel the numbness within her crack at the solemness of his words. He looked so sincere, so truthful. Looking away from him, she clenched her eyes tightly as she felt the burning of her tears. No! NO! "It sounds good Angelus---but I'm not always as stupid as I act."

"Don't call yourself stupid!" he harshly barked.

"I shouldn't call myself stupid but I can call myself a whore. Geez, that makes so much more sense, why can't I get it? Must be because I'm STUPID!"

Angelus just stared at her in frustration before getting up and walking over to a window. Looking out he stood in silence for several minutes. When he saw a lone figure stumbling along the street he vaguely thought of feeding before dismissing it from his mind. He couldn't leave things the way they were tonight.

It occurred to him how stangely important it was for Buffy to feel her love for him again. How many times before had she dragged herself from his bed, emotionally and physically beaten, and with him not even lifting an eyebrow?

What the fuck had happened between them? Things were different now and as much as he hated it, he found that a small part of him liked it also. On a deeper level, he knew that there was a chance for something stronger between them---as long as he could reach her tonight.

Oh man you ARE getting as sappy as that freak Angel he disgutedly thought.

Without turning around he spoke. "Buffy I understand why you probably think I'm bullshitting you. Hell, if it was the other way around I would think you were bullshitting me. I'm not making any excuses for what I have done to you. Like I said before, I wouldn't change what I have done, but that doesn't mean that it always has to be like that."

"But Angelus, why does it even have to be this way?"

Wearily turning around he simply said "Because of what I am, Buff. Because of what I am. You of all people should know the nature of the demon."

"I can't continue like this. I can't keep letting you treat me this way."

"Buffy..."

She held up a hand to stop his flow of words and shook her head. "Stop it. I can't continue to lay down and let you strip away a piece of me each time. I never want to be treated like this again. As long as I let you do this to me, I will never be who I need to be."

Panic hit him at the finality in her voice. Regardless of how emotionally beaten down she was, Angelus could see that this time she really did mean it. He was not about to let her go without one helluva fight though. His method would just have to be more persuasive.

Rushing over to her side, he dropped to his knees and grabbed both of her hands. "Do you really want me to leave? Do you really want me to walk out that door and never come back?"

Buffy had never seen him look so out of control, so panicked. She almost would be willing to believe that she saw sincerity in his eyes...no. Angelus was right, she DID know the nature of the demon. Lying was what they did best.

That and seduce.

His voice sounded strained as he asked her again "Do you really want me to leave?"

"Did you hear nothing of what I just said?"

"I need you Buffy. I need you like I need blood to survive."

"Don't do this to me---"

"I've thought of nothing except you for two years---"

"Stop it!"

"I've craved nothing but YOU for two years."

"Shut up! I don't want to hear this from you!"

His voice dropped to a husky whisper "Did you know that I went insane when you left me? I couldn't believe that my darling girl was gone. I virtually tore Sunnydale apart looking for you. I didn't want to believe that you would leave what we had, that you would leave me to exist without you."

"Angelus you FUCKED other women. You FUCKED girls from my school. You lied to me. You made me believe that I was all you wanted, which obviously wasn't true. There was nothing left for me there."

His first instinct was to verbally rip into her with something along the lines of 'What do you expect Buff? You expect me to turn down free tail? You were the one stupid enough to believe me in the first place.' However he found it surprisingly easy to hold it all inside. He wouldn't believe that he loved her, but he accepted that he needed and wanted her with him...always.

He listened to the pain in her voice, but not with the intention of taunting her with it. He just wanted to make it go away. He wanted her to see him as the only one she could ever love and want.

When did things change for him? Why did they change for him? Was it because for the first time, he hadn't been the only one she could see? Was it because she had tender feelings for someone other than himself? Angelus only knew that he couldn't survive without her.

He would not survive without her.

Without the slightest hint of rancor, he could actually believe that he understood why Angel felt the way he did about Buffy. Perhaps it was because he felt it too.

Careful boy. Remember this is just a means to an end. Don't take your words too seriously.

He had a role to play if he wanted to keep the Slayer with him. However, he couldn't afford to get carried away with it.

"I've never needed anyone like I need you Buffy. I know you can't and won't understand the reasons why I did what I did, but all I can say is that I want you next to me."

He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, they shined with a feral animalistic glow. Buffy felt a shudder run down her spine as his eyes compelled her to answer with her own mindless, animalistic nature. She was held spellbound when he throatily growled "I want to be able to see you, hear you, smell you always."

Angelus could see the unwilling yet almost imperceptable sofening occuring within Buffy at his words. Then he let the bomb drop. "If you tell me to walk out of you life tonight...I'll walk out into the sun tomorrow morning."

There. He said it. He pulled out the heavy artillery. It was a calculated risk, but he knew Buffy still loved him enough that she wouldn't want that to happen. If she did tell him to greet his first and last sunrise with her blessings, at this point he couldn't honestly say that he might not just do it.

Goddamnit Angelus! Focus and quit all your foolish sentiments! his demon instincts reminded him.

"You wouldn't do it. You're having too much fun destroying humanity to just chuck it all away..." Buffy's flippant voice died away as she looked at his determined and deathly still face. Whatever she saw in his face shook her conviction. "Tell me you're kidding. Tell me Angelus."

Angelus just silently stared at her.

"Tell me."

He ignored her demand. Intensity shook from each word as he asked once again "Do you really want me to leave?"

"I can't answer that, not with you casually talking about your death." Buffy began to tug to free her hands.

"All it takes is a simple answer Buffy. Perhaps the simplest one you'll ever have to say. Yes or no?"

"I can't answer you Angelus---"

"Yes or no Buff?"

Unsuccessfully trying to pull her hands away from his grip she shouted "YES! NO!" Shaking her head she softly wailed "I don't know. I just don't know."

Hearing the obvious hesitation in Buffy's voice he turned her hands over and kissed the delicate flesh of her wrists. He could hear her pulse accelerate at his touch. Good. Now he only had to play on her uncertainty.

"Do you never want to feel my touch again?" He ran his tongue up her arm and then suckled the inside of her elbow. "Here?" Angelus moved his mouth sensuously up to the top of her shoulder. "Or here?"

Every part of her arm tingled. Each kiss was a brand. A brand on her body and heart. When he was so tender like this, she could almost believe that he felt more than lust and possessiveness for her. She wanted to be with him so badly.

But the humiliation was too raw, the wound too fresh.

However his mouth felt so nice.

It would be so easy to turn to him again. It always had been. That was her downfall. She softly moaned when his mouth kissed and nibbled her earlobe, flicking his tongue inside her ear, before trailing down to her nape.

"All it takes is a word. One word."

"Don't ask it of me Angelus."

"Yes. No. One or the other." His hands ran down her back, encountering the almost forgotten leash. Pulling back from her, his fingers unhooked the leash and then removed her collar, putting them down on the couch next to her.

The flesh of her neck looked abraided; there were scratches from where the collar dug into her skin when he jerked it too hard and when he strangled her. The bruises from his fingers had faded due to her healing abilities but were still apparent.

Enveloping her in his arms he nuzzled her abused neck. He had to control his rages in the future. He didn't want to come close to killing her again. He never wanted to see his handprints on her neck again.

Unless it was something she asked for, but that would be totally different.

Repeating her words he quietly demanded "Tell me."

Angelus would never do it. He had to be bluffing. But what if he wasn't? What if he was serious? But why would he even throw the threat out there? Not because of her, she didn't mean that much to him. Did she?

No, it had to be another one of his manipulations. It just had to be. But what if it wasn't? What if he's serious? Could she take the chance? Never. "I don't want you to die. I should, but God help me, I don't."

Good. Now all he had to do was coax her back into the bed and then she would be his again. Only this time he wasn't going to fuck it up by screwing her like a whore. He would save that for another time when she craved and wanted the humiliation.

"Buffy let me show you what else you mean to me. Let me take all the pain away. Give me the chance to feel alive, the way I only can when I'm in your arms" Angelus breathed in her ear.

His hypnotic words played on each of her vulnerabilities, addressed each private pain. She shuddered from his touch, for his touch. Buffy wanted so desperately to hold on to her hate, her desolation, but she so wanted to feel treasured by him even more.

Cupping her face Angelus flowed his dark poetry over her soul. "Will you let me take you from the darkness of my damnation? Will you let me glimpse a piece of your salvation?"

Buffy's eyes roamed his face, searching for the slightest shred of deceit. If she could find something, anything, she could resist him. Without it, she could deny him nothing. If only he tried to take from her she would be able to bring herself to fight him.

With him asking, she found herself wanting to give him everything.

If all his words were false, if his threat was false, it was the best approach he had ever taken with her. Angelus had never asked before, he only demanded. This was a new side to him. Perhaps it was a new game.

A game that she was once again going to join him in. Despite what he had done. Maybe BECAUSE of what he had done. "Can you make me forget Angelus?" she tremulously asked.

A relief that he didn't want to think about ran through his body. Still cupping her face, he brought his lips tenderly to hers and gave her the gentlest kiss she had ever experienced in her life. Drawing back he said "You may not forget, but I hope you will forgive."

Drawing his lips forward again he spoke when he just a hairsbreath away from her mouth. "I want to make love with you Buffy."

Her eyes widened. "M-make love?"

"Yes. I want you to show me how. I want you to be the first woman I make love with. The ONLY one I make love with." His mouth then closed over hers, kissing her with a gentle fury.

Buffy was hesitant to respond, but the sensations of having his lips pressed against hers and his tongue in her mouth soon had her kissing him back with as much quiet passion.

Angelus was still on his hands and knees when he reluctantly pulled back. Looking at her face he saw so much desperation and fear. He could see that she wanted to believe in him so much, but that she feared for him to turn on her once again. As she rightly should considering he always would before.

Hadn't he already showed that tonight?

Now was different though. He didn't want to shred her fragile trust. He didn't have the urge to trample on her heart and soul again. At least not tonight he thought, instinctually fighting against the dangerous softening of his character.

Something stronger was definitely going to take place between them. He only cared because it was something that could and would be used in his favor against her later.

At least that was what he wanted to believe.

Be careful Angelus. Remember your strategy, this is all make-believe. A means to an end. Don't get too involved he silently warned himself.

Scared that you'll lose your empty, damned heart to her old boy? Let me let you in on something: it's too late! the wretched voice sounded in his head again.

I have to have a heart first. So there's no danger to me Angelus confidently reassured himself.

Picking up Buffy, he carried her to the spacious bed and carefully laid her down. Following her down, he laid next to her warm body. All the while her expressive blue eyes never left his face. Huskily he asked "What are you thinking?"

"You really want to know?"

"I asked didn't I?"

"I'm just trying to figure out this new sudden change. One minute you're ranting about how you're going to give me all the punishments of Hell, and you do, kind of---"

Arching a thick brow he asked "Kind of?"

"Come on lover, you know you've done worse to me before." Angelus nodded his head in agreement, so Buffy continued. "As much as our last sexual encounter wiped out the really great sex we had before that, you've done worse and cared even less. So what's with this sensitive side?"

"I wouldn't exactly call this sensitive, but all I can say is that even a vampire can change his..."

"Fangs?" she sweetly asked.

"Ha ha. I don't want you to leave. This is my way of showing it to you."

Cynically she answered "I'm just waiting for the mask to drop."

"The mask?"

Humorlessly smiling she clarified "The mask that you always wear to get me to do what you want. I guess I'm just waiting for this tenderness to go away."

Laying his cool hand on her stomach, he slowly rubbed back and forth, occasionally tugging on the chain encircling her hips. He watched in fascination as the pulse on Buffy's neck grew rapid and the scent of her arousal permeated the air like the sweet perfume that it was.

"Maybe it will Buff. Later. But now, I'm in the mood for a lesson. Think you can teach me?"

In response she drew his dark head down and hesitatingly kissed his firm mouth. Her tongue traced the outline of his lips before shyly delving into his mouth. Their tongues flickered against each other; their smoldering passion sparked ablaze.

His hand continued to rub her flat stomach in large, lazy circles. Her hand played with the back of his head, running her fingers through his soft, silky dark hair. Pulling back from their kiss Buffy gave an embarassed smile.

Tracing her jaw with his fingertips Angelus smiled in return. "What?"

Lowering her eyes she apologized. "I'm sorry, it's just that I feel kind of weird doing this."

Amusement softening his face he asked "Why baby?"

"Well I really don't know how."

Drolly Angelus said "Buffy I hate to break this to you, but we've been carnal countless times. You're hardly an inexperienced virgin."

Swatting him on the chest she laughingly said "You know what I mean!"

Teasing her further he said "No I don't. Please, explain it to me."

"Well I know we've done alot together, but never this. I mean it's all been pretty animal-like with both of us fucking just to fuck. It's just that I feel really nervous. The first and last time I made love was with Angel and you know how that turned out..."

The rare, teasing light immediately disappeared and was replaced by absolutely nothing. It was like he pulled down a shade over his eyes to conceal all his thoughts.

Instantly Buffy felt remorseful. "Angelus I didn't mean---"

Cutting her off he evenly stated "Don't apologize. You were just being honest. I know that if given a choice you would have Angel here instead of me. Can't say that I blame you." He turned his head away and stared at the wall.

Laying her hand on his chest she felt compelled to say "That's not completely true. When you treat me like shit and hurt me yeah I think 'Angel would never do this to me. Why did he have to leave me?' But I also know that I love not only Angel but Angelus as well."

Angelus looked back at Buffy. In a fleeting moment she caught a look of vulnerability flit across his face before it disappeared. It had appeared so briefly she was almost tempted to believe that she didn't see it, but she also know that she did not imagine it. This emboldened her to open up her feelings further.

"It sounds crazy and maybe it is, but I feel something for you that I never did for Angel. Something I know I never would. Even though you've put me through the most agonizing emotions that I never knew anyone could ever feel, you've also brought me..." she paused as she tried to put her feelings into words.

Angelus just watched her with an enigmatic look on his face.

Buffy let out a small sigh of impatience as she searched for the words. "You've opened up a new way to...feel things. You showed me how...delicious the agonies of the soul can be." Risking a glance at him, she let out a bewildered laugh. "God that sounds so crazy. I know it does, but I don't know how else to explain it."

Angelus studied her intently before arching a thoughtful brow. "Umm...I like that. Agonies of the soul...yes, I do like that. So you're saying that you like all that I do to you, the little bit of good and the majority bad, right?"

"Yes and no. I don't like it when you hurt me, but the thing is that I feel so intensely. It's like before you, I felt things but never to this degree. As I said, I really don't know how to explain it." Leaning up she gave him a slow, langorous kiss. Drawing back she breathed "All I know is that however crazy it is, I love you Angelus."

Allowing himself a small, triumphant grin he soaked in her declaration of love. "I think you still owe me a lesson Slayer."

Impishly grinning she suggested "Since we're both new at this, why don't we learn together?" Slowly they brought their mouths together agian, pouring their passion into the heated melding of their lips and tongues.

Buffy then moved her mouth from his and licked and bit his neck, causing him to groan loudly. His hand caressed her shapely hip, repeatedly squeezing and releasing her flesh. She ran her tongue over his collar bones before going back to his neck.

As she kissed and licked his neck her hand ran over his muscular chest. Her fingers stopped at his nipple and she started rhythmically pinching and pulling until it hardened with pleasure.

Angelus slid his leg between hers as he mimicked her caress. His hand slid up to her breast where he delicately rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Buffy showed her pleasure by sensuously rubbing against his thigh. She moved her head down and scraped her teeth against both of his nipples. Angelus' head fell back. If this was how lovemaking started, he was already more than convinced it wasn't such a bad thing afterall.

Running her tongue back and forth over his nipples Buffy let her hand roam further down his chest. She ran her nails over his ribs which caused his body to jerk slightly. "Ticklish are we?" she throatily purred.

"Of course not. There's not a ticklish bone is this body."

"Really?" She scraped her nails over his side again. He jerked once more. "You ARE ticklish!" Buffy broke into peals of laughter. "Oh this is too rich! The most feared vampire, the 'Scourge of the Free World' is ticklish!" Devilishly she kept attacking him.

Her hapless victim kept trying to restrain his jerks but to no avail. Unwillingly Angelus felt laughter bubbling inside of him. "Stop it Buffy! Stop woman!" The humiliation! The indignity! As much as he tried to hold it in, a smothered laugh escaped him.

Pouncing on Angelus, Buffy sat on his stomach and then doubled her attack. She now had access to both sides of his ribs. "Come on, admit it! You're ticklish!"

"No..." a choked laugh,"...I'm..." another strangled gasp "...NOT!" Finally Angelus just let it all out. He laughed so loudly that Buffy was sure that Viv could probably hear it all the way at Julio's.

After several moments he gasped "Please...no more...I can't...take it..."

"Nah, I don't think so. I like hearing you say please. And I like hearing you laugh." It was true. This was the first time that she had ever heard him laugh like this. It wasn't his usual cruel, taunting laughter; it was free and natural.

She had never even heard Angel laugh like this. To think of it, he hardly ever laughed. To witness this side of Angelus was something she would never trade for.

"Enough...no more..." he gasped one last time. When she didn't relent, he gently grabbed her wrists and waited for the strange feelings to subside. He had never even knew that he was ticklish.

Looking at Buffy he had to acknowledge that she had never looked more beautiful than she did right now. Her face was aglow with happiness. Her eyes gleamed with mischief and joy. What was it she said? I like hearing you laugh. He felt another strange feeling enter him upon thinking over her words.

Focus you prick! Quit acting like a love-struck fool and get back to work! his ever-present demonic conscience ordered.

Fuck off he silently answered. There was no harm in enjoying himself with the Slayer right now. He knew what his priorties were, he didn't need to be reminded every moment of it.

Rubbing his thumbs over the soft skin of her wrists he playfully warned "Now that you know my weakness, don't go spreading the word. If it gets out, someone might get the bright idea to knock me down, tickle me, and then stake me. What an ignoble way for a creature like myself to die."

Buffy's smile faded and the joy in face dimmed. He could have slit his own throat for causing the light in her to go out. Before he could ask her what was wrong, she vowed "No one will ever be able to get the chance to kill you. They would have to kill me first."

Angelus felt as if he had been blessed with a rare gift. Her pledge to him, freely given, made him feel...it was indescribable. She swore to give her life for him, who would have ever thought?

All of a sudden the thought of her lifeless body flashed in his mind. Just the image of it caused him a strange gut-wrenching pain.

How far he had come when it came to this mortal, and not just including tonight. It seemed so long ago that he had planned so many ways for her to die. Now, he knew that he would seek his own death if she were taken from him.

But it doesn't mean that I love her.

Wanting to shrug off his newfound, uncomfortable feelings he cockily said "I don't think that will be necessary lover. It's not like anyone could really take me out anyways. Besides if you were to get yourself unnecessarily killed, who would I torment?"

Feeling slightly stung, Buffy jauntily said "On second thought I think you're right. Why waste the effort on saving you? Sensuously she slid her heated core against his hard abdominals. "Although...it would be hard to replace you---but not impossible."

Fiercely growling Angelus flipped Buffy over onto her back and held both of her slender wrists in one of his hands. "Lover I don't think talk like that will endear yourself to me." Dipping his head down Angelus softly warned "You don't want me to forget all about the lesson, do you?"

Buffy warned back just as softly "No Angelus, I don't think that you want ME to forget all about the lesson. You see if I do, I'll just have to remember you shoving your cock down my throat and that won't endear you to me at all. Then I'll just have to remember all the reasons why we go against all the laws of nature and then I'll just have to do something about it."

A small smile twisted his lips. Amazingly the Slayer regained her spunkiness; she seemed to forget the weak and pitiful display she made not even an hour before. As far as threats went, Angelus didn't put much faith in this one, but he would allow his little darling this. "Well, I definitely wouldn't want that to happen. Why don't we call this a draw and start over. Deal?"

Buffy stared at the ceiling, seemingly pondering his proposal. Giving a heavy sigh she looked back at him. "Deal." Drawing her leg up, she rubbed her soft thigh against his hard hip and wiggled quite impatiently. "Now can we close the deal?"

Chuckling Angelus graciously accepted. "I thought you'd never ask. Now if I do anything wrong you will let me know, won't you?" Angling his hips he rubbed the large, smooth head of his engorged cock along her weeping flesh, causing them to both shudder with longing.

"Y-es, b-but you s-seem to be a n-natural."

Hungrily gazing down at his woman he murmured "I aim to please." Angelus trailed his hand down her body until his fingers encountered the soft, springy hair of her femininity. Buffy moaned and arched her body when he delved into the warm, wet flesh.

When he took his fingers away she let out a small cry of disappointment. Angelus shushed her and murmured "Don't worry baby. I won't be gone for long." He then let go of her wrists and turned her onto her belly.

Buffy hungrily felt the anticipation of their 'lesson' and unthinkingly writhed on the bed. Each movement against the soft sheets felt like a caress against the tips of her breasts, the flat of her stomach, and smooth flesh of her thighs.

She felt his fingers work the clasp to her chain and soon the metal loosened around her body. She breathed a small sigh of relief that the chain no longer confined her but instead became a teasing whipser of a caress.

Angelus then trailed his lips across Buffy's back and sensitive neck. Each kiss produced a mewl as all her sensations focused onto the piece of flesh that was receiving his beloved assault.

When he began to tenderly nip her golden skin, Buffy's body jolted with so much pleasure that she repeatedly arched her body. Because he was straddled over her, each time that she arched, her bottom came into direct contact with his erection which caused him to growl with sinful pleasure.

Angelus reached under her and cupped both breasts while he nibbled on her graceful neck. She was so hot that she almost felt scalding. When he pinched both of her rosy nipples, and bit down on her neck, Buffy cried out his name in a great, gasping heave.

He could smell the heavy scent of her arousal and it worked on him like a drug. Even in a room full of women, he could pick out her scent. It had haunted him every night, long before he had made her his own.

The memory of it almost drove him insane those first few weeks after his return. To know it: the smell and the taste, but not be able to touch the source was torture. To want to destroy the creature that carried it, but to want to taste the creature even more had been agony.

But now...to have the same creature moan his name was pure ecstasy.

The urge to primitively drive into her was so strong, but the need to taste her was stronger. Letting go of her breasts with a final pinch, Angelus trailed his mouth down the curve of her spine until he reached the small of her back. He then slid his hands under her hips and lifted her up until she was on her knees.

Angelus first bit one cheek and then the other, delighting in her sharp cry of pleasure and pain. He then soothed each bite with his lips and tongue, also delighting in her low moan of pleasure without the pain.

Running his tongue down the cleft between her rounded flesh, he briefly tasted the small, sweet puckered opening. When she crooned, he thought of their last passionate encounter in Sunnydale. If only that bitch Cynthia hadn't opened her goddamned mouth he wouldn't have lost two years with his lover!

Briefly wondering whatever happened to the bitch, Angelus quickly dismissed her from his mind. It wouldn't do for him to be thinking about another while he was making love to Buffy.

Still holding her with his hands against her lower stomach, Angelus took his fingers and spread the luscious lips of her pussy while simultaneously driving his tongue into her from behind.

Buffy's body was wracked with tremors. Her body felt so tight and achy, she wanted to come immediately yet she also wanted to prolong it for as long as possible. His mouth felt so good. His tongue probed and licked her while his fingers gently plucked and rubbed her clit.

When he started licking back and forth between her pussy and the hole of her anus, Buffy shrieked aloud. Gripping the bars of her headboard, Buffy started to rock her body against him.

Drawing his mouth away from her, Angelus replaced it with his hand. His fingers entered her body and twisted in and out while his other hand moved from her clit. They maddeningly trailed up and around her hip, slightly scratching her skin. When he touched the smooth skin of her rounded bottom, he lightly slapped both cheeks.

By this point Buffy was breathlessly babbling his name. Angelus' face was drawn and tight with his unfulfilled lust, but he couldn't help but drink in her arousal and desire. Bringing his hand to his penis, he coated two of his fingers with the liquid that oozed out of the slit. "Oh...Angelus...please..."

Gravely he asked "Yes lover?"

"Make me...come...now...I need to..."

Painfully smiling he promised "I'm going to make you come so good baby. Then I'm going to make you come again and again."

Her breath audibly hitching Buffy tensely awaited. When she felt his fingers slowly invade her back passage, she could have fainted from the exquisiteness. Angelus gently slid the tip of one finger and painstakingly worked her until she loosened enough to let his whole finger in.

When her body adjusted to that, he then carefully worked the tip of his second finger in until it too entered her body. All the while his other hand worked, by this point, four fingers in and out of her clinging female entrance.

In an incredibly short period of time, Buffy felt the telling tremors work their way through her body. She pushed her body back against both sets of fingers and her cries of pleasure grew increasingly louder. When the extent of her ecstasy became almost overwhelming, her body tightened and then broke as wave after wave enveloped her.

"Oh lover...Angelus!"

He could feel each movement of her clenching against his fingers and the sound of his name on her lips was the most beautiful music he had ever heard. His head was thrown back and his teeth tightly clenched as his lust wore down on his tight control.

Buffy let go of her death grip on the headboard as she came down from her orgasm and drew in little gasps of air. How was it possible that each time Angelus made her come, it was even better than the last one? As the intoxicating effects wore off, her body awoke to an even hotter desire.

The desire to make Angelus feel like he was dying only to be reborn again.

The desire to give him as much ecstasy as he gave her.

The desire to join their bodies and make love.

When she moved forward Buffy could feel his fingers slipping from her body, causing her to shudder delicately because of their loss. Turning around to sit on her heels, she encircled her arms around his lean waist and laid her cheek against his cool stomach and breathed him in deeply.

Pulling back she looked up and locked her smoky gaze with his feral one. His eyes were yellow and wild, yet she sensed that he was going to wait for her to make the first move. Wanting to erase the previous act of debasement, Buffy leaned up and captured his mouth with her own before breaking off the kiss and letting her mouth travel down along his body.

When she reached the jutting head of his enormous cock, Buffy unconsciously licked her suddenly dry lips. Slowly she moved her head forward until her wet lips met the tip of his penis. Quickly she flicked her tongue across the slit before enveloping him in her mouth.

Now it was Angelus' groans that filled the air as his darling Slayer bobbed her head up and down on his length. He resisted the urge to grip her hair and guide her head (or more like slam her head) on his cock. Instead he kept his fists clenched at his sides and let her set the pace.

And what a delightful pace it was! She alternated her strokes from slow and teasing to fast and hungry. Several times when she deep-throated him, he felt as if he could spill right then and there. When her small hand cupped his balls and her other hand dug into his ass, he thrust forward once before controlling himself.

Pulling back from him, she softly said "It's alright, I don't mind."

Since he wasn't a demon to be told twice, he thrust his hips into the steady rhythm of her mouth. Buffy's mouth was enough to drive him insane! She knew how hard, how fast, and how much to suck to bring him to the brink of orgasm before drawing back and starting over again.

Looking down he groaned out loud. Seeing his blond goddess' head working furiously up and down on his cock was enough to drive him over the edge, regardless of her teasing. Digging his fingers into her shoulders, he hoarsely groaned "Buffy...I'm going to..."

She gave no notice of hearing his warning, instead she redoubled her efforts. All too soon Angelus shouted as he came in Buffy's lovely mouth. She drank all of his dead seed and moaned softly with delight as she swallowed it down her throat.

Reaching down he thrust his hands under her arms and pulled her up to hungrily kiss her luscious mouth. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Buffy kissed him back with all the passion she could summon in her body.

Without breaking their kiss, Angelus brought her down beneath him on the bed. Buffy's hands restlessly roamed down his back only to entangle themselves in his hair.

Moving his mouth from hers he stared down into her wide, hazel gaze. "I want you so badly baby. I want to make love with you so much."

"Angelus yes. Make love to me. Now" Buffy gasped, her need for him so evident in her voice.

Nipping her neck, he moved her in position for his penetration and lifted her hips with one arm. The head of his already-rampant erection nudged her slick and swollen lips before slowly sliding inch by glorious inch inside her.

Both lovers audibly voiced their pleasure at joining. When Angelus slid all that he could he rested on his forearms, framing Buffy's flushed face between. Without thought he whispered in awe "You are so beautiful."

Smiling shyly in embarrassment, Buffy felt so happy. Angelus had never been this tender before. He never seemed to care enough. Remember the times that he pretended before tonight she silently warned herself. He showed his real side soon afterwards and not just verbally Buffy.

However, she wanted to believe him, she hoped that he wasn't pretending. He would just break her heart if he was. She wanted to accept this and if he was lying, at least she'd be able to remember this moment, right now, forever.

Turning her head to the side she ran her lips over his wrist and latched her mouth onto the inside of his arm. Angelus then bent his head and captured a pert nipple with his mouth while slowly thrusting into her.

Buffy released his arm and let her eyes drift shut as she experienced the full pleasure of the moment. She felt so hungry for him, she wanted the moment to last for eternity. She didn't want dawn to rise and night to melt, she wanted to stay in eternal darkness with her lover.

Her beloved Angelus.

Soon his thrusts became less controlled and more frenzied. Buffy felt so good, love-making with her felt so good. Each slide within her hot cavern felt like the most decadent caress. Angelus wanted to feel her lips, he wanted to taste the sweetness that was Buffy Summers.

Bringing her body up, he thrust his tongue into her willing mouth. Still his body pistoned in and out of hers, allowing him to swallow each of her cries. After several minutes of this, Angelus tore his mouth away from hers and sat back on his heels.

He then lifted her legs from around his waist and threw them on his shoulders. Lowering his head he held her hips and greedily nibbled and licked her wet pussy. Stabbing into her with his tongue, Angelus scraped his teeth against her throbbing clit.

"Lover, you taste so good." Lick and nibble.

"I could do this forever...I love the way you smell."Nibble and lick.

"I want you to come on my mouth baby. I want you to come for me now." Angelus gently sucked her hard clit while bobbing his head up and down.

Buffy could feel the familiar tension gather and center where his beautiful mouth was. Madly twisting the sheets beneath her, she gave a hoarse cry and them climaxed endlessly. The indescribable ecstasy went on and on and all Buffy could do was sob brokenly.

Angelus moved their bodies so that they were in spoon fashion. "Ssh my beauty. Ssh..." He stroked her hair and kissed her neck as she cried. After several moments Buffy hiccuped and let out a watery laugh.

"I don't know why I did that. I mean it's so silly to cry after sex, I don't know what got into me."

Wickedly Angelus replied "I think it was my tongue."

Turning her head back to look at him Buffy playfully frowned. "I think it was more than your tongue and I wasn't meaning literally."

Bringing his head forward Angelus touched his mouth to hers and soon they were finding more to occupy their time than talking. Reaching around he cupped her breast with his hand while Buffy lifted her leg and placed it on his hip. With a hard thrust he fiercely entered her warmth and began a rapid tempo.

Buffy arched her body and covered his hand with her own. After a few moments of tweaking her nipple with him, she let her hand slide down her perspired covered body until she reached the juncture between her thighs. Her fingers unerringly slid past her swollen lips and touched the small, delicate nub.

As her dark lord's body hammered her's from behind she rubbed and plucked herself, desperately seeking release once more. She wanted to come with him inside her body, she wanted to be able to shudder and clench around him. She wanted to hear his deep growls as she did so.

Knowing what she was doing, Angelus slid his hand down and played with the chain around her waist while letting his words of encouragement flow into her mind. "Come again baby. You're so beautiful when you come."

Buffy focused on the intense pleasure of his body, her fingers, and his words. His words were the most powerful weapon he had and Buffy recognized that. When they wanted to tear her down, she crumpled like dust. But when they wanted to build her up, they took her to the greatest of heights.

"Angelus...it feels so good..."

"Ooh it does, doesn't it? Imagine how good it'll feel when you come...when you come all over my cock."

His sinful words were exactly what she needed to push her over the edge again. "Oh yes! Oh yes! Angelus!" Buffy screamed with her release, repeatedly clenching around him with all of her Slayer strength.

Just as she wanted to hear, Angelus growled fiercely with need as he felt her silken muscles close around him. Pulling out of her limp body, he covered her with himself as he settled on top of her.

Drinking in her little contented mewls with his lips, Angelus gently thrust inside her again. Buffy languidly linked her arms around his waist as he moved his body in and out of her. He rapidly slammed into her welcoming body faster and faster until she was again moaning loudly with each thrust.

Angleus felt as if he couldn't get in deep enough, he wanted every inch of himself inside Buffy. "Baby..wrap your legs...around me."

Obliging him, she wrapped her shaky legs around his lean waist. In this position he slid in further, and Buffy's breath hitched with the feeling of incredible fullness.

Angelus could feel his orgasm build, but he wanted more than just his own. He wanted Buffy to come one more time. He wanted her to come with him. "Come again lover...let me feel you again..."

Clenching her eyes shut, Buffy gasped "I don't think...I can..."

Seductively he whispered "Yes you can. Do it for me."

As if by magic,his words worked their dark sorcery on her body and she felt the achy, gnawing of her unfulfilled desire draw up once more. With each uncontrolled thrust, she was brought closer and closer.

Opening her eyes she looked at Angelus' face only to see the vampire form battling to get out. Seeing he had a strong urge for blood, Buffy trustingly offered her neck as she pumped her hips up and felt the first wave hit her body.

Smelling and feeling her orgasm, Angelus let his face transform when he saw Buffy offer the precious fluid of her neck. Emitting a roar his body spasmed as he sunk his fangs into his lover's slim neck.

When she felt the sharp white-hot prick of his fangs entering her neck, Buffy fell into orgasm once again. By this time, she was so weak from pleasure all she could do was softly moan her release and weakly clutch Angelus' broad back.

Feeling her delicious blood flow down his throat Angelus released her neck and gently licked the twin holes until they began to heal. He felt so overwhelmed from the sensations of their love-making and his feeding, at least that's what he told himself later, that he wasn't thinking when he spoke aloud his thoughts in Buffy's ear. "I love you."

She froze when she heard the three words that she longed to hear from him but thought she never would. Could she have heard him really say that?

Apparently she did because all of a sudden Angelus ripped himself off of her body and stared at her in horror. It could not be possible. He could NOT have said those words.

But it was all too true.

He had said the words he had vowed never to say to any woman. And not only did he say it, he said to the Slayer.

He had to get out of there. He could not, would not stay in the same room with a woman who would destroy him. With vampiric speed, he tore through the small studio searching for his clothes. Within one minute of speaking the words, he was dressed and all but out the door.

Buffy could not believe what was happening. One second they were making glorious love and the next he was acting like a madman! Seeing that he was leaving Buffy cried out "What's wrong? Why are you leaving?"

Stopping at the door he threw back his head and bitterly laughed. "What's wrong? She asks what's wrong!" Pinning her with a stare he succintly stated "Nothing Slayer. Absolutely nothing."

Feeling cold dread settle heavily in the pit of her stomach, she asked "Then why are leaving?"

Icily he said "We fucked. Now it's over. Dawn is going to be coming up in a couple of hours and it's time for me to go."

Tears blurred her vision, but she would not let them fall. "Fucked? I thought we were making love."

Nastily snickering he mocked Buffy with "Making love. Fucking. Screwing. Don't you know it's all the same thing Buff? Just another act where you spread your legs for me when and how I want."

Each damning word drove straight into her heart. Instinctually though, Buffy felt as if his words were more a show of forced cruelty than the truth. "You said that you loved me. I heard you."

His face became completely wiped of all expression. Don't do this to her you bastard! Don't fuck up your one chance for happiness! Her one chance for happiness!

The voice shouted this in his head over and over until Angelus screwed his eyes shut and bent double. Digging his palms into the side of his head he screamed "Shut-up! Shut-up DAMN YOU! It's not true! I don't need or love anyone!"

"Who are you talking to?" Buffy confusedly questioned. Angelus just ignored her and continued to shout.

He looked to be in so much pain. His heartless words forgotten for the moment, Buffy rushed over to Angelus. Her only thought was to help him. When she touched his shoulder, he quickly rounded on her with a wild look in his eyes. Buffy stepped back in wariness.

"I won't let you destroy me you bitch! Do you hear me? I won't let you do it!"

"Destroy you? I don't want to hurt you, I love you!"

Torn for a second, he looked at her with uncertainty before growing hateful again. "Love me? Do you think I give a flying fuck whether or not you love me? The only reason I did before was just so that I could screw you, but now I don't even think that you're worth that!"

Unwillingly a sob broke from Buffy as she stared at him.

Coldly looking at her lush, naked form he spitefully said "As lovely as it was, you bore me. So I think that I'll be needing this now." Angelus' hand shot out and yanked the priceless chain from her slender waist until it broke, causing several stones to clatter on the floor. "I'm sure my new lover would love to hear that it was especially designed for her, just like you did."

Abruptly stopping her muffled tears, Buffy proudly drew her wounded dignity around her like a cloak. Anger vibrating from every pore of her body, she ordered "Get out. Now. If you don't I will stake you to the floor and let the sun burn your body into ash. It would be quite painful, as I'm sure you can imagine, so you better get the hell out Angelus."

Snorting he assured her "Not a problem Slayer." A thread of steel laced his words as he warned "If we ever meet again, we will meet as enemies." Without giving her a chance to respond, he was out the door.

Numbly Buffy stared at the door for several moments before turning around and taking a few wobbly steps before collapsing to the floor. Pulling her knees up she laid her head against them while her body shook from the force of her silent sobs. How could things have gone so wrong?

Outside across the street on a rooftop, a lone figure stared at the tiny, naked blond girl rocking back and forth from her grief. Tearing his gaze away from her Angelus looked at the cold, silent moon.

Strangely he felt no elation, no sadistic pleasure at breaking the young woman's heart. Instead he felt a sickness spreading through every part of his body.

Closing his eyes tightly he turned his head away from the symbol of his existence and opened them to look through the factory windows of the studio. He saw Buffy slowly walk to the bed, that just minutes before, was the altar of the most moving sexual experience Angelus had ever experienced.

It was even more moving that what Angel had experienced with Buffy, he felt with certainty.

He watched her wrap herself in a blanket off the bed. He then saw her pick up a pillow and breath in deeply before flinging it across the room. Throwing herself across the bed, he saw her pummel the bed with her fists before rolling over and crying.

Angelus knew the cause for he himself held the glitering gold chain in his fist and could smell the sweet scent of Buffy Summers. Unlike her, he could not bear to fling the jewelry into the empty streets below.

Unable to tear his gaze away from the weeping figure, Angelus felt something wet trail down his face. When he lifted his hand to wipe the stranged moisture away, he saw that it came back wet.

With the blood of his tears.

Shaken by what he saw, Angelus turned away from his spurned lover. You have no idea what you have just done boy. No idea at all the voice sadly whispered to him.

Softly he answered out loud "Perhaps I know more than you. Perhaps now I really do." Angelus then fled into the desolate night.

Meanwhile, Buffy lay curled on her side and unseeingly stared ahead of her. She felt as if her heart had literally shattered into a million pieces.

And Angelus had crushed each piece beneath his heel, so there was no hope of repair and healing for her.

Letting her mind drift back, she remembered when things first went so wrong for her. When she first imperceptibly fell under Angelus' cruel, dark spell. She thought about how she slowly lost her will, her strength, her very soul to an evil vampire. She hadn't always been so weak when it came to him, but even so, she had been ripe for his plucking.

It all started a few weeks after she and her beloved Angel had made love. A few weeks after she lost her virginity and he lost his soul...

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