I dream of Nicky

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Nicholas Brendon: Um, yes, he does, actually he gets mistaken for me a lot. There was one time when we were driving to Yosemite, and we had driven separately, and a busload of teenage girls had recognized him and he said, "No, it's my twin brother." They didn't believe him and started throwing french fries at him.

OnlineHost: Have you ever sent your twin onto the set?

Nicholas Brendon: No, LOL! That is the most asked question. It implies that I have no talent and don't take my work seriously.

Question: Are we going to see more of Xander in a Speedo this season, or have you sworn never to wear one again?

Nicholas Brendon: Speedo -- No! However, in a couple weeks I'm gonna be totally naked. As much as you can be for the WB. I can't really say for what reason, but I enjoyed it. I enjoyed why I was naked this time.

Question: Would you ever be in Playgirl?

Nicholas Brendon: No, I don't think I would because I've seen them before, and if I could show you the pose, it's very unnatural. I would like to meet a girl who likes to play, but no, not a "Playgirl."

Question: What was your favorite episode, and least favorite episode?

Nicholas Brendon: My favorite was an episode called "The Pack," where I was a hyena. My least favorite would be the mummy girl episode. That just didn't seem to work as well as I wanted it to, although I really enjoyed the "Twinkie" scene. I had to vomit afterwards.

Question: What's with those shades?

Nicholas Brendon: They're not really shades, they're actually called glasses, so I could read that question. But I'm real glad you noticed, man!

Question: What is Seth Green like?

Nicholas Brendon: I can't really tell... Seth Green is, if I were concentrate, add water and I'd grow -- that's Seth Green! We're hand in hand pretty much. He's a great guy. One of the nicest people. He's an amazing person, with an amazing heart, and an amazing sense of humor. We're both comedy-based, so one person has to step up and one step down, but we never have a problem being in the same room. He's tops in MY book!

Question: If you could be any kind of cheese, what kind would you be? Why?

Nicholas Brendon: Probably a Muenster. I like Muenster. It's pungent. I like pungent cheeses.

Question: Will Xander hook up again, and what will happen w/Willow and Oz?

Nicholas Brendon: Actually, Willow and Oz are moving to Germany together to open up a brew house.

Question: Is there going to be a spin-off with David Boreanaz called "Angel"? What do you think it will do to the dynamic?

Nicholas Brendon: Yes, we're gonna do some crossing over. I don't know if they are as much as we are. It's going to be a different show because we graduate. I think it's going to be a different dynamic, a different show, because there's only so much you can do with the Angel and Buffy thing.

Question: What was your first real Valentine's Day like?

Nicholas Brendon: Well, my first one, I was young and you do the passing of the cards, for all the classmates, but for the girl I liked, I'd do something extra in the corner. I was 18 years old and wasn't dating anybody, tragically, and I sold flowers on the corner and I made $110. I went home and my mom and dad had just gotten divorced, so I took my mom out and blew the whole amount on her.

Question: What is going to happen further in the season? How long did it take you to find out that you got the part?

Nicholas Brendon: Yes, I knew it was going to happen. It took me a matter of five days. Four auditions and five days. It was quick. I had come in towards the end, and I think they were just horribly desperate. Booking the part made me beautiful. I wasn't beautiful before "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

Question: What do you think about Amy, the resident witch, as a possibility for romance?

Nicholas Brendon: She frightens me! She's a WITCH! She's REALLY a witch. She's going over to Angel, but she wasn't happy with me. Xander wants some action, he wants some play.

Question: Is there going to be a "Buffy" soundtrack?

Nicholas Brendon: Yes, there is. I actually sing on it. They're just picking the songs for it right now. Once I find out when it's coming out, I'll call you, and you'll let everyone know...?

Question: Is it hard being a vampire?

Nicholas Brendon: Well, I mean, I'm not a vampire, so is it hard portraying a vampire? Oh, it was fun. I am a method actor. I didn't suck human blood. I actually went out to Bakersfield and sucked a few cows dry.

Question: Do you like the clothes that they make Xander wear? Does it reflect your own style?

Nicholas Brendon: No, I'm not a big fan of the clothes. I'm the nerd on the show, and they have to put me in big plaid orange pants with mushrooms and butterflies.

Question: What is Sarah Michelle Gellar like in real life?

Nicholas Brendon: Um, she's great. I describe it as the "Real World" for five years, and not eight weeks. We're like brother and sister. We all live for each other and would probably die for each other.

Question: Do you have an e-mail address so we can write to you, or just the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" address?

Nicholas Brendon: Yeah, Buffy. Like I said, I don't have a computer. I would like to get one, but I think they would fight me. I've been online a few times with Joss and Seth, but I haven't read much. I'll get a computer someday, I swear!

Question: If you could do anything besides act, what would you do?

Nicholas Brendon: Horticulture. I tried doing pre-med for a while. "Patch Adams" was based on my story. I would hang in trees and scare people. I would wear the bottle on my nose.

OnlineHost: Thank you for joining us.

Nicholas Brendon: Thanks, bye.

Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher: January 15th, 1999

Bill: All right. How about that for information? Let's meet our panel.

The executive director of the Eagle Forum, Sheila Moloney. Sheila.

[ Applause ]

Nice to see you.

One of the stars of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," on another channel, as we say, Tuesdays at 8:00 P.M., Nicholas Brendon.

Nicholas.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Nicholas: How you doing?

Bill: Thank you for coming.

His new show is "Secret Files of the Spy Dog," Saturday mornings at 10:30 on another network, but he'll always be the Caped Crusader to me, Mr. Adam West, ladies and gentlemen.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Adam: How are you?

Bill: Oh, good. Oh, my God. It's the Batman credit card.

She starred for seven seasons on "One Day at a Time." Her new series, "So Weird," premieres on the Disney channel this Monday, Mackenzie Phillips.

[ Applause ]

Mackenzie: Hi.

Bill: Hey, pleasure to meet you. Thank you very much. Okay. Look at this, the Batman credit card I was given.

Mackenzie: What can you buy with that?

Bill: Yeah, what can you buy with that?

Adam: Bill, you can go around the world. Uh --

Bill: I know what that means.

Adam: You can buy yourself a yacht.

Nicholas: Your book, perhaps, maybe.

Adam: My -- thank you for that.

Nicholas: You're very welcome, there.

Adam: I like this man. Buy my book, right.

Bill: All right, well, let's get to the issues. Now, this week, Bob Barr made a big splash in the news. He was a Congressman. He still is a Congressman, I hope for not much longer. And Larry Flynt, we were just doing a little parody of Larry.

Mackenzie: That was lovely, by the way. That was great.

Bill: Oh, well, thank you.

Mackenzie: I loved that.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Bill: Okay.

Adam: You did love that.

Mackenzie: I did, I loved that.

Bill: Well, and what we're really showed is that abortion is the kind of issue, where if it's somebody else's, they're a baby killer and they're awful. But when it's your case, you know, it's -- well, come on, you have to have some understanding. And there is a web site called the Nuremberg files. I don't know if you're aware of this, but what they do is, they put the names of abortion doctors. And they -- when they're shot, they cross them off. Now, of course, the supporters of this say it's free speech. And my question is, how far does free speech go?

Nicholas: But we're guessing just shot and killed, correct? "I hit him in the knee!" Right?

Bill: Yeah. If they don't kill them, they only, like --

Nicholas: It's half a line?

Bill: Right.

Mackenzie: But they also, on this, they don't just say -- they say "Here are the lists of the butchers."

Bill: Yes, they do.

Mackenzie: So they're inciting violence. They're not just saying, "Here's a list of lovely gentlemen who might help you perform an abortion." They're saying, "Here are the butchers." And they give the address of their offices.

Bill: Right.

Adam: Oh, gosh. Is this a hit list?

Bill: And a list of where their kids go to school.

Adam: This is a hit list?

Nicholas: 'Cause that's not legal. Is it?

Adam: The mob and certain South American dictators, probably Microsoft who had a hit list.

Sheila: Bill, you could also say that this serves a purpose. I mean, you've got web sites that now tell you that you live next door to a child molester. Why shouldn't you have a right to know you live next door to a guy who kills babies for a living?

Nicholas: Are you joking? Are you serious? Really?

Sheila: Yeah.

Nicholas: You're using Megan's Law against somebody who --

Mackenzie: But you think it's okay to say, "Here are the names of the butchers"?

Sheila: If that's accurately describing what they do.

Mackenzie: Oh, my gosh.

Nicholas: We're getting into semantics.

Sheila: This page, I think if violence comes out of it, then that is a horrible thing. And I in no way advocate that.

Adam: It's the ultimate hypocrisy.

Sheila: What about shame? I mean, these doctors make a pledge that they are going to -- they're supposed to make a pledge to help people.

Nicholas: It's not illegal. I mean, it's still legal in this -- I need my medication. I'm getting -- my heart's starting to go.

[ Talking at once ]

Sheila: No, but so these doctors who've made a pledge to help people for their lives go and, I believe, hurt people and kill innocent human beings.

Mackenzie: And what about the child that ends up living on the street because the mother couldn't provide for it? What about the woman --

[ Applause ]

And has to have a baby by a rapist?

Sheila: So we should just go shoot them in the head once they're born.

Mackenzie: No, that's what they're doing to the abortion doctors. They're going and killing them.

Sheila: But violence begets violence. I think all forms of violence are wrong.

Mackenzie: So they're saying "Here's the butchers" and you don't expect that to make violence?

Nicholas: Hey, I say why don't we start our own web page and let's list the abortion people, and let's start killing them, too. I mean, eye for eye, right?

Mackenzie: Yeah, baby.

[ Scattered applause ]

Nicholas: I mean, it's that ridiculous.

Adam: But that's the hypocrisy of the whole thing, isn't it? That people who present themselves as Christians, with their attitudes and Golden Rule and so on, are the ones who create the hit lists and who are shooting the so-called butchers. There's something wrong here.

Bill: It doesn't seem like something Jesus would do.

Mackenzie: No.

[ Applause ]

But I think that the word of Jesus --

Sheila: I agree with you that anyone who calls themself pro-life and takes the life, even of an abortionist, is not pro-life. I mean, I think that is correct.

Bill: But what do you expect when they do this, when they list the addresses of these people, when they cross their names off the list, when they say where their kids go to school? Don't you see that as being --

Sheila: They don't say where their kids go to school.

Bill: They do.

Sheila: I just looked at it.

Bill: Even if they don't, it's still egregious.

[ Laughter ]

But they do.

Mackenzie: There you go.

Bill: I mean, I'm telling you they do.

Nicholas: What's the difference? I mean, it's like so basically we're going to shoot the doctor who's gonna, you know, have given abortionS or we're gonna list where his kid goes to school. I mean, why? So what, that you can kill that kid? The whole thing is ridiculous.

Sheila: I'm not advocating killing abortionists. I'm just saying recognize --

Bill: But it's easy to distance yourself from it by saying, "I'm not advocating it, but we do have this web site where, if you do it, we'll congratulate you and cross the name off."

Mackenzie: Do they even list the person who's actually performed the assassination?

Bill: That I probably --

Nicholas: That would be stupid, I think. Because then they're --

Mackenzie: Oh, yeah.

Bill: I think that guy's hiding in the woods in North Carolina.

[ Laughter ]

Mackenzie: He's saying --

[ In exaggerated Southern accent ]

"You got a purdy mouth."

[ Laughter ]

Adam: The opposing web site will list the others.

Sheila: It can start a dangerous precedent for that type of thing.

Adam: It's like a range war.

Sheila: But I think in terms of listing these people who should be so proud of what they do, if they are really, truly -- I mean, what they are doing, they say they're proud of. So, you know, fine, let's see if their neighbors are proud of them. Let's see if their churches, their synagogues are proud of them. What happened to shame?

Mackenzie: I think that the slice of society that has these absolutely Byzantine beliefs that abortion is wrong, I believe --

Sheila: A human being, like you and I were, is a human being.

Bill: But it's not like you and I.

[ Talking at once ]

Nicholas: Do you remember being in your mommy's womb? Now, I'm a twin. And there were two of us. My mom's five feet tall. So we didn't have much room. And I don't recall that, to be honest with you.

Adam: Is your twin a little guy?

Sheila: Oh, okay. So if you can't remember something then we can kill you.

Bill: You always say you're protecting the unborn. Un-born.

Sheila: They're not born yet.

Bill: Doesn't that mean something, unborn? Doesn't that define something that is --

Sheila: Doesn't that mean that they're the most vulnerable type of people that there are.

Bill: No, it says they're not people yet.

Nicholas: It says they're not born.

Sheila: Shouldn't liberals especially be coming out and supporting them?

[ Applause ]

Bill: Well, we have to take a commercial. We'll come back.

[ Applause ]

Bill: All right. We were talking about abortion, actually, in light of the Bob Barr revelations this week. And you mentioned what happens when the child is born that nobody wants? Well, there's a woman named Barbara Harris. We have mentioned her before on the show. She has made a crusade of this. She has an organization called "CRACC." It's --

[ Laughter ]

Children Requiring A Caring Community.

Mackenzie: With a K.

Bill: Perhaps slightly misspelled. But okay. Basically what she does, to cut to the skinny here, is that she pays crackheads $200 to get sterilized.

Adam: There are two basic cruelties here.

Mackenzie: What are they?

Bill: Yes, Batman.

Adam: One for society.

[ Laughter ]

One against society. The taxpayer and certainly one against the individual and their civil rights.

Bill: Well, it's not -- the taxpayer has nothing to do with it.

Adam: I'm sure that they pay these people --

Bill: Not tax money.

Mackenzie: This is a private organization that's paying out.

Bill: It's only 200 bucks.

Adam: Oh, thank goodness, I thought my taxes were going up.

Mackenzie: Paying drug addicts to --

Sheila: Take the money then buy more drugs.

Nicholas: Well, right now, I'm a crack user.

[ Laughter ]

But I use crack with a "K," people, okay?

Mackenzie: It makes a difference, you know.

Nicholas: So I'm high as a kite, right, and, Adam, you come up to me and first give me your Batman card, and I say, "Thank you." And secondly, say, "Here, Nick, have 200 bucks to get sterilized." And I say, "Cool, I can get more crack."

Adam: Of course.

Nicholas: Now -- well, I'm a man. Say I'm a woman. Nicole.

Mackenzie: You're a woman, Nicole.

Nicholas: So then you get -- I think five years later, I want a kid. Man, I had a really screwed up life back then. Wait. I took $200 to buy crack.

Bill: Right.

Nicholas: It's horribly wrong, and it's sad that someone would even have that idea.

Adam: It's like people selling body parts.

Nicholas: They say this is a good idea. Because you know what?

Bill: Really? I'm for it.

Nicholas: Kids should be -- but kids should be like, like my kids. Like Bobby and Cindy. Bobby, Cindy, I think we're lost.

Adam: No, no.

Nicholas: People change. And the fact of the matter is --

Bill: But if you make that big of a mistake, do you really deserve that second chance?

Mackenzie: But they're also paying these women to get Norplant or to --

Nicholas: That's fine. Birth control is cool.

Sheila: Let's treat them like animals. Because we don't want riffraff like that around.

Nicholas: I am riffraff.

Mackenzie: I'm riffraff, too, because I'm a recovering addict and alcoholic. And I have an 11-year-old son. And I used while I was pregnant. And that's something that my son knows about, and that's something that we've discussed. And that's something that speaks to the absolute desperation of the disease of alcoholism.

Nicholas: It is a disease.

Mackenzie: It's an absolute -- it's a desperate situation.

Sheila: You love your son, right?

Mackenzie: I absolutely love my son.

Sheila: Do you wish they would have sterilized you when you were having --

Mackenzie: No, I certainly don't.

Sheila: Talk about not caring --

Mackenzie: Wait, we're not talking about what kind of women these are. Are these women who are chronic relapsers? Are these women who are dropping babies left and right that die on the streets?

Bill: Yes.

Mackenzie: I don't know. That's what I'm saying.

Adam: Three times and you're out maybe here, huh?

Nicholas: Why don't we hire -- 'cause Lord knows there are people who need jobs. Why don't they hire little teenage boys and girls to follow people around with condoms. So they have to have protected sex.

[ Talking at once ]

Sheila: You're missing the whole problem. These are drug addicts. So instead of solving the problem and caring for the people, we're just saying, "Well, let's just sterilize them. Because, you know, we don't want more of them."

Bill: If you are so irresponsible that you would have a baby, it's bad enough that you're addicted to crack, but you would have a baby addicted to crack, don't you think that demands some measures?

Sheila: I'm sorry, but I guess I see that the gift of life is a gift to you and, yes, perhaps you shouldn't have --

Mackenzie: Have you seen these crack babies? Have you seen the footage of these --

Sheila: Are we going to kill those, too?

Mackenzie: I'm not saying that I think that this is necessarily right or wrong. I'm saying that these women should be offered treatment. And if they're chronically relapsing --

Sheila: Sterilize them?

Mackenzie: I'm not talking about treatment for addiction and alcoholism.

Sheila: I totally agree.

Mackenzie: I'm screaming at you and I apologize for that. I'm a little passionate about it.

Nicholas: I'm next.

[ Talking at once ]

Bill: Hey, wait! Shut up, everybody's talking at once.

[ Laughter ]

Adam: Otherwise you're selling body parts, it's the same thing really.

Mackenzie: You think?

Nicholas: Has it happened to you before?

Sheila: Why aren't you neutering all the men? Why is it the women, huh?

[ Scattered applause ]

Why are we the guinea pigs for your little social experiment?

Adam: I've sold several body parts.

Nicholas: Good. All right, man, I'm a big fan of yours.

Bill: Men don't give babies. Men can't have babies.

Nicholas: We help the process and have a good time.

Bill: I believe she also --

Adam: Irresponsibility is part of the disease.

Bill: Right.

Adam: That hopefully we can find a way to cure. As you obviously were cured or cured yourself, whatever, willpower or whatever device you used or method.

Bill: Right.

Adam: Or method.

Nicholas: Drugs.

Adam: Other drugs.

Mackenzie: Very funny, Nick.

Nicholas: Thank you.

Bill: Isn't the quality of life just as precious as life itself, if not more? I mean, life itself --

[ Applause ]

Nicholas: Yeah, Bill.

Bill: Seems to be terribly easy to come by. But quality --

Sheila: So you're gonna go around snuffing out all the people who you don't see that they have a quality of life.

Nicholas: See, it's not that black and white, though.

[ Talking at once ]

Yeah, maybe some yes, maybe some no. But we can't have a conversation here in 24 minutes saying, well, it's gonna be this way or this way. There's a little middle ground. There's color TV now. Few years ago there wasn't. We have color.

Mackenzie: These must be women who are chronic relapsers.

Nicholas: There are many ways to look at this.

Mackenzie: Women who are having children, women who are prostitutes, women who are spreading disease. Women who are having children with HIV. You know? We don't know the specifics of this. We know sort of the outline of the question, but we don't really know what the root of this is.

Bill: That's the way we're gonna keep it. We'll be right back. We'll take a commercial.

Bill: Okay. Now I know we're talking about some subjects that were very heavy and very disturbing. But I have one here now --

Nicholas: This is the most heavy.

Bill: I think this is even more disturbing. There is a new theme park, I guess you'd call it, like Hard Rock Cafe, all those places, okay. This is like Disney Land, a place where you go, you pay 50 bucks. It's called Tinseltown. And the object of it is that anybody can go and be treated like a movie star. They have hired people there to treat you like a movie star. People who pretend they're paparazzi, they're autograph seekers. And you're there -- for 50 bucks. You're there on Oscar night --

Mackenzie: They even have -- they have screaming fans?

Bill: Right, they have reporters shouting questions, "What's your next project?"

[ Laughter ]

"Who are you romantically involved with?"

Nicholas: They actually have one who fondles you. Like, people fondle you.

Bill: And fondle you. For an extra 20 bucks you can get a --

Adam: How serious do the stalkers have to be?

Bill: I don't know, but I mean, is this not a disturbing thing?

Nicholas: How much does it cost? 'Cause I'm there, man. 'Cause I need to be treated like a star.

Mackenzie: It's $45, the admission.

Bill: $45.

Nicholas: $45. Do you get a mug? A coffee mug with that?

Bill: No.

Mackenzie: We have a --

Bill: Because you're a star.

Nicholas: You're a star, baby, you're a star.

Bill: You wouldn't need a coffee mug.

Nicholas: Call me.

Adam: I think there's a problem here.

Bill: What is it?

Adam: It's one of balance. They sell you a ticket, maybe, the family for a day to be treated like a star, a celebrity, for a day, two hours. The balance is wrong, because they will never know what it's like to be a celebrity until they buy a ticket for two to three years.

[ Laughter ]

Nicholas: Every day? Are we talking like --

Adam: Yes, every day.

Mackenzie: But wait a minute.

Nicholas: Maybe that's why they don't put a park out, think about it.

Bill: You're saying there's a down side?

Adam: There's a down side.

Bill: Which is?

Adam: They have to spend two or three years at Tinseltown to really know --

Nicholas: But, no, no --

Adam: To really know what it's like to be a celebrity.

Mackenzie: No, the up side is that they don't ever have to work.

Bill: Yeah.

Mackenzie: They just go there and hang out and get treated like stars. They don't have to stand out in the rain.

Bill: It's so narcissistic. It's like a --

Sheila: Thank you. I agree.

Nicholas: Well, you're thinking narcissism, narcissism.

Sheila: Well, it's just so shallow. And it's like fame for fantasy.

Mackenzie: Yeah, but this country is fascinated with celebrities.

Nicholas: See, I would go to Tinseltown, not because of the star --

Adam: It's a culture driven by celebrityhood, in a sense.

Nicholas: But because of the craft. Because I truly believe in it.

[ Laughter ]

Bill: The people who are playing the people who are mobbing the people who go to the park are themselves out-of-work actors.

Adam: Right. Right.

Mackenzie: It's so sad.

[ All talking at once ]

Nicholas: Every day they had like a $1,000 giveaway, where the people who are mobbing these people, they have like a hidden celebrity. And the first person to find them got some money.

Bill: Right.

Adam: Would you volunteer?

Mackenzie: My son wants to go to Tinseltown. And I'm thinking, "I can't take him to Tinseltown." I can't take my kid to Tinseltown.

Bill: You shouldn't take your kid to Tinseltown.

Mackenzie: He read the article in "The New York Times."

Sheila: Your son reads "The New York Times" at 11?

Mackenzie: Yeah. I have a really bright kid.

Bill: He read what?

Mackenzie: "The New York Times".

Nicholas: Do you guys all read here?

Mackenzie: Yeah.

[ Laughter ]

Bill: But it -- doesn't it sort of give the message that there's a disconnect between hard work and achievement? I know it doesn't look like celebrities work hard to get where they are, but I mean, you know, everybody here did. Everybody knocked around and knocked on the --

Sheila: Yeah.

Bill: What?

Nicholas: I knocked on some people.

Adam: And you know, like you said, you could work at Tinseltown and be one of the paparazzi, and knock around for awhile and maybe get discovered, you know. But I'm sure that's a dream. We are amusing ourselves to death.

Bill: Right.

Adam: We have theme parks of every possible disguise and flavor. And I don't know what's gonna happen. This will become one huge amusement park.

Nicholas: Did you ride your coaster over at Six Flags?

Adam: Damn right.

Nicholas: Have ya?

Adam: Why?

Nicholas: Well, 'cause there's actually, over in Tinseltown, there's gonna be a Xander ride. It's a whirligig of fun. Yeah, that's my character's name, Bill, in case you didn't know that.

Bill: We have to take a commercial.

[ Applause ]

Bill: All right. I only have a little time. We're talking about people who want the experience of being a celebrity. Let me ask these celebrities, did you ever have sex in a limo? Yes or no?

Mackenzie: Yes.

Nicholas: Yes.

Bill: Batman?

Adam: Only in Tinseltown.

[ Laughter ]

Bill: Tomorrow we're gonna -- No, Monday, Nell Carter, Chuck D., Tim Scott, Julianne Malveaux. That's our special Martin Luther King celebration show. See you then, folks. Thank you very much.

The following is the transcript of Nicholas's appearance on "LIVE with Regis & Kathie Lee" on January 18, 1999. (You can find this transcript and other cool stuff about Nicholas at The Xander-holics site at http://members.aol.com/danilynn27/xander.htm

Thanks to W0W16@aol.com for the transcript

Regis: I want to tell you about our next guest. Killer good looks, sarcastic, almost sounds like George (referring to a previous conversation with Kathie Lee), sarcastic wit. Made him a huge hit on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, even a bigger hit with all the ladies in the audience. It's our pleasure to introduce Nicholas Brendon.

(Nicky comes out in a brown shirt and gray pants, a long blue wool coat and black boots. He has on black framed glasses. He is holding two magazines and a cup of coffee.)

Kathie Lee: Hello, How are you?

Nicholas Brendon: Good, Thank you. I come bearing gifts. I brought...this girl's beautiful. Yeah. (He hands Regis a copy of Sport Illustrated.)

R: Look what Nicholas found backstage.

NB: I thought you were higher class. (Hands Kathie Lee a copy) Nothing personal.

KL: Just what I wanted to look at all day.

NB: I'm going to cross my legs and you're going to realize I'm not wearing socks.

R: Oh, Look at you.

KL: But with those you don't really have to.

NB: No, I'll be honest. What happened was I got a call this morning at my hotel at 8:40, I had just passed out. And, It was the car driver. And, So I got ready in five minutes and FLEW here and...

R: Sounds like a big night last night.

NB: No actually I, I, I, It was a day at LA X.

R: Oh, I got you.

NB: Never do E. Tickets.

R: What are E. Tickets?

NB: Where the people who are flying you out order it over the phone, Show ID, Boom, You get it, You're on the plane. (Using accent) "No, No, Sorry we have no confirmation number." So, But this is my name. "Sorry." So, I went to my car, LA X., It's very far away.

R: Sure

NB: I say listen, this is all I have. "No, We have no confirmation." And I go back and I come back again and then I hear two women. She says "Excuse me, This guy here, He's causing problems. He's trying to get on the plane for free."

R: Were you dressed like that?

NB: No, No, I was dressed nicely. (Looks Regis up and down.) You're commenting on my attire?

R: No! No!

NB: I think for five minutes this is pretty freakin' good. (Audience applauds.) Thank you.

R: So, Go ahead...

NB: Then I, So, Then I, I hear them talking, loudly, So I can hear it and I said after about two minutes, You got a problem with me? You got a problem with me? "No sir, No sir, What are you talking about?" Well, I just head you guys talking about me, I have a ticket. "Oh, We're so sorry." The problem was in that twenty minute conversation I had missed my plane.

R & KL: Oh no! That's the worst, That's the worst!

NB: I had to wait an hour.

R: A whole hour?

KL: And you're not bitter...

NB: I had a lot of expresso. (Takes a sip of the coffee he brought out with him.)

R: So, You were a little edgy when you got on the next plane?

NB: I'm not edgy Regis!

R: Did we meet? Did we meet in a coffee shop?

NB: We did, We met...

KL: You have a thing for coffee don't you?

NB: Actually, Me and Rege have been having a tryst

KL: Yes, Really...

NB: For a while now...I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up!

R: That's OK

NB: We'll talk to your wife later.

R: It was a wonderful night.

NB: No, You, You were, You were on some sort of tennis, I think, um, uh, holiday.

R: Joy (his wife) and I

NB: Love your legs by the way.

R: Thank you.

NB: Couldn't be nicer.

R: You couldn't keep your eyes off of them. So, We went to a coffee shop on the Sunset Strip, and there was Nicholas.

NB: You had on a pair of sunglasses.

KL: He doesn't like to be recognized.

R: The hippest, right?

NB: No, It was the kind where you can still see the eyes. So, He was trying to be that hip guy. Don't look at me, but I am Regis. It's like wearing a beard and dark glasses.

KL: Yeah

NB: Who are you fooling now? More people look at you then don't. So, And I had on these kinda cool Hollywood LA black frames with green eyes and I said, Hey, Wanna trade? He said, Yeah, Sure. So I put on his, Like a talk show host and he put mine on and you know, you looked like an older rocker Pat Boone. Now I was going to bring these glasses...

R: An older Pat Boone?

NB: Not older than Pat Boone.

R: That's old! Is that good? Gelman (the show's producer) says its not.

NB: Funny, Gelman's giving me the thumbs up though. Thank you, I love you too. (Gives thumbs up sign offstage.)

KL: He's a very nice looking guy though. That's not bad Regis.

NB: I wasn't talking old or older. I'm saying you looked like Pat Boone.

R: Yeah

NB: Yeah, You didn't take well to that. I was going to bring them with me...

R: Yeah, You should have.

NB: And give you a gift.

R: I remember meeting you.

NB: But with the airport thing...

R: That's a lot of aggravation.

NB: And, And, I think I have to give those back. (Points to the magazines he handed them earlier.)

KL: Yeah, No, Here you go.

NB: Keep it, Keep it til we're done.

KL: We're done.

NB: Oh, We're done. And I love you too.

KL: Well, I love you but I don't make these...

NB: And I watched your Christmas special. Come on.

KL: I love you for that. Thank you.

NB: I didn't have one, but next year I will and you better watch it.

KL: You can have it.

NB: (to Regis) And you're going to be dancing on it.

R: This guy's a good guest.

KL: He's an excellent guest.

R: Too bad he's got to go now.

NB: Thanks, Bye, Thanks for coming.

R: No, Tell us what's new with Xander.

NB: Xander?

R: Is he protecting us from vampires?

NB: He's making love, He's protecting, He fondling.

R: One of those vampires is going to catch him though.

NB: That's fine, As long as they make love to me.

R: Oh really?

NB: Yeah

R: You make love to the vampires and then you kill them?

NB: My, My love life right now, isn't, isn't great, Rege.

R: You mean in real life?

NB: No, No. I did go on a date a couple days ago.

R: Did you really?

NB: Yeah

R: Did you fall in love?

NB: I, I, She might be watching. (Talks to camera) Yeah baby, I, I wanted to do it right now, You wanna get hitched?

R: Look it how crazy this guy is. I love him. When you come back, promise you'll stay longer. (Puts his hand on Nicky's arm.)

NB: (Looking at Regis's hand on his arm.) As long as you don't touch me ever again.

R: Thank you, Thank you very much. Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the WB.

(Nicky stands up and takes a few bows.)

This is a direct transcription from The Howie Mandel Show. All copyright on the material, belongs to "The Howie Mandel Show".

Howie: Our next guest is one of the reasons I can't get my daughter to do her homework on Tuesday nights.Because that's when this guy can be seen helping Buffy take out the vampires on Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the WB. Check this out, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Willow: I don't know if I can dance in this . . I don't know if I can dance!

Xander: Here, come on.

Willow: Well, this doesn't seem to be a problem.

Xander: No . . no problem at all.

Howie: Please welcome, Nicholas Brendon!

Howie: Wow. I see you're wearing the colors of the job.

NB: And white socks.

Howie: And white socks.

NB: I was out of black.

Howie: Because you're --

NB: And besides, I'm a white guy. I don't know.

Howie: Jerry Lewis fan?

NB: Huge! "Hey lady!"

Howie: That was a very nice scene.

NB: I get to kiss people.

Howie: You do?

NB: I get paid to kiss beautiful girls.

Howie: Do you? Are you romantic in real life?

NB: Yeah, I am. Well, yeah. I used to be really romantic.

Howie: And you're not now?

NB: Well . . well, when you lose love. . .

Howie:You're hearbtroken?

NB: I don't wanna talk about it.

Howie: Can I get you a tissue or something?

NB: No, I have to learn how to deal with it.

Howie: Thank you.

NB: Thank you

Howie; I don't have a whole one

NB: Thank you, I un, need another one. Cause this story is sad. . .

Howie: Why is it ocmnig out like this? Go ahead . .

NB: I was about twenty years old, and I was in New York, on a whim, I was living with a friend and seeing this girl who lived in New Jersey. And uh, it was over the holidays . . .

Howie: Right

NB: I was leaving on a Monday, 1 o clock Sunday in the morning

Howie: Right

NB: And she had come up with this great idea to take a cab to New Jersey and write a love letter and drop it off at her house.Cause it's romantic.

Howie: That is romantic.

NB: I said yeah, let's do it. So got in the cab, three hours later I'm in New Jersey. But I have no idea where she lives.

Howie; Yeah, and it's a small city.

NB: Small, green. I called her at 4 . .

Howie: In the morning

NB: In the morning. And my cab fare was $150.

NB: So I called her and her dad answered the phone because she was from LA and she was visiiting her parents.

Howie: Her dad answered the phone at 4 in the morning?

NB: "Hello, is Lisa there?" and he said "Who's calling?"

Howie: As a dad I can just tell you I don't hear the romance in this story.

NB: No no. Well, that night me and the dad made passionate love So I said "Hey, Lisa, it's Nick" And she's " Why are you calling me?" and I said "I was in the neighborhood and wanted to drop off a letter" so I get there finally to drop off the letter and I get there, and if this had been a film, her face was, it should have been "Don't ever calll me again"

Howie: Right

NB: She didn't say that, it was the look that she gave me.

Howie: She didn't appreciate ---

NB: I got back in my cab, I just made my plane

Howie: You drove all the way to New Jersey . .

NB: $350 was my cab fare.

Howie: $350 dollars, all those hours, 4 o clock in the morning, you dropped off a napkin, and you've never seen this woman again

NB: I brought her some really ripe brie too I thought that might --

Howie: Brie?

NB: Yeah

Howie: What woman doesn't like cheese? It's no better

NB: And a ripe brie is really special, it says I want to commit

Howie: Nothing says I love you better than cheese.

NB: Than cheese.

Howie: Ripe cheese. I think the answer is I want to be romantic, I just don't really know how.

NB: Yeah

Howie: Well on the show, on the show, I was reading No you keep that you might need it for this question

Howie: I hear it's like a playful set. You know, it's dark, because of the vampires, but you guys are playful and there's practical jokes

NB: And nudity.

Howie: Nudity?

NB: That would be how the playfulness comes in. We were doing a scene in front of the cameras and Alyson and Sarah. . Alyson plays Willow, Sarah plays Buffy . . Sarah had talked to the camera department to keep rolling, and Alsyson was going to pants me. And they were gonna have this for the gag reel and it was going to be very funny.

Howie: Right

NB: And what had happened Howie, I didn't have any clean underwear.

Howie:

NB: And I was wearing sweats.

Howie: You didn't havee any clean undeerwear? That's unbelievable.

NB: It was a Friday, Howie!

Howie: I would think you would be carrying around napkins.

NB: Thanks for the suggestion.

Howie: Right in front of everybody

NB: And the camera was rolling . .before I realized what had happened a strong breeze came by and I was just flapping there . .

Howie: Do they do that to you . do you do stuff like that to them?

NB: Well, no what I did to get her back, cause I couldn't do that back to her, cause I would be in jail

Howie: It's a woman.

NB: Which is *wrong*. So I ah, poured sugar in her gas tank.

Howie: But that will ruin the car!

NB: And I . .she has a playroom, in her house . .and I , I burned it down.

Howie: That's a practical joke?

NB: Yeah, yeah.

Howie: That's called *arson*.

NB: I know . .finally I wasn't crying amymore, I was laughing a lot.

Howie: You are a nut aren't you?

NB: I'm weird. I'm cheesy and I'm nuttty

Howie: You're kdidng . Tell --

NB: No.

NB:: Yes, of course I'm kidding.

Howie: Tell them all you're kidding.

NB: I'm joking.

Howie; He didn't burn down her house, and he didn't put sugar --

NB: I didn't . . you can call Alyson right now and ask her.

Howie: Maybe we will call her.

NB: What kind of car do you drive?

Howie: I'm not telling you.

NB: Where do you live?

Howie: I'm not telling!

NB: Don't piss me off!

Howie: I won't. Four o clock in the morning . .

NB: Some cheese.

Howie: What other jobs before you were an actor did you have?

NB: I was of course, a waiter for many years. I got fired from every --

NB: Yes.

Howie: Just from people who eat.

NB: Thank you.

Howie: Michael's Cafe, they need some today

NB: Do they? I dropped off scripts for actors.

Howie: Right

NB: Once I went to . . Dan Haggerty .

Howie: Grizzly Adams

NB: His house in Malibu, very lovely place

Howie: Right

NB: I was a P.A on a sitcom

Howie: Which sitcom?

NB: Dave's World

Howie: Dave's World. Did that last long?

NB: No, fired.

Howie: Why?

NB: That job didn't, I wasn't really good at the protocol and politics of that job

Howie: What's the politics?

NB: Making coffee, getting food for people

Howie: You had trouble buying food for people?

NB: I would buy the food that *I* wanted They would give me a list, and I, you know, well, I like these Pop-Tarts, they're not gonna know. They're writers. . . I'm joking, if there's any writers in here, I think they're very . .

Howie: I'll watch your lines coming up in the next few weeks

NB: Joss Whedon is very talented. The person that runs my show,

Howie: Right

NB: And what had happened one night, I went out, I got home at about 7:00 so I took a nap in the executive producer's office. And I got caught.

Howie: And you got caught sleeping in the executive producer's office. Well, that's a good hiding place.

NB: That was the end of my -- I had a friend at the door.

Howie: You're weird.

NB: And you're normal.

Howie: I'm not normal, but you're weird.

NB: You're weirder.

Howie: You're really weirder.

NB: Thank you

Howie: Thank you so much for being here Nicholas Brendon, ladies and gentlemen! Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Tuesday nights, 8 o clock on the WB network.

The WGN Morning News Show

"This park can't contain me," said Nicholas Brendon as he swung away in Comisky
Park. Of course, he was only one of a few people on the field and the stands were barren of
the usual Chicago White Sox fans.

Brendon might not have attracted attention in the ball park, but he definitely has won
fans as the awkwardly witty Xander on the hit WB series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

Joanie Lum chatted with Nicholas on The WGN Morning News Show about baseball,
Sarah MichelleGellar and the sardonic Xander.

Originally interested in playing baseball for a living, Brendon says he passed on
America's Pastime because "Hollywood called." While in Chicago, Brendon
visited with WGN sportscasters Chip Caray and Steve Stone at a Cubs game.

What is the most annoying thing about Sarah Michelle Gellar? Well, according to
Nicholas it's her beauty. "It's sinful." says Nicholas, "How can someone be that attractive."

As for Xander, looks like sarcasm will continue to reign on "Buffy." Nicholas is back
next season as thewitty-but-nerdy high school graduate heading out into the real
world. Well, out into the non-high school world of Sunnydale where he will continue to
fight off vampires and demons with Buffy.

Click here to see what Nicky had to say about Sarah Michelle Gellar

Here's a few pic from the interview:
......

Please remember that I'm only a fan and I don't intend to break any law. I just want to create the best site I can.

I dream of Nicky

Welcome to my everything Nicky section.

Menu:

Here's the chat transcript from Nicholas Brendon's chat on 1/14/99 @ AOL's Entertainment Asylum:

Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher: January 15th, 1999

The following is the transcript of Nicholas's appearance on "LIVE with Regis & Kathie Lee" on January 18, 1999. (You can find this transcript and other cool stuff about Nicholas at The Xander-holics site at http://members.aol.com/danilynn27/xander.htm

This is a direct transcription from The Howie Mandel Show. All copyright on the material, belongs to "The Howie Mandel Show".