Updated 2/23/02
MISCELLANEOUS
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Theme from Stargate SG-1
404 kb
Theme from Stargate: The Movie
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Jack: Permission to barge in, sir?
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Jack: Ya think?
SEASON ONE
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CHILDREN OF THE GODS
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General Hammond: Have you ever thought about writing a books about your exploits in the line of duty?
Jack: I've thought about it. But then I'd have to shoot anyone who actually read it. That's a joke, sir. Most of my work from the past ten years was classified.
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Jack: What's this all about, general?
Hammond: You didn't like Daniel Jackson, did you?
Jack: Daniel was a scientist. He sneezed a lot. Basically, he was a geek, sir.
Colonel Samuels: So you didn't have a lot of time for him.
Jack: I didn't say that. He also saved my men and me. Little thing like that kind of makes a person grow on you, know what I mean?
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Sam: Colonel, I logged over a hundred hours in enemy air space during the Gulf War. Is that tough enough for you?
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Daniel: I don't pretend to know anything about astro-physics, but couldn't the planets change, uh, drift apart or something to throw this map off.
Sam: I knew I'd like you.
Daniel: You mean I'm right?
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ENIGMA
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Jack: General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this man.
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General Hammond: Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.
WITHIN THE SERPENT'S GRASP
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Daniel: Teal'c what is this?
Teal'c: It is a Goa'uld long-range communications device. Somewhat like your televison, only much more advanced.
Jack: Think it gets Showtime?
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SEASON TWO
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THE SERPENT'S LAIR
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Jack: Well, I suppose now is the time for me to say something profound. Nothing comes to mind. Let's do it.
NEED
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Jack: We had a nice time, sir. Carter picked up some naquada, Teal'c made some new friends as usual, Daniel got engaged, and, uh...I'm gonna hit the showers.
THE FIFTH RACE
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Jack: Well, this was an intergalactic waste of time.
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Jack: Teal'c looked. I looked. It grabbed my head. I passed out. I came to. We're here. We're home. Can we go?
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Jack: I am absolutely fine, there's nothing crovis with me! What?
Daniel: You just said that there's nothing 'crovis' with you.
Jack: I did not.
Daniel: Yes, you did.
Jack: No, I didn't.
Daniel: Yes, you did.
Jack: Didn't.
Daniel: Did.
Jack: Didn't.
Daniel: Did.
Jack: Crovis? What is that?
Daniel: I don't know.
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Jack: I did not.
Daniel: Yes, you did.
Jack: No, I didn't.
Daniel: Yes, you did.
Jack: Didn't.
Daniel: Did.
Jack: Didn't.
Daniel: Did.
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Jack: Alright, what the hell is wrong with me?
Daniel: What do you mean?
Jack: Well, apparently, I have lost the phalatis to speak properly. That wasn't a joke. I didn't do that on purpose.
SERPENT'S SONG
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Daniel: The only thing I'm worried about is...
Tech: Incoming wormhole established.
Daniel: ...Sokar can dial in faster than we can dial out.
Jack: Damn.
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ONE FALSE STEP
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Sam: We just can't keep trampelling through the galaxy with no regard for the damage that we can do.
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Jack: Uh-uh-uh, get back. Come on, get back. Fine. Knock yourself out. Go play in the street. Don't forget your sunblock. (to Daniel) Why aren't you helping me?
Daniel: Oh, it's no use. They want to be together.
Jack: Well, we're not going to sit around doing nothing.
Daniel: We're not doing nothing.
Jack: You're videotaping a plant.
Daniel: Well, I think this might be important.
Jack: And I think you might be losing what's left of your mind.
Daniel: What's that supposed to mean?
Jack: It means that on a good day, you can be a little flaky.
Daniel: And on a good day, you can be a little ignorant and condescending.
Jack: Not condescending. You're obvious misreading a basic philosophical difference of opinion on how to handle a crisis.
Daniel: Oh, please! We have a difference of opinion on just about everything.
Jack: Give me an example.
Daniel: I don't know, pick something! How about, how about mythology?
Jack: Rumors, lies, fairy tales.
Daniel: You see? See, see, see, see, see! Mythology is one of the primary basic motivations for cultural development!
Jack: Maybe it is! What's that got to do with filming a plant?
Daniel: Exactly!
Jack: What does that mean?
Daniel: I don't know!
Jack: Okay. What was that.
Daniel: I don't know. I don't feel so good.
Jack: I've got a headache.
Daniel: Maybe we're getting what they have.
SHOW AND TELL
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Selmak: It is an honor to once again return to your planet, general. What can we do for you?
Hammond: Have you ever heard of something called a Reetou?
Selmak: Yes. Why?
Hammond: We may have one here.
Selmak: Tok'ra, kre. Tok'lan and obelan.
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1969
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Sam: Almost there, sir. This time of year, the direct line between P2X-555 takes us withing 70,000 miles of the sun. I have to update the computer's drift calculations to include gravitational space-time warping.
Jack: We know that.
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Jack: Well, unless we've re-decorated the gateroom, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
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Sam: I'm fairly certain we've traveled back in time roughly thirty years. For a minute, I think we were in both timeframes simultaneously, which is why the Stargate seemed to be there one minute and was gone the next.
Jack: Little bump in the calculations, Captain?
OUT OF MIND
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Daniel: I don't understand. Who would have spent enough time at the base to be able to reproduce it in this kind of detail? You don't think Apophis...
Hathor: Silence!
Jack: Oh, I was so hoping never to see you again.
SEASON THREE
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INTO THE FIRE
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Hathor: How may we contact the Asgard so that we might align with their forces?
Jack: Try Roswell, a little place in New Mexico.
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Hathor: What is the sequence of numbers necessary to open the barricade protecting your Stargate?
SEASON FOUR
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DIVIDE AND CONQUER
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Daniel: Yep, I think these are definitely the Jack O'Neill moments I'll probably miss the most.
THE LIGHT
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Teal'c: I am 101 years of age.
Boy: Uh...you don't look that old.
Teal'c: So I have been told.
So when do you turn 102?
Teal'c: In 47 days.
ENTITY
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Janet: I'd to run a few tests on you.
Sam: After I do some scans...
Janet: Now, Sam.
Jack: Do what the doctor says, major.
Sam: Yes, sir.
Janet: Thank you, colonel. You, Daniel, and Teal'c are next.
Daniel: What? I feel fine.
Janet: I would like to be the judge of that. Report to the infirmary ASAP.
Jack: Who put her in charge?
Hammond: The US Air Force.
Teal'c: In medical matters, Dr. Frasier has the authority to overrule her commanding officers.
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Greenburg, Stargate(II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Products. Any copyright
infringements were not intended. This site was created for entertainment and not for profit.
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