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She Comes to Me

The Day From Hell or Cordelia The Hero?


A Tribute:
To what the shows used to be and to a Cordelia I used to like and respect (mostly) before she became the goody-goody demon she is now. A different view, but it's all in fun.
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“Okay, whatever that was next time you had better warn me!” Cordelia Chase mumbled as she stood.

Her head was pounding and everything hurt. Her eyes were bleary and refused to focus for several precious moments and for a second there she thought she was seeing double. A weird double like things were colliding into and onto each other and around each other, overlapping and making no sense whatsoever but then everything evened out and came into focus.

That didn’t stop the pain but it did make for better seeing and she wasn't blind, which was about the only thing she could say about her situation. 

Where the hell was the rest of the gang? Weird. Maybe she was out for longer than she thought and they left her to rest, not wanting to disturb her or anything. Which made sense, but there was something off about the whole situation, though what it was she couldn’t quite place.

“Hey, guys.” Cordy said as she walked several slow and moderately painful steps towards the main counter in the hotel lobby. The hotel lobby that looked different than she remembered but it may have been the spell. Willow's spells were notoriously wonky.

A short anorexia thin woman – girl? – chirped at the sight of her. “Cordy, feeling better?”

“Uh, yeah…” she trailed off, unsure of what was going on but everyone else seemed to be familiar so she let it go. For now at least, maybe once the pain subsided, but not until then.

Angel smiled at her and for a second she found herself smiling back. Here at least hadn’t changed, he was still Angel, familiar and solid and smiling at her…why was he smiling at her? Hell, why was he smiling at all? Why was he even down here in the lobby?

Turning around to make sure that, yes, it was indeed her he was smiling at Cordelia looked at the rest of the diminished group. They saw nothing out of the ordinary with this scene.

Since when did Angel smile like that and since when was a full-fledged sexy – was that sexy? What on earth was happening here? No, it was more a shy smile, like he wanted something but was afraid. Which was weird as Angel was rarely afraid, though these last few days had been trying on all of them and Cordy could certainly understand.... But why was that smile directed at her?

“Oh my GOD!” She suddenly yelled, causing everyone to leap back a step in surprise. “Are you evil again?” That was the only thing that she could think of that would cause him to smile like that when there was only that strange girl, Gunn, her, and him in the room. Had he finally lost it and killed everyone else?

“Evil?” And the look he gave her was confused enough to cause her to rethink that rather abrupt assumption. “No, I’m not evil,” he said with some exasperation as though he had been asked that question before and didn’t like it any better now than he had then. But there was still some confusion in his voice. “Cordy, are you okay?”

“Not evil?” She asked looking at the girl whose name Cordelia really wished she knew. At the negative headshake Cordy looked to Gunn who shook his head no, too, both looking mighty confused then back to Angel who looked torn between confusion and concern. Well, those were two emotions she never associated with Angelus so maybe…

“What’s going on in here?” Wesley asked as he walked through the front doors, a strange teenager behind him.

“Cordy thinks Angel’s evil again.” That strange girl said and her annoyingly chirpy voice was beginning to give Cordy a headache. Of course, her head hadn’t stopped pounding in the first place so maybe that really was moot…

“No,” Cordy felt the need to defend herself hastily, even as she ignored the newcomers in favor in this bizarre situation, barely resisting the urge to run to them, “Not really. I was just thrown. He was smiling,” she added as if that would explain everything. It wasn’t that she hadn’t seen Angel smile before, of course she had. Everyone had, Angel was a much happier vampire nowadays, but…

But it was weird, this smile; very un-Angel like.

She could have sworn she saw his molars.

When no one saw anything wrong with that Cordy finished. “At me…” Still no recognition. “And he’s down here in the middle of the day, talking with people, almost what one would call socializing and not brooding or planning. And why the hell aren’t you planning…?”

Still nothing; they looked at her as if she were the one who was somehow wrong. “Okay…” Cordy said, trying again, scrambling for an explanation,  “Possessed by demonic influences maybe?”

“Cordy, are you sure you’re okay? Maybe you should sit down,” that girl spoke again and tried to lead Cordelia to the red circular couch in the middle of the lobby.

“Who the hell are you?” Cordelia demanded as she shook her arm free and stood her ground.

This got everyone’s attention and all movement stopped.

“Fred,” she said, concern leaking through that one word. “Remember? I know you just got your memory back and all but…Pylea, we were slaves, Angel rescued me from death and then you from the castle and there was this big fight and revolution and we returned here.”

Not seeing any recognition on her face Wesley took this opportunity to step forward. “Cordelia, are you sure you’re okay?” She didn’t look well and frankly, he was beginning to worry. “Maybe you're just feeling the aftereffects of your memory return.”

“Am I in hell?” Those were the first words that came to her mind though she had no idea why. Had the spell gone wrong? Well, obviously, but how wrong was the question. What was going on here?

Angel stepped forward again, looking concerned and intrigued at her questions at the same time, “Why do you say that?”

“Hello! Look at you!” She said pointing at him as she did so. This was really freaking her out, more so with every word out of someone’s mouth. “I have no idea who this girl is,” she turned her attention to ‘Fred’ for a moment, “Though she seems to know me and all you pretty well. And you’re smiling,” Whirling back to Angel who was no longer smiling.

“It’s scary. You aren’t supposed to smile that much, ‘Mr. Guilt Complex even though I’ve made more amends than is probably needed’ at least not in this company and certainly not at a time like this.” She was still pointing stridently at him. “And what’s with the shirt?”

“What’s wrong with the shirt?” Fred wanted to know as Gunn, Wes, and that strange boy watched in awed silence.

Cordelia turned back to her. “Hello!” She said again, her voice rising in agitation. “It’s blue! And light blue at that! Angel doesn’t wear blue, it’s-it’s…it’s just plain scary and wrong and against all laws of God and man and so not him.” Oh, God, did Buffy buy that for him? Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything…

“You bought me this shirt,” he said with no inflection in his voice. Truthfully, he didn’t really like it himself but his friend had bought it for him so he felt obligated to wear it.

“I most certainly did not!” Cordy shuddered at the image before her, forgetting that she had just thought that maybe she should have not commented on it. “I have much better taste than that, thank you very much. God, what’s wrong with you people? Where’s everyone else? This is freaky. The next thing you know you’ll say you went to some film festival and enjoyed yourself. And where is everyone else?” She felt the insane need to stomp her foot but resisted the impulse, though barely.

Fred, still trying to make things better, said, “You mean like Charlton Hesston?” At her friend’s look of sheer shock Fred hastily added, “He met him…”

“When the hell did you meet so many damn people?” It was rhetorical and they all knew it. But Cordy wasn’t finished; this last bit of too strange information was too much. “In between the broody woe is me I have a soul and meeting Buffy?”

At the mention of the slayer’s name Angel sucked in a sharp breath, the mask that had been such a part of him falling back into place so easily. Ironically, Cordy was relieved to see it; this whole open book I’m smiling act was beyond freaky.

“Cordelia!” Wesley scolded, shocked, but not knowing what else to say. The blonde’s name hadn’t been mentioned – aloud – in over a year.

Suddenly exhausted, Cordy flopped on the couch, not missing the large and slightly faded pentagram on the floor. What…? Never mind, she didn’t want to know, not really. Turning to Wesley she asked, her voice strained, her eyes pleading, “Baby, could you get me a drink?”

Wes blinked once, but didn’t move, couldn’t move actually. Gunn, smirking at everything had decided to just go with the flow and see where it led, laughed and walked into the small kitchen to find a bottle of water. Returning with the bottle, he handed it to the seer and settled back onto the counter to watch the show.

This should be interesting.

“Okay,” Cordy said, trying very hard to keep herself in control, keep the tears at bay. They were missing people but the ones that were here would have to do. She needed answers and she needed them now or she wouldn’t be responsible for her actions.

“Tell me, from the beginning, no, wait,” she quickly amended, pointing a finger at Fred as she saw the girl take a deep breath to do just that. Cordy knew that Fred’s explanation was going to be hugely long-winded. “Just tell me…what’s going on? Why am I buying Angel clothes – was it for Christmas at least?” She wondered, hopefully but didn’t wait for anyone to answer, “Where’s the rest of the gang, why is Wes looking like a gaping fish and why is Angel smiling?” She still hadn’t gotten over that one.

And Angel hadn’t said much of anything in a long time.

Fred, naturally, began. “You bought Angel that shirt because you thought he needed to start wearing lighter colors, stop brooding so much. You and he have Kye-rumption.” She said this last as if it were a given and Cordelia should just know, end of story.

“Kye-what? What on earth is that? Is it some mystical thing, a demon, or the new disease of the week or something? Oh God!” She said, a horrible thought occurring to her. “It is! And I have it, don’t I? Am I going to die?”

Fred looked at her funny, shooting Gunn an irate look when he began laughing loudly. “No, Cordy, it means that you and he are destined to be together.”

Cordelia paled so much that Fred thought she was going to faint. Angel looked completely uncomfortable though at the thought of them together or at the way Fred had announced it Cordy wasn’t sure, and Gunn was still smirking, apparently enjoying himself immensely. Wes hadn’t moved a muscle since Cordy had called him ‘baby’ and that kid was standing there trying to look about as ‘Rebel Without A Cause’ as he could.

“Together? Angel and I?” She started to laugh; she just couldn’t help it. Great loud guffaws came out of the would-be actress as she thought about what Fred had said. “We,” she gasped, “He and I,” her hand waved between Angel and herself, “Are destined to be together?” The laughing continued though it was turning slightly hysterical. “God, he’s like my brother! You people are sick, sick creatures…”

Wiping her eyes after several long minutes, Cordy tried to pull herself together and asked, still laughing, “Good lord, what else?”

This was too much and when Fred had uttered those words she knew, she just knew (though that was obvious from the beginning as far as she was concerned) that something had gone wrong with the spell and this was the result.

The horrible result if this was any indication.

“Uh…” Fred began, uncomfortable now, “Connor is living here now.”

“Connor? Who’s Connor?” She asked, looking around the room. That name sounded familiar...

“My son,” Angel said, pain and regret and love and hope in his voice.

“Son? You have a son? What about that whole I’m a vampire and I can’t have children thing? You finally find way around it? Of course, with the way you guys go at it I’m not surprised,” she mumbled, smirking at him. “Oh, wait, that’s right, you do…why had I forgotten that?” Her breath hitched and Cordy thought that, for the first time in her life, she was going to have a panic attack. “Of course, Angel has a son…what’s wrong with me?” This place was seriously beginning to affect her that was for sure, if she forgot something like that.

And then a horrible thought occurred to her.

Things were beginning to sink in, like the fact that several key members of their group were nowhere to be found and didn’t seem to be showing up anytime soon. And that there was this strange girl here telling a story she obviously knew. And that kid over there was still standing as if he expected an attack any minute not from the outside but from in here.

“W-w-who…” She paused, cleared her throat, “Who’s his mother?”

“Darla,” Wes said, speaking up for the first time in long minutes, stealing a glance at Connor.

“Darla?” Cordy blinked, catching Wes’ look and focused on the boy who had yet to say a word. Who the hell was Darla? Wait, wait...DARLA? They thought Darla was his mother? Just how blind are they? “As in my evil Sire whom I staked several years ago to protect the love of my life Darla?”

Angel nodded pain again in his eyes. And horrible as it sounded, Cordy was relieved; at least he looked like Angel again. Sure, in the past few years he had made great strides, but Angel still felt incredibly guilty for things he had done in the past and would never, no matter what anyone did or said, get completely over that. And if...if he wasn’t with...then...

She blinked slowly at him, and stood.

“I need to make a call.”

Walking to the phone sitting on the counter, she ignored Gunn – still smirking – who didn’t seem to be moving any time soon anyway, and dialed. After three rings a voice answered and thankfully it was one she recognized.

“Dawn,” she said with relief, “Hey, it’s Cordy, I need to speak with Willow, it’s kind of majorly important.”

She could tell that Dawn was confused and not a little upset, but ignored it as the girl went to find her friend. She also ignored everyone else in the room whom she could tell were boring holes into her back.

“Cordy?” Willow came on the phone. “Is everything alright? What’s wrong? Is Angel okay?”

“Fine, Willow, no really, not fine, but Angel’s fine, don’t worry. And so am I, well, no that’s a lie, but…Willow, I need your help. Actually, I need you to get the gang together and come to LA. I think there’s something wrong here…”

It took Cordy another ten minutes, with Gunn listening in, to convince Willow that this was for the best and that the world was not ending, though that did remain to be seen, and that desperation was the word of the hour.

“Spike?! What about him? Whatever,” she continued over anything Willow might have said to that question. “Just bring whoever is there and make it snappy, this is really, really wrong.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Two hours and twenty-five minutes later Cordelia was still sitting on that horrible red couch, arms folded, foot still tapping, and a look of profound aggravation on her face. No one had approached her since her call to Willow, and though Fred had tried to explain things more, from across the lobby, Cordy had looked at her and told her as politely as she could manage that she really didn’t want to hear it.

Connor was braver than the rest and finally approached her just past the two-hour mark.

“What did you mean about Darla?” He sounded scared to Cordy who was having serious problems reconciling the young man before her with the boy she knew. This one put on a good front but she saw right through it and wondered how everyone else couldn’t. What was going on here that they couldn’t?

“What about her? She was Angel’s Sire, dumped him when he got his soul, ‘Not demon enough’ for her or something, tried to kill Buffy a few years ago but Angel staked Darla to save her. End of story.”

Connor shook his head though her words gave him a comfort he didn’t want to admit to. “No, she was brought back and they conceived me.”

Cordelia had such a look of horror on her face at that that Connor wondered if she was going to start screaming. “Back? Someone had the stupidity to bring her back?” For a minute that’s all Cordy could say until she visibly calmed herself and asked in a heavy voice, “And this is why you think she’s your mother?”

Connor was about to answer when the doors opened and Willow entered, Xander and Dawn following her, Spike walking in a moment later, blanket thrown over him to protect him as much as possible from the effects of the setting sun, looking guilty and…guilty? That was enough for Cordy to decide to ignore the fact that he was there at all. A moment after that Giles entered with two younger girls Cordy didn’t know and finally, finally, Buffy.

“Buffy!” Cordy shouted in joy and surprise as she jumped up, springing past Giles whom she did throw a grateful and warm smile at and wrapped her arms around the slayer. Needless to say, everyone was taken aback at her actions.

Patting her back gingerly Buffy forced a smile, “Uh, nice to see you, too, Cordy.”

“You’re alive! And safe! And here! And safe!” Cordelia stopped herself, pulling back and looking at the shorter woman. “But you have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”

Buffy just looked at her with eyes that were too old, had seen too much, and slowly shook her head, “Uh, no, not really. Willow said it was an emergency though,” she trailed off, hoping someone would tell her well…something.

Cordy looked back at Angel who had yet to make a move forward and was simply staring at Buffy in quiet longing and amazement and love. Kye-rumption my ass, she thought with a smirk at Fred who just stared at the newcomers.

“Okay, now that everyone’s here…not everyone’s here. Where’s…” Did she want to ask this? No, probably not. But she did anyway. Heaving a great sigh for there had to be a dreadful explanation for her absence, “Where’s Faith?” Tara was missing, too, but something in Willow’s body language prevented her from asking after the witch’s lover.

Buffy stiffened and Angel looked uncomfortable at her question. Willow, Xander, and Wesley scowled and Giles looked like he wanted to seriously hurt someone. Spike laughed and Dawn looked ready to kill, either him or Faith, Cordy couldn’t tell, but she just knew this was bad.

“Never mind, you know what? I don’t want to know.” Standing in front of the room, commanding attention as she did so for she looked younger, somehow, more confident than they were used to, and began. “I’m only saying this once so pay attention.

“I haven’t figured everything out, but something here is seriously screwed up. First of all, Spike why are you here? Hello, evil monster in our presence. And where’s Drusilla? Shouldn’t you two be someplace in South America wreaking havoc on the unsuspecting populace? And Darla? What’s that about? No one brought her back, as for her being Connor’s mother, Angel that’s just ridiculous; wake up and look at the genes.”

Buffy sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes – which hadn’t strayed from Angel – now focusing on the boy who suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Mother? Child?” Her voice was barely a whisper but carried perfectly over the silence that blanketed the room.

Turning her head to glare at her friend Cordelia hissed, “You didn’t tell her?”

Holding up a hand to forestall any further outburst, Cordelia turned to Giles and Willow. “Okay, shortened version. New big bad in town, serious bad, Buffy’s missing and we have no idea what took her or where to even begin to look; Willow and Tara did a spell, digging into my mind to see if The Powers left any clues there and when I came to I landed here.

“Here, might I say, where everything is seriously screwed up and I don’t even want to know most of it, I’m sure. What are you guys doing in Sunnydale, that’s the last place anyone should be, especially you guys when…but since Buffy’s here then never mind.”

Silence descended over the group for several long minutes. Finally Gunn, who had tried to keep as quiet as possible because he was enjoying himself too much asked, “Anyone want some dinner? Looks like we’ll be here a while, might as well have some food.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Giles was looking through the book Cordelia had pointed out to him, the one containing the spell to probe her memory when she approached him.

“Um, Giles, Wes?” It hurt, oh how it hurt that he didn’t seem to feel for her what she did for him. “Can I speak with you two for a moment?”

Setting his book down, Giles nodded and followed her and Wesley into a private office where she closed the door. “What’s going on here? I mean this is so very different from what I know and it’s freaking me out. What happened?”

Giles took a deep breath, pinched the bridge of his nose, taking off his glasses to rub the lenses. Cordelia stifled the urge to laugh, she was sure it’d be hysterical anyway, at the familiar gesture. And braced herself.

What she heard from the two former watchers made her blood run cold. This was too much. Angel leaving, Buffy and Riley? Who the hell was Riley? Oh, wait, she remembered now…not important. Faith in jail, the death of Doyle…well at least that was the same and though it broke her heart all over again to hear of his death, it was something similar. Spike returning, apparently Dru had dumped him…again.

Darla’s resurrection, Angel’s descent into semi-madness, Dawn being the Key – and again that was familiar – but Joyce never died and Dawn was never the brat Giles words but not tone made her to be. Pylea and Fred and someone named Groo and being a princess and Wolfram & Hart…gee, there was a surprise.

Buffy’s death – and again that was the same – but not the reasons or the way she was brought back to life or where she was…heaven. And again with the Spike, no there was no more Spike, Cordy wanted to scream at them. Connor’s mysterious birth…she wanted to tell them just how unmysterious it was but couldn’t form words at the moment. Giles’ leaving…like that would ever happen, Holtz…who the hell was Holtz? Again, unimportant, she decided, as they weren’t finished. Willow’s addiction to magick, Tara’s death, Angel’s swim in the ocean at the hands of his son.

Her time as a higher being…while partly true, they were missing some key events here. Spike with a soul. Spike with a soul? What? Now she knew she was in hell. There was no other answer for it. Watcher’s Council exploding, slayers-in-training here, manifestations all over the place…

“Oh,” she said, finally, trying to digest everything. Or, at least, everything they had told her. There wasn’t much on the personal relationship front but Cordy knew that therein lay the root of this problem.

Giles handed her a glass of amber liquid, which she gulped thankfully, ignoring the fire that burned through her. He was worried about her, as his and Wes’ stories progressed he noted her getting paler as her mouth dropped open in shock and she started to shake.

“This is all wrong, seriously wrong. Seriously, seriously, wrong. Nothing like this happened at all. Well, some, maybe, but… Angel left, true, but and Spike? Never returned, let alone got a soul. God, that’s just wrong…and Buffy? God, no wonder she looks so haunted.”

Wes laid a hand on her shoulder, still curious as to why she would think they were involved but wanting to comfort the woman he thought of as a friend. “What do you mean, Cordelia?”

So she told them.

Angel had indeed left but after three months apart, Buffy and he had met…through some careful – and brilliant if she did say so herself – planning between her and Willow. “I had come to LA to be an actress, met Angel at some party, called Willow, and we came up with this plan. Worked nicely, too, if I do say so myself. He and Doyle,” her voice broke, but she went on, “Kept helping lost souls, I joined them, but he and Buffy were firmly back together. Oh, there was still the whole soul issue, but Doyle mentioned the Oracles and we; he, Willow, you Giles, and I, went to petition them. They granted our request and made Angel’s soul permanent. Safer all around that way if you ask me, especially the way those two go at it.

“Then Doyle…and you, Wes, came back to town chasing a demon, I forget what it was about. Buffy transferred to UCLA in the spring, Faith came back from Dover, Giles, where you sent her for help when she killed that guy, what’s his name, the mayor’s assistant. She was completely changed, still as tough as ever, mouthy, attitude and all, but there wasn’t that self-destructive tendency. She took over slaying at the Hellmouth with Gunn, but LA and Sunnydale aren’t that far apart, so we all got together occasionally, for those big apocalypses and all. Plus, some serious partying; nothing like saving the world on a weekly basis to make one appreciate life.

“Darla was never resurrected, thank The Powers, Spike still hadn’t returned, Dawn was the Key, but we all knew that because she was literally made from Buffy and Angel, a kind of clone/child thing, very bizarre, the Oracles explained it but I got the second hand account and didn’t understand a lot. Okay, okay,” she shrugged as if caught in a lie though no one said anything, “You two tried to explain it and I glazed over, it was long winded and the final product was the same, so there.

“Joyce never died; she’s still taking care of Dawn, so far as I know, Tara’s still alive and with Willow, Connor is…is NOT Darla’s child. Or childe with an ‘E’ or anything of the sort. Buffy died but we all knew she was going to, she had to in order for her to learn what she needed to learn, it was part of some whole big plan that The Powers had for her, took us slightly longer to find her,” she looked up at the ceiling and muttered, “Damn tricky Powers. But she was in a kind of limbo state with The Powers and the Oracles where she learned what was needed and when we found her soul, she wasn’t…God, she wasn’t wrong, nothing of the sort.

“God, this is so screwed up!” Cordelia wailed, the tears finally breaking free. Curling into herself she rocked back and forth, trying to keep the pain and confusion inside deathly afraid to let it free.

“Connor is Buffy and Angel’s child,” she went on, determined to lay to rest at least that particular rumor. “There was some prophecy and nine months later there was Connor, sweet and innocent, and most definitely not a sulky teenager.” Okay, so it was slightly more complicated than that, but details so didn’t matter at the moment. “But something happened, this latest bad tried to get at Buffy through Connor and it worked, we all fell for it, thought that the prophecy was coming true when we all thought we had years still…it took her and now we have no idea where she is.

“I was a higher being, but certainly never called that, more a messenger of sorts, but only for a short time, there were things we still needed to know and since I was the one with the visions, the Oracles took me. We…we did this spell, trying to retrieve what The Powers buried in my head, but…but something went wrong, I don’t know what happened, but next thing I know I was here, well, I was here for the spell, but that’s not the point, and everything was… different, wrong.”

She didn’t tell them of her and Wes, didn’t tell them that they had all reconciled whatever differences they might have had, that she, Willow, Tara, Faith, and Buffy were something like best friends, that Fred had never been rescued from wherever she had said she was…wait, wasn’t Pylea where Lorne was from? Speaking of, where was the green-skinned demon?

That she and Wes were thinking about having a child and that Gunn was with Faith who was not in jail, that nothing that had happened here ever did there and there was so much better.

There was shouting from the lobby but the trio ignored it. If any one of them had to bet, they’d guess it was Angel and Buffy going at it. They would not have been wrong.

“I think, as is often the case,” Giles said, listening with one ear to Buffy berating Angel for not telling her about Connor and Angel flinging back about her affair with Spike, “That the effects or the words of the spell were either altered or amplified somehow. I’m not exactly sure how to rectify it; it’s a straight-forward spell with no mention of alternate world traveling at all.”

“The Oracles?” Cordy asked hopefully as she smiled gratefully at Wes when he handed her a handkerchief.

“Dead here,” her lover (from someplace else much better, evidently not this nightmare place) told her sadly as they heard Connor ask about Darla and Buffy’s bitter laugh as it floated through the closed door.

“Wait a minute…Spike and Buffy?” Wes looked at Giles smirked, once, the whole idea was simply ludicrous, before controlling his features. She must have been in a really bad place for that affair to have happen. “And he has a soul?” Giles nodded his distaste showing clearly on his face.

“And in your world there is no Spike, or, well, he never returned because Drusilla never dumped him? Well, that second time at least.”

Cordelia nodded her head, her tears finally starting to dry. “What are you getting at, Wes?” She – just – stopped herself from using an endearment instead of his name.

“Let’s rejoin the others,” Giles suggested when there was a sudden dead quiet beyond the closed doors, “Before someone out there dies.”

The three of them walked out, Cordy looking miserably at her friends, or those who looked like her friends. What horrible evil was this?

Angel and Buffy were on opposite sides of the room, brooding, Gunn and Xander were exchanging stories at the counter, ignoring the fighting around them, Spike was sitting alone on the steps, Connor was looking back and forth between Buffy and Angel with Dawn by his side in what looked to be a vain attempt to calm the noticeably upset boy.

Willow was standing by Fred though neither had said a word to each other since Angel and Buffy started going at each other. They looked as if they were on different sides of the who Angel belonged with fence and they probably were.

Giles took one look around the room, his sympathetic gaze resting on Buffy’s stoic one for a moment before turning to Wesley. “You think it’s the same catalyst?”

Wesley nodded; understand what Giles was getting at. It was a watcher thing. “It makes sense, but I don’t know the who or the why.”

“What does?” Angels asked tearing his gaze, hurt of course, but still filled with all the love he refused to admit too, away from Buffy.

“Something’s wrong here!” Cordelia all but shouted, “Haven’t you been listening to me? Pay attention,” she demanded of the room at large and then elaborated, “This is wrong. Just. Plain. Wrong. Everything’s wrong, it’s…hell.”

Buffy shot her a look that told the seer the slayer knew all about that. Damn it, this wasn’t how it was supposed to be, none of it. Okay, sure they all had their share of heartache and pain and problems, but they worked together, all of them, they were a family in every sense of the word.

“Damn it! This isn’t how it’s supposed to be!” Cordelia turned her gaze to the ceiling again, once more yelling at The Powers. “You had better do something to fix this!”

Nothing happened.

Then again, Cordelia was the only one who seemed to think something would.

Buffy, who was still hurting – she doubted this pain would ever go away – flicked her gaze over the room, resting on the two slayers-in-training. She had more important things to deal with than Cordelia’s problems. And whatever that girl, Fred, was babbling about, some soul mate thing between Cordy and Angel…God that hurt.

“Uh, guys, I really hate to break this up, but we have an apocalypse to stop, remember? Mysterious guys running around in cloaks trying to kill everyone, strange manifestations appearing to my friends and family…any of this sound familiar?”

Buffy stopped, frowned. It did sound familiar. But why? Locking eyes with Angel who looked like it sounded familiar to him as well, she thought about what she had just said. They both thought of it at the same time, and said it aloud, voices soft with remembrance and pain, never forgotten love and hope.

“The First Evil…”

Giles looked from Buffy to Angel, the implications sinking in. He remembered the First Evil, remembered that Christmas, Buffy’s fear, Angel’s hopelessness…snow.

“First Evil?” Willow said, stepping forward a bit and coming out of her silence to echo her friend. “Wasn’t that from a few years ago? It…snowed…” Buffy had told her parts of what had happened that Christmas when Willow had commented on the snowfall.

“Snow?” Fred echoed, confused and still unwilling to admit that she was wrong about Angel and Cordelia. “It never snows in Southern California.”

“It did once…” Again, both Buffy and Angel said the words at the same time, echoing softly around the room.

“Oh…oh, oh OH! Of course! That’s what it was!” Cordelia shouted, everything making sense to her now. This was what she was supposed to remember, the First Evil, except worse, somehow. He was working with…something, she couldn’t remember who.

“Skip!” She again yelled to the ceiling. “Skip, get your bronze ass down here! NOW!”

Thirty seconds later the bronze messenger for The Powers That Be appeared, looking around the assembled and startled group. “Wow,” he said, walking to Buffy and bowing stiffly from the waist. “The Slayer, it’s an honor. And The Watcher,” he said, turning to Giles, making it sound like he was the one and only. “Must be my lucky day! Can I get your autograph?” He looked at Cordelia and mumbled, “Maybe later…”

Walking back to Cordelia he said, “So, what’s with the screaming?”

“This is wrong, Skip, it’s all horribly, horribly wrong! And-and the First Evil is involved, and I finally remember what I’m supposed to remember and I know where Buffy is and how to get her back and I need to go like now! So let’s get out of here!”

The group, as a whole, blinked at her. Skip just smiled, albeit confused, but that’s all he did. “There’s nothing wrong here, Cordelia, Buffy’s right over there and you are where you wanted to be, back with your friends and hey! Congratulations on the memory return.”

For a split second, Cordy looked like she wanted to murder the bronzed skinned demon then chop him into tiny bits but instead huffed once, turned back to the ceiling, and shouted again. “Damn it! You know this is wrong and I know you know! Now send me someone who can fix this!!”

Another thirty seconds passed and still no one had uttered so much as a syllable.

“You yelled, kid?” A Brooklyn accented voice asked as a man dressed in the tackiest clothes Cordy had ever seen appeared. Skip nodded once, said something in a language Cordy didn’t understand, and left as quickly as he arrived.

“What are you, the halftime show?” Cordy asked before thinking.

“Whistler?” Angel asked, shock making his voice hoarse.

“Whistler?” Buffy asked, shock making her voice hoarse.

“Great, everyone knows everyone else, that’s peachy; I don’t care.” Cordy said, quite forcefully, her patience wearing thin. She really just wanted to go home. “What’s the deal here? I know this can’t be right.”

“Like this, kid,” he said, ignoring the others in the room for the time. He was so angry at his two ‘warriors’ that he doubted he could form a coherent sentence to either of them if he tried. “The First Evil lost, got mighty pissed, and went back in time to change things. This is the result.”

“Hell,” Cordy stated with conviction.

Whistler didn’t contradict her and that served only to confirm her suspicions. “Basically. Spike here,” he chucked a thumb behind him at the quiet vampire, “Isn’t supposed to be here. Never went back to good old Sunnydale, never got the chip, never fell in love with the slayer, never got his soul…”

“HE HAS A SOUL?!” Angel roared as he whirled to face his Grand-childe. It was bad enough that he and Buffy had fucked for the better part of several months (Angel doubted he’d get over that any time soon), it was bad enough that Spike claimed to ‘love’ her (Angel didn’t believe that for a moment though at the same time he wondered at anyone who didn’t love her) but this?

It was too much, and Angel just couldn’t deal…and his soul was probably permanent.

Ignoring him, Whistler finished. “Messed everything up, the bleached wonder did. Threw off all sorts of things, made a big mess of it all. When the you in that world did the spell, the First intervened. This is the result. Though I’m thinking that he didn’t expect this result, you being thrown here and remembering.”

“I want to go home, Whistler, I need to go home; I have the information now and they need that. I can’t take it here; I don’t LIKE it here! How do I get back?” Cordy was once again near tears as she begged.

“I know, kid, I don’t like it here, either. But it’s not that simple. You can’t do it. Now wait,” he rushed on, seeing another explosion coming from the seer. “That’s not what I meant. I meant that you can’t do it. He has to,” and he pointed at Connor, “Along with Dawn here.”

“It’s a Key thing, isn’t it?” Dawn asked resignation in her voice. But if it meant that none of the last few years had happened…then she’d do it. Lord knew this wasn’t a fun life.

“Yeah,” Whistler admitted, sorrow in his voice for what she had to endure in this world. “Sorry, kid.”

“Whatever, I’ll do it.”

“Connor?” Angel asked, trying not to imagine what his son would have to do in order for Cordelia to find her way back home. A home he was only now beginning to realize was real…okay, so he hadn’t believed her before, what did you expect?

“What about me?” The boy asked, voice flat, glaring at his father for a moment before turning to the weird little guy before him.

“You’re The Destroyer, aren’t you? Conceived from love in an unlikely source, destined to unite the world and rid it of the darkness. See?”

Buffy noticeably paled and stiffened when she heard those words. ‘Conceived from love…’ And the pain kept on coming.

Whistler noted the look of revulsion on the boy’s face then skimmed over the rest of the group. They looked equally nauseated, though Angel looked nauseated and like he wanted to protest Whistler’s words. “What’s going on here?”

“Oh,” Cordelia said with an impatient wave of her hand. “They think that Darla is Connor’s mother.”

“Darla?” Whistler asked, obviously not connecting the name.

“Angel’s long-dead sire…?”

“Oh, right, what gives them that crazy idea?”

“This is hell,” Cordelia reiterated and they both nodded at her statement.

Finding his voice, despite the fact that he was a little unsure if he wanted to know the answer, Connor asked, “Then…then who is my mother?”

For a second Cordy thought she was going to laugh and again was positive it’d be hysterical. She read, just last night, little Connor the Dr. Seuss book, ‘Are You My Mother?’ God, she wanted to go home…

She missed Wes’ arms, Buffy and Faith’s early morning banter, Willow and Tara cuddling at the counter…Angel and Gunn laughing over something and Giles looking on with paternal pride at his children. Hell, she even missed Xander and Anya’s sickening antics…and just where was Anya? Ugh, she hated this place.

Whistler looked at him, then at Angel, perceptibly angered at the vampire’s assumption that Darla was his child’s mother, then at Buffy who looked like she wanted to scream, cry and pound on something until it bled. “Uh, Buffy of course…”

Again with the silence.

Which was abruptly broken when everyone started talking at once.

Cordelia just looked at the people wearing her family’s faces. Man, talk about your pod people! Almost made her wonder what she was like here…almost, but not quite.

Connor looked relieved at not having Darla as his mother and, honestly, who could blame the poor kid? Gunn was still sitting on the counter taking it all in stride; Fred seemed confused and angry…now that anger made no sense. Willow and Xander closely resembled the gaping fish she had earlier compared Wesley to with the bulging eyes and opening and closing mouths.

Wesley looked relieved as well and Giles blinked once before smiling. Dawn smiled as well, though it seemed just as confused as everyone else’s did. Spike snorted with laughter before going back to his silence on the steps. And Buffy…Buffy and Angel looked like they had just received the best present ever…

Cordelia smiled at her friends, knowing that no matter what this hell-world had, this, at least, remained the same. And then everyone talking at once exasperated her headache and made her even more irritable than she was at this whole thing to begin with.

“Quiet!” She screamed, really just wanting to go home. With any luck, if she understood Whistler correctly, this world (which was beyond wrong) wouldn’t exist and she’d go back to hers. Please, oh please, she prayed to any god willing to listen. Please let that be right.

“I really just want to go home, or fix this or whatever, what needs to be done?” Cordelia all but begged the Destiny Demon.

Shrugging Whistler said, “Just need a bit of blood, the witch over there to say some words, a circle of friends, and poof! Everything should be back to normal.”

She didn’t like that ‘should be’ part but was willing to overlook it in favor of the hope he gave her. “Connor?” She asked the boy, God he couldn’t be that old already… “Connor will you help me? Please?”

Connor looked at the woman for long moments, his mind trying to grasp all he had seen and heard today. It was a lot to take in but if there was a chance, even a slim one, that the slayer was his mother and not the vampire…if he really was happy there…

Cordelia, seeing the indecision on his face led him a little ways away from the main group, who had gathered closer to each other at the revelation that Buffy was Connor’s mother.

“I don’t know all the details about what happened to you here, Connor. All I know is that where I’m from, before The First Evil changed the past of course, you were a precious little boy who called me Aunt Cordy and gave me sticky kisses and told me he loved me. Your parents love you very much, too, they love each other very much.”

Shooting a look over her shoulder she added, “Though they do here, too, any fool can see that.”

Focusing her attention back on the young man before her, Cordy continued. “I don’t know who Holtz is, but you can be sure that I’m going to ask Angel about him when I get back. Or things change to the way they were supposed to or…whatever…anyway. Things are better there, you are raised by the people you see here but they’re…better. They love each other and you, there’s not this schism separating us, we’re a family. Wes and Giles tell me that you were raised in some demon-dimension…I swear to you that that never happened and never will happen.”

Connor still hadn’t said anything. To not spend most of his life in that hell dimension? To actually have a father who loved him and not treated him as a means to an end? Yeah, he figured that out about Holtz long ago, but that didn’t stop the loved starved boy from wanting the only father he knew to approve of him. And a mother…the small blonde woman who was even now looking at him with longing.

“Okay…” He found himself saying, his heart, for the first time in years, opening to what it had always wanted. Love, acceptance, hope, family.

Throwing her arms around the boy, almost knocking him off balance with her enthusiasm, Cordy said, “Thank you! Oh, thank you so much!”
~~~~~~~~~~
It took an hour for everything to be set up, Gunn and Giles ran out to the closest magick store for some supplies Angel didn’t have and then everything was set.

“Please, oh please let this work!” Cordy whispered again, praying one last time before she entered the circle of her friends, all joining hands; Buffy and Angel stood next to each other and the second their hands touched it was as if nothing between them had changed. And finally, Willow began.

The witch was understandably nervous about performing this spell – Giles had told Cordy about the almost ending the world bit and the seer found that so hard to believe it was almost funny – but Willow was doing this in the hopes that everything would be put to rights.

“Let this which is not be completed, Let It who shall never win be defeated. From the Blood of The Destroyer of Evil and the Blood from The Key of Life let things be put to right!”

At first nothing happened then all of a sudden a silver-white glow formed around Cordelia, encircling her, raising her several feet off the ground. Suddenly she was gone from the circle and the group only had a few moments to look at each other, wondering what had happened and what would happen now…

… “Cordy! Baby, wake up.”

Cordelia Chase opened her eyes to see a pair of familiar and concerned ones looking down at her. “Wes?”

“Yeah, baby, it’s me.”

“Wes!” She threw her arms around her lover, crying her happiness out. “Oh, God, that was the worst dream ever! It was a nightmare more like it. Everything was so screwed up and Buffy and Angel, Connor, God, you acted like you didn’t even know me! The whole day was horrible, Willow tried to destroy the world and there was this strange girl with Gunn and Tara was dead and Spike was there with a soul and Faith wasn’t anywhere to be found and-and-and…”

She clung to her lover, willing those horrible images away, it was worse than anything they had ever faced and she didn’t want to remember any of it.

Lorne looked at the seer, sympathy in his voice, “Uh, Cordy, babe? That really happened.”

Cordy stilled, pulled away from Wes and looked at Lorne. “What?”

“You really did leave us for a moment or two, looks like whatever it is we’re after changed time, made things so that it’d win this time around. Went into the past, changed something, and played everything so it’d win.”

“Spike,” Cordy said with conviction. Okay, so the chances of the vampire actually being the catalyst of that hellish place were slim, but he just so wasn’t supposed to be there!  “Spike came back because Drusilla dumped him again and got some chip thingy in his head then fell in love with Buffy and got a soul and-and it had to be that!”

Wesley just looked at her, wondering what it was she was talking about. Seeing the look, worried and loving, Cordy smiled back bringing his lips to hers…she had missed that in the horrible day she had been away from him.

“I’ll explain everything later, but right now I know what we’re up against and where Buffy is. Let’s get her back and then we’ll talk.”

Wes nodded; helping her to stand as the rest of her friends…her family watched her, worried looks on all their faces. Wes, Gunn and Faith, Willow and Tara, Giles, Dawn, Joyce, Lorne, Xander and Anya, and Angel with his son, his and Buffy’s…God, to think that other Pod-Angel thought that Darla was sweet Connor’s mother. Talk about your nightmares…

Connor chose at that moment to run up to her, flinging his little chubby arms around her legs.

“Aunt Cordy!” He shouted, making his aunt smile. He had missed her, she was gone so long…

“Hey ya, precious, miss me?” She had certainly missed him.

“Love you, Aunt Cordy!”

“Love you, too, Connor,” she told the boy as Angel took him away; the vampire was extremely overprotective of his son, even more so now with his mother missing, and wasn’t taking any chances. Once the child was safely on his way back to his new magickally protected room, Cordy looked at the people surrounding her. “Okay, let’s get started, I know…sort of, where Buffy is. And the thing we’re up against? It’s called The First Evil.”

There were the appropriate gasps of shock, murmurs of what it had done the last time it had surfaced. But Cordelia knew that they’d win. She knew that because they already had and she wasn’t going to be the one to fuck it up this time around. She knew because she knew her family.

Angel walked back into the room, looking tired and apprehensive, exhaustion clear in every movement of his body. He missed his other half, he missed Buffy and it was taking a toll on him, both physically and mentally. “We’ll get her back, Angel, trust me.”

He smiled at her, nodding. He would do anything and everything to get his love back, had done so much already. He could feel her, but couldn’t find her. She was okay, hurt, but alive. He would get her back, no matter the price.

Cordy intertwined her fingers with Wes’, taking strength from him as much as giving it back. They were going to do this and win because this is what they did.

And that was all there was to it.

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