A Tribute:
To what the shows used to be and to a Cordelia I used to like and
respect (mostly) before she became the goody-goody demon she is now. A different
view, but it's all in fun.
*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*
“Okay,
whatever that was next time you had better warn me!” Cordelia Chase mumbled as
she stood.
Her
head was pounding and everything hurt. Her eyes were bleary and refused to focus
for several precious moments and for a second there she thought she was seeing
double. A weird double like things were colliding into and onto each other and
around each other,
overlapping and making no sense whatsoever but then everything evened out and
came into focus.
That
didn’t stop the pain but it did make for better seeing and she wasn't blind, which was about the
only thing she could say about her situation.
Where
the hell was the rest of the gang? Weird. Maybe she was out for longer than she
thought and they left her to rest, not wanting to disturb her or anything. Which
made sense, but there was something off about the whole situation, though what
it was she couldn’t quite place.
“Hey,
guys.” Cordy said as she walked several slow and moderately painful steps
towards the main counter in the hotel lobby. The hotel lobby that looked
different than she remembered but it may have been the spell.
A
short anorexia thin woman – girl? – chirped at the sight of her. “Cordy,
feeling better?”
“Uh,
yeah…” she trailed off, unsure of what was going on but everyone else seemed
to be familiar so she let it go. For now at least, maybe once the pain subsided,
but not until then.
Angel
smiled at her and for a second she found herself smiling back. Here at least
hadn’t changed, he was still Angel, familiar and solid and smiling at
her…why was he smiling at her?
Turning
around to make sure that, yes, it was indeed her he was smiling at Cordelia
looked at the rest of the diminished group. They saw nothing out of the ordinary
with this scene.
Since
when did Angel smile like that and since when was a full-fledged sexy – was
that sexy? What on earth was happening here? No, it was more a shy smile, like
he wanted something but was afraid. Which was weird as Angel was rarely afraid,
though these last few days had been trying on all of them and Cordy could
certainly understand.... But why was that
smile directed at her?
“Oh
my GOD!” She suddenly yelled, causing everyone to leap back a step in
surprise. “Are you
evil again?” That was the only thing that she could think of that would cause
him to smile like that when there was only that strange girl, Gunn, her, and him
in the room. Had he finally lost it and killed everyone else?
“Evil?”
And the look he gave her was confused enough to cause her to rethink that rather
abrupt assumption. “No, I’m not evil,” he said with some exasperation as though
he had been asked that question before and didn’t like it any better now than
he had then. But there was still some confusion in his voice. “Cordy, are you okay?”
“Not
evil?” She asked looking at the girl whose name Cordelia really wished she
knew. At the negative headshake Cordy looked to Gunn who shook his head no, too,
both looking mighty confused then back to Angel who looked torn between confusion and concern. Well, those
were two emotions she never associated with Angelus so maybe…
“What’s
going on in here?” Wesley asked as he walked through the front doors, a
strange teenager behind him.
“Cordy
thinks Angel’s evil again.” That strange girl said and her annoyingly chirpy
voice was beginning to give Cordy a headache. Of course, her head hadn’t
stopped pounding in the first place so maybe that really was moot…
“No,”
Cordy felt the need to defend herself hastily, even as she ignored the newcomers
in favor in this bizarre situation, barely resisting the urge to run to them,
“Not really. I was just thrown. He was smiling,” she added as if that would
explain everything. It wasn’t that she hadn’t seen Angel smile before, of
course she had. Everyone had, Angel was a much happier vampire nowadays, but…
But
it was weird, this smile; very un-Angel like.
She
could have sworn she saw his molars.
When
no one saw anything wrong with that Cordy finished. “At me…” Still no
recognition. “And he’s down here in the middle of the day, talking with
people, almost what one would call socializing and not brooding or planning. And
why the hell aren’t you planning…?”
Still
nothing; they looked at her as if she were the one who was somehow wrong.
“Okay…” Cordy said, trying again, scrambling for an explanation, “Possessed by demonic influences
maybe?”
“Cordy,
are you sure you’re okay? Maybe you should sit down,” that girl spoke again
and tried to lead Cordelia to the red circular couch in the middle of the lobby.
“Who
the hell are you?” Cordelia demanded as she shook her arm free and stood her
ground.
This
got everyone’s attention and all movement stopped.
“Fred,”
she said, concern leaking through that one word. “Remember? I know you just
got your memory back and all but…Pylea, we were slaves, Angel rescued me from
death and then you from the castle and there was this big fight and revolution
and we returned here.”
Not
seeing any recognition on her face Wesley took this opportunity to step forward.
“Cordelia, are you sure you’re okay?” She didn’t look well and frankly,
he was beginning to worry.
“Am
I in hell?” Those were the first words that came to her mind though she had no
idea why. Had the spell gone wrong? Well, obviously, but how wrong was the
question. What was going on here?
Angel
stepped forward again, looking concerned and intrigued at her questions at the
same time, “Why do you say that?”
“Hello!
Look at you!” She said pointing at him as she did so. This was really freaking
her out, more so with every word out of someone’s mouth. “I have no idea who
this girl is,” she turned her attention to ‘Fred’ for a moment, “Though
she seems to know me and all you pretty well. And you’re smiling,” Whirling
back to Angel who was no longer smiling.
“It’s
scary. You aren’t supposed to smile that much, ‘Mr. Guilt Complex even
though I’ve made more amends than is probably needed’ at least not in this
company and certainly not at a time like this.” She was still pointing
stridently at him. “And what’s with the shirt?”
“What’s
wrong with the shirt?” Fred wanted to know as Gunn, Wes, and that strange boy
watched in awed silence.
Cordelia
turned back to her. “Hello!” She said again, her voice rising in agitation.
“It’s blue! And light blue at that! Angel doesn’t wear blue,
it’s-it’s…it’s just plain scary and wrong and against all laws of God
and man and so not him.” Oh, God, did Buffy
buy that for him? Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything…
“You
bought me this shirt,” he said with no inflection in his voice. Truthfully, he
didn’t really like it himself but his friend had bought it for him so he felt
obligated to wear it.
“I
most certainly did not!” Cordy shuddered at the image before her, forgetting
that she had just thought that maybe she should have not commented on it. “I
have much better taste than that, thank you very much. God, what’s wrong with
you people? Where’s everyone else? This is freaky. The next thing you know
you’ll say you went to some film festival and enjoyed yourself. And where
is everyone else?” She felt the insane need to stomp her foot but resisted
the impulse, though barely.
Fred,
still trying to make things better, said, “You mean like Charlton Hesston?”
At her friend’s look of sheer shock Fred hastily added, “He met him…”
“When
the hell did you meet so many damn people?” It was rhetorical and they all
knew it. But Cordy wasn’t finished; this last bit of too strange information
was too much. “In between the broody woe is me I have a soul and meeting
Buffy?”
At
the mention of the slayer’s name Angel sucked in a sharp breath, the mask that
had been such a part of him falling back into place so easily. Ironically, Cordy
was relieved to see it; this whole open book I’m smiling act was beyond
freaky.
“Cordelia!”
Wesley scolded, shocked, but not knowing what else to say. The blonde’s name
hadn’t been mentioned – aloud – in over a year.
Suddenly
exhausted, Cordy flopped on the couch, not missing the large and slightly faded
pentagram on the floor. What…? Never mind, she didn’t want to know, not
really. Turning to Wesley she asked, her voice strained, her eyes pleading,
“Baby, could you get me a drink?”
Wes
blinked once, but didn’t move, couldn’t
move actually. Gunn, smirking at everything had decided to
just go with the flow and see where it led, laughed and walked into the small
kitchen to find a bottle of water. Returning with the bottle, he handed it to
the seer and settled back onto the counter to watch the show.
This
should be interesting.
“Okay,”
Cordy said, trying very hard to keep herself in control, keep the tears at bay.
They were missing people but the ones that were here would have to do. She
needed answers and she needed them now or she wouldn’t be responsible for her
actions.
“Tell
me, from the beginning, no, wait,” she quickly amended, pointing a finger at
Fred as she saw the girl take a deep breath to do just that. Cordy knew that
Fred’s explanation was going to be hugely long-winded. “Just tell me…what’s going
on? Why am I buying Angel clothes – was it for Christmas at least?” She
wondered, hopefully but didn’t wait for anyone to answer, “Where’s the
rest of the gang, why is Wes looking like a gaping fish and why is Angel smiling?”
She still hadn’t gotten over that one.
And
Angel hadn’t said much of anything in a long time.
Fred,
naturally, began. “You bought Angel that shirt because you thought he needed
to start wearing lighter colors, stop brooding so much. You and he have
Kye-rumption.” She said this last as if it were a given and Cordelia should
just know, end of story.
“Kye-what?
What on earth is that? Is it some mystical thing, a demon, or the new disease of
the week or something? Oh God!” She said, a horrible thought occurring to her.
“It is! And I have it, don’t I? Am I going to die?”
Fred
looked at her funny, shooting Gunn an irate look when he began laughing loudly. “No, Cordy,
it means that you and he are destined to be together.”
Cordelia
paled so much that Fred thought she was going to faint. Angel looked completely
uncomfortable though at the thought of them together or at the way Fred had
announced it Cordy wasn’t sure, and Gunn was still smirking, apparently
enjoying himself immensely. Wes hadn’t moved a muscle since Cordy had called
him ‘baby’ and that kid was standing there trying to look about as ‘Rebel
Without A Cause’ as he could.
“Together?
Angel and I?” She started to laugh; she just couldn’t help it. Great loud
guffaws came out of the would-be actress as she thought about what Fred had
said. “We,” she gasped, “He and I,” her hand waved between Angel and
herself, “Are destined to be together?” The laughing continued though it was
turning slightly hysterical. “God, he’s like my brother! You people
are sick, sick creatures…”
Wiping
her eyes after several long minutes, Cordy tried to pull herself together and asked, still laughing, “Good lord,
what else?”
This
was too much and when Fred had uttered those words she knew, she just knew
(though that was obvious from the beginning as far as she was concerned) that
something had gone wrong with the spell and this was the result.
The
horrible result if this was any indication.
“Uh…”
Fred began, uncomfortable now, “Connor is living here now.”
“Connor? Who’s Connor?” She asked, looking around the room. That name sounded familiar...
“My
son,” Angel said, pain and regret and love and hope in his voice.
“Son?
You have a son? What about that whole I’m a vampire and I can’t have
children thing? You finally find way around it? Of course, with the way you guys
go at it I’m not surprised,” she mumbled, smirking at him. “Oh, wait,
that’s right, you do…why had I forgotten that?” Her breath hitched and
Cordy thought that, for the first time in her life, she was going to have a
panic attack. “Of course, Angel has a
son…what’s wrong with me?” This place was seriously beginning to affect her
that was for sure, if she forgot something like that.
And
then a horrible thought occurred to her.
Things
were beginning to sink in, like the fact that several key members of their group
were nowhere to be found and didn’t seem to be showing up anytime soon. And
that there was this strange girl here telling a story she obviously knew. And
that kid over there was still standing as if he expected an attack any minute
not from the outside but from in here.
“W-w-who…”
She paused, cleared her throat, “Who’s his mother?”
“Darla,”
Wes said, speaking up for the first time in long minutes, stealing a glance at
Connor.
“Darla?”
Cordy blinked, catching Wes’ look and focused on the boy who had yet to say a
word. Who the hell was Darla? Wait, wait...DARLA? They thought Darla was his mother? Just how blind are they? “As
in my evil Sire whom I staked several years ago to protect the love of my life
Darla?”
Angel
nodded pain again in his eyes. And horrible as it sounded, Cordy was relieved;
at least he looked like Angel again. Sure, in the past few years he had made
great strides, but Angel still felt incredibly guilty for things he had done in
the past and would never, no matter what anyone did or said, get
completely over that.
She
blinked slowly at him, and stood.
“I
need to make a call.”
Walking
to the phone sitting on the counter, she ignored Gunn – still smirking – who
didn’t seem to be moving any time soon anyway, and dialed. After three rings a
voice answered and thankfully it was one she recognized.
“Dawn,”
she said with relief, “Hey, it’s Cordy, I need to speak with Willow, it’s
kind of majorly important.”
She
could tell that Dawn was confused and not a little upset, but ignored it as the
girl went to find her friend. She also ignored everyone else in the room whom
she could tell were boring holes into her back.
“Cordy?”
Willow came on the phone. “Is everything alright? What’s wrong? Is Angel
okay?”
“Fine,
Willow, no really, not fine, but Angel’s fine, don’t worry. And so am I,
well, no that’s a lie, but…Willow, I need your help. Actually, I need you to
get the gang together and come to LA. I think there’s something wrong
here…”
It
took Cordy another ten minutes, with Gunn listening in, to convince Willow that this was for the best and
that the world was not ending, though that did remain to be seen, and that
desperation was the word of the hour.
“Spike?!
What about him? Whatever,” she continued over anything Willow might have said
to that question. “Just bring whoever is there and make it snappy, this is
really, really wrong.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Two hours and twenty-five minutes later Cordelia was still sitting on that
horrible red couch, arms folded, foot still tapping, and a look of profound
aggravation on her face. No one had approached her since her call to Willow, and
though Fred had tried to explain things more, from across the lobby, Cordy had looked at
her and told her
as politely as she could manage that she really didn’t want to hear it.
Connor
was braver than the rest and finally approached her just past the two-hour mark.
“What
did you mean about Darla?” He sounded scared to Cordy who was having serious
problems reconciling the young man before her with the boy she knew. This one
put on a good front but she saw right through it and wondered how everyone else
couldn’t.
“What
about her? She was Angel’s Sire, dumped him when he got his soul, ‘Not demon
enough’ for her or something, tried to kill Buffy a few years ago but Angel
staked Darla to save her. End of story.”
Connor
shook his head though her words gave him a comfort he didn’t want to admit to.
“No, she was brought back and they conceived me.”
Cordelia
had such a look of horror on her face at that that Connor wondered if she was
going to start screaming. “Back? Someone had the stupidity to bring her
back?” For a minute that’s all Cordy could say until she visibly
calmed herself and asked in a heavy voice, “And this
is why you think she’s your mother?”
Connor
was about to answer when the doors opened and Willow entered, Xander and Dawn
following her, Spike walking in a moment later, blanket thrown over him to
protect him as much as possible from the effects of the setting sun, looking
guilty and…guilty? That was enough for Cordy to decide to ignore the fact that
he was there at all. A moment after that Giles entered with two younger girls
Cordy didn’t know and finally, finally, Buffy.
“Buffy!”
Cordy shouted in joy and surprise as she jumped up, springing past Giles whom she did throw a
grateful and warm smile at and wrapped her arms around the slayer. Needless to
say, everyone was taken aback at her actions.
Patting
her back gingerly Buffy forced a smile, “Uh, nice to see you, too, Cordy.”
“You’re
alive! And safe! And here! And safe!” Cordelia stopped herself, pulling back
and looking at the shorter woman. “But you have no idea what I’m talking
about, do you?”
Buffy
just looked at her with eyes that were too old, had seen too much, and slowly
shook her head, “Uh, no, not really. Willow said it was an emergency
though,” she trailed off, hoping someone would tell her well…something.
Cordy
looked back at Angel who had yet to make a move forward and was simply staring
at Buffy in quiet longing and amazement and love. Kye-rumption my ass, she
thought with a smirk at Fred who just stared at the newcomers.
“Okay,
now that everyone’s here…not everyone’s here. Where’s…” Did she want
to ask this? No, probably not. But she did anyway. Heaving a great sigh for
there had to be a dreadful explanation for her absence, “Where’s Faith?”
Tara was missing, too, but something in Willow’s body language prevented her
from asking after the witch’s lover.
Buffy
stiffened and Angel looked uncomfortable at her question. Willow, Xander, and
Wesley scowled and Giles looked like he wanted to seriously hurt someone. Spike
laughed and Dawn looked ready to kill, either him or Faith, Cordy couldn’t
tell, but she just knew this was bad.
“Never
mind, you know what? I don’t want to know.” Standing in front of the room,
commanding attention as she did so for she looked younger, somehow, more
confident than they were used to, and began. “I’m only saying this once so
pay attention.
“I
haven’t figured everything out, but something here is seriously screwed up.
First of all, Spike why are you here? Hello, evil monster in our presence. And
where’s Drusilla? Shouldn’t you two be someplace in South America wreaking
havoc on the unsuspecting populace? And Darla? What’s that about? No one
brought her back, as for her being Connor’s mother, Angel that’s just
ridiculous; wake up and look at the genes.”
Buffy
sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes – which hadn’t strayed from Angel – now
focusing on the boy who suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Mother? Child?” Her
voice was barely a whisper but carried perfectly over the silence that blanketed
the room.
Turning
her head to glare at her friend Cordelia hissed, “You didn’t tell
her?”
Holding
up a hand to forestall any further outburst, Cordelia turned to Giles and
Willow. “Okay, shortened version. New big bad in town, serious bad, Buffy’s
missing and we have no idea what took her or where to even begin to look; Willow
and Tara did a spell, digging into my mind to see if The Powers left any clues
there and when I came to I landed here.
“Here,
might I say, where everything is seriously screwed up and I don’t even want to
know most of it, I’m sure. What are you guys doing in Sunnydale, that’s the
last place anyone should be, especially you guys when…but since Buffy’s here
then never mind.”
Silence
descended over the group for several long minutes. Finally Gunn, who had tried
to keep as quiet as possible because he was enjoying himself too much asked,
“Anyone want some dinner? Looks like we’ll be here a while, might as well
have some food.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Giles was looking through the book Cordelia had pointed out to him, the one
containing the spell to probe her memory when she approached him.
“Um,
Giles, Wes?” It hurt, oh how it hurt that he didn’t seem to feel for her
what she did for him. “Can I speak with you two for a moment?”
Setting
his book down, Giles nodded and followed her and Wesley into a private office
where she closed the door. “What’s going on here? I mean this is so very
different from what I know and it’s freaking me out. What happened?”
Giles
took a deep breath, pinched the bridge of his nose, taking off his glasses to
rub the lenses. Cordelia stifled the urge to laugh, she was sure it’d be
hysterical anyway, at the familiar gesture. And braced herself.
What
she heard from the two former watchers made her blood run cold. This was too
much. Angel leaving, Buffy and Riley? Who the hell was Riley? Oh, wait, she
remembered now…not important. Faith in jail, the death of Doyle…well at
least that was the same and though it broke her heart all over again to hear of
his death, it was something similar. Spike returning, apparently Dru had dumped
him…again.
Darla’s
resurrection, Angel’s descent into semi-madness, Dawn being the Key – and
again that was familiar – but Joyce never died and Dawn was never the brat
Giles words but not tone made her to be. Pylea and Fred and someone named Groo
and being a princess and Wolfram & Hart…gee, there was a surprise.
Buffy’s
death – and again that was the same – but not the reasons or the way she was
brought back to life or where she was…heaven. And again with the Spike, no
there was no more Spike, Cordy wanted to scream at them. Connor’s mysterious
birth…she wanted to tell them just how unmysterious it was but couldn’t form
words at the moment. Giles’ leaving…like that would ever happen, Holtz…who
the hell was Holtz? Again, unimportant, she decided, as they weren’t finished.
Willow’s addiction to magick, Tara’s death, Angel’s swim in the ocean at
the hands of his son.
Her
time as a higher being…while partly true, they were missing some key events
here. Spike with a soul. Spike with a soul? What? Now she knew she
was in hell. There was no other answer for it. Watcher’s Council exploding,
slayers-in-training here, manifestations all over the place…
“Oh,”
she said, finally, trying to digest everything. Or, at least, everything they
had told her. There wasn’t much on the personal relationship front but Cordy
knew that therein lay the root of this problem.
Giles
handed her a glass of amber liquid, which she gulped thankfully, ignoring the
fire that burned through her. He was worried about her, as his and Wes’
stories progressed he noted her getting paler as her mouth dropped open in shock
and she started to shake.
“This
is all wrong, seriously wrong. Seriously, seriously, wrong. Nothing like this
happened at all. Well, some, maybe, but… Angel left, true, but and Spike?
Never returned, let alone got a soul. God, that’s just wrong…and Buffy? God, no wonder she looks so haunted.”
Wes
laid a hand on her shoulder, still curious as to why she would think they were
involved but wanting to comfort the woman he thought of as a friend. “What do
you mean, Cordelia?”
So
she told them.
Angel
had indeed left but after three months apart, Buffy and he had met…through
some careful – and brilliant if she did say so herself – planning between
her and Willow. “I had come to LA to be an actress, met Angel at some party,
called Willow, and we came up with this plan. Worked nicely, too, if I do say so
myself. He and Doyle,” her voice broke, but she went on, “Kept helping lost
souls, I
joined them, but he and Buffy were firmly back together. Oh, there was still the
whole soul issue, but Doyle mentioned the Oracles and we; he, Willow, you Giles,
and I, went to petition them. They granted our request and made Angel’s soul
permanent. Safer all around that way if you ask me, especially the way those two
go at it.
“Then
Doyle…and you, Wes, came back to town chasing a demon, I forget what it was
about. Buffy transferred to UCLA in the spring, Faith came back from Dover,
Giles, where you sent her for help when she killed that guy, what’s his name,
the mayor’s assistant. She was completely changed, still as tough as ever,
mouthy, attitude and all, but there wasn’t that self-destructive tendency. She
took over slaying at the Hellmouth with Gunn, but LA and Sunnydale aren’t that
far apart, so we all got together occasionally, for those big apocalypses and
all. Plus, some serious partying; nothing like saving the world on a weekly
basis to make one appreciate life.
“Darla
was never resurrected, thank The Powers, Spike still hadn’t returned, Dawn was
the Key, but we all knew that because she was literally made from Buffy and
Angel, a kind of clone/child thing, very bizarre, the Oracles explained it but I
got the second hand account and didn’t understand a lot. Okay, okay,” she
shrugged as if caught in a lie though no one said anything, “You two
tried to explain it and I glazed over, it was long winded and the final product
was the same, so there.
“Joyce
never died; she’s still taking care of Dawn, so far as I know, Tara’s still
alive and with Willow, Connor is…is NOT Darla’s child. Or childe with
an ‘E’ or anything of the sort. Buffy died but we all knew she was going to,
she had to in order for her to learn what she needed to learn, it was part of
some whole big plan that The Powers had for her, took us slightly longer to find
her,” she looked up at the ceiling and muttered, “Damn tricky Powers. But
she was in a kind of limbo state with The Powers and the Oracles where she
learned what was needed and when we found her soul, she wasn’t…God, she
wasn’t wrong, nothing of the sort.
“God,
this is so screwed up!” Cordelia wailed, the tears finally breaking free.
Curling into herself she rocked back and forth, trying to keep the pain and
confusion inside deathly afraid to let it free.
“Connor
is Buffy and Angel’s child,” she went on, determined to lay to rest at least
that particular rumor. “There was some prophecy and nine months later
there was Connor, sweet and innocent, and most definitely not a sulky teenager.”
Okay, so it was slightly more complicated than that, but details so didn’t
matter at the moment. “But something happened, this latest bad tried to get at Buffy through Connor and
it worked, we all fell for it, thought that the prophecy was coming true when we
all thought we had years still…it took her and now we have no idea where she
is.
“I
was a higher being, but certainly never called that, more a messenger of sorts, but only for a short time, there were things we still needed
to know and since I was the one with the visions, the Oracles took me. We…we
did this spell, trying to retrieve what The Powers buried in my head, but…but
something went wrong, I don’t know what happened, but next thing I know I was
here, well, I was here for the spell, but that’s not the point, and everything
was… different, wrong.”
She
didn’t tell them of her and Wes, didn’t tell them that they had all
reconciled whatever differences they might have had, that she, Willow, Tara, Faith,
and Buffy were something like best friends, that Fred had never been rescued
from wherever she had said she was…wait, wasn’t Pylea where Lorne was from?
Speaking of, where was the green-skinned demon?
That
she and Wes were thinking about having a child and that Gunn was with Faith who
was not in jail,
that nothing that had happened here ever did there and there was so much better.
There
was shouting from the lobby but the trio ignored it. If any one of them had to
bet, they’d guess it was Angel and Buffy going at it. They would not have been
wrong.
“I
think, as is often the case,” Giles said, listening with one ear to Buffy
berating Angel for not telling her about Connor and Angel flinging back about
her affair with Spike, “That the effects or the words of the spell were either
altered or amplified somehow. I’m not exactly sure how to rectify it; it’s a
straight-forward spell with no mention of alternate world traveling at all.”
“The
Oracles?” Cordy asked hopefully as she smiled gratefully at Wes when he handed
her a handkerchief.
“Dead
here,” her lover (from someplace else much better, evidently not this nightmare place) told
her sadly as they heard Connor ask about Darla and Buffy’s bitter laugh as it
floated through the closed door.
“Wait
a minute…Spike and Buffy?” Wes looked at Giles smirked, once, the whole idea
was simply ludicrous, before controlling his features. She must have been in a
really bad place for that affair to have happen. “And he has a soul?” Giles
nodded his distaste showing clearly on his face.
“And
in your world there is no Spike, or, well, he never returned because Drusilla
never dumped him? Well, that second time at least.”
Cordelia
nodded her head, her tears finally starting to dry. “What are you getting at,
Wes?” She – just – stopped herself from using an endearment instead of his
name.
“Let’s
rejoin the others,” Giles suggested when there was a sudden dead quiet beyond
the closed doors, “Before someone out there dies.”
The
three of them walked out, Cordy looking miserably at her friends, or those who
looked like her friends. What horrible evil was this?
Angel
and Buffy were on opposite sides of the room, brooding, Gunn and Xander were exchanging
stories at the counter, ignoring the fighting around them, Spike was sitting alone on the steps, Connor was looking
back and forth between Buffy and Angel with Dawn by his side in what looked to
be a vain attempt to calm the noticeably upset boy.
Willow was standing by Fred though neither had said a word to each other since Angel and Buffy started going at each other. They looked as if they were on different sides of the who Angel belonged with fence and they probably were.
Giles
took one look around the room, his sympathetic gaze resting on Buffy’s stoic
one for a moment before turning to Wesley. “You think it’s the same
catalyst?”
Wesley
nodded; understand what Giles was getting at. It was a watcher thing. “It
makes sense, but I don’t know the who or the why.”
“What
does?” Angels asked tearing his gaze, hurt of course, but still filled with
all the love he refused to admit too, away from Buffy.
“Something’s
wrong here!” Cordelia all but shouted, “Haven’t you been listening to me?
Pay attention,” she demanded of the room at large and then elaborated, “This
is wrong. Just. Plain. Wrong. Everything’s wrong, it’s…hell.”
Buffy
shot her a look that told the seer the slayer knew all about that. Damn it, this
wasn’t how it was supposed to be, none of it. Okay, sure they all had their
share of heartache and pain and problems, but they worked together, all of them,
they were a family in every sense of the word.
“Damn
it! This isn’t how it’s supposed to be!” Cordelia turned her gaze to the
ceiling again, once more yelling at The Powers. “You had better do something
to fix this!”
Nothing
happened.
Then
again, Cordelia was the only one who seemed to think something would.
Buffy,
who was still hurting – she doubted this pain would ever go away – flicked
her gaze over the room, resting on the two slayers-in-training. She had more
important things to deal with than Cordelia’s problems. And whatever that
girl, Fred, was babbling about, some soul mate thing between Cordy and
Angel…God that hurt.
“Uh,
guys, I really hate to break this up, but we have an apocalypse to stop,
remember? Mysterious guys running around in cloaks trying to kill everyone,
strange manifestations appearing to my friends and family…any of this sound
familiar?”
Buffy
stopped, frowned. It did sound familiar. But why? Locking eyes with Angel who
looked like it sounded familiar to him as well, she thought about what she had
just said. They both thought of it at the same time, and said it aloud, voices
soft with remembrance and pain, never forgotten love and hope.
“The
First Evil…”
Giles
looked from Buffy to Angel, the implications sinking in. He remembered the First
Evil, remembered that Christmas, Buffy’s fear, Angel’s hopelessness…snow.
“First
Evil?” Willow said, stepping forward a bit and coming out of her silence to echo her friend. “Wasn’t
that from a few years ago? It…snowed…” Buffy had told her parts of what
had happened that Christmas when Willow had commented on the snowfall.
“Snow?”
Fred echoed, confused and still unwilling to admit that she was wrong about
Angel and Cordelia. “It never snows in Southern California.”
“It
did once…” Again, both Buffy and Angel said the words at the same time,
echoing softly around the room.
“Oh…oh,
oh OH! Of course! That’s what it was!” Cordelia shouted, everything making
sense to her now. This was what she was supposed to remember, the First Evil,
except worse, somehow. He was working with…something, she couldn’t remember
who.
“Skip!”
She again yelled to the ceiling. “Skip, get your bronze ass down here! NOW!”
Thirty
seconds later the bronze messenger for The Powers That Be appeared, looking
around the assembled and startled group. “Wow,” he said, walking to Buffy and bowing
stiffly from the waist. “The Slayer, it’s an honor. And The Watcher,” he
said, turning to Giles, making it sound like he was the one and only. “Must be
my lucky day! Can I get your autograph?” He looked at Cordelia and mumbled,
“Maybe later…”
Walking
back to Cordelia he said, “So, what’s with the screaming?”
“This
is wrong, Skip, it’s all horribly, horribly wrong! And-and the First Evil is
involved, and I finally remember what I’m supposed to remember and I know
where Buffy is and how to get her back and I need to go like now! So let’s get
out of here!”
The
group, as a whole, blinked at her. Skip just smiled, albeit confused, but
that’s all he did. “There’s nothing wrong here, Cordelia, Buffy’s right
over there and you are where you wanted to be, back with your friends and hey!
Congratulations on the memory return.”
For
a split second, Cordy looked like she wanted to murder the bronzed skinned demon
then chop him into tiny bits but instead huffed once, turned back to the ceiling, and shouted again. “Damn
it! You know this is wrong and I know you know! Now send me someone who can fix
this!!”
Another
thirty seconds passed and still no one had uttered so much as a syllable.
“You
yelled, kid?” A Brooklyn accented voice asked as a man dressed in the tackiest
clothes Cordy had ever seen appeared. Skip nodded once, said something in a
language Cordy didn’t understand, and left as quickly as he arrived.
“What
are you, the halftime show?” Cordy asked before thinking.
“Whistler?”
Angel asked, shock making his voice hoarse.
“Whistler?”
Buffy asked, shock making her voice hoarse.
“Great,
everyone knows everyone else, that’s peachy; I don’t care.” Cordy said,
quite forcefully, her patience wearing thin. She really just wanted to go home.
“What’s the deal here? I know this can’t be right.”
“Like
this, kid,” he said, ignoring the others in the room for the time. He was so
angry at his two ‘warriors’ that he doubted he could form a coherent
sentence to either of them if he tried. “The First Evil lost, got mighty
pissed, and went back in time to change things. This is the result.”
“Hell,”
Cordy stated with conviction.
Whistler
didn’t contradict her and that served only to confirm her suspicions. “Basically. Spike here,” he chucked a thumb behind
him at the quiet vampire, “Isn’t supposed to be here. Never went back to
good old Sunnydale, never got the chip, never fell in love with the slayer,
never got his soul…”
“HE
HAS A SOUL?!” Angel roared as he whirled to face his Grand-childe. It was bad
enough that he and Buffy had fucked for the better part of several months (Angel
doubted he’d get over that any time soon), it was bad enough that Spike
claimed to ‘love’ her (Angel didn’t believe that for a moment though at
the same time he wondered at anyone who didn’t love her) but this?
It
was too much, and Angel just couldn’t deal…and his soul was probably
permanent.
Ignoring
him, Whistler finished. “Messed everything up, the bleached wonder did. Threw
off all sorts of things, made a big mess of it all. When the you in that world
did the spell, the First intervened. This is the result. Though I’m thinking
that he didn’t expect this result, you being thrown here and
remembering.”
“I
want to go home, Whistler, I need to go home; I have the information now
and they need that. I can’t take it here; I don’t LIKE it here! How
do I get back?” Cordy was once again near tears as she begged.
“I
know, kid, I don’t like it here, either. But it’s not that simple. You
can’t do it. Now wait,” he rushed on, seeing another explosion coming from
the seer. “That’s not what I meant. I meant that you can’t do it.
He has to,” and he pointed at Connor, “Along with Dawn here.”
“It’s
a Key thing, isn’t it?” Dawn asked resignation in her voice. But if it meant
that none of the last few years had happened…then she’d do it. Lord knew
this wasn’t a fun life.
“Yeah,”
Whistler admitted, sorrow in his voice for what she had to endure in this world.
“Sorry, kid.”
“Whatever,
I’ll do it.”
“Connor?”
Angel asked, trying not to imagine what his son would have to do in order for
Cordelia to find her way back home. A home he was only now beginning to realize
was real…okay, so he hadn’t believed her before, what did you expect?
“What
about me?” The boy asked, voice flat, glaring at his father for a moment
before turning to the weird little guy before him.
“You’re
The Destroyer, aren’t you? Conceived from love in an unlikely source, destined
to unite the world and rid it of the darkness. See?”
Buffy
noticeably paled and stiffened when she heard those words. ‘Conceived from
love…’ And the pain kept on coming.
Whistler
noted the look of revulsion on the boy’s face then skimmed over the rest of
the group. They looked equally nauseated, though Angel looked nauseated and like
he wanted to protest Whistler’s words. “What’s going on here?”
“Oh,”
Cordelia said with an impatient wave of her hand. “They think that Darla
is Connor’s mother.”
“Darla?”
Whistler asked, obviously not connecting the name.
“Angel’s
long-dead sire…?”
“Oh,
right, what gives them that crazy idea?”
“This
is hell,” Cordelia reiterated and they both nodded at her statement.
Finding
his voice, despite the fact that he was a little unsure if he wanted to know the
answer, Connor asked, “Then…then who is my mother?”
For
a second Cordy thought she was going to laugh and again was positive it’d be
hysterical. She read, just last night, little Connor the Dr. Seuss book, ‘Are
You My Mother?’ God, she wanted to go home…
She
missed Wes’ arms, Buffy and Faith’s early morning banter, Willow and Tara
cuddling at the counter…Angel and Gunn laughing over something and Giles
looking on with paternal pride at his children. Hell, she even missed Xander and
Anya’s sickening antics…and just where was Anya? Ugh, she hated this place.
Whistler
looked at him, then at Angel, perceptibly angered at the vampire’s assumption
that Darla was his child’s mother, then at Buffy who looked like she wanted to
scream, cry and pound on something until it bled. “Uh, Buffy of course…”
Again
with the silence.
Which
was abruptly broken when everyone started talking at once.
Cordelia
just looked at the people wearing her family’s faces. Man, talk about your pod
people! Almost made her wonder what she was like here…almost, but not quite.
Connor
looked relieved at not having Darla as his mother and, honestly, who could blame
the poor kid? Gunn was still sitting on the counter taking it all in stride;
Fred seemed confused and angry…now that anger made no sense. Willow and Xander
closely resembled the gaping fish she had earlier compared Wesley to with the
bulging eyes and opening and closing mouths.
Wesley
looked relieved as well and Giles blinked once before smiling. Dawn smiled as
well, though it seemed just as confused as everyone else’s did. Spike snorted
with laughter before going back to his silence on the steps. And Buffy…Buffy
and Angel looked like they had just received the best present ever…
Cordelia
smiled at her friends, knowing that no matter what this hell-world had, this, at
least, remained the same. And then everyone talking at once exasperated her
headache and made her even more irritable than she was at this whole thing to
begin with.
“Quiet!”
She screamed, really just wanting to go home. With any luck, if she understood
Whistler correctly, this world (which was beyond wrong) wouldn’t exist and
she’d go back to hers. Please, oh please, she prayed to any god willing to
listen. Please let that be right.
“I
really just want to go home, or fix this or whatever, what needs to be done?”
Cordelia all but begged the Destiny Demon.
Shrugging
Whistler said, “Just need a bit of blood, the witch over there to say some
words, a circle of friends, and poof! Everything should be back to normal.”
She
didn’t like that ‘should be’ part but was willing to overlook it in
favor of the hope he gave her. “Connor?” She asked the boy, God he
couldn’t be that old already… “Connor will you help me? Please?”
Connor
looked at the woman for long moments, his mind trying to grasp all he had seen
and heard today. It was a lot to take in but if there was a chance, even a slim
one, that the slayer was his mother and not the vampire…if he really was happy
there…
Cordelia,
seeing the indecision on his face led him a little ways away from the main
group, who had gathered closer to each other at the revelation that Buffy was
Connor’s mother.
“I
don’t know all the details about what happened to you here, Connor. All I know
is that where I’m from, before The First Evil changed the past of course, you
were a precious little boy who called me Aunt Cordy and gave me sticky kisses
and told me he loved me. Your parents love you very much, too, they love each
other very much.”
Shooting
a look over her shoulder she added, “Though they do here, too, any fool can
see that.”
Focusing
her attention back on the young man before her, Cordy continued. “I don’t
know who Holtz is, but you can be sure that I’m going to ask Angel about him
when I get back. Or things change to the way they were supposed to
or…whatever…anyway. Things are better there, you are raised by the people
you see here but they’re…better. They love each other and you, there’s not
this schism separating us, we’re a family. Wes and Giles tell me that you were
raised in some demon-dimension…I swear to you that that never happened and
never will happen.”
Connor
still hadn’t said anything. To not spend most of his life in that hell
dimension? To actually have a father who loved him and not treated him as a
means to an end? Yeah, he figured that out about Holtz long ago, but that
didn’t stop the loved starved boy from wanting the only father he knew to
approve of him. And a mother…the small blonde woman who was even now looking
at him with longing.
“Okay…”
He found himself saying, his heart, for the first time in years, opening to what
it had always wanted. Love, acceptance, hope, family.
Throwing
her arms around the boy, almost knocking him off balance with her enthusiasm,
Cordy said, “Thank you! Oh, thank you so much!”
~~~~~~~~~~
It took an hour for everything to be set up, Gunn and Giles ran out to the
closest magick store for some supplies Angel didn’t have and then everything
was set.
“Please,
oh please let this work!” Cordy whispered again, praying one last time before
she entered the circle of her friends, all joining hands; Buffy and Angel stood
next to each other and the second their hands touched it was as if nothing
between them had changed. And finally, Willow began.
The
witch was understandably nervous about performing this spell – Giles had told
Cordy about the almost ending the world bit and the seer found that so hard to
believe it was almost funny – but Willow was doing this in the hopes that
everything would be put to rights.
“Let
this which is not be completed, Let It who shall never win be defeated. From the
Blood of The Destroyer of Evil and the Blood from The Key of Life let things be
put to right!”
At
first nothing happened then all of a sudden a silver-white glow formed around
Cordelia, encircling her, raising her several feet off the ground. Suddenly she
was gone from the circle and the group only had a few moments to look at each
other, wondering what had happened and what would happen now…
…
“Cordy! Baby, wake up.”
Cordelia
Chase opened her eyes to see a pair of familiar and concerned ones looking down
at her. “Wes?”
“Yeah,
baby, it’s me.”
“Wes!”
She threw her arms around her lover, crying her happiness out. “Oh, God, that
was the worst dream ever! It was a nightmare more like it. Everything was so
screwed up and Buffy and Angel, Connor, God, you acted like you didn’t even
know me! The whole day was horrible, Willow tried to destroy the world and there
was this strange girl with Gunn and Tara was dead and Spike was there with a soul
and Faith wasn’t anywhere to be found and-and-and…”
She
clung to her lover, willing those horrible images away, it was worse than
anything they had ever faced and she didn’t want to remember any of it.
Lorne
looked at the seer, sympathy in his voice, “Uh, Cordy, babe? That really
happened.”
Cordy
stilled, pulled away from Wes and looked at Lorne. “What?”
“You
really did leave us for a moment or two, looks like whatever it is we’re after
changed time, made things so that it’d win this time around. Went into the
past, changed something, and played everything so it’d win.”
“Spike,”
Cordy said with conviction. Okay, so the chances of the vampire actually being
the catalyst of that hellish place were slim, but he just so wasn’t supposed
to be there! “Spike came back because Drusilla dumped him again
and got some chip thingy in his head then fell in love with Buffy and got a soul
and-and it had to be that!”
Wesley
just looked at her, wondering what it was she was talking about. Seeing the
look, worried and loving, Cordy smiled back bringing his lips to hers…she had
missed that in the horrible day she had been away from him.
“I’ll
explain everything later, but right now I know what we’re up against and where
Buffy is. Let’s get her back and then we’ll talk.”
Wes
nodded; helping her to stand as the rest of her friends…her family watched
her, worried looks on all their faces. Wes, Gunn and Faith, Willow and Tara,
Giles, Dawn, Joyce, Lorne, Xander and Anya, and Angel with his son, his and
Buffy’s…God, to think that other Pod-Angel thought that Darla was sweet Connor’s mother. Talk about your nightmares…
Connor
chose at that moment to run up to her, flinging his little chubby arms around
her legs.
“Aunt
Cordy!” He shouted, making his aunt smile. He had missed her, she was gone so
long…
“Hey
ya, precious, miss me?” She had certainly missed him.
“Love
you, Aunt Cordy!”
“Love
you, too, Connor,” she told the boy as Angel took him away; the vampire was
extremely overprotective of his son, even more so now with his mother missing, and wasn’t taking any
chances. Once the child was safely on his way back to his new magickally protected
room, Cordy looked at the people surrounding her. “Okay, let’s get started,
I know…sort of, where Buffy is. And the thing we’re up against? It’s
called The First Evil.”
There
were the appropriate gasps of shock, murmurs of what it had done the last time
it had surfaced. But Cordelia knew that they’d win. She knew that because they
already had and she wasn’t going to be the one to fuck it up this time around.
She knew because she knew her family.
Angel
walked back into the room, looking tired and apprehensive, exhaustion clear in
every movement of his body. He missed his other half, he missed Buffy and it was
taking a toll on him, both physically and mentally. “We’ll get her back,
Angel, trust me.”
He
smiled at her, nodding. He would do anything and everything to get his love
back, had done so much already. He could feel her, but couldn’t find her. She
was okay, hurt, but alive. He would get her back, no matter the price.
Cordy
intertwined her fingers with Wes’, taking strength from him as much as giving
it back. They were going to do this and win because this is what they did.
And
that was all there was to it.
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