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Buffy waited at the top of the stairs for Angel and together they raced down them, heading for the still confident looking First. Slowing the nearer they got to It, the couple automatically took their preferred fighting stance next to each other. It was a complimentary position, one they hadn’t had a chance to use in entirely too long. And one that they automatically fell into whenever they were together. 

“You’re too late.” It taunted in a sing song voice that had Buffy scowling again. “It’s already begun and nothing can stop it now. My beautiful Blood Harvest is coming to fruition and it’s going to be a wonderful sight.” 

“Like you’re the first being I’ve heard that from,” Buffy mocked. “That’s what they all say, oh, too late now.” She inched forward, Angel right next to her. “And guess what? I always win.” 

It laughed, rising fluidly to stand before the image It still retained. “Little girl, you have no idea who you’re dealing with.” 

“I know enough to know that I can win,” the slayer said confidently, the power of the slayers flowing through her, surging to the fore at the affront to their power and heritage. This was it then, this was what they were meant to do. And they were all ready for it.

As slayers throughout time merged further into her, with her, as her, Buffy felt it all, felt the power and more importantly, the knowledge. She knew what she had to do and she was determined to do so. So she smiled and advanced another step. 

“I know how to win because I am the essence of everything that’s ever beaten you before. There’s something even you don’t know, baby,” another step then another and Buffy was now within striking distance. Angel still guarded her side, further away now so as not to interfere with her battle but always with her. 

“All the slayers flow through me, all their power and knowledge and even more than that. Plus, I have something a little more.” Buffy watched as It picked up the sword leaning against the side of the stone chair. Where did that sword come from? And since when was the First corporeal? Did it have something to do with the Blood Harvest? 

“And there’s something you don’t know, slayer,” It said as It swung the sword in a lazy arc towards Buffy’s head that seem to take forever but arrived much more quickly than the slayer would have expected. 

Parrying it, they began. Thrust, parry, thrust, duck, arc. It was a slow moving fight that defied the speed of eye. “My Blood Harvest is almost finished. The blood of a thousand innocents has already been spilled in the chamber you, yourself christened several long years ago. Couldn’t have done it without ya, babe, I really must thank you for that.” 

Another swing of the quickly approaching sword that Buffy parried and It finished with a excited smile, “All it needs is one final ingredient. Lucky for me, that element can be one of two things. And they’re both on the verge of giving it to me because hey, two is better than one, right?” 

Buffy spared a glance at Angel but the vampire was already racing back up the stairs towards Connor and Faith. What the hell was It walking about? What could Faith and Connor have to give to the First to complete the harvest? 

“Gotta tell you,” It mused, sweeping the sword through the air once more. “I’m impressed. You’ve not only managed to take out my glorious army, with the incompetent seer no less; I’ll never figure that one out. But you’ve forced me to actually fight. Impressive, slayer, very impressive.” 

Then it all happened at once. 

Angel pounced on the demon sneaking up on Connor who was now healing Faith with the gentle touch of his hands, is entire concentration, and a soft purple glow that surrounded the two of them. The long limb creature howled in pain but didn’t back down, determined to complete its only mission. 

The First stabbed Its sword through Buffy’s stomach, grinning triumphantly as It did so just as Buffy swung her own sword, blessed as it was by some long forgotten somebody, decapitating her likeness, and weakening the First to the point of non-corporalness, if the sudden shimmering of the body was any indication. 

Buffy screamed in pain and simultaneous healing, the First screamed in anger and fury, Faith screamed because she felt Buffy’s pain as it added to her own and her own healing thanks to Connor, a flash of lightening crashed through the cavern from nowhere and everywhere and Angel bellowed Buffy’s name. 

“You bitch!” It hissed, bouncing from form to form with no breaks, unable to grasp onto one image long enough to fully form a likeness. “Do you really think that by injuring me you win? You know nothing!” 

Her body still screamed but Buffy looked at the rapidly changing image of the First. Her eyes shifted from hazel to a golden white, the heritage she now carried; demon and slayers. Her aura glowed with that as well and when she spoke, it was not with one voice but with hundreds, thousands. All the slayers, from the First Slayer to Buffy joined in as she (they) advanced towards the being known as the First Evil. 

“Wrong, we do,” her voice (their voice) echoed around the cavern. “We win, you lose; you can’t complete your little harvest because the final component will never be yours. Faith is ours; she is our child, our daughter, sister, mother, friend, ancestor and descendant. Connor is ours as well; he is hope, future, beginnings. And you will never have the power to complete your harvest now because you will never have all that you need.” 

She slowly advanced on It as It howled in impotent rage; even Its Harbingers were dead. It could raise another army, that wasn’t the point or the problem. No the immediate problem was that in order to raise that army, It’d need time and It sensed a distinct lack of that. 

“You should have waited, should not have been so impatient to complete the harvest before its time; there is a reason for all things, being, and you have squandered that reason.” 

Two beings suddenly gleamed next to Buffy and it was then that It realized what happened. “WE are disappointed in you, child, yet expected nothing else. The Blood Harvest was not foretold for centuries yet and because of your impulsiveness you have destroyed the balance WE have maintained for millennia. However,” THEY continued, “WE have compensated for your impudence.” 

Connor, Faith, and Angel were suddenly beside Buffy and the slayer looked to her mate with the same sightless eyes that saw all. She moved beside him, still humming with the power within her. Faith was healed and she looked around, confused; the last thing she remembered was being skewered like a kabob. 

Then she felt the power from Buffy and was drawn to it, to her. This was the same power that crawled through her, Faith, only to an exponential degree. Faith took Buffy’s hand in hers, adding her own slayer strength/power/life to that which was Buffy. The blonde slayer glowed that much brighter, the radiance surrounding Faith, now, as well. 

Connor started to glow, too, and Angel, panicked for his son, tried to grab him. Buffy took his hand in her other one, holding the larger one so Angel couldn’t move and turned him to face her. She ran that hand across his cheek, not letting go of Faith’s hand and smiled at him before kissing him. The power that now surrounded the three of them was enough to make Angel gasp in shock. 

Then he was crushing her closer, craving more. 

The beings continued, “WE have the child, as was predestined; He will ascend with US and restore the balance. The bond between the Souled Vampire and The Slayer has been restored; their combined power enough to close the portal you sought to open.” 

Faith watched, her own eyes glowing with a whiteness similar to Buffy’s that would have freaked her out had she known, as Buffy drew back from Angel. They, too, had glowed that same freaky all the colors but no true one that the shimmery beings did. What the fuck…? She was so lost. But the energy that was in her, now, told her more than she needed to know. 

She wasn’t ready for this, Faith thought, she wasn’t ready to be the one, the slayer. Was it too late to run? 

Pulling away, Angel looked to where his son stood. “Connor?” Pride slammed through Angel as he realized what and who his son was and was supposed to be. The fact that this child was his, Angel’s, was something the vampire doubted he’d truly ever comprehend. But he accepted it because he loved his son, would do anything for his son. 

Including let him go to discover his own path. 

“It’s okay, dad, this is what I was supposed to do. I realized it when I met Doyle, he told me everything, showed me what I was supposed to be.” He walked to where his father stood, still near Buffy though the slayer was no longer clinging to him. “Thanks, dad,” he said and Angel thought he hadn’t heard him right. 

“Things worked out just as they were supposed to.” He hugged Angel then and turned to Buffy. “It’s been a pleasure, Slayer,” Connor said to the still glowing woman. “I know you’ll have a long and happy life.” 

Buffy smiled, her sightless eyes saw his true form, the almost unbridled energy that was also the beings next to her. She said nothing, unsure what to say and equally doubtful of Connor’s words. But she hugged him, feeling his power call to hers. This was Angel’s son, and as much as she hated the fact his mother was Darla – was anyone other than her – Buffy couldn’t hate the child. 

“Do you want me to get rid of Angelus for you?” Connor whispered. 

Buffy never hesitated. “No, but thank you for offering. He’s as much a part of me as he ever was Angel. I love them both and need them in my life.” 

Connor nodded, as if he expected this, and stood back. With a final nod, he disappeared with the strange beings, leaving a fuming First Evil, a confused slayer, and a couple who needed years of therapy or some serious one on one marathon talks, to get past all their combined issues. 

“This is not done, slayer,” It said in the form of someone no one recognized. “Time is on my side and when I’m strong enough again, you’ll be sorry you ever went against me.” 

“I’m sorry we ever met, does that count?” Buffy quipped. 

It growled, a fair imitation of a vampire’s growl, and vanished. Buffy watched it go, careful to keep her back to Angel and the unresolved issues between them. She turned to Faith. 

“You ready to blow this joint?” Buffy asked just as the cavern began to shake. 

In the middle of all the shaking, a body appeared near Angel’s feet. It was Cordelia and Buffy resisted the urge to growl herself and push the dead body over the cliff. That was childish and selfish, she reminded both herself and her demon. Neither cared. 

Angel frowned then bent down to pick up Cordelia’s body in his arms. His guilt shone through his dark brown eyes and he carefully smoothed the hair off her face. “I’m sorry,” he whispered before placing a soft kiss on her forehead. 

He looked up as he set Cordelia’s body back on the shaking ground, Faith stood near the bottom of the stairs and another exit, obviously waiting for him. He looked around the cavern, but Buffy was no where to be found. 

Running to where the brunette stood, he shouted over the din, “Where is she?” 

Faith just pointed to the exit. Buffy stood there, facing Angel across the dust and smoke, the falling rocks and shaking, suddenly not sturdy, cavern. She said nothing, just looked at him before turning and walking away. 

Angel’s growl of frustration echoed after her.
~~~~~~~~~~
Faith and Angel raced through the secondary exit, chasing Buffy as much as they were running for their lives. This path also circled upwards, winding in circles that, at the breakneck speed the pair were running, was treacherous even to them. 

Faith suddenly skidded to a halt, that same feeling creeping through her, the one from the earlier cave that all but crippled her and Buffy. Collapsing to her knees, Faith wrapped her arms around her stomach as if afraid her insides would explode. 

Angel stopped when he realized Faith wasn’t behind him. As soon as he stopped, the vampire realized what the cavern was they were in. Everything was the same, the puddles and the rocks, the clumps of sand and the throne the Master sat in for sixty-plus years. 

This was where Buffy had died, where the Master bit her, tasted her blood, and killed her. 

The rage that flooded him was enough to make Angel choke. And if the Master hadn’t already been dead, the old bat would be now. 

Gently picking Faith up off the ground, Angel tamped down his anger at the delay and at Buffy’s disappearance and focused on the slayer. He moved her from the floor into the sewers, waiting as she calmed. 

“What the fuck was that?” She wanted her voice to be strident but it came out a wispy thread laced with pain. 

“That was where Buffy died, where the Master killed her.” His voice held a note that Faith couldn’t pinpoint but if it was anything like what he felt the second time, she didn’t want to know. Imaging was enough. “If you had the same reaction in the other cave, it must be directly below this one since we’re going up, now. They must be connected somehow. I think,” Angel said as something the First said to Buffy clicked, trying not to dwell on Buffy’s death, either of them. “That first cave was where the First slaughtered Its innocents. I don’t know, but somehow you’re connected; possibly to both the caves and the killings.” 

“Great, perfect, wonderful,” Faith grumbled as they waited for her to regain her balance in the shaking sewer system. “I’m connected to more things than the damn telephone company. Buffy, innocents, slayers – and more than just me slayer – First Evils, damn cave systems.” 

Ignoring her, even if he did sympathize, Angel reached out with his senses – all his sense, vampire, mate, soul – for Buffy. She was safe, above them, waiting. For what, Angel didn’t know, but as long as she was safe, he’d stay with Faith and wait for his friend to level her system again. Then he’d find his mate, his love, and deal with her. 

A minute more passed and Angel helped Faith stand; they continued though the sewers that still connected to the high school. Talk about your déjà vu. Were they always this convoluted? Was the basement always this big? 

“Maybe it has something to do with the slayer power? I don’t know, Faith, but if both you and Buffy got sick in the same place, the cause has to be that.” Angel looked around the tunnels as they gave way to basement, “We’re below the high school now.” 

Minutes later they emerged from the sewers, raced through the shaking rebuilt school, Angel all the while looking for Buffy. Where was she? She was still okay, Angel knew that, but that didn’t stop his worry for her. Or the overwhelming desire to find her before something did happen to her. 

They cleared the school with moments to spare before the structure collapsed in on itself, seemingly sucked into the Hellmouth that lay beneath it. Again Angel was struck by the stupidity – or irony – of building a high school over the gateway to hell. They former mayor either knew what he was doing, or ole Dick had a fine sense of humorous irony. 

Suddenly Buffy was next to him, holding his hand and once more combining her power with his. Visible sparks, golden and white, jumped between them, a blinding glow surrounding the couple and drawing them closer. The power that flowed through each of them had nowhere to go, nothing more to do than merge, unite, combine to make more

And more it did make, until only Angel could hear Buffy’s voice as it echoed around him and through him and was him as much as his answer was her and hers. 

“Both of us are needed to stop the Harvest and to close the Hellmouth once and for all.” Her voice was once again her own but this singularity did nothing to detract from her presence. “It’s almost dawn, Angel, so we have to hurry or it’ll be too late to stop the harvest.” 

Angel barely had time to nod his agreement before their power, once more merged and shooting golden-white sparks around the grounds…exploded outward. Faith took a step back then another one. Whatever the couple was doing, she didn’t want to be caught in the backlash. But something they did called to her own power and she had an almost overwhelming urge to join them. Another part of her held herself back, insisting that this wasn’t her fight and that she was needed for the aftermath. 

Those golden-white sparks that increased exponentially and completely obscured Faith’s view of Buffy and Angel, suddenly shot towards the ground the high school once protected, enveloping it in a flash of light that could be seen for miles around. Screams and cries of a thousand, thousand pained and angry demons reared towards the sky in a flash of color and sound. 

The higher everything went up the quicker it got sucked back into the ground, the hole that had appeared when the light encased it closing rapidly as more and more things were sucked into it. Smaller and smaller the hole collapsed in on itself much like the school did; until whatever debris that remained from the school was sucked in as well. 

Going with instinct, Angel tilted Buffy’s head to the side, licking the scarred tissue there, feeling her own mouth on the side of his neck. Something pushed him to do this final act and he couldn’t resist. Didn’t want to resist and, apparently, neither did Buffy. Together they each pierced the other’s skin, Angel’s face changing as he did so, Buffy’s canines elongating as the only sign she was changed from Angelus’ turning. 

Sips only were required in this exchange more ceremonial than anything else, but in order for their power to reach full potential, it was required. Power flowed so seamlessly through them, between them, that there was not separate them, just a single being shared. 

Just as suddenly as it began, it stopped. Eerie silence ricocheted around them as if even sound had been trapped beneath the still glowing hole? – Hellmouth? – ground? – something no one could see? It was hard to tell, the glow encompassed all and showed no sign of fading. Then the glow also surrounding Angel and Buffy dissipated and everything was a black so dark it hurt one’s eyes. 

Hands still joined, Angel turned to Buffy and kissed her, sparking one final flame that shot into the night sky, one light for the both of them. 

The Souled Vampire and The Slayer were joined again. 

They broke apart, Angel still holding Buffy in his arms as they realized what they’d done. Closed the Hellmouth, stopped the First’s Blood Harvest with moments to spare, destroyed the high school again. And bound themselves together as one entity: soul, demon, slayer. 

Angel was about to say something, what he didn’t know, how much he loved Buffy, how much he missed his son, how he wanted to forgive Cordelia but didn’t know how to, even after she’d sacrificed herself for all of them and the world. All this was on the tip of his tongue but he said nothing because what he  really wanted to do was hold Buffy and kiss her again. 

So he did. 

They broke apart and Faith shouted something, causing Angel to turn to his friend. He felt Buffy slip out of his arms and in the half second it took for him to turn back to his lover, she was gone.

Buffy was, once again, was nowhere for Angel to find with anything but whatever bond allowed him to sense her. 

Angel howled in anger and pained disappointment he knew she was still nearby, knew that she was quickly leaving the area, and knew, without a doubt, that she didn’t want him following her. Growling again, hurt swamping him and adding to his grief, Angel turned sharply on his heal, stalking towards where Giles had left his car. 

Faith trotted quickly behind him to catch up and they met Robin and Gunn halfway; they had decided was their best option when the cave mouth they were guarding collapsed behind them, sucking several extra feet of land with it. 

Without a word they piled into the car, Angel revved the engine and the quartet sped out of Sunnydale. Faith offered to drive, seeing as Angel’s erratic steering probably wasn’t going to get them anyplace in one piece, let alone leave Angel unscathed enough to find wherever Buffy fled to. 

The vampire ignored her. As he did Gunn’s questions about Connor and Cordelia. And Robin’s strange concern about the rapidly rising sun and his sincere worry for Buffy whom he’d grown genuinely fond of. 

With no other option, Angel finally let Gunn drive. Blankets and random articles of clothing were hung precariously from the windows to block the invading sunlight because Angel refused to huddle under anything. It was undignified and uncomfortable. And he wasn’t going to ever stoop so low again. 

Besides, he was brooding and that was best done with arms folded across the wide expanse of his chest, staring out a window covered by Robin’s white polo shirt. The scenery didn’t matter to Angel, only his own thoughts and feelings. 

“Where are we meeting up?” Robin asked, wondering if he’d just missed that little tidbit. 

No one answered, looking sheepishly at the others. Angel still said nothing. “Ah, we never made it that far in the planning?” Faith offered, sliding across the seat to where Gunn drove. “How about Vegas?” 

Gunn nodded his enthusiasm and Robin agreed. The closer they drove to the appropriately named Sin City, the more Angel felt the presence of the others. He wasn’t sure how that was possible, but he broke his self-imposed isolation to tell his car mates that they were all headed to the same place. 

Buffy dominated all of his thoughts, his feelings, his entire being and by the time they reached Vegas, he was torn between heartbreaking grief and uncontrollable anger. He wanted to rage at her for leaving, want to break down and cry over his son’s not-death but ascension. He’d still never get to see his boy again. Wanted to hold her close, feel her body around his, and sleep for a hundred days. 

He just wanted to know that she was all right. 

Faith told Gunn and Robin about what happened in the cave only realizing after the story that she’d have to repeat it again to Giles. But she shrugged it off; even though she’d been there Faith doubted most of what she saw. Maybe that was a good thing? 

They eventually found the rest of the gang by chance driving and a lucky phone call to Wesley who miraculously still had his cell phone with him. And it was on and better luck, he answered it. With so many people to accommodate, they were taking up four of the larger rooms at the Treasure Island hotel. No one asked how anything was paid for. Giles just smiled and said it was ‘on the house.’ 

Angel ignored the pirate scenery, the potentials, his remaining friends, his lover’s mentor and sister, and stalked towards a bed slamming the door behind him. Exhausted, he ignored everyone, too, and tried to sleep. Images of Buffy plagued him, though, and he found it difficult to do anything more than think about her. 

Dawn snuck in an hour later, Angel’s growls were echoing through the connecting doors and emotions alternated between nervous and annoyed, Faith and Gunn ignored it by locking their door and ‘getting to know each other better’ and Robin cash advanced some money and went to play Blackjack. She sat on the bed and took the vampire’s hand. 

“She’s alive, Dawnie,” Angel assured the girl. 

“Then where is she?” Hope, trust, fear, hurt, sorrow. 

“I don’t know. But I’m going to find her, I swear.” Angel pulled the girl down next to him and held her as she cried out her fear and sorrow. The youngest Summers’ had seen too much in her short life and she deserved this. Too bad Angel couldn’t work up enough of anything to join her in her cleansing tears. 

They fell asleep like that, Dawn tucked protectively next to Angel as she used to sleep next to Buffy when she was lonely and frightened. When she awoke several hours later, Angel was gone. She wasn’t surprised. 

The note he left said he went to find Buffy and that they’d be in touch with Dawn – and only Dawn – once he’d found her. Angel then left the number of a cell phone with strict instructions to keep it to herself and to call him immediately if she A) heard from Buffy, B) saw Spike or Drusilla again, or C) needed him. 

Memorizing the number, Dawn burnt the letter and went to join what was left of her surrogate family. She didn’t tell anyone where Angel or Buffy were, or that Angel had left to find her sister. She shrugged off questions and remonstrations and agreed to stay with Giles and Wesley as they rebuilt the Watcher’s Council. 

Faith stayed with her former watchers, Gunn staying with her, too. He was still angry – more than – over Fred’s death, but there was nothing and no one to take that anger out on except the demons that still haunted the night. Robin agreed, too, to stay with the group and formed an odd relationship with Anya. 

Every night Dawn went to the roof of wherever they currently were and looked out at the sky. Snow, rain, moonlight and starlight or not, she looked out and hoped that Buffy was with Angel. Then she’d be safe. And then Dawn’s be able to worry less. 

Even if she never saw her sister again.
~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy wandered along the shores of Ireland until she found a nice size rock. Sitting on the cold surface, she was forcibly reminded of her lover’s cold body. 

‘Just remember, lover, you were the one to do the spell. I certainly didn’t want to leave my nice body. Though yours is comfortable, I’d have preferred to feel your body around mine as I fuck you.’

‘Eloquent, Angelus.’ 

The demon snorted but said nothing to her reply. 

In the days (five days, seventeen hours – give or take a time change or two, and a continent and an ocean) since she’d left Angel, Sunnydale, Dawn, and whatever else she once cherished, Angelus had become more vocal. 

It was comforting, Buffy admitted as she watched the waves, black in the moonlight as they crashed along the rocky shoreline. Comforting to have the man she loved (one of them, how schizophrenic was she?) with her all the time. There was no way he was ever leaving her this way. 

‘I didn’t before, Buffy.’ Angles said seriously. ‘I’d never leave you. You are mine and I never leave what’s mine.’ 

“Not Darla, Drusilla, Spike? I seem to recall,” she said in a low voice that was unnecessary as they were alone and she didn’t need to speak aloud for Angelus to hear her. “That you told me on our way here that you left them on a number of occasions.” 

‘They weren’t mine.’ Her demon said with a snarl. ‘Darla? Sired me, was a great fuck – and I seem to recall already discussing this – and nothing more than a nuisance most other times. Dru was nutty but yes, she was mine. When I wanted her to be. Spike…? Please. He was Drusilla’s not mine. We shared good times together, but that was about it.’ 

Buffy said nothing for a minute then, “Why me?” 

She’d wanted to ask this for a while now but couldn’t bring herself to, either on the plan ride from Sunnydale to LAX, then to BWI and finally to Galway, Ireland or in the days following their landing. She hadn’t paid for her ticket; Angelus instructed her to talk to several members of US Airways management, what to say and who to say it to. 

It’d gotten her several terrified looks, a bow from a particularly tall and robust looking man in a several thousand dollar suit, and unlimited flights to wherever she wanted. Considering all the security in airports around the world and the fact that she didn’t have a passport or any identification at all, that was pretty impressive. 

Buffy hadn’t asked Angelus who the men were, what they owed him, or how they managed to get her on a plane, first class from LAX to Baltimore, then envoy to Galway. She didn’t even know there was an Envoy Class. It was luxurious, however, and Buffy wondered how many other places she could fly on Angelus’ reputation alone. 

‘Because you don’t back down from me. You meet me word for word, passion for passion. Whatever I throw out you take and give back even though I hurt you. You don’t let those wounds show and that shows strength.’ 

They were both silent for a bit, then Angelus added, ‘Besides, you spark an answering passion in me that has never made sense to me. Before you, if I could have chosen a mate, you wouldn’t have been it. The moment Angel – we – laid eyes on you that was it. He loved you instantly. I wanted you. We both got our way.’ 

“I see,” Buffy whispered as the wind whipped around her, alternately harshly tugging at her hair and gently caressing her face like a missed lover. 

‘Do you?’ Angelus mused. ‘I don’t think you do. It’s hard to describe the so-called softer feelings when you’re the only person I’ve ever felt them for. But what I feel for you is anything but ‘soft.’ It’s harsh and bright, addicting and there. A constant need that drives me insane even as I race towards it. It’s a sad, sad day when I admit I can’t live without you.’ 

“Good thing,” Buffy chuckled as she stood and started back up the rocky coast, “That you’re stuck with me then.” 

The second she turned, she sensed him. The night was black, the waxing moon shedding too little light for even her to see him. Slowly climbing over rocks and crags, Buffy scanned the area until her eyes lighted on his figure. The wind whipped around him, too, his leather duster billowing out behind him making him look like an avenging angel. 

“How did you find me?” She questioned once she was close enough. 

“You thought I wouldn’t?” He countered in a low voice. “Angelus should have been more careful.” 

‘Ah,’ the demon in question said. ‘Point for the soul.’ 

What, like he was going to tell Buffy that Angel would most likely use the same resources? It is possible to guard against the sunlight when flying, difficult, but not impossible. Besides, he was tired of her moping; no matter what carnal images he shared with her, the times she brought herself to orgasm while sharing the experience with him as if it really were Angelus with her, the talks, nothing worked. 

She sometimes shouted Angel’s name as her climax crashed over her, dreamed of an interwoven demon and angel as they pleasured her body and held her closely. Cried in her sleep because Angel wasn’t there; Angelus knew – had grown to begrudgingly accept at least – that she loved them both, but it still grated to know he couldn’t be it for her. 

Maybe he should have taken care of that soul when he had the chance. If the annoyance that was his pesky soul was gone before Buffy arrived in LA, everything would have run so much smoother.

Then there was the constant but faint shivers she experienced. 

In the open air, the coolness winding around her, it looked like she was chilled. But the shakes were because she hadn’t fed from Angel’s blood in almost a week and that loss was taking its toll. 

“What do you want, Angel?” 

Want, what did he want? It wasn’t obvious? He hadn’t spelled it out in the days – mere hours – they had together between her returning the soul to his body and her leaving? She didn’t know that all he wanted was her, and that when she left him in Sunnydale with the thought that at least she was alive, she had still shattered his heart? 

The wind captured his roar even as Angel captured Buffy in his arms. Words escaped him as he thought of the days he spent trying to find her and the minutes he spent walking along the shoreline in search of her. He’d been worried for her, scared for her, he wanted her, and he wanted to hurt her as she had him. But, right then all Angel wanted was to kiss Buffy, to feel her in his arms. 

She melted in his embrace, clinging to him as if she wanted him to continue to kiss her, not as if she were the actual one to leave this time. But who had time for logical feelings? 

They didn’t say a word as Angel swept her into his arms, stalking to the car he rented. He placed her into the passenger seat and went around the other side, slamming the door and speeding off before Buffy had a chance to utter a word: either in greeting or in protest. 

The drive to the Galway Bay Hotel was done quickly and as quietly as they could manage. Angel wanted privacy for his inevitable confrontation with Buffy and hoped that the off-season allowed for it. If not it truly didn’t matter, he didn’t care what anyone thought or heard. Besides, the suite of rooms he book promised some measure of the privacy. 

The car screeched to a halt and Angel was out of the vehicle, moving around the car to open Buffy’s door before the slayer had a chance to do so herself. Quickly ushering her into the hotel and through to their rooms, Angel all the while kept a tight reign on his temper. 

There’d be plenty of time for that later. 

The second the door closed, locking automatically, he was on her. Angel hadn’t realized how starved he was for his mate, for her body, her blood, just her presence until she was back – willingly or not – in his arms. His lips found hers, tasting her own need as Buffy responded eagerly. 

There were things that needed to be said – a lot of things. But at the moment none of that mattered because they were both safe and in each other’s arms. Crashing to the bed, Buffy pinned beneath him, Angel whispered, “You left, why?” 

“So you couldn’t,” she said, arching her neck to the side and exposing her mark to his mouth. 

Understanding her reasons yet not really, for he thought they worked through that enough to continue working through that, Angel growled. “Don’t do it again.” And continued to work her body. 

Clothes were swiftly discarded, strewn around the room in their haste to touch and feel. When Angel entered her, Buffy cried out in completion and moved with him, faster, harder, locking eyes with him. And exposing her neck once more, even as her blunt teeth formed into fangs and her tongue licked the side of his neck. 

Later, both drowsy from their coupling and sated on each other’s blood, they slept, wrapped securely in each other’s arms. 

When the sun shone through the closed drapes, casting faint reddish shadows around the room, Angel woke. Alone. His howl of anger and frustration was heard clear across the hotel. 

And Angelus just smirked. Next time maybe the soul should try chains.
~~~~~~~~~~
A week passed, ten days before Angel caught up with Buffy again.

She was slick; he’d give her that. Instead of flying across to England then from there to Belgium, she took a ferry from Ireland, then hired a fishing boat to cross the channel. The Eurorail took her from Dunkirk to the tiny country where she disappeared for two days. When Angel found her again he was beyond rage. 

“You can’t keep running, lover,” he told her as she window-shopped. 

Angel knew she could feel him, knew that Buffy knew that he’d been tracking her across half of Europe. And knew that the reason she allowed him to finally catch up with her was because she needed his blood once more. He’d curse Angelus for creating that need in her but without that link Angel was afraid he’d lose Buffy for longer than a week. 

“I’m not running, Angel,” Buffy said deliberately using his name. She needed his body as much as she did her blood and desperately didn’t want to leave him again. But a bone deep fear of abandonment kept her moving. 

If she left first, then she couldn’t be left. It was as simple as that. She had Angelus for company, and for some seriously mind-blowing organisms, he was all too happy to help her achieve. If she didn’t need Angel’s blood Buffy wondered if she really would disappear forever. 

“Then what do you call leaving our bed and disappearing?” He stalked to her as he asked, knowing her answer, not caring. 

So he thought that once he found her she’d stay. So he thought that once she stayed they could talk, finally really talk about all they had to talk about. So he’d been wrong. He wasn’t making that mistake twice. 

He’d unwittingly taken the advice of his demon. The magickally enhanced chains were waiting in the castle hotel room he procured. 

“I call that…self-preservation,” Buffy asserted as she faced him down. Want and need warred with fear.  “You taught me that when you walked away from me after we blew up the mayor.” 

“I call it cowardice,” Angel countered and could have sworn he heard the echoing laughter of Angelus. Either he really had spent to much time with the demon and just expected that kind of response, or Angelus was stronger than Angel suspected. 

“Really?” Buffy asked, ignoring the echoing laughter of Angelus as her demon sat back and enjoyed the show. “I guess if anyone would know you would, so who am I to disagree?” 

“Not your best rejoinder, love.” Angel said and moved the last step to her, towering over her for a second before he wrapped his strong arms around her. 

They were going to have a little talk, make love until neither could move for a week, and figure out just how long eternity was – not necessarily in that or any order – if he had to chain her to the bed for the previous stated eternity. 

The castle hotel was something Buffy pictured Angelus living in and the demon didn’t disagree with her mental assessment. So caught up in looking around the rooms, she failed to notice Angel moving her towards the bed. The second the first manacle clasped around her wrist, Buffy began struggling. 

Cursing, shouting, threatening did nothing to deter Angel who smirked his entire way through chaining her up. Realizing that she was still fully clothed, Angel shrugged and simply ripped the material from her body. Angelus howled in laughter and lust. Buffy was not amused. 

“Now then. Let’s talk for a moment, shall we?” Angel said as courteously as he could, considering her blood and body called to him. But he was determined Buffy stay with him this time. He loved her and he was determined to show her that. 

“You’re afraid I’ll leave you again when I really didn’t want to in the first place. Understandable, but really, Buffy. You know my reasons for leaving, know how close we were to losing control and making love again. Can you honestly say that it wasn’t for the best?” 

Snarling, Buffy shot back, “Best? For whom, Angel? You and Cordelia? You and Darla? Really, tell me. Tell me you missed me so damn much. Tell me you would be with me now if it hadn’t been another damn apocalypse.” She struggled against the chains even as she struggled to get the words out. Sure, they’d had this fight before, but nothing – to Buffy’s way of thinking – had been resolved. Besides, she wanted to hurt him as he had her. Petty and childish, maybe, but Buffy was hurting.

And when she hurt, she lashed out. 

“You wanted me to fuck, Angel, so I did; who was I to doubt the wisdom of my older wiser more experienced lover? It certainly wasn’t as if I had a whole hell of a lot to compare with when it came to whether you were right or wrong. But I distinctly remember telling you the error of your ways and offering yet again my heart, love and faithfulness to only you. You tossed it and me away like yesterdays garbage. Color me stunned Angel, the infallible now has issues with his wisdom of the time. And wow, it only took him four years to come to this brilliant piece of idiocy.” 

Calm, Angel told himself, he needed to remain calm; the seething anger that clouded his vision wasn’t listening to any calmness, though. This was to be a rational conversation between the two of them. That lasted all of three seconds and he climbed slowly atop her, stretching his length over hers and grinding into her moist heat. Calmness and rationality flew out the window. 

“You dare to throw that into my face? You who slept with Riley for over a year and Spike? You’re allowed to move on, allowed to have low points in your life but I’m not? A little hypocritical, isn’t that, baby?” 

“I never claimed to love Spike,” she said, willing her body not to respond to his. Her hips arched into him anyway, cradling his hardness. 

“Neither did I,” Angel smirked but she cut him off before he could finish. 

“And I would have never been with them in the first place,” she added, “If you hadn’t ran like a coward.” She said, throwing his cowardice statement back in his face. She was repeating herself, Buffy realized but was too angry and scared to do anything else. “A little hypocritical don’t you think to throw them in my face and play dog in the manger now when you shoved me into their arms in the first damn place.” 

 “I never claimed to love anyone else but you. You know that, I know you do. I can see it in your eyes, taste it on your skin. Why fight it?” 

“So you say, but then you’ve said something similar before. And I know how that ended. You’ll forgive me if I’m wary about ripping my heart out again for your fickle whimsy; face it you have commitment problems, Angel,” Buffy said instead. “I don’t want your obligation or guilt. I deserve to be loved without reservation or the newest imposed conditions you decided to enforce on me tomorrow or next month or next year without my consent. Assuming you don’t decide it’s in my best interest that you cut and run again.” 

Because it doesn’t matter, because you’ll leave me again, because you never stay, because being alone – with Angelus – was better than being left by you again and again. Because I’m scared, because I want you so much, love you still, so much, that I can’t take the chance again. 

He laughed then, harsh and unyielding, and not at all the response Buffy expected. Deciding that talking just wasn’t working, Angel changed tactics. He’d show her instead. Throughout the night, Angel did exactly that, joining with her again and again but never releasing her from the manacles. 

“I love you, Buffy,” he whispered before finally succumbing to sleep. And smiled at her reply, “I love you, too, Angel.”

In the morning, he awoke alone.

Cursing Angel glared at the chains that rested against the bed and didn’t bother to wonder how his mate, with all the power of all the slayers running through her, broke the magick on them. Instead, he schooled his anger into something productive. After he trashed the room that was. 

He tracked her to Luxembourg, to the French Rivera, to Italy and Malta and north to Switzerland and Germany. Poland, Russia, across the steeps to Mongolia and several stops in South East Asia during the rainy season, catching her every fifteen days or so. It was similar at every stop, they shouted, they made love, they drank from the other. 

And Buffy always left. 

Angel always called Dawn before following his mate to let her sister know they were both safe. 

He never told Dawn that Buffy was running – from the past, from him, from herself. All he said was that they still had a lot to work out and he hoped everything was going well with her. That everyone was safe and as well as could be expected, considering the things they faced every day. 

Angel didn’t bother to wonder how he always managed to sleep through her leaving, even when he chained her to him instead of their bed. She had power running through her he doubted either of them would ever understand; it was to be expected she’d be able to leave him without his knowledge. 

In Sydney, Angel had enough. 

“If you don’t want me anymore, Buffy, say so.” He said after they made love. He was tired. Tired of chasing her, tired of arguing with her over the same things over and over again. He was tired of knowing she didn’t trust him or his love. 

“I’m tired of chasing you and I’m tired of you running from me as if I were the last evil monster on Earth. You need my blood and I’d never withhold that from you. But I won’t stay where I’m not wanted. All you have to do is say so.” 

Buffy was quiet for long, long minutes. “I love you Angel and I need you,” she finally admitted. “Don’t go. Don’t break my heart again.” 

Tightening his arms around her, Angel smiled. The first genuine and relieved smile he showed in months. “Never, beloved.” 

Staying in Sydney, they finally talked. Not shouted at each other, not yelled over the other until whatever verbal progress they could possibly have made was lost in the din. But talked.

Angel finally broke down and mourned his son. He wept in Buffy’s arms for the childhood he missed out on and for the baby he couldn’t protect. He mourned the loss of all the time they could have had and hoped Connor was well, wherever he was. Buffy held him throughout and couldn’t stop the tears that formed. 

“What about your LA team?” She asked, still not daring to really believe he was staying this time. 

“What about them?” 

“Well, they’re your team, your friends…” She trailed off and held her breath. Sure he followed her across the world, but…maybe she really was being a little  unreasonable. Maybe? 

Angelus snorted in amusement then went back to his usual pastime when Buffy and Angel were together: Enjoying the show and egging on for more sex. Vicarious was his new choice word.

“So?” He asked and looked at her. His tears were dried but Buffy could still see the grief in his eyes. It was carefully masked, but she knew him all to well. “Too much has changed, they don’t need me, and they certainly can’t accept me now, again. Gunn wants me – or a part of me – dead for what Angelus did to him and Fred. Wesley can’t stand the sight of me, Lorne…I’m assuming he’s okay?” In all the excitement Angel forgot he left Lorne in Angelus’ penthouse. 

“Yeah, I told Giles about him and he and Robin went back to LA.” She shrugged. “I guess he’s fine now. Didn’t you tell me he wasn’t in danger of dieing unless his body was separated from his head or something?” 

“Yeah,” Angel said then finished, “Besides, you’re all I ever really wanted. And now I have you. But what about you? There’re the potentials and Dawn. Giles, Faith.” 

“Faith has Giles and Wesley, I suppose. She’ll be fine as the slayer. As for the potentials, they have the three of them to train the next slayer, they don’t need me. Dawn…I want Dawn to have a normal life, or as normal a one as she can get. With me around it’ll be harder. Besides, it’ll start to look odd when she ages and I don’t.” 

Ah, now everything was coming together. “You don’t want to watch anymore of your friends die. Knowing that you’re immortal, you don’t want to watch them age and die.” 

Buffy hated that Angel knew her so well. “Yeah, well, maybe.” She mumbled then realized it was the same with him. 

That thought opened them both up emotionally and they spent the next week alternately talking and making love.
~~~~~~~~~~
As the moon shone down on them, casting her bright light over the balcony they sat on and the water they watched, Buffy wondered if this was what the rest of time was going to be like for them. 

“Eternity is a long time, Angel,” she said, “are you sure you want to spend it with me?” 

“Of course,” he replied, kissing her bare shoulder and tightening his arms about her waist. “Besides, I doubt it’ll be boring. There’s always something to fight. And if what the Ancients, or whoever it was that helped Connor to ascend were, are correct, we still have the First to worry about.” 

He turned Buffy in his arms and smiled, a wicked grin that showed her how much he wanted her. And how much he loved her. Lips a hairsbreadth away, he whispered, “In the mean time, I’m sure there are ways to keep ourselves occupied, wouldn’t you say?” 

 

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