Failte! Welcome to the archives of the Online Irish Pub. This is your warning so please pay attention. This is about a pub, albeit online. If you get offended by foul language, sex, graphic explanations of bodily functions or by anything else you are likely to run into in a pub, please leave now. Drinking and babysitting don't mix. Thank you.
| hiss raaar....... celticsimon
(18/M/Ireland) 9/27/01 2:28 pm
wow, quit the bitchy comments everyone. save them for real conversation. can anyone help me with my setting up of Newsgroups? im stuck. keeps going, server cannot be found and the like....
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| Re: hiss raaar....... joeleogue
9/27/01 5:43 pm
you'd know all obut bitchy comments.you slut.
damn you anyway Simon you're silly computer game about nothing has gotten me addicted and im not studying.
which i should really seeing as im doin my leaving cert. ill fail get no qualifications and end up working in McDonalds cleaning kiddie puke off the plastic Ronald Mc Donald party seats and it'll be ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!
This Is a Reply to: Msg 988 by celticsimon
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"Interesting fact: The custom of toasting has been called not but an excuse for debauchery, throughout history; it was made illegal in colonial Massachusetts, twice. The first time the law didn't quite take, so they had to repeat it 11 years down the road."
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| Re: hiss raaar....... pretty_ak
(32/F/America) 9/27/01 6:49 pm
Your even better than Jonnoduhdabitinandsee cause it's easy to mistake you for a rational man.
I used to work at McDonalds and if you don't just hush about it I will be hiring some very large thugs to bend you over the plastic seats and then let's see who pukes where
err. . something like that
That doesn't count as a bitchy comment does it? I would hate for Simon to spank me or anything.
This Is a Reply to: Msg 989 by joeleogue
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| SPEAKING OF SLUTS: pretty_ak
(32/F/ALASKA) 9/27/01 6:52 pm
where IS jonno?
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I have a new suggestions for a contest pretty_ak
(32/F/ALASKA) 9/27/01 6:59 pm
Instead of Guess The Bottom (or butt) we'll have one called Guess The Genitalia .. and if Joe still can't figure out who is what sex then as the Grand Prize we will allow the winner to round him up and either shoot or spank him at dawn.
Just a thought
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| Now you've done it .. pretty_ak
(32/F/ALASKA) 9/28/01 4:27 pm
Tell everyone to stop being bitchy and we are back to no one posting. Except for me, anyway. And I am too tired to be well and truly bitchy.
My neck hurts. Does anyone care? I demand sympathy!!!!! Please??????
I 've been doing exercises for my back, which I threw out during my last chat with STW .. or am I only lying? ... only it's one of those things .. if any of you have been properly f_cked up and needed to go to a chiropractor over it I am sure you know what I mean. I am getting straightened out alright but in the interem it hurts WAY worse than it did just from being injured.
Don't ask me to put my legs like that again, fiend. Come to think of it, I can't really see how that would improve my typing speed .. or why the cam needed to be at that angle. You are so weird!
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| ouch joeleogue
9/28/01 6:17 pm
so what's with the anti- joe comments? is it because of my McDonalds bashing?Look its a fine establishment its just i dont wanna a career there ok?and ha ha very funny but i can tell the diff. between male and female genitalia.
Most of the time.
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The man lurches towards your stool, pointing and screaming "I knew the aliens were here .. I KNEW it!" and then he falls, gibbering, to the floor where he remains uncomfortably cuddled up to, and drooling on, your left ankle.
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| Re: ouch pretty_ak
(32/F/ALASKA) 9/28/01 10:47 pm
Yeah .. well, let me know next time you can't . .. I have some ..uhm... ahem .. GIRL friends .. yeah that's the ticket. . real live FEmales .. that would love to meet you. Mmm hmmm .. only they want me to be there with a video camera .. but really they are females .. honest .. you don't mind that they are sort of .. errmmm .. flat chested, do ya?
Now you are in big trouble. I'm gonna get in trouble with Simon again .. something about this not being a Smut Hut ... I'll sing you a song, wotthy of jonnodaslag's band Crotch Rot Rosy Palm and her Five Mary Sisters or whatever their name is:
The Slut don't want no smut hut .. no smut hut ...
He'll be kicking your butt if he catches you cutting down his slutting town,
oh yeah .. .but he really knows his way around
the camera
and what he does will flam'ya
so where does he get off .. heh heh
complaining about the smut
smut hut oh yeah .. smut hut .. hahaha .. smut hut
Should I apologize now or wait and let him spank me when I get there ... hmmmmmmmmmm ... .
This Is a Reply to: Msg 994 by joeleogue
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| Re: ouch pretty_ak
(32/F/ALASKA) 9/28/01 10:53 pm
And no dear, not precisely .. it's not anti-McDonalds that bugs me .. it's a suck place to work .. unless, from what I hear, you are Russian. Those poor, poor people.
But ... it's not a shame to work there, ya know. It supported me and my kids when my husband was out blowing all his money on other women .. and most of my money, too, come to think of it. So .. I get touchy about people thinking they's too good for it, ya know?
Shhhh ... horrible horrible. . sexual frustration. .. doesn't anyone ever get drunk or shag in the alley or nothing? What kind of pub is this?
Buy me a drink Joe?
This Is a Reply to: Msg 994 by joeleogue
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nuff sed jonnodadub
9/30/01 11:47 am
<<<< read over dere. nuff sed
(referencing the founder's message which he had changed. Only apparently it wasn't nuff sed or we'd still remember it!)
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| Early Morning Lunacy pretty_ak
(32/F/ALASKA) 9/30/01 11:50 am
Sing a song of Solomon
a pocketful of pie
nine and 16 bluebirds
baked in some rye
When it all came open
The birds were seen to boil
and wasn't that the very thing
To whet appetite of a Royal
Crazy yes? It is the start of a poem ... how it ends is anyone's guess.
Good morning my little frugal-bears! I am up early and ready for a lovely day of .. oh who am I kidding ..
barkeep barkeep ... give me another of those peachy drinks and send me to bed!
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| This means war celticsimon
(18/M/Ireland) 10/1/01 3:35 pm
YOU are dead.
This Is a Reply to: Msg 998 by jonnodadub
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| Ouch 2: Jonno's return. joeleogue
10/1/01 4:09 pm
well if it isnt the artist formally know as prisioner #25790. How are you doing? LOVED the decor job you did on the club you simply MUST put me in touch with your interior designer!
sarcasm jonno.
and oh yeh "homo-joe"
thats low, man VERY low
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| Vague insults ensue: pretty_ak
(32/F/ALASKA) 10/1/01 4:52 pm
Oooh ... all praise Jonno the Manly Man
He's a man .. a real man .. a man's man ... at least, that's what the man he's the man's man of told me .. oh man!
Hmm.... is the proper response to someone calling you a homo "It takes one to know one?" or is it, maybe "You are what you eat?" .. "Don't cry over spilt milk?" (nasty)
Hmm ... so .. I don't know about this calling Joe any such thing. Sounds like sour grapes to me. Or something similar. Like .. there was this guy .. and this is a true story okay? There was this guy .. who coinkidink .. his name started with a J .. and he used to dress up like a lady .. and he was coming onto this guy .. and the guy wouldn't put out .. so he went around tellling eveyone that the other guy was a fag cause he wasn't interested in people dressed like women. Which didn't really make a lot of sense .. but that didn't stop everyone from believing it ... and really the whole time the guy was just jealous because the other dude WASN'T a fag and then one time at band camp I took my piccolo and I .. ahem .....
Anyway, jonno .. and not to tell tales on anyone .. but your mama said he couldn't be a fag cause he shags her better than you do. At least, I think it was your momma .. she was bent over and the view was otherwise obscured .. but she did know a lot about people named john.
It's no wonder you get the club now .. I know you are world famous. Why everywhere I go .. restaurants, hotels, even most department stores, there's a john.
That being said, I have to say, I have to admire your balls. Thank goodness there is nothing much in the way there to obscure that view.
Okay. I'm done.
And in my defense I can only say my arm hurts like hell and Simon The Wonderful is .. well .. you know .. wonderful.
It was a good laugh though. Which I needed. Only now you have me all jittery ... shall we all sing a rousing chorus of "We dont' need no civil war" or whatever the fucking actual name of that blighty little song is ..... and fall into a drunken stupor??????? K?
War is bad .. bad .. bud ... mmmmmmmm ... good bud .. mmm .. oh .. I am sorry .. I got confused again. HHhehehehheheh !!!
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Re: Vague insults ensue: .... ahem .. pretty_ak
(32/F/ALASKA) 10/1/01 6:47 pm
You realize, of course, that I still luv your scag ass and would gladly slip off to the alley with you anytime .. I might bitch slap you for a bad performance, but baby, I am THERE .. lol
This Is a Reply to: Msg 1002 by pretty_ak
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| What in the hell happened? steve_reeve_1
(39/M/Alaska and Ireland) 10/1/01 10:10 pm
Rha .. err. .. Rand. .err. .Ruby is laughing her ass off .. which is a damn shame cause it's quite a nice ass which IF RIPPER EVER FINISHED THE CONTEST you would all be able to witness for yourself ... there are insults, threats of war, vague references to writing which I don't understand .. I feel left out.
Oh well .. at least I have her ass to keep me company
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| Re: What in the hell happened? pretty_ak
(32/F/ALASKA) 10/1/01 10:24 pm
Oh .. I'm sorry .. we all had an orgy in the Pub bathroom ... girl/girl in the girls room, boy/boy in the boys room, straight people in the hallway in betwwen the two and cameras everywhere...
Did we forget to call you? Ooh .. I am soooooo sorry!
This Is a Reply to: Msg 1004 by steve_reeve_1
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| Re: What in the hell happened? celticsimon
(18/M/Ireland) 10/2/01 6:19 pm
And u didnt call ME!? how could you? i propose we all call jonno a name (or something else all grown up which is just as sophisticated). Then he would get a taste of his own medicine. YEAH! MOCK THE PRICK! GRIND HIM INO TTHE STORY EARTH DAMP SOIL! AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGG AAAAAAAARRRRR BAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAaaaaaa aaaa aa aa a aa a a a. ahem. -sorry.
This Is a Reply to: Msg 1005 by pretty_ak
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| Re: What in the hell happened? pretty_ak
(32/F/ALASKA) 10/2/01 7:16 pm
Oh dear .. that wasn't you????? Oh my .. oh .. I am afraid I owe someone an apology .. I'll see if their face left an imprint. . that might give me a clue as to their identity. .....
...... .... .......... ......... errrr ....
oh my! ..... ho ... errufff. .... eeek ... uhm ... does anyone know where Margaret Thatcher has been lately?
This Is a Reply to: Msg 1006 by celticsimon
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Re: What in the hell happened? pretty_ak
(32/F/ALASKA) 10/2/01 7:20 pm
I propose that you forget the worded insult and go right to the forcing of biological obscene favors upon him. Yes, yes .. that is the only way he will ever learn. So .. I'll set up the camera because we will want legal documentation - heh heh - and you and Joe can take turns punishing him all the while yelling things like " Call me a homo will you? I'll show you homo .. take that!"
This message brought to you by the Public Council For The Betterment of Society Through Biologically Obscene Punishments Administered To The Criminal Element of Upper Back Brace Drive
Our motto is: We may not always reach our goal, but we always get it in the end
This Is a Reply to: Msg 1006 by celticsimon
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