Pub Message Archives 181-200

Failte! Welcome to the archives of the Online Irish Pub. This is your warning so please pay attention. This is about a pub, albeit online. If you get offended by foul language, sex, graphic explanations of bodily functions or by anything else you are likely to run into in a pub, please leave now. Drinking and babysitting don't mix. Thank you.

Re: ahem... whats this place turned into rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 8/12/01 1:38 am SIIIIIMMMMMONNNNNNN!!!!!! Hurrah It's Simon God help us all - the most sane, pristine and wonderous of us all. Hello Simon This Is a Reply to: Msg 744 by celticsimon

Simon: rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 8/12/01 1:43 am Here's a link I ran into. The person wants to know what this French April Fool's Card says. Can you translate it? I wanna know too. http://www.bitwise.net/~ken-bill/april1.htm xxx Thanks

Yet another dumb joke rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 8/12/01 1:49 am Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Raymond, decide to go on a picnic. So Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches. The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles take 10 whole days to get there. By the time they do arrive,everyone's exhausted. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one. He takes out the sodas and says, 'Alright, Steve, gimme the bottle opener.' 'I didn't bring the bottle opener,' Steve says. 'I thought you packed it.' Joe gets worried. He turns to Raymond. 'Raymond, do you have the bottle opener?' Naturally, Raymond doesn't have it, so the turtles are stuck ten miles away from home without soda. Joe & Steve beg Raymond to turn back home and retrieve it, but Raymond flatly refuses, knowing that they'll eat everything by the time he gets back. After about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Raymond to go, swearing on their great-grand turtles graves that they won't touch the food. So, Raymond sets off down the road, slow and steadily. Twenty days pass but no Raymond. Joe and Steve are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is a promise. Another day passes, and still no Raymond, but a promise is a promise. After three more days pass without Raymond in sight, Steve starts getting restless. 'I NEED FOOD!' he says with a hint of dementia in his voice. 'NO!' Joe retorts. 'We promised.' Five more days pass. Joe realizes that Raymond probably skipped out to the diner down the road, so the two turtles weakly lift the lid, get a sandwich, and open their mouths to eat. But suddenly, right at that instant, Raymond pops out from behind a rock, and says,'I knew it!, I'm not bloody going.'

"Are you takin da provurbial mick?"¬ jonnodadub A guy goes to a bar and sees a big jar of 5 dollar bills in it. He asks the bartender 'What's with the money?' the bartender replies 'we're having a contest. You have to put in 5 dollars in the jar. then you have to complete 3 tasks. If you pass, you get all the money in the jar' 'ah what the hell. lets give it a try.' says the man, and puts the five dollars in the jar. 'first' says the bartender, 'you have to drink a large glass of tequila without making a face. second, there is a vicious rottweiler outside with a sore tooth. you have to pull out the sore tooth. third, upstairs there is an old woman who has never had sex in her life. you have to have sex with her. ok?' 'fine' says the man. the bartender gives him the glass of tequila. the man drinks the whole thing without making a face. Now drunk, he goes outside. the bartender here's lots of yelling and barking. when the man comes back, he is all shredded up. he asks 'ok, where's the woman with the sore tooth?'

Re: ahem... whats this place turned into steve_reeve_1 (39/M/Alaska and Ireland) 8/12/01 9:54 pm No doubt. Don't let that cretin talk that way. Besides, how can you be too young to be a daddy if you are old enough to get it to work??? Wait.. are you in objection to the baby comment? lol That was mean. Still, worse workloads to be consigned to than that. Okay. I am a cybersex scuttle dirthole dweller. But I would never intentionally turn this club into one of those sort of places and I would gladly pummel anyone who did. Mainly because Ruby rolls her eyes at me and says "Steve .. just leave it alone. Can't there be one place on yahoo that's NOT about sex." Are you married Simon? Do you want to be? Shhhh .. don't tell her I asked. She'll beat me. This Is a Reply to: Msg 744 by celticsimon

Re: ahem... whats this place turned into rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 8/13/01 10:10 pm NO DOUBT. Stupid jokes, pics of butts flying everywhere, no one even bothers to take out the trash .. why .. why ..why ... I am SOOOOOOOOO - oooOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooo ooo offended that I am OUTAHERE Check ya Simon Baby! This Is a Reply to: Msg 744 by celticsimon

If Ruby leaves I'm gone too RandyLeeStone (30/F/Anchorage, Alaska) 8/14/01 12:40 am This really is revolting!!!!

Hi. New member here pretty_ak 8/14/01 6:50 pm Yeah right .. well, I decided as long as those two bitches were gonna leave this club might be worth joining now. Promise I shall behave in a most forthright and non-pornographic fashion. Except for the use of the word bitch and possible cybering with all the ever-so-young and studly lads that are members here. Haha?

Check the last three posts. In Rubynese, all added together, they mean: I get too much junk mail and my ex has found out my address so I am changing accounts again.

Oh joy .. another fine week ... pretty_ak 8/16/01 9:13 am of posting to myself .mmmmmmmmm Nothing I like better than to cause yet another rift in my personality just to give me someone knew to talk to ... ta trum tah teee .... *thumb twiddling ensues*

Hello pretty_ak 8/16/01 6:16 pm I am in the midst of active acts of aggression against founders and online club members alike. Be glad to apologize if they come and post a request for one.

Hi Auntie Lettuce, wait I dont know you. pixie_15_2000 (16/F/Palmer, Alaska) 8/17/01 4:09 am Hi auntie lettuce that i supposedly dont know. I am not Arlettas niece, k everybody? Just remember that, I am just a random person that happened to correctly guess the name Arletta as being hers and am now claiming not to be her niece.lol By the way, I am now 17 as of July 29.

Re: Hello pixie_15_2000 (16/F/Palmer, Alaska) 8/17/01 4:10 am Auntie I am stalking you. grrrr. This Is a Reply to: Msg 760 by pretty_ak

Cell 13

Long Time No See! green_eyed_mist (28/F/Great Lakes region, USA) 8/17/01 9:20 am Hi everyone... I haven't had Internet access for the longest time, so I thought I'd just pop in to say "hi" to ye all! It looks like you've been busy and I've got a lot of catching up to do. Can't wait to read the jokes, I need a good laugh... By the way, I *finally* have a picture up in my profile. I need to find a better pic, but that one will suffice for now! Catch ya all later. Peace.

Re: Hello the_god_of_liquid_silver 8/17/01 3:22 pm Get you, little baby doll. Stalking your Auntie. This isn't that kind of club!!!! Anyway, we deal harshly with persons interjecting personal reality so please just don't. Next thing yoy know my reprobate mother will show. aaaaaaagggghhhhhhh I don't want her to show anyone the baby pics and talk about my first pooh .. aagggghhhhh Can we have a ban on all family members???? This Is a Reply to: Msg 762 by pixie_15_2000

Re: Long Time No See! the_god_of_liquid_silver 8/17/01 3:24 pm marry me you vixen marry me and we will run away to Tahiti .. or some other land I can spell the name of .. and sip rum coconut punch in the hot sun until our heads swim with the same dizziness I feel everytime I see that you have typed yet another sweet post to help us wile away our otherwise despairing hours. This Is a Reply to: Msg 763 by green_eyed_mist

Re: Hello the_god_of_liquid_silver 8/17/01 3:26 pm I love a good active act of agression. I have fanstasies about you acting aggressively all the time. Marry me and let us run away and join some South American Guerilla troop. We shall make love under the glare of bombs bursting overhead and sleep peacefully, lulled by the trill of machine gun fire. This Is a Reply to: Msg 760 by pretty_ak

Re: Salut à tous les deux the_god_of_liquid_silver 8/17/01 3:29 pm I love your madcap sense of humor and your bountiful full lips. Marry me Simon. I will get a sex change if need be. Or you can. I don't care. So long as I can be by your side, listening to your witty conversation and you would favor me, whispering your multi-lingual words of love in my ear. Dude. Don't take it harshly. I am proposing to everyone. Didn't want anyone to feel left out. This Is a Reply to: Msg 699 by celticsimon

The man lurches towards your stool, pointing and screaming "I knew the aliens were here .. I KNEW it!" and then he falls, gibbering, to the floor where he remains uncomfortably cuddled up to, and drooling on, your left ankle.

Re: Hello the_god_of_liquid_silver 8/17/01 3:31 pm *sigh* You are much too young for me. I shall stop aging and wait patiently for you, my darling, and then I must beg you to consent to give me your hand in marriage. You are my light, my life, I love your toes and the way they curl when stray dogs approach too close. Be mine, little one. I shall wait for you all eternity if need be. Fortunately I believe in polygamy .. and then some. This Is a Reply to: Msg 762 by pixie_15_2000

TO ALL THE MEMBERS HERE the_god_of_liquid_silver 8/17/01 3:34 pm MARRY ME .. Let me make an honest woman, man, werebeast, dog, cat, rat, elephant or kangaroo out of you. Thrill me. Kiss me and tell me that you are my love .. that you will walk with me down that magic aisle that leads to happiness and earthly bliss. Be mine. I beg you. Marry me. Let us make ourselves into a happy family, united in joy and respect, and agree never to part. Marry me, my love .. marry me

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