Failte! Welcome to the archives of the Online Irish Pub. This is your warning so please pay attention. This is about a pub, albeit online. If you get offended by foul language, sex, graphic explanations of bodily functions or by anything else you are likely to run into in a pub, please leave now. Drinking and babysitting don't mix. Thank you.
Contest rubytuesdayschild
(32/F/Nearby ........) 6/19/01 1:14 pm
This is to set the rules of the contest straight or at least more firmly into their crookedness.
All pics are to be sent to jackie_blue_ripper_booh@yahoo.com
He will be the one keeping the list of whose butt is whose (or in the case of obvious downloads whose pic of a butt is representative of them)
The contest begins today, with the exception of pics already uploaded which will remain in the contest.
Ripper can be trusted with the pics because 1)Ruby knows where he lives and he is frightened of her 2)He is A-Sexual, having been married for too many years to be anything else sexual at all,ever, except during the scheduled "It's Alright To Be A Man, You Are In Alcapulco" holidays.
3)He already knows most of the people involved who have entered so far and so is ineligible to be included as a guesser.
The Contest Proper:
All members who are interested, please send a message to Ripper at the email address : jackie_blue_ripper_booh@yahoo.com and let him know that you are and please do this by July 15, 2001. Either send a pic of your bottom at this time or let him know when it will be sent. It must be uploaded by September 5th, 2001 and that is when guessing begins
On September 6th, 2001 Ripper will post a list of each member who participated in the contest
Each of the members who participated will then
1) Write a nasty comment to each member who didn't participate
2)Make a list of their own - pairing up numbers of pics with the names of participating members, guessing which picture of a bottom belongs to which member.
3)These lists will then be posted by the guessing member.
4) The contest, guessing portion, ends on September 30th, 1999 (hah, just seeing if you were paying attention!) The guessing portion of the contest ends on September 30th, 2001 at which time Ripper will post the correct answers and the member or members with the most correct guesses will be announced.
5) At this time a prize of indeterminate nature will be offered the winner(s) who will probably refuse it, deriding it as chintzy and carefully un-thought out.
Any suggestions on the grand prize? Keep in mind people that we all live a great deal of distance from most of the rest of the members and, quite frankly, I don't believe in recieving mail from anyone ever and have found this a way to live a long, healthy life. One sadly bereft of Publisher Clearing House envelopes, but fairly happy all the same. So ... I was thinking that Simon, being ineligible to guess, and gone, should send the winner(s) a pic of his little tushy. There are many men against that though, so .. any suggestions?????
Re: Contest-arrrrr shenanigangirl
(43/F/West Coast Canada) 6/20/01 12:55 am
I haven't any pics of me ain backside.... would yez accept one of the dog's? ;o)
This Is a Reply to: Msg 633 by rubytuesdayschild
Hello All RandyLeeStone
(30/F/Anchorage, Alaska) 6/20/01 1:23 pm
Just joined'! Then I read a post about a dog butt and now I am not so sure I should be here. What kind of club is this anyway????
Re: Hello All ;o) shenanigangirl
(43/F/West Coast Canada) 6/20/01 1:38 pm
it 's a verrrry foolish one! The context of the dog bum comment is that there is a "bare arse" pic contest going on and I'm trying desperately to figure out a way to get out of it... me bum's not me best profile don't ye know.... Can't put makeup on it - well not with any great degree of success anyway.... back to the topic at hand - as near as I can tell this is a collection of motley misfits - and I mean that as a compliment!!! who come here to find like - or maybe not so like minds.... arrrr!
This Is a Reply to: Msg 635 by RandyLeeStone
Re: Welcome singleinanchorage!!!! singleinanchorage
(39/M/Anchorage, AK) 6/20/01 1:56 pm
Not a problem on the spaghetti. So how was Seward. Did you see any creatures swimming and scooting? Did you join them?
This Is a Reply to: Msg 632 by rubytuesdayschild
Re: Welcome singleinanchorage!!!! rubytuesdayschild
(32/F/Nearby ........) 6/20/01 6:21 pm
Jellyfish, and otters, and kittywakes, and puffins, and I remember the proper name and classification of not a one of them.
No. Didn't join them. They have better fur than me. Well, not the birds .. but their wingspan was better .. and not the jellyfish, but their thighs flap less in the breeze . .lol .. gotta go
This Is a Reply to: Msg 637 by singleinanchorage
Re: Hello All ;o) rubytuesdayschild
(32/F/Nearby ........) 6/20/01 6:23 pm
You don't actually have to post a pic of your bare bottom. You really dont' have to post at all. I mean, as far as entering the contest. But if you do want to, it doesn't have to be nude.
Relax darling!
This Is a Reply to: Msg 636 by shenanigangirl
Re: Hello All ;o) - feeewwwfff! shenanigangirl
(43/F/West Coast Canada) 6/20/01 9:40 pm
I'll see what I can hunt up!
This Is a Reply to: Msg 639 by rubytuesdayschild
bare bottoms singleinanchorage
(39/M/Anchorage, AK) 6/21/01 6:21 pm
But they are encouraged never the less
Re: bare bottoms rubytuesdayschild
(32/F/Nearby ........) 6/22/01 2:14 pm
In which case, we begin with you. Drop em and smile, baby!
This Is a Reply to: Msg 641 by singleinanchorage
'Trouble Causing' rubytuesdayschild
(32/F/Nearby ........) 6/23/01 7:51 pm
Do you think that it's alright to list 'Trouble Causing' as a hobby?
I'm not sure if it would even be right. I mean, I have been accused of liking to cause trouble, but I don't think that it's a fair accusation.
For instance, there was this one time where this guy, he wrote to me a lot .. a lot, a lot .. and he asked me to run away with him to the Cat's Paw or something like that .. darling, run away with me to the Cat's Paw ... he said it was a quote from something or someone worth quoting. Yeah, right! So, anyway, he lived in England somewhere and his mom was from Ireland. Only he told me he doesn't like Irish people which I think is a particularly nasty way to talk about your own mother.. but he said it really didn't mean anything about his mother. .. and my mom's from Texas, so who am I to judge??? Only it bugged me, because there is more than just national borders under discussion ... I mean you can't look at those long headed English people who always make me want to ask them how Tarzan is and whether they are for or against him, because I am pretty sure they are descended from ants .. right I will be back
and there are these stories about Tarzan and the Ant People ... and in some stories they help him and in others they attack him .. and really, those long, ovoid heads of theirs remind me of ants. At least the ones who go on about racial purity. Anyway, you can't be looking at them and then look at the purer Irish type people and go "Yeah, they look the same!" because they just don't. So it's not just that they live in a different country, right??? Right. So .. it's being racially prejudiced against your own blood or something and that is just FUCKING weird. My grandma's like that. She disowned me for being Irish. HELLO???? Is there logic involved in that??? She told me I was the Devil's own daughter and I reminded her that she is my Grandmother all the same "and what that says about your kinship to Satan, if I am his daughter, just doesn't bear thinking about." She didn't think it was funny ...
Anyway, he tells me this crap. The guy. Go back and read it again. I was talking about a guy. Really I was.
He tells me he doesn't like Irish people. Then he asked me to sing him a song. Tells me don't sing about Ireland or the Irish either. Says to sing him a song about Britain or England. So I did. And I believe it was a very charitable act, because I really wasn't in the gay, singing mood by then, I assure you. So I sing him this nice little song about Britain and then ..THEN .. he accuses me of being a trouble causer! Can you believe it? Now I ask you, do you see anything wrong with this song :
Battle of New Orleans
by Jimmy Driftwood
In 1814 we took a little trip,
along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip.
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans,
and we fought the bloody British in the town of New Orleans.
We fired our guns and the British kept a comin',
There wasn't 'bout as many as there was awhile ago.
We fired once more and they began to runnin'
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
Oh we looked down the river and we seen the British come.
There must have been a hundred of 'em beatin' on a drum.
They stepped so high and they made their bugles ring.
We stood behind our cotton bales and didnąt say a thing.
Old Hickory said we could take 'em by surprise,
if we didnąt fire our muskets till we looked 'em in the eyes.
We held our fire till we seen their faces well,
then we opened up our squirrel guns and gave 'em a little...Well....we...
....fired our guns and the British kept a comin',
There wasn't 'bout as many as there was awhile ago.
We fired once more and they began to runnin'
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
We fired our cannons till the barrels melted down,
then we grabbed an alligator and we fired another round.
We filled his head with cannonballs and powdered his behind,
and when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind.
We fired our guns and the British kept a comin',
There wasn't 'bout as many as there was awhile ago.
We fired once more and they began to runnin'
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
We fired our guns and the British kept a comin',
There wasn't 'bout as many as there was awhile ago.
We fired once more and they began to runnin'
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
There ain't no cussing in it. I think it's a nice little ditty and ssooooooooooo fun to sing. But for some reason the guy didn't think so.
Anyway, since I am always being unfairly accused of causing trouble I thought I might just list it as a hobby on my profile and thusly avoid any possible misunderstanding by the sort of people who enjoy making these accusations. What do you think?
By the way, I told many lovely people of Simon The Wonderful. I invited over 300 people to join today. I think I will check to see if any of them did.
Ola Simon The Wonderful! Put your thumb in the soup bowls!!! Oh wait ... better yet, keep the soup bowl warm, wet and ready because the spoon is ready to go swimming!!!
Ola duinesanja! Great to have you here! rubytuesdayschild
(32/F/Nearby ........) 6/23/01 8:05 pm
This is to cool. I have a ratio now of one member per day, if I invite over 300. Mmmm ... the glass is half full .. the glass is half full .. the glass is half full ....
Anyway, I am glad you joined. Tell us a bit about yourself!!!
"Hey BUDDDY!" the slobbering drunk spits at you, lurching against your shoulder "Stop me if you've heard this one:... hahhahhahrhherre .. it's a riot tisthis one is!!"
Then being a virtual drunk, he proceeded to not only tell the joke but go in for some blatant advertisment of the site it came from as well.
Re: bare bottoms singleinanchorage
(39/M/Anchorage, AK) 6/23/01 9:46 pm
Be carfulwhat you wish for. You may not want to see my bare bottom. Its been know to crack monitors.
This Is a Reply to: Msg 642 by rubytuesdayschild
Re: bare bottoms rubytuesdayschild
(32/F/Nearby ........) 6/23/01 10:35 pm
Yes ladies and gentlemen, he has the ass so nice they cracked it twice .. once was mirror imaging though, if you know what I mean!
Drop em baby. I dare ya ...
Hey .. anyone ever see 200 cigarettes? The movie, that is! I'm sorry .. but my mind is still whirling from the guy looking in her eyes and saying "I dare you to fuck me." I know she said it first, but who the hell cares. Freeooowwwwwwww!!!!!!!
This Is a Reply to: Msg 648 by singleinanchorage
Hello. I'm back. Be frightened! steve_reeve_1
6/24/01 7:04 pm
Johno, Simon ... there will be no sword fights over Ruby much less in her. Not unless I am invited to take pics!
Who gets the film rites .. rights?
I know, you probably wouldn't be interested anyway. You couldn't handle her!
Re: Hello. I'm back. Be frightened! celticsimon
(18/M/Ireland) 6/25/01 5:28 am
hello tis me once more on a fucking french keyboard paying 20f for this meesmy half an hour in a smelly room with people who look like they might attack me if i were to look at them. hmmm.
im ok. its my blessed day off. woohoo
well, whats the story.... i cant find the question mark. HELP! me going to spain tomorrow for da laugh. byeeeeeeee
This Is a Reply to: Msg 650 by steve_reeve_1
a questionaire shenanigangirl
(43/F/West Coast Canada) 6/26/01 3:13 pm
I got this questionaire emailed to me and thought it might be fun to find out more about each other.... Just copy it and replace my answers with your own...
1.Favorite Color? The color of the sky just at sunset in summer and the color of the early evening winter sky.
2.Relationship Status? Single (long time divorced) not particularly looking
3.Any children? I have a 23 year old son, a 21 year old daughter and a 19year old daughter who are the joy of my life and some of my best friends!
4.Do you have any Pets? My familiar is a four year old blue merle/tri color Border Collie - Tess and her daughter Jazz lives upstairs with my neighbor, but she comes down to visit every day.
5.Favorite type of Music? Celtic and jazz
6.Top 3 favorite Bands or Artists? Mary Black, Loreena McKennitt and the Fureys.
7.Your Favorite Hobbies? Reading sci fi and fantasy, training dogs, riding(horses), walking.
8.Top 3 Favorite Foods? Chocolate…. Irish Whiskey in anything…fresh french bread and butter cheese
9.Top 3 Favorite Movies? Rob Roy, the Secret of Roan Innish, As Good As It Gets
10.Top 3 Favorite Books or Magazines? The Stardance Trilogy by Spider and Jeanne Robinson, Timeshadow Rider and The Singer Enigma by Anne Maxwell
11.Your Favorite Fantasy? Being able to fly.
12.Top 3 Favorite T.V. Shows? Star Trek Next Generation, Star Trek Voyager and Law & Order
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST.......
13.Who would you invite to your "Dream Dinner Party"? My fiddler and me in black chiffon - ready for seduction!
Re: Hello. I'm back. Be frightened! rubytuesdayschild
(32/F/Nearby ........) 6/26/01 11:38 pm
Hello Handsome Lad!
This Is a Reply to: Msg 651 by celticsimon
Re: a questionaire rubytuesdayschild
(32/F/Nearby ........) 6/27/01 2:58 pm
1.Favorite Color? Black, except when it's some shade of blue, red, green, yellow, pink, purple, gray, brown, blue-green, or orange (on Levi's). There is a reason for that little orange tag and it's placement. Bet you can't guess what it is.
2.Relationship Status? Oh, that would be telling , wouldn't it?
3.Any children? Do kidnap victims count?
4.Do you have any Pets? See #3
5.Favorite type of Music? The kind that has instruments in it or: Planet music.
6.Top 3 favorite Bands or Artists? Georgia O'Keefe, Pee Wee Herman, Lola Falana
7.Your Favorite Hobbies? Trying to publicly humiliate Simon The Wonderful - it gives me squiggles
8. What the hell happened to 8? I went to answer question 8 and there wasn't one. Hold on. ...
............... .............. ......... ......
............ ....... AHHH .. here we go:
8.Top 3 Favorite Foods? Pizza
8 b. Top 3 Least Favorite foods My ex-husband, women and spaghettios. I don't know about where you people come from, but where I come from as soon as you fall on hard times and need paybacks on all the free meals you passed out when everyone else in the town was on hard times, a "miracle" occurs. Everyone's food cabinets empty of all contents but one can of spaghettios, all their pans become dirty and their stove stops working. Amazing, isn't it?
9.Top 3 Favorite Movies? The Outlaw Josey Wales, Braveheart, Oh Brother Where Art Thou
10.Top 3 Favorite Books or Magazines? Douglas Adams
11.Your Favorite Fantasy? Mmmm. .... bridge , sword fight .. doesn't bear telling
12.Top 3 Favorite T.V. Shows? None
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST.......
13.Who would you invite to your "Dream Dinner Party"? Your fiddler in black chiffon ... lol
All answers subject to change without notice
This Is a Reply to: Msg 652 by shenanigangirl
Re: a questionaire bowietheredhairedflamer
6/28/01 12:06 am
I do not know what you are doing my goodest goddess, my strumpet of delight, my little black bean of despair, my celtic harp, my cherokee tomahawk in lace dress, my lambourghini on the highway of love ... I know that you must answer someone yet I see them not .. for how could I notice another, when in the presence of such an angel .... ah .. she was a phantom of delight .. so true .. never a truer word was writ except, for nay, if true it wished to be then he would have waited and wrote it in wooing for you
Never-the-less, my lickable candy coated popcorn crunchy, I shall answer your delightful questions .. or whoever's questions they are .. and I shall bask in the hope of your smile when you read my attempts to communicate with such a higher being .... and I shall despair for I am afraid one much more wonderful than eye has caught the eye of the goddess of radiance; but then is it not fitting that the young and sprightly Sainted one be the worshipper of the Sun God?
1.Favorite Color? Whatever it must be, so long as it is reflected in the eye of my beloved Ruby.
2.Relationship Status? Delightfully in worship at the feet of my fair, sweet Alaskan angel
3.Any children? Only the jealousy and envy which haunt me when away from me turns the eye of my beloved to gaze upon the countenance of one more worthy
4.Do you have any Pets? Alas no ... if I did, it would be the Rua-tressed Wolfen Bitch.
5.Favorite type of Music? The thrumming pulse of my beloved's heart beating in time with mine own.
6.Top 3 favorite Bands or Artists? David Bowie, the younger; David Bowie, the middle yeared one; and David Bowie, the elder
7.Your Favorite Hobbies? Watching Ruby squiggle
8. Top 3 favorite foods? Uhm .. err. .well, they are all part of a certain woman's anatomy .. you guess where.
8 b. Top 3 Least Favorite foods: Same, after I am done with them for the night. hahahah !!!
9.Top 3 Favorite Movies? Velvet Goldmine; The Man Who Fell To Earth; Labyrinth
10.Top 3 Favorite Books or Magazines? I don't remember the names but they were all biographies of Mr. Jones
11.Your Favorite Fantasy? That this was a real pub and we had Ruby shackled by her wrists to the bar .. or maybe one of those poles like strippers are always swinging on ... and ... oh dear .. excuse me .. no .. pleaser .. really .. I just need to use the loo .. never mind why I lock the door mom .. I'm just using the loo ... I need to run the water the whole time .. I have a lot of handwashing to do ..
12.Top 3 Favorite T.V. Shows? Malcolm in the Middle, Everyone Loves Raymond and Monty Python
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST.......
13.Who would you invite to your "Dream Dinner Party"? Ruby - as the main dish
This Is a Reply to: Msg 654 by rubytuesdayschild
Welcome bill_m_here! Welcome Ti70 the_god_of_liquid_silver
6/28/01 2:55 pm
Glad to have you here. Give us a post and tell us a bit about yourself, maybe answer that lovely ladies questionaire, or, we may be forced to make up our own sordid tales about you. Which will probably be much more entertaining but not quite so good for your reputation
