Failte! Welcome to the archives of the Online Irish Pub. This is your warning so please pay attention. This is about a pub, albeit online. If you get offended by foul language, sex, graphic explanations of bodily functions or by anything else you are likely to run into in a pub, please leave now. Drinking and babysitting don't mix. Thank you.
Re: aalphawolf aalphawolf
(50/M/Idaho,U.S.A.) 6/6/01 12:11 pm
I must say,darling,you've got spunk!And you've managed to steal my heart as well!No appologies for my adopted countrymen(it wouldnt change 'em,anyway...)But I wouldnt speak to a damned lawyer on a bet.Ill take your gibes in good humor(me sweet ol' Irish mum would say;"damned if ye do,damned if ye dont...")...So,BTW,are you trying to tell me that the family name McCauley has no place in Irish company?
This Is a Reply to: Msg 528 by rubytuesdayschild
Re: aalphawolf rubytuesdayschild
(32/F/Nearby ........) 6/6/01 1:54 pm
Uhm .. err.. huh? What I know about the Irish and people named McCauley you could hold in a thimble and still have room for a tea party. I am only here for johno. He is such a man!!!
I spoke to a lawyer once .. had too .. in fact, at one point in my life, I sat in a room, behind closed doors with two lawyers and my soon to be ex-husband. If we ever meet I'll show you the bite marks to prove it. Yep it was lucky for me that I remembered that punching them in the nose trick or they would have gobbled me all the way up the damn things. I did bite part of a fin off of one, and they sort of fell to on each other after that and, hey! Wait a second ... they were never lawyers .. the lying bastard! They were swimming in the tank of water and .. .geez .. I feel dumb! Everyone knows lawyers don't bathe!!!
I would never suggest anything about the name McCauley unless I could think of something really insulting to say about it. Errr.. I mean .. I would never suggest anything about the name McCauley. I never said you weren't Irish .. exactly. It's just all this Irish American stuffy I keep running into about you .. it scares me. Irish Americans scare me. Any group of people who aren't sure which country they belong to on any given day are not to be trusted. What if a war broke out between America and Ireland? Would the Irish Americans stay home and beat the hell out of themselves???
This could "conceivably" happen. Once a man came all the way to our school just to lie to us, apparently, and then tell us American were a bunch of pussies. No .. wait .. that isn't what he said .. he implied it all to hell, but he didn't say it. What he said was that America and England are allies to which we, from our little shocked bodies replied "Well, how the fuck did that happen and thank God we're Alaskans then!" This was not, apparently, the answer he had been looking for. He told us that ever since World War II when America and England fought against Nazi tyranny together, America and England have been allies. He talked of their bravery (the English) and honor in defending the helpless and .. well, not like SOME people, you know, who decided to ally with the Germans, despite the fact that they really are English no matter what they think ..
and he said to us that the English proved themselves not only useful but honorable allies by their courage and yadayada .. to which we replied "Well, so did the Russians and we don't see you beating down THEIR door to bend over and take it like a man for them."
Then he yelled at us a good piece about Communists, people by the last name of Collins, Hitler and how anyone who allies with any of them could use a good shooting. "Huh?" we said collectively. "But .. err.. "
He told us again that this one group allied with this other group .. and that other group was just NASTY .. and how it only proved what vicious little curmudgeons they were .. and ... how that one group bombed the people he had just said were our allies ... and people who are allies of your enemy are your enemy. Then he gave up when we pointed out that it was perfectly forgiveable for a group of people to get the idea that it was a good thing being allied with people who thought it was a good idea to bomb the other people. We went on to point out that, yes, indeed he was right .. certainly we didn't owe anyone anything, since after all, they had done nothing for America at all, the Irish, besides clean the house, babysit the children, report the news, police the neighborhood, keep us entertained and be our Commander and Chief .. smarmy lazy bastards .. not like the brilliant English who did all that wonderful taxation without representation, oppression, mass genocide of the Indian peoples, burning of the White house, and attempted assasination of the first President, etc ... oh no .. we could definitely see where the English would be the preference there. One last attempt by him .. he told us that the English had the most powerful military in the world and there is no way America could win. This is the part where I say he called American's a bunch of pussies. We were like .. "But America did before, didn't they .. are you trying to say that now that they actually have shoes, supplies and weapons they can't do what they did before with basically none of the above?" and he said "Yes. In 200 years no one has won against the English military .. " or he said something like that. We weren't really listening at that point because as soon as he said the in 200 years part we started quoting from a book about William Wallace wherein some other weirdo was going on about how the English couldn't be won against ..
and then we pointed out to him that 1) There was a bit of an island who, without near the people or equipment, was doing a pretty solid job of not losing even if they hadn't exactly won and 2) 200 years ago it was the Americans who did the winning, so it was at least a possibility that they could do it again. But he didnt' think so. So I suggested that, rather than kowtow to the bastards, what we do is have a bit of fun with them. Not a real war at all, but just send a whole bunch of "tourist" over ... and, you know, start a bit of a rumble. I think it would be great fun. 50,000 American citizens pop over and just start picking fights in bars and such. Then I realized that, essentially, that's what happens when they go on vacation anyway and we all sat down disgruntled.
The point. . if there actually was one .. to this story .. is the bit about him telling us America and England are allies. Which is a bit like your dad popping up and announcing he he stole your Aunt Mabry's panties when he was 12 and is wearing them, right now, at Thanksgiving dinner. Well, no, it's not really .. unless your Aunt Mabry chased your dad out of the house, then charged him triple rent to live in the garage, firebombed it, killed most of his friends, and then invited him over to ridicule the neighbors. I was just searching for a way to bring up recent facts I learned about your family and break the news to you gently like!
It's a bit like someone announcing that your Aunt Mabry is missing and by the way how do you like the new sausage I just made. Perhaps. No, that isn't it either.
It's a bit like someone announcing that the just invited Jeffrey Daumer to dinner and he is bringing the new sausage maker.
Anyway, he said it. America and England are allies, and so it is conceivable that you may have to spend some time at home beating yourself up .. but at least, this time, you will have an excuse for doing so!
And with that, she begged everyone to post nice, silly and inocous messages so she would stop rambling like a mad thing.
"Here's a reason to drink .. as if you needed one; well .. we thought you might could use a laugh at least!"
Re: Ø ôü åðó ùòäí ùåðóê çóêûùò ñôääóâ ûø the_god_of_liquid_silver
6/6/01 4:18 pm
Really? You don't say! You know .. I have always thought so myself but never quite had the guts to state it publicly. I really admire you for it. Of course, I don't know if announcing it in a language not commonly used on this planet is quite the same thing as announcing it in, say,Japanese. Is that Venusian, then?
This Is a Reply to: Msg 533 by simonfromireland
Heya Fellow Freaks! oohoohoohjackieblue
(35/M/Alaska) 6/6/01 5:40 pm
That was a greeting for Ruble, Silver, Emerald, Magnum and that Flamer lad ...
For the rest of you: How do you do? Pleased to make your acquaintance. I have heard good things about you.
NOT
Well, I heard good things about Simon. He is the 8th fucking wonder of the world, then, isn't he? Why if I didn't have a johnson bigger than he is tall I would feel downright unmanly compared to him. But I do, and be quiet you nasty lot of hooligans or I shall club you with it!\
That was also to Ruble and company.
How many kopeks would I have to pay to get you to come give my house a scrub down ya little commie Ice Princess from the Igloo Palace? How many penguins have YOU shagged and was it ESKIMO pies they had to be payin' ya in?
Re: cyberbob3 and cyberbob4567 cyberbob4567
(18/M/Ireland) 6/6/01 7:27 pm
well i broke yer mothers ass last time i met her , so i think i've dun enuff to her .
Cyberbob4567
This Is a Reply to: Msg 540 by rubytuesdayschild
OH MY! genejeanie69
6/6/01 8:36 pm
I was told that this was a nice, clean pub .. run by a good religious boy and the people he attends choir practice with. The kind of club one can be proud of joining. Good associations and all that.
What is going on here! You should all be ashamed of yourself!!!!
Besides, everyone knows Ruby's mom's ass was cracked years before you were even born, cyberbob5000.
Cell 7
The man lurches towards your stool, pointing and screaming "I knew the aliens were here .. I KNEW it!" and then he falls, gibbering, to the floor where he remains uncomfortably cuddled up to, and drooling on, your left ankle.
Howdy hey all you wild Snapdragon lovers purplesnapdragonfromspace
6/6/01 8:43 pm
I was told this is the place to come for wild sex freaks and to find out where all the best orgies in Ireland are ... is that right?
I'm not in Ireland, mind ya but you tell me where the orgies are and I might be cumming over
Just messing with ya, Ruby. She told me two things .. not to act like a sex freak and to be nice to Simon. Oh yeah .. also not to tell about her personal life, so I won't tell you anything about the new pretty red satin garter belt she bought. No I won't. Okay, Ruby??
I am here, let the party begin! stormbringer99518
6/6/01 8:55 pm
Just joined, invited by Rha .. dee dah .. dee dah dah dah .. err .. .Ruby ... howzit hanging, wild boys?
Contest rubytuesdayschild
(32/F/Nearby ........) 6/7/01 1:12 pm
I propose we hold a contest called "Name That Bottom" wherein a picture of every club member, who wishes to participate, has a pic of their buttocks posted anonymously by one of the Founders, who will then not enter the contest. The Founder will make two lists. One that has the correct answers and one that simply has all the names of the members who are participating. The pics of the buttocks will be numbered 1-?? and a list of the members who are participating will be posted. Then each will post their guesses as to which name goes with which pic. Only one guess and the one who gets the most guesses right wins a prize.
There are three major issues which need to be worked out, however.
1) Which founder
2)Should the pics be clothed or nude?
3) What will the prize be for the winner?
Anyway, what do you think???
Which founder?! celticsimon
(18/M/Ireland) 6/7/01 1:49 pm
well, of course, we all know im the onlY REAL founder, the rest are just having a laugh, so they are. dunno why i made ONE of them founder in the first place. then u see, they got all click happy, and the founder virus spread. godnammit.
aaa
yes ruby, lets. u post first!
liquid silver guy celticsimon
(18/M/Ireland) 6/7/01 2:07 pm
actually, its simonic. here is how to say go fuck yourself in this fantastic language : ïùå àãñë íùãêûóäà, isnt that gooood? so, liquid guy, u remind me off a hippiebiker guy. are you?
This Is a Reply to: Msg 521 by the_god_of_liquid_silver
Re: Which founder?! rubytuesdayschild
(32/F/Nearby ........) 6/7/01 2:41 pm
Well, and I couldn't post first. I mean, if everyone knew I posted it wouldn't be much of a contest, then, would it???
I'll tell you what, though. If you want to do it, by all means, let's. I will send you a pic and IF anyone else joins the contest you can post it.
Only that answers ONE question. Simon The Wonderful is the Founder. Damn .. means we won't see his!! That leaves the question as to general clothing content of the pics and what the prize will be.
Could the prize be a naked piccie of Simon's tushy????
This Is a Reply to: Msg 555 by celticsimon
Hello oohoohoohjackieblue
(35/M/Alaska) 6/7/01 2:56 pm
Or did I say that yesterday? I'm here. The devil made me do it. The devil being cute, blue eyed, pink haired at the moment, and given to fits of sexual excess within the confines of a monogamous relationship .. guess who that is, eh, Silver Lad?
Re: Contest oohoohoohjackieblue
(35/M/Alaska) 6/7/01 3:32 pm
Hello. I'm game. In fact I am so game that I am going to post three pics of three butts of three people I know. Maybe even more than that. ANd I will let Simon know whose they are.
This Is a Reply to: Msg 554 by rubytuesdayschild
Bottoms up! maggie_haha
6/7/01 5:32 pm
I am NOT posting a nudie pic of my bottom. I will be glad to send Simon a pic of it, but not nude. I see that some other non-nudes had been posted. I will send my pic to Rubles and let her send it on to you Simon.
Is anyone from Cork, Ireland? jumper_72800
(15/F/PA) 6/8/01 10:52 am
Hi! I'm new to the club and I was wondering if anyone was from Cork, Ireland?? I know I have family there, I'm not exactly sure who they are, but I they're there. I know there's about a million of O'Sullivan's around there.
Heather
Contest Question? irie_irishman
(25/M/Silly Clown Valley, Cali) 6/8/01 12:01 pm
I know that I might this might sound brash but Are there any hot ladies in this pub?
I'm not all that keen on checking out pictures of a bunch of dudes ass's.
Re: Contest Question? rubytuesdayschild
(32/F/Nearby ........) 6/8/01 12:20 pm
Well, there are at least two .. one of whom told the other one that you aren't gonna post a pic of your own butt ... it was supposed to be for fun, ya know ... not turning the pub into a strip joint, for fuck's sake
This Is a Reply to: Msg 562 by irie_irishman
That's a beautiful invitation, young man, but I think I will reserve such pleasures for the ladies and, despite your build, I don't believe you qualify.
j/k
Not a hippy, just free, rich, white and Americah. Also my parents moved to Europe, grandparents are dead .. no one to answer to in other words, and can do what I want. It's a great life. It would be better if you told them lovely ladies to go ahead and make the pub a strip joint.
Come on Ruby! Let's see them tatas!!!!
She's gonna kill me, one day.
This Is a Reply to: Msg 556 by celticsimon
