Pub Message Archives 201-220

Failte! Welcome to the archives of the Online Irish Pub. This is your warning so please pay attention. This is about a pub, albeit online. If you get offended by foul language, sex, graphic explanations of bodily functions or by anything else you are likely to run into in a pub, please leave now. Drinking and babysitting don't mix. Thank you.

Re: no more busez rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 5/27/01 11:54 am Okay, so I was like "What the fuck is he talking about now?" and I said to myself "Self, maybe you should go look the crap up for yourself and then you would know." Silly me, it never once ocurred to me that what johnosunnybono was an amateur at, the fucking newspaper scullies went through college to learn proper. That being the art of confusing the hell out of anyone who actually is trying to understand or gain information on anything. It is an art I admire and as soon as I find a college that admits to teaching it* I shall take the full course. *Besides medical schools who have courses called such as 'Illegible Writing 101 for prescription use' wherein they teach doctors how to fool even the most observant pharmacist and thereby cause persons with contagious diseases to stand and hack their lungs out for over an hour .. well more like lean on the wall and try not to slide down too far or fall over because then you would get arrested for loitering and never get your pills ... a nice thing for doctors to know as they then, rather like multi-level marketing scams, take one patient and transform them, through public contact, into dozens of new patients.) The only thing I have really gotten from today's journey into the realm of Online News is a vague sense of a malignant presence controlling us through our computers - probably Bill Gates - and a reaffirmation of what 32 years of hearing about and/or actively studying World War I and II has taught me. One must learn lessons from history, you know, if you do not wish to be doomed to repeat it? Well, what all this has taught me is never to go home for a one night stand with a German because you won't want to take a shower in the morning and never, never, never get on a train in Europe. That's alright, dears. We have our own little quirks you must know about. Like, whenever you run into a Native, you simply must say to them "Eskimo, how fares your home on King Island? Are there many salmon to crunch there?" They will get awfully offended if you do not. Honest! Would I lie to you? Okay. I'm done. Now, seriously, what's this about the buses???? This Is a Reply to: Msg 472 by jonnodadub

Re: no more busez jonnodadub 5/27/01 4:59 pm k luv i dont know what yer takin but givuz some yeah? k i can see some of yez r thic' n need it spel' out ta ya: the guvermen' stopped the buzez from comin thru our area coz d'ladz broke da windoze n pissed on the driver. deyve no fukin sense o houmer.whats dis bout 1 nite stanz wit germans? coz i can relate luv. his name wuz hans n he was in the dentension centre wit me. ill never drop soap in de shower again This Is a Reply to: Msg 473 by rubytuesdayschild

Re: no more busez rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 5/27/01 6:02 pm Yep, must be the same german. This one was hanz .. all hanz. I woke up and he said "Hey, I am feeling a little gassy. Go on and take a shower without me." and I jumped out the window naked, ran off to take refuge with the French that lived down the road. In retrospect, that was probably a mistake. Does he still have my panties? This Is a Reply to: Msg 474 by jonnodadub

Re: no more busez celticsimon (18/M/Ireland) 5/28/01 6:24 pm OH SHIT! german exchange person said it was his culture, and i wasnt to insult him! bastard! by the way, doesn't 'gaseous exchange' sound like a gay sex line? nope, its a chapter in my biology study... This Is a Reply to: Msg 475 by rubytuesdayschild

stopping buses rgfogarty (28/M/Ireland) 5/28/01 7:28 pm where are they stopping the buses? that's the first i have heard about that... buses are always on where i live...

irish maps... rgfogarty (28/M/Ireland) 5/28/01 7:42 pm who the hell drew the northern ireland map? i live in a wee town called portadown, beside Lurgan, and it has been renamed as portavogie.. which is on the east coast.. .then upper bann, near Coleraine, and Derry... I live in the Upperban area.. that is the Lowerbann area... They need shot!

Dearest Beloved Members rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 5/28/01 9:33 pm Yes, this means you .. all of you .. and such lovely ones you are! Simon says he will post naked pics of his bottom if only we can get the number of members up over a 100 within the next two weeks. Honest! Would I lie to you? So, my lovely cretins, howsabout you tiddle off and invite a couple of your friends to come regale us with the expirgated tales of just what the hell they were up to last weekend and why their Aunt Martha is now frightened of cream pies? Or, failing that, would you please go and invite someone to join this club? I thank you. And, on behalf of Simon's bottom, I thank you

Re: Dearest Beloved Members rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 5/28/01 9:37 pm EEEEEKKKKKKKKK!!! I don't know who that was what broke in and was pretending to be me! But, come to think of it they have some good ideas. Not about cream pies .. oh no .. those are sacrosanct, and it wouldn't take much imagination to become frightened of the banana ones .. but about inviting people to join. Grow or die. I prefer growth. Sometimes growth is a great, great deal of fun. Tell em about it johno! This Is a Reply to: Msg 479 by rubytuesdayschild

Re: Dearest Beloved Members aalphawolf (50/M/Idaho,U.S.A.) 5/29/01 2:19 pm (?)is your comment meant to imply that you did NOT invite me darling? This Is a Reply to: Msg 480 by rubytuesdayschild

Hello Gentletee, Hello irie_irishman... rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 5/29/01 2:42 pm Did I miss anyone? I think I did. But, hmm ... how am I to know until they post and tell me so? Would love to chat with some of yuse fine and lovely peoples sometime only de chat thingy doesn't work for me. eeek .. I have been hanging out here too long. Forgetting my English. Gonna be speaking johnonese .. I like johno's knees .. he looks so damn good when he's on them. Whoops! Was that supposed to be a secret, johnopleasemistressletmeboneya?

Re: Dearest Beloved Members rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 5/29/01 2:46 pm Oh no .. your invitation came after I vanquished the vile beast who was pretending to be me. I gave it a cup of coffee, actually, and it was transformed .. from vile beat to raving beauty! At least that's what I say, and since there is no one in the room to argue with me, I concur. Lovely to see you here. God protect you! err.. I mean. . God bless you, for joining! This Is a Reply to: Msg 481 by aalphawolf

Windows kills rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 5/29/01 2:55 pm I must concur. Why just re-installing Windows 95, yesterday, over 8 souls were lost. 5 of them being employees of The Big Giant Computer Store Managed By Idiots Only Out For A Buck. The sort of employees who stand around behind the counter and who can say things like RAM and motherboard by rote but who have no bleeding idea of what they are talking about .. well, actually, two of them I suspect of being French. They acted French. I know they knew how to speak the language I was using, they were forced to take English classes like everyone else, but they looked down their noses at me and refused to speak anything but computersnob'ese anyway. Bastards! They were surprised to find that Windows 95 cds could actually fit up there. Then I had to go by a new set, since I didn't want to retrieve them and ... decided to go with the 98, that I used to have before some jerk stole them (don't have roommates if you can help it) and the disk was scratched. So I take it back to the store and they say "No ma'am. We can't take this back, even if you do have the receipt. You have to send it to Microsoft. Anyway, it doesn't have the really chintzy piece of paper which proves it is a valid product so we can't have it in our store." Hello???? WHy? I didn't buy it from Microsoft, for fecks sake. And .. can't have it in the store? Can't have it in the store? Blighters! I BOUGHT it from THEM and they say it's invalid ..that it can't be sold????? Anyway, thanks to Windows many have died.

Let's have us a little song: "I Wish I was in Carrickfergus, only for nights in Ballygran I would swim over the deepest ocean, the deepest ocean for my love to find But the sea is wide and I cannot swim over and neither have I wings to fly If I could f ind me a handsome boatman to f erry me over to my love and die My childhood days bring back sad reflections of happy times I spent so long ago My boyhood friends and my own relations have all passed on now like melting snow But I'll spend my days in endless roaming soft sit the grass my bed is free Ah to be back in Carrickfergus on that long road down to the sea And in Kilkenny it is reported there are marble stones as black as ink With gold and silver I would support her, but I'll sing no more now till I get a drink I'm drunk today and I'm seldom sober, a handsome rover from town to town Ah, but I'm sick now, my days are numbered so come all ye young men and lay me down "

King O'Keeffe irie_irishman (25/M/Silly Clown Valley, Cali) 5/29/01 3:17 pm Greetings in Salutations Joined the club this morning California Time. Thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to introduce myself. Irie Irishman cuz I like the reggae music. I'm a 24 year old sorry sap. I work in global finance for a major computer company. Nuff that boring shit. Here's a tale that the tells the true demeanor of me and my clan. I'm an O'Keeffe, like the artist Georgia. The O'Keeffe's were once Kings or something similar to royalty in County Cork. When St Patrick came to Ireland 'christianizing' the place he visited King O'Keeffe to do the 'christianazing' ceremony. St Patrick had this really nicely engraved staff with a Celtic cross on top which was razor sharp on bottom end. At the moment that St Patrick pronounced King O'Keeffe a christian he slammed this cross right through King O'Keeffe's right foot. King O'Keeffe thinking this just as the normal process of becoming a christian just smiled and said Amen. Morale of this legend. We O'Keeffe's may be dumb but we can take the pain.

Re: King O'Keeffe celticsimon (18/M/Ireland) 5/29/01 5:17 pm him. hope the irishman bit wasnt to do the the reggae music, or we have some explaining to do. anyways, o' keeffe. i have a friend that might agree with u on that one. although if he is dumb, that makes me keanu reeves. oooh well the irish blokey This Is a Reply to: Msg 485 by irie_irishman

Ever hear this song? rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 5/29/01 5:59 pm Well, hello my name is Simon and I like to do drawings Guess where that one is from?

Help! rubytuesdayschild (32/F/Nearby ........) 5/29/01 6:02 pm I keep pressing links, trying to escape, and it keeps popping up with these windows .. .aaaaghhhh ... it's true .. .it's all true .. they are stalking me, preparing for the kill. Seriously, it does. I press home or clubs or the little x and the Post A Message window pops up. Weird!

celtic simon get off the crack pipe irie_irishman (25/M/Silly Clown Valley, Cali) 5/30/01 1:32 am For those of you who had a hard time understanding what celtic simon typed here my best theory. Nueorscientific autopsy's have found that chronic crack smokers have damages and leisons to t he substanitia nigra. This is a region which is in near the brain stem which has been identified to be involved in the organization of thought. When its sufficently toasted it can cause one to blabber. Crack cocaine can also damage damage broca's area of the brain which is where language thought processses have been identified through positron emission tomography to be situated. Simon. please quit smoking the crack. & I have to say if you have a problem with reggae music you probally don't have a soul. This Is a Reply to: Msg 486 by celticsimon

Re: Dearest Beloved Members aalphawolf (50/M/Idaho,U.S.A.) 5/30/01 3:35 pm OK!well,thank you so very much!...BTW,about that ravin' beauty....if the BEASTIE shows 'is face again just lemme at 'im!(in other environs I be known as PUFFTHEMAGICDRAGON,who LOVES to gobble up pretenders.....an'nibble at ragin' lovelies!) This Is a Reply to: Msg 483 by rubytuesdayschild

Re: Help! aalphawolf (50/M/Idaho,U.S.A.) 5/30/01 3:37 pm Could it be the pixies are foolin' wi'ya? This Is a Reply to: Msg 488 by rubytuesdayschild

Hello all you beauties sweetthursdaysmiling 5/31/01 12:17 pm That Ruby .. she is FUNNY! Seen her hair lately? It's a riot. It's RED! I got the message, Ruby, and will be inviting people like wildfire today. Your wish is my command!

Let's have us a little song: "I Wish I was in Carrickfergus, only for nights in Ballygran I would swim over the deepest ocean, the deepest ocean for my love to find But the sea is wide and I cannot swim over and neither have I wings to fly If I could f ind me a handsome boatman to f erry me over to my love and die My childhood days bring back sad reflections of happy times I spent so long ago My boyhood friends and my own relations have all passed on now like melting snow But I'll spend my days in endless roaming soft sit the grass my bed is free Ah to be back in Carrickfergus on that long road down to the sea And in Kilkenny it is reported there are marble stones as black as ink With gold and silver I would support her, but I'll sing no more now till I get a drink I'm drunk today and I'm seldom sober, a handsome rover from town to town Ah, but I'm sick now, my days are numbered so come all ye young men and lay me down "

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