Pub Message Archives Page 13

Failte! Welcome to the archives of the Online Irish Pub. This is your warning so please pay attention. This is about a pub, albeit online. If you get offended by foul language, sex, graphic explanations of bodily functions or by anything else you are likely to run into in a pub, please leave now. Drinking and babysitting don't mix. Thank you.

Re: Hey now ... queenytara2000 (F/new zealand) 2/16/01 7:32 pm well gopads,thanks for the plug, and yes i went and looked very intersting to a kiwi gal, yes my time zone is very diff, for a start at the moment its saturday 1-30pm and where you are will its friday lord only knows what time, so i will check from time to time and one day god willing im going to see some one in chat and wow will we party, so if someone clever out there can do times etc im a starter This Is a Reply to: Msg 222 by gopads74

Time rubytuesdayschild (32/F/On the planet earth) 2/16/01 8:03 pm It's easy .. it's the online IRISH Pub so all times must be calculated as per Ireland. As in it is 4:pm where I am and it is 1:am where the sexiest man on the planet lives (Ireland). So all you have to do is catch someone from Ireland online, ask them what time it is and figure out your time difference relative to them. Then we will be able to say ... I am available at 3: am (or whatever)Irish time and see if anyone else is available at that time. See? So simple even my cat can do it. Wait .. I don't have a cat. I wonder what that purring is about, then??? This Is a Reply to: Msg 223 by queenytara2000

"Mines a pint, 3shandy, 4 beers, 2gin...."¬ maggie_hahahahahahahahahaha Bar Lingo: 1. 'YOU GET THIS ONE, NEXT ROUND IS ON ME.' (We won't be here long enough to get another round.) 2. 'I'LL GET THIS ONE, NEXT ONE IS ON YOU.' (Happy hour is about to end...drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.) 3. 'HEY, WHERE IS THAT FRIEND OF YOURS?' (I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.) 4. 'CAN I GET A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL.' (FEMALE) (I'm easy.) 5. 'CAN I GET A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL.' (MALE) (I'm gay.) 6. 'EVER TRY A BODY SHOT?' (MALE TO FEMALE) (I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.) 7. 'EVER TRY A BODY SHOT?' (FEMALE TO MALE) (If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?) 8. 'I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME.' (FEMALE) (You are paying more attention to your friends than me.) 9. I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME.' (MALE) (I'm horny.) 10. 'WHO'S GOT THE NEXT ROUND?' (I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.) 11. 'EXCUSE ME.' (MALE TO MALE) (Get the hell out of the way.) 12. 'EXCUSE ME.' (MALE TO FEMALE) (I am going to grope you now.) 13. 'EXCUSE ME.' (FEMALE TO MALE) (Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way.) 14. 'EXCUSE ME.' (FEMALE TO FEMALE) (Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don't think for one minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a ho... Get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you bitch, like the slut you are.) 15. 'WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON TAP?' (What's cheap?) 16. 'CAN I HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN?' (MALE) (I'm really gay.) 17. 'CAN I HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN?' (FEMALE) (I'm really easy.) 18. 'THAT PERSON LOOKS REALLY FAMILIAR.' (Did I sleep with him/her?) 19. CAN I JUST GET A GLASS OF WATER?' (FEMALE) (I'm annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.) 20. I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME.' (FEMALE) (I'm 19.) 21. 'I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME.' (MALE) (I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a 0.4 after my last visit here)

Oh honey I'm home! joeleogue 2/18/01 10:30 am Hello all i'm FINALLY home, i'm just back from africa where i was vaccinating kenyan tribes, and back to the club i co-founded with simon. nice to see jonno still comin here although im surprised you're not in mountjoy yet.

Jasus... celticsimon (18/M/Ireland) 2/19/01 12:31 pm Holy god. i go offline for a week and when i come back, there is more messages than in a whole month. well done, the american people. i be GREAT SIMON the leader *TRUE-FOUNDER* of the club. i stuuuupidly made others founders as well, who in turn made others founders. well, honestly. well. any news anyone?! This Is a Reply to: Msg 225 by joeleogue

Re: Jasus... rubytuesdayschild (32/F/On the planet earth) 2/20/01 1:09 am Well, I was wondering what you were gonna think when you got here. Probably not as much as johnoslubslubslubbing .. just a guess. Before you ask, yes I am trying to pick a fight. Why? ???? I just want him so badly it hurts .. and he's off with all them other women he's always on about ... I just can't take it! Honest .. do you believe me? This Is a Reply to: Msg 226 by celticsimon

Re: Jasus... celticsimon (18/M/Ireland) 2/20/01 5:05 pm not sure on that one my self. jonno is a bit....hmmm... highly strung, you my have to ask him youself... good luck with that, dont let your kids his reply... si This Is a Reply to: Msg 227 by rubytuesdayschild

JONNO'S LUVVIN TIPS jonnodadub 2/21/01 3:28 pm Roigh lads, we're all horney but lets face i' we cant ALL be jonno's with da ladies roigh? yez are WRONG lads coz with me guide yez could all get some luvvin. jus follo me tips and yez could all get some bitches. 1. BEIN A VULTURE A burd ya know jus broke up wit her fella and is depressed. like any gent ya offer er a shoulder ta cry on den BAM! slip i' in!she'll b glad dat somewan tinks da ugly ugly whuuur is tasty and she wont say no. tis FUKIN FULL PROOF!!! 2. DA OLD RELIABLE! yer walkin down the street n ya see a yung wan pushin a baby. the lads laff and say - id never fuk er. dats why yer frends are virgins. goin for a single mum is lime backin united to win da leege - yerez sure ta win! list the reasons to go fer it: wan- their muthers, yaknow theyre ridin! too- theyre single muthers dey need the luv so yez can treat em like shite! and dey fuukin take it like!!!! taree- theyre single muthers so theyve had experience beein dumped so ya dont need to feel gilty when ya give the whuure the heave ho! dats all fer now oh ps to da burd who sez she liks me, ignore celtic toss, fancy a shag?

"Oh sugar .. you are hot looking tonight .. let me get your next one."

Re: JONNO'S LUVVIN TIPS rubytuesdayschild (32/F/On the planet earth) 2/21/01 5:06 pm Sure thing, babsy! I'll shag you rotten!!!! WHOOPS! ...err .. too late .. looks like you're already there! This Is a Reply to: Msg 229 by jonnodadub

Re: JONNO'S LUVVIN TIPS celticsimon (18/M/Ireland) 2/21/01 6:19 pm raaar! saucer of milk, table 2! loike da stuff jonna me man, but wa aboo doe-ez fookin' birtin hips. and celluloight? da cat be stretched beyond repair, na? This Is a Reply to: Msg 230 by rubytuesdayschild

Re: JONNO'S LUVVIN TIPS rubytuesdayschild (32/F/On the planet earth) 2/21/01 10:26 pm Ahhh .. it was just a bit of a joke .. god knows I couldn't resist the man if I tried! This Is a Reply to: Msg 231 by celticsimon

Re: JONNO'S LUVVIN TIPS gopads74 (45/M/Louisville, KY) 2/22/01 6:00 am Personally, I prefer a bit of extra padding. This Is a Reply to: Msg 231 by celticsimon

Re: JONNO'S LUVVIN TIPS celticsimon (18/M/Ireland) 2/22/01 5:49 pm not sure what you mean by that... do i want to!? This Is a Reply to: Msg 233 by gopads74

Re: JONNO'S LUVVIN TIPS gopads74 (45/M/Louisville, KY) 2/22/01 7:46 pm No big mystery, you mentioned "birtin hips and celluloight" like it was a bad thing. I was just saying that I like women with some meat on their bones. This Is a Reply to: Msg 234 by celticsimon

Re: JONNO'S LUVVIN TIPS rubytuesdayschild (32/F/On the planet earth) 2/23/01 11:10 am Ah .. it's all too sad .. and here I had all those naked pics and strange little vids all ready for him .. but I am spurned once again! This Is a Reply to: Msg 235 by gopads74

LUVVIN TIPS 2 jonnodadub 2/23/01 3:40 pm Well i had a fuukin rapid responce to me last tip so here comes sum more........................... D'OLDER BITCH. lads the auld waan down the road may b a scabby, crust infected herpees ridden rotten piece a shit....but she needs luvin 2. dis is a good way ta get practise fer a foxy wan. ya learn how ta tuuurn em on an find da clittyris.and ya shoot sum o yer load. WANKIN ASSISTENCE lads deres nowt rong with the odd playlad magazine form time ta time, ya git ta shoot yer oad and perfect yer oral skills. reeepeat after me :take da ya whuuure ya like dat donn ya? suck i' i of course don need ta do dis i have a burrd every nite

Re: LUVVIN TIPS 2 rubytuesdayschild (32/F/On the planet earth) 2/23/01 6:09 pm You are just more and more of a turn on every time you show up! But, what about tips for the ladies? This Is a Reply to: Msg 237 by jonnodadub

Tra lala .... rubytuesdayschild (32/F/On the planet earth) 2/24/01 2:53 pm Another pleasant Saturday of nothing to do .. the sun is shining in the window .. this frightens me .. growing up, we were so poor we couldn't afford sunshine. Now the economy is a bit straighter and here it is, a public service and relatively free for all! Isnt' life Grand?????? I posted a pic. I hope it frightens you all! I am feeling quite brilliantly and happily militant this morning. Chatting with a man who builds homes out where I grew up. I am trying to dissuade him from this work. It is a horrible thing to do to the landscape and .. all this building homes, widening roads, adding in shopping malls .. bah! It only encourages people to stay and .. no offense to you gopads .. who the hell wants Americans moving in??????? Don't get me wrong .. some of my best friends are Americans. *lol* But, I think we have had more than our quota of them, Californians and Texans especially, and now it's time for Australia or somesuch to bear the burden for a while and allow us a little resting time. Yeah? Righty ho .. since none of you knows what I am on about, I shall give up the line of thought altogether and instead discuss ... bologna! When I was growing up, we had to eat a lot of bologna .. then we would go to school and lie and people would say .. you are full of baloney and we would say "No. . bologna, you non-spelling fucking cretin .. and what the hell do you expect, yeah? Your daddy and all the ones like him moving in here taking up all the jobs and fucking over the economy with his spending the money from them down states .. we can't afford anything else then can we .. stupid Americans " and then we would all get in a big fight and have to be hosed down by the fire department. Good job too because we couldn't afford showers either! I did tell you I was feeling militant today, yeah?

So I went to this club about .. rubytuesdayschild (32/F/On the planet earth) 2/24/01 4:17 pm naked oil wrestling. I was quite confused. All the photos were of people .. no naked oil at all. It was a severe disappointment. I was quite intrigued to start with .. all set to learn about how it is you get oil naked in the first place and what you would do with it once you defrocked it. Can anyone explain this to me? OOoh.. my head is spinning .. I just remembered all the bottles of Virgin Olive Oil .. . imagine defrocking naked virgin oil and forcing it to submit .. quite kinky don't you think? Anyone seen a club on THAT topic?

Then .... I got so bored that .. rubytuesdayschild (32/F/On the planet earth) 2/24/01 6:06 pm I went for a walk and that is pretty bored I must be to be convinced that a walk on a cold winter's day is a good idea (unless it involves the recieving of money, beer or sex at the end of the journey)! So I walked and I walked and I walked and I walked and I walked .. and then, for a change of pace, I walked some more. I do enjoy a good walk. No skipping or running though, not even jogging .. I am a purist! Got tired .. walked some more .. finally I came to an empty and fairly sanitary seeming bench .. it looked like a park bench, only it was just sitting there on the sidewalk, rather attached to it, so I don't know what kind of bench it was. I have never heard of street benches or sidewalk benches .. and it was not a bus stop so it wouldn't be a bus stop bench and come to think of it I have also never heard of a bus stop bench being called that. What ever it should be rightfully called, it was definitely a bench and it had a complete dirth of winos as well as very little evidence of their past presence .. hmmm .. that was a dangerous coupling of words .. almost sent us into a time warp with that sentence! .. so I decided to have me a little sit down. Not that I am a wino, but I daresay there are no actual laws that one must be a wino to occupy such benches! So I sat me down. Only to be extra careful, just in case of any spare wino germs lingering, I picked up a newspaper that was laying nearby, made sure it was clean, spread it out on the bench and then I sat me down. Wouldn't want to get wino germs on your keester you know .. dreadfully embarrasing to explain at the doctors' office, how they got there! So I am sitting on the newspaper and this lady walks up . .she says to me "I need to check the movie times .. are you reading that paper?" ... I stood up, flipped the page, sat back down and said "Certainly Madame, I am .. just finished the Sports Section."

*contemplative mood* (ie bullshit mood) celticsimon (18/M/Ireland) 2/24/01 6:20 pm funny. maybe if i knew where you lived i might understand your last post at bit more. sorry, but i naturally (for the love of god, dont know why thou) thought you were american. hmm. thats funny, cause you'd reckon there arent many other choices now, but irish doesnt pop in immediatly. u might reckon i am babbling, but we the interent communtity as a generalisation reckon that everyone is american/canadian or british/irish. why is that. think about it. hmm anyways, you were really poverty sticken eh? you're irish arent you?! liked the naked oil bit. u fuuuuuuunny

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