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From: park@netcom.com (Bill Park) Subject: Universe Today Stories,
Jan-May, 2259 OLD NEWS FROM UNIVERSE_TODAY, Jan-May, 2259 "'Johnny
Colonic' grosses 45 million ducats in first weekend." _Universe
Today_, Alleged Art and Shocks Populi Intersection, p. 1. (PixelPlug(tm)
preview sequences of latest CyberCrunk blockbuster starring Rollupyur
Sleeves available from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "'Men unfit to be
jockeys because their testicles get in the way.'" _Universe Today_,
Sexism and Big Ducats Sports InterSection, p. 4. (Full transcript of
statement by EarthDome's Femme Party Majority Whip available from InterWeb
node 3.5.11.13.42) "1,500 more leptonics engineers to be made
redundant at Yoyodyne, Ltd." _Universe Today_, Whether or Not Report,
back page. (Record earnings report available from Yoyodyne's factoid
server via InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "1st prize in 4-H competition
to Famous Lennier's chocolate chip spoo." _Universe Today_, Babylon 5
and Psychotropic Substances Intersection. (Recipe available from Interweb
node 3.5.11.13.42) "3rd Webcasino hit by rogue Webagent: $72
Megaducat payoff." _Universe Today_, Speculative Investing &
CompSci InterSection, p. 0F. (Wanted poster of agent's avatar
(percussionist, lagomorph, pink) available from InterWeb node
3.5.11.13.42. Contact The Night Watch.) "Amazon ship captain and
Amercadian ex-brigadier still missing." _Universe Today_, Rec Station
97 Newsfeed, cycle 140 Anarchera. (Drive signature of "Harpy"
and wanted posters of fugitives sought for dock damage available at
Webnode 3.5.11.13.42) "Scientist calls for trillion-ducat research on
Psi/millicharge link." _Universe Today_, Physics and Grantsmanship
InterSection, p. XXXIV. (Scornful denunciations by other, funded,
researchers in unrelated disciplines available from InterWeb node
3.5.11.13.42) "Convent schoolgirls crack MarsDome's megabit-key
crypto." _Universe Today_, Complexity and Chatechisms InterSection,
p. 13. (Interview with St. Xuxa's 7-liter RNA computer "Soupy deJour"
available on InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "Crimson Assurance raids
outpost; survivors forced to buy whole life." _Universe Today_,
investigative report #14, "Actuaries in Space." (Bio of the
Assurance's Filthy Jack Smythe-Wellington, Sr. Accountant (retired),
available from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "Deformed spiderwebs on
The Party Planet: Psychoactive drug residues?" _Universe Today_,
Arachnology and Pharmacology InterSection, p. HOOCH. (Pix of webs induced
by badthink substances THC, LSD, tryptophan, caffeine, star stuff, etc.
available from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "Existence of red
kryptonite debated by weapons physicists." _Universe Today_, Bad News
and Quantum Glues InterSection, p. 10^-24. (List of major corporations
whose stock would plummet if red kryptonite exists available from InterWeb
node 3.5.11.13.42) "Latest Earth fad: Centauri hairstyles -- for
Teddy Bears." _Universe Today_, Fashion and Politics InterSection,
p.1. (Commentary by Mr. Angus, UT's syndicated sociopsychopolitical
hairstyle analyst, available from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42.) "Markabs:
Sexiest species in the universe? Inbreeding, 'No problem!'" _Universe
Today_, Real Estate and Procreation InterSection, p. I-O-I-O. (Graph of
Markab population growth since disastrous plague of '59 available from
InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "Methane breather patents deodorant for
embarrassing oxygen emissions." _Universe Today_, Carbon Life and
Personal Stuff Intersection, p. o-o. (Olfobase of 400 scents that put a
methane breather off their spoo available from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42.
Healer's approval rq'd.) "Normal's disability claim upheld by
Earthdome Appellate Court." _Universe Today_, Gratuitous Litigation
Sunday Supplement, p.3 para. 7. (Plaintiff's infobase of 157 rejection
messages for jobs requiring psi powers available from InterWeb node
3.5.11.13.42) "Rogue Webagent sighted at numerous Webnodes."
_Universe Today_, AI and Product Placement InterSection, p. 7-Up. (Tabletshots
of agent's characteristic pink lagomorphic fuzzy avatar available from
InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "Scientist calls for trillion-ducat
research on Psi/millicharge link." _Universe Today_, Physics and
Grantsmanship InterSection, p. XXXIV. (Scornful denunciations by other,
funded, researchers in unrelated disciplines available from InterWeb node
3.5.11.13.42) "St. Trinian Belles 1,427; Green Drazi team 0."
_Universe Today_, Sports and Body Modification InterSection, p. 3A. (Rule
change disallowing neck tattoos in coed nude zero-g volleyball available
from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42. Still in committee.) -30- From: park@netcom.com
(Bill Park) Subject: Universe Today News Stories, May, 2259 The Shadows
must have hijacked my first post of this article straight to Za 'ha 'Dum,
so here goes again ... UNIVERSE_TODAY NEWS STORIES, MAY, 2259
"'Johnny Colonic' grosses 45 million ducats in first weekend."
_Universe Today_, Alleged Art and Shocks Populi Intersection, p. 1. (PixelPlug(tm)
preview sequences of latest CyberCrunk blockbuster starring Rollupyur
Sleeves available from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "'Men unfit to be
jockeys because their testicles get in the way.'" _Universe Today_,
Sexism and Big Ducats Sports InterSection, p. 4. (Full transcript of
statement by EarthDome's Femme Party Majority Whip available from InterWeb
node 3.5.11.13.42) "1,500 more leptonics engineers to be made
redundant at Yoyodyne, Ltd." _Universe Today_, Whether or Not Report,
back page. (Record earnings report available from Yoyodyne's factoid
server via hyperlink from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "1st prize in
4-H competition to Famous Lennier's chocolate chip spoo." _Universe
Today_, Babylon 5 and Psychotropic Substances Intersection. (Recipe
available from Interweb node 3.5.11.13.42) "3rd Webcasino hit by
rogue Webagent: $72 Megaducat payoff." _Universe Today_, Speculative
Investing & CompSci InterSection, p. 0F. (Wanted poster of agent's
avatar (percussionist, lagomorph, pink available from InterWeb node
3.5.11.13.42. Contact The Night Watch.) "Amazon ship captain and
Amercadian ex-brigadier still missing." _Universe Today_, Rec Station
97 Newsfeed, cycle 140 Anarchera. (Drive signature of "Harpy"
and wanted posters of fugitives sought for dock damage available at
InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "Scientist calls for trillion-ducat
research on Psi/millicharge link." _Universe Today_, Physics and
Grantsmanship InterSection, p. XXXIV. (Scornful denunciations by other,
funded, researchers in unrelated disciplines available from InterWeb node
3.5.11.13.42) "Convent schoolgirls crack MarsDome's megabit-key
crypto." _Universe Today_, Complexity and Chatechisms InterSection,
p. 13. (Interview with St. Xuxa's 7-liter RNA computer 'Soupy deJour'
available on InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "Crimson Assurance raids
outpost; survivors forced to buy whole life." _Universe Today_,
investigative report #14, "Actuaries in Space." (Bio of the
Assurance's Filthy Jack Smythe-Wellington, Sr. Accountant (retired),
available from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "Deformed spiderwebs on
The Party Planet: Psychoactive drug residues?" _Universe Today_,
Arachnology and Pharmacology InterSection, p. HOOCH. (Pix of webs induced
by badthink substances THC, LSD, tryptophan, caffeine, star stuff, etc.
available from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "Existence of red
kryptonite debated by weapons physicists." _Universe Today_, Bad News
and Quantum Glues InterSection, p. 10^-24. (List of major corporations
whose stock would plummet if red kryptonite exists available from InterWeb
node 3.5.11.13.42) "Latest Earth fad: Centauri hairstyles -- for
Teddy Bears!" _Universe Today_, Fashion and Politics InterSection,
p.1. (Commentary by Mr. Angus, UT's syndicated sociopsychopolitico-
economic hairstyle analyst available from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42.)
"Markabs: Sexiest species in the universe? Inbreeding, 'No
problem!'" _Universe Today_, Real Estate and Procreation InterSection,
p. I-O-I-O. (Graph of Markab population growth since disastrous plague of
'59 available from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "Methane breather
patents deodorant for embarrassing oxygen emissions." _Universe
Today_, Carbon Life and Personal Stuff Intersection, p. o-o. (Olfobase of
400 scents that put a methane breather off their spoo available from
InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42. Healer's approval rq'd.) "Normal's
disability claim upheld by Earthdome Appellate Court." _Universe
Today_, Gratuitous Litigation Sunday Supplement, p.3 para. 7. (Plaintiff's
infobase of 157 rejection messages for jobs requiring psi powers available
from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "Rogue Webagent sighted at numerous
Webnodes." _Universe Today_, AI and Product Placement InterSection,
p. 7-Up. (Tabletshots of agent's characteristic pink, lagomorphic, fuzzy
avatar available from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "Scientist calls
for trillion-ducat research on Psi/millicharge link." _Universe
Today_, Physics and Grantsmanship InterSection, p. XXXIV. (Scornful
denunciations by other, funded, researchers in unrelated disciplines
available from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42) "St. Trinian Belles 1,427;
Green Drazi team 0." _Universe Today_, Sports and Body Modification
InterSection, p. 3A. (Rule change disallowing neck tattoos in coed nude
zero-g volleyball available from InterWeb node 3.5.11.13.42. Still in
committee.) -30- Back
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