(Daphne enters her room and looks around. Donny is standing by the window and upon hearing the door open turns around. He sees her and runs to her and they hug briefly.)
DONNY: Daphne! I've been worried sick, honey, where've you been?
DAPHNE: It's along story. I'll tell you everything.
DONNY: What happened? (She realises the door is still open and she has a clear view of Niles's room. She can't cope with that as well.)
DAPHNE: Let me just close the door, then sit down and I'll tell you. (Donny obediently sits on a chair, looking concerned and curious.)
(Meanwhile, in Niles's room, he is deep in thought, then he hears Daphne's door close. Before this moment he was doing fine and had almost completely decided to give it a chance with Mel, but the closing door reminds him of his problem and he's definitely a man torn. At that moment, Mel wakes up and sees him.)
MEL: Niles! You're back! Did you have a nice drive? (She doesn't suspect a thing.)
NILES: Mel, I have a lot to talk to you about.
MEL: Oh. Well, let me get up first okay? (He's getting impatient but lets her get ready.)
(Back in her room, Daphne has begun to explain the scenario and is finding it tricky. Donny is attentive, trying to listen and offer constructive criticisms.)
DONNY: So you were nervous, right, that's why you ran off like that.
DAPHNE: Yes, I was nervous, but that's not the only reason. And I didn't run off by myself. I was with Dr. Crane.
DONNY: (Not getting it:) As in your boss Dr. Crane? (That doesn't make sense and he knows it, but at the very least it's worth hazarding a guess.)
DAPHNE: No, as in his brother and your divorce client Dr. Crane.
DONNY: Ohhh… so that would explain why he wasn't around yesterday either.
DAPHNE: Yes. We were in Mr Crane's Winnebago, you see. It was purely coincidental. I was going in there to sit down and regain my nerves (she's such a good liar) and Dr. Crane was already in there so we got talking and I was getting more and more nervous so I made him take me for a drive. (How sweet - she's not getting him into trouble.)
DONNY: So, what, you drove around the block a load of times? (He's trying to put two and two together and at the very least is coming up with three.)
DAPHNE: No… it s a very long story. (Donny still has no idea of the bombshell she's about to drop.)
DONNY: Well, I'm sitting comfortably - you may begin. (She looks at him, willing him to understand, then begins.)
(In Niles's room, Mel emerges from the bathroom, looking much fresher than before.)
MEL: Right, you wanted to talk to me?
NILES: Yes. Mel, uh, how much did you hear about what happened to me?
MEL: Only what Frasier told me.
NILES: What did he tell you?
MEL: That you were feeling a little ill and needed to go for a drive to clear your head. He said you ran out of fuel out there and were too far from the hotel to walk, so you needed to find a gas station and that's why you were missing all day yesterday. You missed quite a bit of excitement, actually.
NILES: I know, Frasier called me and told me everything. But, actually, Mel, there's a lot of stuff I need to talk to you about and it's not going to be easy. You may find it very difficult to accept, but please try to understand. Promise me.
MEL: I promise. Tell me, you're making me nervous. (That hasn't helped his predicament in the slightest. He takes a deep breath and tries his best to explain.)
(Daphne, however, is finishing her story. Or at least the beginning of her story.)
DAPHNE: … so for seven years he'd been in love with me and I'd only just found out about it. (Donny is amazed.)
DONNY: Seven years? And you didn't know about it? You didn't even get an inkling?
DAPHNE: Everyone knew except me!! Until just before Christmas when I found out.
DONNY: Let me guess - Roz?
DAPHNE: Why does everyone keep blaming her? No, it was Dr. Crane.
DONNY: He told you himself? (Thinking she means Niles. He's really not doing well today! Daphne nods.)
DAPHNE: By accident. I was giving him a massage for his bad back, and he'd taken these pills…
DONNY: You were giving him a massage?
DAPHNE: Yes. That's what he pays me for.
DONNY: (Really not getting it… ) He pays you… ? Since when?
DAPHNE: (Realising what Donny thinks has been going on.) Donny! Wrong Dr. Crane!
DONNY: OH, you mean Frasier. Could you call them by their first names please, I'm getting very confused.
DAPHNE: If you knew how confused I was myself you'd understand why I'm not. (Which in itself explains how confusded she is!) Yes, Frasier told me while he was delirious on painkillers.
DONNY: I'll bet you were shocked.
DAPHNE: I certainly was. But that's only the half of it… (Cut to… )
(Niles's room. He's told her. Mel looks shocked and after several seconds it dawns on her.)
MEL: In love with- (Back to Daphne's room.)
DONNY: -him! (He is also quite shocked by this news. Niles, we assume is attempting to justify himself to a very peed off Mel.)
DAPHNE: (Ashamed.) Yes. I realised it only a few days ago and it was driving me slowly insane. I talked to Frasier about it and he told me to confront his brother and sort it out before the wedding. It was the only way. Then I found out he'd married Mel and I felt like my world was falling apart. I put it down to pre-wedding jitters and was over it by the other morning. I'd actually forgotten about it. I spent the entire rehearsal dinner longing to speak to him about anything, and when the time came and he asked me to dance out of courtesy, I was going to refuse. But I found I couldn't. And we danced, and when the music had ended I was so disappointed and so glad, because then I'd have you again to take my mind off it. It didn't work. (She stops for a breather. We focus on Donny's expression - his love for Daphne, a shattered illusion, realisation, pity, confusion - and then on Daphne herself - pleading silently for him to understand, to forgive her, to make it all right again, even though she knows he can't.)
(Niles's room: Mel reels from his whole story.)
MEL: So when you found out she felt the same, then what?
NILES: I told her… that… I would leave you. For her.
MEL: I'm not sure whether I should be happy for her, or furious with you! How could you?
NILES: I realised how terrible a thing it was for me to consider, but can you imagine it Mel, how difficult it was for us. Two people, both of us in love with each other and those we'd made promises to! It was a nightmare! We were outside, right on the balcony of the room next door deciding to go back to you and Donny. (Cut to:)
(Donny is taking it well.)
Next scene...
DONNY: You did what you thought was the right thing.
DAPHNE: Yes, I chose you. I thought he understood and I suppose he did in his own way. I'd made you a promise and he'd married Mel. I had to think for both of us because he was in such a state by then he wasn't thinking straight. I had to do something to make him see reason. Luckily he did.
DONNY: So what happened yesterday, after all of this?
DAPHNE: Well… (Realising.) You're taking this remarkably well.
DONNY: I know you'd never intentionally try to hurt me. I'm sure in your position, or his, I'd have done exactly the same and I mean that.
DAPHNE: You're a wonderful man, Donny. I don't know what I was thinking yesterday.
DONNY: You've got too much love to give, that's all. Now, come on, I want to hear the rest of the story.
DAPHNE: All right, but it doesn't get any easier. I had a feeling he wouldn't want to see the wedding, but he didn't realise just how much I wanted him there, how much I just needed to know he'd see the happiest day of my life, I mean, he's my best friend... that would never change, no matter what happened… (Cut to Niles's room, where all is not going so swimmingly. In fact, Mel is pacing like an alley cat.)
MEL: I can't believe you would do that! Why marry me if you knew full well you were in love with someone else?!
NILES: I have asked myself that question so many times these past two days, and the answer is because she was marrying Donny. I'd accepted that and I was over her completely! But then I found out she felt the same -
MEL: So you thought you'd just go off and marry her as well, is that it!?
NILES: It's not like I eloped with her, Mel. In fact, I did that with you! My brain went into overdrive and all I could think about was her. You can't tell me you've never been so in love with someone, you'd drop everything if only they could love you back.
MEL: Well, actually, yes. When I was much younger. (He ignores her obvious snidiness and continues.)
NILES: So you see my point. Yesterday morning I was wallowing in self pity when she found me and when she asked me to drive her off I did it unquestioningly. If only you knew how long I'd waited to hear her voice say my name...
MEL: If you're simply going to sit here and talk to me about how much you love her I may as well just leave now!
NILES: Mel, please, I'm trying to explain. It was my idea to come back here and sort out our problems. She needed to work out her life with Donny and she didn't want to. I had to force her to come back! She'd only do that if I promised to do the same. I had to tell you. I couldn't bear the thought of you not knowing the truth, either way. I couldn't bear the guilt of it all.
MEL: It doesn't change the fact that first of all, you got everybody worried sick by her disappearance, and second of all that the two of you were gallivanting off around the countryside all day! Did you think we wouldn't notice? She's an engaged woman, Niles.
NILES: Yes, and I'm a married man. Don't you think I know this?
MEL: It doesn't seem like you were acting on that information.
NILES: Maybe I wasn't at the time, but now I am. At this precise moment she's in Donny's room telling him everything.
MEL: Perhaps she's breaking up with him - I wouldn't expect anything less of her. (She realises her mistake but it's too late to cover it. A glimpse of the real Mel hits Niles, so he confronts her.)
NILES: What bothers you more: the fact that I'm in love with someone else, or that fact that I'm in love with Daphne?
MEL: What precisely are you implying?
NILES: (Finally realising, without her having to say anything.) It's because it's Daphne.
MEL: Niles-
NILES: Why didn't I see this before? This isn't jealousy, or hurt, or anger! You're simply against her.
MEL: No, I-
NILES: Why? (Mel doesn't answer. He can see the reason in her face.) You think she's common, is that it? That she's lower than you? (She's finding it increasingly difficult to lie to him about this but tries to cover it.)
MEL: I wouldn't go that far.
NILES: I never considered you to be a snob, Mel. I guess I was wrong. You know, I came back here because I thought I could work through this thing with you sensibly in an adult manner, but now I see that's impossible. This is never going to work like this.
MEL: What are you saying?
NILES: Isn't it obvious? I want a divorce! (YESSSS! Ahem, I mean, oh no. She is furious again.)
MEL: You're leaving me for HER!? A maid from England!? You should really set your standards higher!
NILES: You mean, for someone like you, perhaps? A snobby plastic surgeon with too much money, and enough neuroticisms to fill a textbook? Daphne is twice the woman you will ever be and to be perfectly honest, she doesn't much care for you, either. It's over, Mel, and although it's also over between Daphne and I, at least she'll be happy, and that's all I need to know. You, at this precise moment, I couldn't care less about.
MEL: (Spitefully, she retaliates.) Would you like to sort everything out, or is it all too painful?
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