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Why I HATE Beast Machines! |
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Episodes |
WHY I HATE BEAST MACHINES!
The following is a list of why I hate the Beast Machine's TV show the following are the opinions of my friends and myself.
1. Optimus Primal; In Beast Wars Optimus Primal was definatly one the better kick-ass charactors on the Maximal team. From season one, to Transmetal, to Optimal Optimus, (my fav) Not only did Optimus Primal look impressive but for the most part; O Primal could carry his own, (except in the last few episode in season three, but oh well.) But in Beast Machines, not only did Optimus Primal look visually foolish, but the only thing could really do was shoot out lightning bolts....Ooooh wow! 2.Blackarachnia: Is she on drugs or something? What was with all the phsycadelic colors, six eyes, and not to mention the receeding hairline! Her name should be changed to Back-on-crack-lia.
3.Rattrap: Has any one ever noticed besides me that Rattrap looked like Steve Urkle fused with a wheel chair? I could accept that if he wasn't Rattrap. Transmetal Rattrap IS so much cooler than that useless transorganic body. I say slash his tires and car-jack him.
4.Nightscream had a REALLY bad design! I like the character but his robot and beast modes are both just a lame attempt. The toy is also pathetic looking. That's why I NEVER bought it, (but maybe I could take it apart and make something usefull out of it.) And in respect to the figures; I never could get over the fact that they made Nightscream an ultra beast (big Transformer) and Silverbolt a basic (very small)....come on; let's get real here. 5.If you abbreviate the words Beast Machines you get the words 'BM' Hmm&ldots;I wonder what that could also stands for?
6.During Beast Wars; the 3rd season was about saving history as it happened. In Beast Machines (or BM) Megatron erased all the history files on the planet. So in the long run that made Beast Wars a TOTAL waste of time.
7.The plot in Beast Machines was very lame! In Beast Wars the plot was good. In order to survive the transformers had to coat their bodies with organic flesh to protect themselves from the high energon readings. In BM Megatron takes over Cybertron with some virus that wipes out the population&ldots;Yeah okay! What ever happened to the glory of conquest?!
8.In Beast Wars I remember there being a good moment or a good spoken line in all; or at least most of every show. In Beast Machines, there was only a hand full in the entire series. (see quotes)
9.In Beast Machines there was an interesting role reversal I noticed for the characters. For once; the Maximals were playing the role of the 'bad guys', trying to ruin the elegant perfection of Cybertron's heritage; while Megatron was simply trying to keep the planet the way it should be. I mean; if it's not broke; don't fix it! :)
10.In the first season of beast Machines, Megatron was still a Transmetal II. That means compared to the Maximals; Megatron was the most powerful transformer on Cybertron! So why didn't he just go out into battle and start cleaning house!? And during the second season, Megatron was a giant head, and he had some heavy firepower to go with it. Why didn't he just bombard the Maximals?! Hey that would've been some great light show :)
11.I don't think too many people will disagree with me on this one. Optimus Prime would not be taken down by some 'cheap shot' of a virus! Any Transformer fan would agree with this one; and if you don't; you're not a very good fan. Hehe (j/k) 12.In Master of the House; the second episode of the first season; Optimus Primal puts Transmetal II Megatron in a headlock. What kind of a cheap shot was that? TM2 Megatron was way stronger than that bootleg Optimus! I just laughed at that! :) 13.In Beast Machines; Megatron wiped out the population of Cybertron with his little virus and built the Vehicon drones. So we can all guess that the entire planet was covered with them. How many Maximals were there? Oh that's right; seven! No wonder why the Maximals won! Seven animals versus only 10 billion some-odd drones! The odds are obviously in the Maximals favor! 14. How come their were no Autobots? Why couldn't they have put one stinking Autobot in the cast? It wouldn't have killed them, come on!!! BM stock would have gone up w/ me if not just a little. I remember well when "Sparkwar Part Two: The Search", Written by Michael Reaves aired for the first time. I had work that Saturday morning so I taped it. I worked a seven-hour shift that day and when I got home at five I went to the VCR and got my tape and went to the Basement. Having slept over my house the night before; my friend mark was already down there on my computer. Mark looked at me and said 'It was a great Beast machines episode today; let me tell you about it.' I asked him if the Maximals found Iacon yet. (I had already known a little about season II at the time) But I told him I wanted to see it myself, but knowing Mark, I knew he wouldn't let up until I said yes. This is how my friend told it: The Maximals split up to find the sparks, Optimus Primal and Nightscream found Iacon and inside the city they found the actual Optimus Prime in one of the buildings. Optimus Prime was badly hurt and said he was dying. Primal tried to help Prime But it was too late. Needing help to stop Megatron Optimus Primal asked for it. Prime said that the power was in him and all he had to do was to use it. Optimus Primal was than restored into Optimal Optimus; where upon he flew to the surface and started cleaning house with the Vehicons. I really wanted to see it after that. After I saw the episode however I realized that Mark had fabricated most of the story, but I turned to Mark and said; "I liked your version better." He said; "Yeah; me too."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robots In Disguise For the most part I really did like RID. It was a breath of fresh air compared to the drudgery of Beast Machines. But the main thing that ticked me off about the toy line was that Hasbro skimped on both the techspec, and the character art. It seemed as if they didn't put much of an effert into making RID really good. Think about it...any Transformer that was under the price-range of $5 was never given techspecs. That really really sucks. Otherwise I did like RID.
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