"Was it very hard?" Chakotay hugged Kathryn too him as they sat in a quiet area of the garden together. "Very hard?" She questioned.
"Becoming one of the few women to occupy the role of Captain?" He shrugged. "I understand that many things *have changed on earth -- but . ."
"But," she finished for him, "not enough. Yes that's true." She smiled, "Only you, Commander, would be well-versed on women's 'politics' past and present. But to answer you question: there were times when I felt it reflected, unjustly, on how I was judged -- not so much that it was integrated into Starfleet but by individuals themselves. Does that make sense?"
"Yes it does. I can relate -- but from the perspective of an Maquis Outlaw," he chuckled as she stiffened. He knew she still had not becoming quite comfortable with that one unforgettable fact.
"Of course," she caught herself, "after surviving the endless amounts of patriarchal races in *this* quadrant," she rolled her eyes, "the Kazon et al, I'll have no problem in the Alpha quadrant."
They enjoyed the silence for another minute or so when he kissed the top of her head, "Do you want to head back? I'm sure things are quieting down."
"Oh! It is late, isn't it. Tuvok must think I've relinquished his protocols," she started but stopped as she noticed Chakotay's stance. "What's wrong?"
He shoved his hands into his pockets, and kicked at the dirt before looking up, the corners of his mouth curving upward, "I've already talked to Tuvok. He agreed that because you have to meet with the Minister tomorrow that it would be more 'logical' for you to stay on-sight at the hotel."
"Uh huh," Kathryn didn't buy it for a second. "Well commander, let's go put our drunken crew to bed."
The hallways on the Starfleet 'party floor' were practically abandoned except for one couple kissing. A few doors, remaining open, revealed people slouched on sofas watching viewscreens, or hunting for edible leftovers. Quiet conversations drifted by Kathryn's ears as she and Chakotay quietly made their way down the hallway to room 503. Chakotay cleared their entrance and waved at Tom and B'Elanna.
"Glad you two made it back. Though you did miss Neelix taking a dive into the . . ."Tom started.
"I don't want to know, Paris," Chakotay pointed his finger.
"Going to bed down with us, Captain?" Tom asked.
B'Elanna spoke up, "Kathryn's with me, and you two," she flung pillows at the men, "have the floor."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Tom said with attitude. "Chakotay and I are going to go get a drink first, have a talk . . . leave you two lovely ladies to . . well whatever you do before bed. We'll be back later." Chakotay seemed unaware of the plans but followed Paris out the door.
Kathryn wrapped her arms around the soft, cool pillow and sighed. She hadn't felt less like a Starfleet Captain and more like a party animal . . .well . . . ever in her life. These people had changed her in ways she had still to discover. Not that she wasn't pleased with the person she had been throughout life or the person she is on the bridge, on her ship, but it was pleasant to realize some of those diversities that Tuvok had mentioned.
"They're still not back," B'Elanna said sleepily into the dark. She was hugging her own pillow on the right side of the bed. "I don't even want to know what they're saying about us."
Kathryn smiled and moved her cheek against the pillowcase, "It's that age old male bonding process."
B'Elanna groaned but Kathryn heard the covers rustle and could make out in the darkness that the Klingon-Human woman had propped herself up on one arm, resting her chin in her palm.
"Did you and Chakotay . . ." she started but stopped herself, "I'm sorry, nevermind." She finished quickly and thudded back down against the pillow.
"Actually . . ." Kathryn's mind was aflame with memories as B'Elanna bolted back up again, this time huddling closer.
"You're kidding me," she gawked. "This is so great!" Suddenly Kathryn was being squeezed to death in her friend's and, ironically enough, her chief engineer's arms.
"B'Elanna . . . I never said anything!" Kathryn exclaimed.
"Right, I understand," she laid back down. "My lips are sealed."
"No, you misunderstood - I didn't answer your question," she tried again.
"Understood," the Klingon knew she was frustrating the woman. But what Kathryn Janeway needed was a little female-bonding, gossip, laughter and well, Chakotay. How could anyone spend all the years it would take them to get home alone? Alone . . . .she felt her heart beat faster. "Kathryn?"
"Hmm?" The sleepiness had edged into the other woman's voice.
"Do you ever . . . fear . . . being alone?" B'Elanna asked quietly. "Of having no one?"
Kathryn felt for her friends hand in the darkness and squeezed it lovingly, "All the time . . . all the time. In fact, I think we all do."
"Except Vulcans," B'Elanna stated.
"Except Vulcans," Kathryn laughed outloud.
"What if," B'Elanna turned from her back onto her side, gathering up the covers to her chin, "we make it home and Chakotay, me and the rest of us . . . what if Starfleet . . ."
"They won't," Kathryn stated passionately. "I'll make sure, Lieutenant, that that will *never* happen. You have my word."
For some reason, B'Elanna trusted everything her Captain said. That thought struck her as funny, as she drifted off to sleep recalling her personal wars with Starfleet and her extraordinary triumphs under the command of one Captain Kathryn Janeway.
CONTINUED IN PART 17!
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