TITLE: Shelter From the Storm (8/?)
AUTHOR: Elizabeth (sef7881@aol.com)
WEBSITE: https://www.angelfire.com/scary/randominsanity/RandomInsanity.html
PAIRING: Viggo Mortensen/Orlando Bloom, implied Orlando Bloom/Andre
Schneider
RATING: PG-13 for this part
SUMMARY: Finding hope in the darkest times
FEEDBACK: It's a giddy little thrill at a reasonable price
WARNINGS: AU, references to war and violence throughout the fic
DISCLAIMER: This story is solely a product of my twisted imagination
ARCHIVE: BTF, Of Elves and Men, my site; all others please ask, but
I'll surely say yes
AUTHOR'S NOTES: The first seven chapters of this story all followed
each other very closely, but this one jumps ahead for the purpose of advancing
the storyline. Thanks again to my magnificent beta, Losti
DATE WRITTEN: July 21st, 2003
It had been nine months since Orlando had started hiding in Viggo's apartment, and many things had changed for him. The nightmares had decreased in frequency, although they still jolted him awake two or three nights a week; he had also gained back the weight he had lost while living in fear in Berlin and on the run after Andre's death. His feeling of being in imminent danger had slipped away, and while he knew that he would not be completely safe until the war ended, staying with Viggo gave him a sense of security.
Every day, Viggo would eat his meals with Orlando in the small guest
bedroom, and the two often spent several hours a day with each other.
Viggo had bought numerous books in German for Orlando to read, since English
books were unavailable in Copenhagen, and they had done dramatic readings
of a few Shakespeare plays to pass the time. In addition, Viggo was
teaching Orlando to
speak Danish, and Orlando was now nearly fluent in the language.
The two had
developed a close friendship, one that made Orlando's confinement to
one room
much more bearable.
Still, life was difficult for Orlando. Whenever he heard the sounds of cars rumbling or dogs barking outside, he became acutely aware of how caged he was. He refused to look out of the window anymore, as the apartment building across from Viggo's had a Nazi flag draped across one of its windows. Loud noises still made his heart freeze for a second or two, and he felt panicky whenever he heard the front door open, even though Viggo was the only person who had come through it since Orlando began staying there.
Worst of all, the pain of Andre's death continued to plague him. He still dreamt at night about losing himself in Andre's blue eyes and soft kisses, only to wake up in the morning to the cold reminder that the other man was gone forever. It was becoming more and more difficult to retrieve the photograph of Andre from its hiding place, as Orlando knew that just one look at that beloved smile was enough to make him start crying again. All of it was so unfair -- the fact that Andre was dead, the way that he had been killed, and the memory of watching the murder take place right before his eyes.
But what was beginning to truly unnerve Orlando was the growing attraction he felt towards Viggo. At first, Orlando had been convinced that it was nothing more than a reaction to the incredible kindness that Viggo continued to show him, but he now had no doubt that he was beginning to fall in love. Of the maelstrom of emotions he felt about this new complication, the one that shone through the strongest was anger. Anger at himself.
He asked himself how he could betray his love for Andre so quickly by falling in love with Viggo. It hadn't even been a year since Andre had been killed, and Orlando was already thinking about someone else. His growing love for Viggo felt as if it invalidated how much Andre meant to him, and that bothered Orlando more than anything else.
Also, he told himself that it was foolish, maybe even dangerous, to fall in love with someone who was hiding him from the police. Orlando was smart enough to know that no matter how deeply he ended up falling in love with Viggo, he couldn't risk telling the other man how he felt. Orlando sincerely doubted that Viggo was gay himself, and while he couldn't conceive the other man throwing him out of the apartment because of his sexuality, Orlando wasn't willing to take any risks that could jeopardize his safety. He couldn't afford to offend Viggo, and concealing his love was a small price to pay to stay in hiding.
*****
"You're very quiet today," Viggo said as he watched Orlando pick at his dinner. "Is something wrong?"
"I'm fine," Orlando lied, staring down at his half-eaten egg salad so that he could avoid eye contact with the other man. The compassion he knew he'd find in Viggo's blue eyes would paradoxically be the worst thing he could see. He didn't want to see Viggo's kindness, or the evidence of how much he cared for Orlando; those things only made him fall further in love with Viggo, and that was the last thing he wanted.
"Are you sure?" Viggo asked dubiously. "You know that you can always talk to me." Yes, Orlando knew that. He had already shared much of his life story with Viggo, and knew a good deal about Viggo's life in return. Still, he knew that there were some things that he couldn't talk about. Like the fact that every time Viggo laughed, it made Orlando's heart skip a beat, or that he wondered what Viggo's hands would feel like on his skin.
"Really, I'm alright," Orlando insisted.
"Would you prefer it if I left you alone tonight?" Viggo's voice was gentle, and Orlando almost considered saying yes. But then he looked up and saw creases of anxiety on Viggo's forehead, and his heart clenched at the knowledge that Viggo was truly worried about him.
"No, please stay. I'm merely upset about . . . things in general," he said, motioning vaguely with his hand.
"Is there anything I can do?" Viggo asked.
A genuine smile graced Orlando's face. "You've done so much for me already, Viggo. You've become one of the best friends I've ever had, and I'm not saying that because you're giving me shelter. I'm saying it because when I spend time with you, I'm able to forget about everything else and actually have some fun."
"That's saying something, especially considering what you've been through," Viggo said with a smile. "And you've become one of my best friends as well."
"Can I ask you a question?" Orlando queried.
"Of course."
"If you love someone and they're taken away from you . . . how long should you mourn them? Is it ever okay to move on, to fall in love with someone else?"
Viggo frowned. "Are you thinking about Anna?" he asked, referring to the female name Orlando had assigned to Andre.
"Yes," Orlando murmured.
"Well, there's no real rule when it comes to those things. I think you have to decide for yourself when you're ready to go forward, and remember that just because you move on with your life doesn't mean that you're going to leave her behind." Viggo paused, trying to find the right words. "Orlando, when the time comes and you find someone, you shouldn't feel guilty about it. We're only given so much time to experience life, and if you find someone to share that time with, don't let that opportunity pass you by."
"I suppose you're right." Orlando managed a small smile.
"You'll know when the time is right to move on," Viggo told him gently. "It's *your* life, Orlando, and no one can tell you how to live it. If you have a chance to find happiness with someone, take it. Besides, don't you think Anna would want you to be happy?"
Of course Andre would want him to be happy, and Orlando knew that.
He also knew that he could no longer pretend he didn't love Viggo.
The fact was that Orlando was very much in love with the man who had saved
his life, given him shelter, and become a wonderful friend to him.
And nothing would ever come of it.
