"So ladies, how was your afternoon?" Taylor asked, smiling at them.
"Productive," Megan answered. A waiter came to take our drink orders, and as everyone told him what they wanted, I couldn't take my eyes away from Willow. Was she seriously sitting beside my father across the table from me? After such a long time of not speaking to each other, then just barely a 10-minute conversation, she really was back.
"Isaac? Yo, Ike? Do you want anything?" Zac asked, elbowing my side. I broke my gaze when Willow looked over at me and our eyes met. I looked down at the menu in my hands, but only ordered an ice water. The group kept up feeble conversation, of which I played no part. The waiter came back with our drinks and took our food order. The topic switched from the wedding to school. My dad asked Willow how she liked her classes and how her internship was going. At the mention of the internship, Will glanced over at me uncertainly before answering.
"It's wonderful. Everyone at the firm is really nice," she answered.
"Now, what firm is it again?" dad asked.
"Matthews and Mangella," Will answered. I absently stirred the ice in my glass with my straw, trying not to pay attention to their words.
"Oh, that's right. The law firm. Following in your father's footsteps, I see," dad was saying. Will smiled politely, yet uncomfortably.
"I guess so," she answered.
"Didn't he go to Harvard too? That has to be one of the best law schools," Taylor commented. Willow nodded.
"Well, Diana and I couldn't be more proud of you even if you were our own child. You've been like a member of the family for so long," Dad said. I sighed a little, causing everyone to give me strange looks. I scooted out of the booth and stood up.
"Excuse me for a minute," I said dryly, then walked away.
"Ike?" I heard Tay call after me. I ignored him and headed towards the front doors of the restaurant, stepping outside into the bright sunshine. There was a bit of a chill in the air, and I shivered slightly. My thoughts danced over what had just happened. I hadn't meant to be rude, but I was just tired of my father. Although I don't think he meant anything by it, his words seemed to be throwing all my failures back into my face. Of course my parents were proud of Willow. She was smart and successful and beautiful. She was independent, and wasn't afraid of getting what she wanted. What had upset me was that little bit about not being more proud, even if she was their daughter. It made me feel as though their own kids weren't good enough, like I wasn't good enough.
The fact that Willow was attending Harvard has struck a sharp note in me anyway, seeing as I had applied there once and been rejected. Her being accepted, and her happiness there, just brought up everything that I wanted to forget, everything that I had once wanted and was denied. Sure, I was having the time of my life at school here in Tulsa, but it still hurt to have it thrown back at me. I had unknowingly started pacing on the sidewalk, and stopped abruptly when the doors opened and Willow joined me outside.
His cheeks turned a little red, and I couldn't tell if it was from the cold or from embarrassment. "Yeah. I'm sorry, Will, I just… I needed some air," he explained. I nodded in understanding, giving him a concerned look.
"Okay." I sat down on a bench near him, but didn't make an effort to comfort him any further. He had to do things his own way for him to feel comfortable. Luckily, though, Ike sat down on the bench also, a few inches away from me.
"This is hard," he said quietly. "I always thought that when everything between us had passed, it would be so simple to just go back to how everything was before."
"It's not that easy," I agreed. "A lot has happened, a lot has changed."
Ike looked over his shoulder and into a window, then laughed a little. "My parents really do care about you. You're their model child," he said, semi-bitterly. Although they shouldn't have, his words stung a little.
"No, Isaac, I'm not. I'm their model child's best friend," I told him. He looked over at me and I reached over to put my hand over his, holding his gaze.
"Really, Zac? Excited much?" I teased.
"More so than you'd think!" Zac answered enthusiastically. He laughed then, and sighed a little. "I'm sorry, I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I'm just anxious to spend some time with you. Between your school and us recording the new album, we've had like, zero time together. And we're going on promos starting next month, we'll be away from each other for so long."
I smiled a little at his concern for our time spent together, or lack thereof. Sometimes Zac sounded much older than his 16 years. "Let's not think about that right now."
"Okay, okay. So, what are you doing tomorrow? Are we gonna get together so I can give you your present?" Zac asked. I thought for a moment.
"Um, sure, I guess. We're going to my Grandma's house in the early afternoon for presents and dinner, and we won't be back until the evening," I told him. "But you could come over before we leave."
"Oh, I can't. We've got family coming over all day," he said, sounding disappointed.
"Oh, well, that's okay. We can just hang out sometime later on this week," I suggested cheerfully, trying to soften the frustration of not being able to see each other on Christmas.
"Okay. Look, I have to go now. We're getting ready to go to church. Call me tomorrow night when you get home, okay?"
"Alright. I'll see you later. Bye Zac, Merry Christmas," I said.
"Merry Christmas. I love you."
"I love you too." I pressed the off button on the cordless phone and let it tumble out of my hands, a smile spreading across my face at the thought of having the whole week alone with Zac.
"Hey guys, taking up shelter as well?" I asked, plopping down onto my bed beside Jessica. She grinned.
"You know I love our family, but there's only so much you can take of them," she told me. Zac nodded in agreement.
"I think that I'd be able to stand it if Reagan were here," he added. I looked over at Isaac to see him plucking at the strings of his guitar, lost in his own world.
"Ike?" I asked. He didn't react. "Isaac?"
He looked up then. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I was just wondering why you were hiding up here. Is Willow coming over?" I asked him. Ike shook his head, turning back to his guitar.
"Nope, she's staying in Chandler this year," he answered.
"Well, why? I thought you guys had patched things up," I stated. Jessi grinned.
"They did. Ikers the Romantic is writing her a love song," she teased. Isaac shook his head, not bothering to look over at us.
"Grow up, Jessi," he told her. We stayed in the room for nearly an hour, just talking and sitting there, hiding from the mass of people throughout the rest of the house. Finally, there was a knock on the door and our father poked his head into the room.
"Hey, there you guys are. Your mother is looking for you. She wants you to sing something for your grandma before she leaves," he told us. We followed him down the stairs without complaining, and our family all watched us with smiles.
"What should we do?" Zac asked.
"Silent Night medley, the version from Snowed In," Ike answered. He looked at Jessi. "You take the harmony, we'll cover the rest."
After our little holiday performance, most of our family filtered out of the house and into their cars, echoes of "Merry Christmas" still lingering in the air. Zac, Isaac, Jessi, and I had moved our little laze-fest from the bedroom to the couch in the living room. Dad entered the room and shook his head, smiling.
"You guys are being awful lazy today," he stated. We shrugged unanimously and didn't say anything. The phone rang then and Jessi answered it, then gave it to Zac.
"It's Reagan," she told him. Zac took the cordless and headed upstairs to the bedroom to talk. I looked at my watch and decided to head over to Megan's house, having been invited for dinner. Jessi got up and went to look for Avery. Dad sat beside Isaac, who didn't look up from his guitar.
"Ike?" Once again, Isaac didn't look up. Dad put his hand over Isaac's, eliciting an annoyed look from my brother. "Isaac."
"What, dad? I'm in the middle of something."
"Drop the tone of voice, Clarke Isaac-"
"Don't 'Clarke Isaac' me. The first and middle names may have intimidated us when we were younger, but it doesn't anymore. I'm an adult now, I don't need you to treat me like I'm Jessica's age," Isaac interrupted. Dad looked a little taken aback, and I paused on my way towards the door, surprised by Ike's outburst.
"Well then," dad said quietly. "You say you're an adult now, I say that until you start acting like one I'll treat you however I choose to. Just because you're grown up doesn't mean that my job as a father is over. And as your father, I still demand to be treated with respect."
I smiled a little at my father's calmness in handling the situation. I looked at my brother as he nodded humbly, starting down at the floor. "Yes sir," he mumbled.
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry if I made you feel bad last week at the restaurant. I didn't mean for my words to insult you, I was just trying to express my enthusiasm for Willow's good fortune," he explained. "It was later brought to my attention that you saw that as a way to insult you, which it was most certainly not. Yes, your mother and I are proud of Willow, but nowhere near as proud as we are of our own children. Especially you, Isaac."
"Yeah. I feel like just pushing my parents out the front door right now, but, you know, since it's Christmas and all…" Reagan trailed off as I laughed.
"Now now, Reagan. Contain yourself. Only 3 more days," I told her. There were some voices in the background, then Reagan had to go. I hung up the phone and then laid back on the bed, tucking my arms behind my head. Only three more days, and all my time would be spent with Reagan. I had a feeling that this would be the best vacation I'd ever had.
"Laundry?" Mom asked, entering my bedroom suddenly. I draped my hand off the edge of the bed in the direction of my dirty clothes hamper. Mom smiled a little and went to retrieve it, murmuring, "Lazy boy."
"Hey mom?" I asked suddenly, sitting up. She paused and looked at me. I chewed the inside of my lip gently, then shook my head. "No, nevermind."
I laid back on the bed, and mom shook her head a little, then continued collecting my laundry. I watched her for a moment, thoughts running through my mind about what would happen next week. I decided that from then on, I'd help out with my laundry. I would have to start doing a lot more things to prove my responsibility, considering all the changes I'd go through. Just as my mother was exiting my room, I sat up again.
"Mom?"
"Zac?" she replied, stopping in the doorway. I gave her a genuine smile.
"I love you," I told her. Mom smiled back at me.
"I love you too, baby," she replied. She left the room, and I reached for the phone. I dialed Isaac's number, and he answered on the second ring.
"Hello?"
"Hey Ike, it's Zac," I said, getting up and peeking my head out the door before closing it.
"Oh, hiya Zac. What's up?"
"Not much. I just wanted to talk to you about a few things. Can I come over?"
"W-what?" I asked, not really wanting to hear the question again but making sure I'd heard right. Zac merely blinked, as if it were an everyday question.
"How do you know when you're ready to take a relationship a step further?" he repeated calmly. I rubbed my fast-becoming sweaty palms on the thighs of my jeans.
"Uh...um, what do you mean? Like, holding hands stepping up to kissing?" I asked stupidly. Zac gave me an amused smile.
"No, Isaac, I think I accomplished that step, oh, way back when I was 9," he teased gently. "No, I'm talking about me and Reagan. I really want her to know how much I love her, and I think that sleeping together would really prove that."
"Now, Zac… Can't you just tell her you love her? I think that would get the point across well enough," I insisted stubbornly.
"But I already did that! We both know we love each other, we say it all the time. I want to show her how much I do, and that I can't imagine anyone else in my future besides her."
"Well, give her a wedding ring then," I said sarcastically, standing up and walking into the kitchen. Zac sighed.
"I already talked to mom and dad about that and they won't let me!" he answered, following me. "Ike…"
"Zac, you wanted my opinion, so I'm giving it to you. Honestly, I don't know if there is a specific time to intensify a relationship. It's all up to you. But in this case, I know that you are both way too young to even think about having sex. You should be worrying about sports, and grades, and acne and stuff," I told him. Zac gave me a doubtful look, raising his eyebrows. I stared back at him for a moment, then sighed. "Well, screw that. You and I both know that you're just gonna do whatever you want anyway. Just make sure that whatever you do, you're educated about it. I don't approve, but I can't stop you."
Zac grinned at me. "Thanks Ike. I don't think you really helped at all, but I'm glad I can confide in someone." He turned to leave, but stopped and faced me again, his face turning slightly red. "Um, and as someone I can confide in, would you mind going over to the drug store and getting something for me?"
I laughed at him. "You know, Zac, if you're old enough to want to sleep with your girlfriend, you're old enough to take care of everything yourself. No, I won't go to the store for you. But I'll loan you some money."
"Thanks, Ike," he said, catching a small roll of bills that I tossed to him. He smiled, and I merely shook my head.
"Don't mention it. But next time, talk to dad."
Zac scoffed at me. "Dad? Yeah, right. Do you really want me to be forced into monk-hood at age 16? I didn't think so!" he joked, then disappeared out the door.
"Willow, I've already told you that Teresa has offered to stay late and baby-sit, so you can go out tonight," she reminded me, speaking of the house-keeper and on-occasion baby sitter. I sighed dramatically and flopped over onto my back.
"No… I have no life… No, scratch that. My family is my life. I'll stay home," I told her. Olivia only shook her head and turned back to the mirror to finish her make-up.
"Okay… but don't say I didn't offer," she said under her breath. The phone rang, and a second later Brad stepped into the room, BJ balanced on his hip.
"Will, Taylor's on the phone for you," he told me. I jumped off the bed and went into my own room to take the call.
"Hello?" I greeted.
"Will! What are you doing tonight?" he asked.
"Baby-sitting. Why?"
"Can you get out of it? We're going to a party tonight, and I want you to come with us," Tay told me. I smiled a little at his invitation, excitement stirring within me.
"Define 'us'," I told him. Tay sighed.
"I don't know… me and Meg, Ike and a few of his friends… It doesn't matter who, but we're just gonna have fun. It's a college party, man! Come with us," he pleaded.
"Well, I don't know…" I teased, knowing full well that I would go.
"Please please please? With hot fudge and whipped cream and a cherry on top?" Taylor begged. I grinned.
"What, no rainbow sprinkles?" I joked.
"Yes! Every kind of sprinkles ever invented! I won't take no for an answer, Willow Carter. We're all meeting at Ike's in about an hour and a half. You'd better be there, or I'll never talk to you again," Tay insisted. I could tell he was smiling.
"Okay, okay! I'll be there," I promised.
"Good. I'll see you in a bit then. Bye Will." I hung up the phone and raced into my brother's room. Olive looked up from playing with BJ as Brad gelled his dark hair.
"Um, is Teresa still here?" I asked. Olive smiled.
"Why, are you going out?" she responded. I nodded excitedly. She opened her mouth to answer, but Brad was quicker.
"No, you can't. We're already counting on your having no life," he joked. I made a face at him as Olive giggled.
"Very funny, Bradley," I said. He grinned.
"So where are you going?" Olivia asked.
"To a TU college party. We're meeting at Isaac's in an hour and a half… I've gotta take a shower and get ready!" I dashed back out of the room to get ready to go, leaving Olive and Brad smiling at each other and BJ babbling quietly.
"What?!" he shouted. I just smiled and shook my head. He laughed and grabbed my hand, leading me towards the back of the frat house where the party was, and away from the source of the music. We passed a couple making out on a chair in the hallway, evidently starting the New Year's celebration a little early. We reached the kitchen, where some guys were having a drinking contest. As we watched, one guy poured a can of beer all over his face and open mouth, then started whooping with everyone else who was cheering him on. Ike and I looked at each other, then laughed. He led me out of the sliding glass doors and onto the back patio.
"This is wild," I commented. Ike laughed, running a hand through his hair.
"You might not believe it, but I've seen worse," he told me. He raised a blue plastic cup to his lips, and I looked away awkwardly. I was drinking a Sprite, but I had no clue what was in his cup, and I'd seen what alcohol has done to him before. Ike brought the cup away from his mouth and put a hand on my shoulder, concerned.
"Will? Don't worry, it's straight root beer. IBC all the way," he promised, offering me his cup as if to back up his words. I shook my head at him.
"No, I trust you," I told him. We both froze for a minute, my words catching up both off guard. But it was the truth. Despite all that had happened, I trusted him again. We sat down on some lawn chairs on the back patio and started to talk. For the next hour and a half, we caught up on all the things we'd missed together while we were apart. He told me about recording the new album, and about the start of school again. I mentioned my internship and some classes I was taking, but mostly I just listened. If there were only one person on Earth whose voice I had to listen to for the rest of my life, it would be Isaac. His voice had a way of putting me in a trance; I could listen to him forever.
Eventually, the conversation drifted towards dating. We both seemed to quiet down when I'd somehow brought up Marc's name, and we both looked into our cups awkwardly. Ike cleared his throat a little. "So, this thing with Marc, is it serious?"
I thought for a moment before nodding a little. "Yes," I said softly, not able to bring myself to look into his eyes. I felt guilty for dating someone else, and then I felt guilty for feeling guilty.
"Oh, well, that's cool. I guess. He seemed like a nice guy when I met him at the barbecue," Ike continued, trying to sound normal. I nodded.
"Yeah, he's great."
"Are you saying that to assure me or you?" he asked, causing me to finally look up at him. I stared into his eyes for a moment, taken aback that he would ask that and a little angry too.
"You, of course. Why would I need to assure myself?" I replied. Ike only shrugged and shook his head. We sat in silence for a moment before I decided to turn the tables. "What about you? Is there a girl waiting for you somewhere?"
"Oh, yeah, you know me. I've got at least 10 now," Ike said, stretching back in his chair with a smug smile on his face. I gave him a dubious look, and Ike laughed. "No, no one since…"
He trailed off, and I gave him a curious look. "No one since who?"
Ike shook his head and sat up again, suddenly in a not-so-humorous mood. "Nothing. It was just a little fling," he explained.
"How little?"
"One night," Isaac admitted. I stopped smiling and gave him a concerned look.
"Just one night? What happened?"
"Nothing, nothing. It was just a mistake. A little too much alcohol, a really pretty girl, and me, with all the problems I was having. I thought that I could escape them, at least for one night. But I was wrong. There were only more in the morning," he told me, looking off absently into the trees in the backyard. "It wasn't even worth it. What's a one night stand if you're too drunk to remember it?"
"You slept with her?" I asked quietly, shocked that he would do that. Ike looked back at me and nodded solemnly. I swallowed thickly around a lump that had formed in my throat.
"Oh," was all I could say. Ike reached over and put his hand on top of mine.
"I'm sorry," he said. Surprised, I pulled my hand out from under his.
"What are you apologizing to me for?" I asked. "I don't think I'm the one who needs to hear it."
"I know, I know." Ike took his hand away and looked back at the trees again. "I feel really bad for what I did, but I feel even worse for screwing up my dreams."
"Dreams of what?" I asked, intrigued.
Isaac blinked a few times before answering. "I'd always assumed that my first time would be with you. And I screwed that up. More than once, I guess. So there goes my dream."
I didn't know what to say. I couldn't answer him, actually. To hear him say that he'd dreamed of sleeping with me for the first time was overwhelming. I just sat there stupidly for a moment before hearing the noise inside die down suddenly. After a few seconds, there were voices in unison.
"Five… Four… Three…"
"Willow?"
"Two…"
"What?"
"One… Happy New Year!"
Isaac reached over and grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to face him. I looked up into his eyes, my lower lip suddenly trembling as I felt tears sting my eyes. He put his hand under my chin and leaned forward towards me. I held my breath.
"Do you think Marc would mind if I kissed you? For the Holiday's sake?" he asked softly.
"Yes," I felt like blurting out. If he ever learned of the situation I was presently in, I would never hear the end of it. Instead, though, I merely shook my head. So Isaac leaned forward and just barely pressed his lips against mine. I closed my eyes and it was over.
"Happy New Year," Ike whispered.
"Hey Dad, old man, we're finished," I told him with a grin. My father threw a snowball at me.
"Hey, don't taunt me. I helped create you, and I can extinguish you just as easily," he threatened playfully. My mother swatted him on the arm and smiled, then they went back to putting the finishing touches on their snowman. Mackie threw a snowball in our direction, and Meg bounded off to join my younger siblings in their fight. I smiled, sticking my gloved hands into my jacket pocket, then headed over towards Zac.
"Hey man," I greeted. He grinned widely at me.
"Hey Taylor," he answered, nodding a little. He grabbed his bags from the backseat of the car and headed towards the front door. Willow had gone over to look at the snowmen, and Ike followed Zac into the house. Something was up, I just knew it, so I sneaked into the house as well.
"So?" Ike was saying to our younger brother as I entered the kitchen. Zac was smiling.
"What?" he asked, laughing a little.
"Don't give me that innocent look. You can't get away with that anymore," Ike said lightly. "Did you…?"
"What's going on?" I asked, barging into the room and startling them both a little. Then Ike went over and put his arm around Zac's shoulders.
"Taylor, our little Zac is now a man," he announced. I raised one eyebrow.
"Huh?"
"Forget it," Zac laughed, shrugging out from under Ike's arm. "It's not that big a deal. I don't want to announce it to the world or anything."
"It is a big deal, Zac. This is a major milestone for you."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. What happened?" I asked, now entirely confused. Ike gave Zac a perplexed look, and Zac sighed.
"Reagan and I slept together," he mumbled, suddenly acting shy. I was surprised for a moment, then smiled a little.
"Whoa, that is a big deal," I commented. Zac shrugged.
"I guess. I just don't want to make too much of it is all," he explained, grabbing his bags and heading towards the stairs. Ike and I followed him.
"So, what went wrong?" I asked once we reach our bedroom. Zac gave me a strange look.
"What?"
"Well, something had to have gone wrong for you to not want to talk about it or shout it from the rooftops. I mean, the first time Megan and I…"
"Okay, okay, enough! Too much information!" Zac laughed, holding up his hands to silence me. "Nothing went wrong. It was great. It was better than great. I love Reagan, and I just choose to keep some things private. It has less meaning if you talk about it, you know?"
I smiled at Zac as he went about putting his things away. Ike was right. Zac was growing up.
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